Aware that she'd seen how he was staring at her he felt raw and gauche. âIf you like, I'll take a look at it for you.' Once more he was in control. âI live just along there in that cottage.' Then, unable to keep the pride out of his voice, he added, âThis field here, well, I say field but it's a market garden really, it's mine. I've just been out delivering the veg to the shop in the village.'
âYou grow all that?' She spoke in awed admiration just as he'd hoped she would. âDo you reckon you can fix it so that I can get back to Exeter? I'd be awfully grateful.'
He liked her more and more. Some girls would have looked on him with suspicion because he suggested she should go home with him. But not this one. She had bags of common sense; he knew it immediately. As she bent to up-end her bike, he picked it up and laid it on his cart.
âI've been cycling all day,' she told him as they started along the lane, speaking as if she'd known him for years. âIt was really exciting, all of it new to me. I've only been in Exeter for a fortnight and my day off last week was wet.'
âYou've taken a job in Exeter? What do you do?'
âA sort of general bit of this and bit of that. When I left school I was needed at home so I've never trained for anything. All I really know is looking after a house and cooking â that sort of thing. I work for an elderly couple, brother and sister. Dear old things they are. They have a housekeeper, so you could call me a housemaid except that I do other things. Sometimes I read to the old dears. Neither of them can see well enough to read for themselves and they like to keep abreast with the daily news. I like doing that, because that way I get to read the paper too. I do the mending and the ironing, I go out shopping. Yesterday I made twelve pots of jam. Like I say, I just do whatever comes along. Not being trained for anything, really, I was lucky to get taken on.'
âI reckon they're the lucky ones having you there to look after them. So where have you been today?'
âI didn't have a map so it's hard to say. One place I went to was called Otterton St Giles â that was about the furthest I suppose. That's where I ate my sandwiches. Then to a bigger place, Deremouth, this side of the estuary. When it was time to start for home I followed a sign that said Exeter but got sidetracked at the end of the lane here when I read this was the way âTo the Common'
.
I shouldn't have attempted it, not with all these ruts in the track. I expect that's what got my chain off again. It was fine all the way from that Deremouth place.'
âWe'll soon get it fixed. Here we are, in you go.' He held the gate open for her then followed her with the cart. âDo you want to wait in the house while I see what I can do? My toolbox is in the shed over there.'
âI'd rather come and watch you, just in case I have trouble another time â unless your wife or your mother or someone is in there and will think it rude of me.'
âI have neither wife nor mother. I live on my own.' Then with a ring of pride, he added, âAnd I work on my own too, can't afford any help yet. But it's all coming along really well. When I've done the bike I'll show you what I grow if you like.'
She nodded, her wide mouth beaming with pleasure. âI'd like that.'
It was more than an hour later that he walked with her to the end of the lane and saw her on her way. He'd wanted to ask her to come to Sedgewood again next time she had a day off and it didn't rain, but he was frightened to suggest it in case she refused. So all he said was, âI work here on my own all the time. If you're ever this way drop in and say hello.'
âMay I? I don't want to be a nuisance when you've got masses to do. Or perhaps you could give me some jobs. Remember I'm good at doing a bit of this and a bit of that.'
âCome soon, won't you.' The words were out before he could stop them.
âJust try and stop me! By the way, what's your name? I'm Kathie Barnes.'
âAnd I'm Dennis Hawthorne. Just Den does me.'
âBye then, Den. If it's not chucking it down on us next week I'll ride over. But you must promise you'll tell me if you're too busy. I won't mind, honestly.'
He promised. But secretly they both knew that the days between then and her next free time were simply hours to be lived through.
Until the day he had chanced on Kathie, his own company had been all he'd wanted. His three years at Westways had calmed his shattered nerves, even dimmed some of the memories that would never be erased; solitude had become a habit and he was never lonely. Then meeting Kathie changed everything.
The following week he took her into the cottage, giving her the Grand Tour of the sparsely furnished rooms with their distempered walls. He even pointed out the zinc bath and the outside closet, not as features to be despised but as an accepted part of the ambience. And viewing it all, her eyes shone with admiration; there he was, a young, strong, good-looking man, thoroughly self-reliant.
As the weeks went by, each time she had her day off she cycled from the house near Exeter to Sedgewood. It would have taken more than rain to deter her, in fact she liked wet days when instead of working on the land they were in the cottage. She cooked their lunch â making sure she did enough that he had something he could warm up for supper or for the next day. For both of them, her visits were the highlight of their week. He knew so little about girls. Being with her made him aware of what a loner he had become. Most of his army compatriots had gone home to wives or girlfriends, but he'd had neither. If he'd had a sedentary job (like the one in that dingy shed by the harbour) he would have looked for female company in the evenings. Most nights when he went to bed he was too tired to miss the thing that was lacking in his life. Yet he was a normal, healthy young man and often enough his sleep would be disturbed by something he couldn't control. Knowing nothing of the realities of shared love making, even his fantasies lacked direction. All that changed when Kathie came into his life. He would find himself watching her as she reached to pick the first of the runner beans, aware that on these warm summer days she wore nothing under her cotton blouse and imagining how her small breasts would feel if only he could hold them in the palms of his hands. Then his hand might move down her flat stomach, force its way between her slender thighs, he would . . .
âWhat's up?' she said, turning unexpectedly from her task. Then, suddenly uncertain, âAre you all right, Den? You look sort of funny.'
âKathie, I was thinking.'
âOh dear! Do you always look funny when you think?' she teased.
âKathie, I've never felt like this before. Is this what being in love does to you?'
âIn love?' It was barely a whisper.
The runner beans were forgotten as he came close to her and held her hands tightly in his. âCan't think of anything but you. I want you as part of my life â all of my life â working together, living together. Kathie, what is it? Don't cry, Kathie.'
âCan't help it. So happy.' As the tears spilled from her brimming eyes, she forced her contorted face into a smile. âHold me tight, Den.'
Clinging to each other they knew complete happiness. With all the innocence of youth they saw their futures as cloudless; if they had each other nothing could touch them.
âYou're only eighteen. Who has to give permission for you to marry?'
âMy mother.' It came as a surprise to him that she had a relative as close as a mother. She never spoke of her family. âShe lives in Hampshire. My father died when I was just a kid but Mum and I were fine, he left enough money for us to live on. I don't mean we were rich, but she never had to worry and the house was our own. I was still at school when she met Cyril Harper, a photographer. She fell for him. She behaved as if she were less than half her age. Anyway, it was stupid; we were quite all right as we were. But they got married and he came to live in our house. He decided I was old enough to leave school and help at home. I was no more than a glorified maid in the house â not even a glorified one if I'm truthful. Mother got pregnant as soon as they were married and the next thing I was expected to be nursemaid too. Algy was a good little chap I suppose, but I resented always having to look after him, wash his nappies, everything. But Mother was intent on giving beastly Cyril everything he wanted. Before Algy was a year old she had her next, a girl they called Lily. That was back in January. I made up my mind I was going to get a job. Then with Lily only a few weeks old, Mother and her wretched man were pleased as punch because she recognized the signs; hardly up and about from Lily, she was pregnant again. They seem to want to breed like rabbits and they're not even young. Mother is
forty
and he's even more. It's
disgusting.
' She almost spat the word out.
Dennis looked at her tenderly, thinking not so much about her mother's second chance at happiness as about the hurt he knew Kathie felt.
âBut they're happy together?'
âIf being happy means that she gazes at him like some moonstruck youngster and talks a lot of drivel about getting pregnant so easily being proof that they are made for each other. It was as if she couldn't think of anything else. It was as if he'd cast a sort of spell on her. I didn't want to hear about it. They're old, for goodness sake! It's revolting. Anyway I saw this job in the newspaper and wrote about it, then the next thing I knew I had a letter saying they wanted me to work for them. They're a nice old couple â Mr and Miss Blackwell. They pay me ten shillings a week and my keep â it was going to be seven and sixpence but on my first pay day Mr Blackwell said they had had a little chat and decided to give me ten shillings.' She had talked fast, speaking her thoughts aloud. âHeavens! Hark at me! Once I get started there's no stopping me.'
âI love you Kathie Barnes. I want to know everything â about your past, about your thoughts . . .'
âAnd my future?'
âAnd your future . . . every day of our lives, darling Kathie. And if what your mother says is true we shall have an army of children to help us on the land.'
She chuckled, nuzzling her head against his neck.
âI'll write to Mother this evening and tell her about us. I'll say we want to be married and ask for her consent. She'll give it right enough. She's so besotted with that pompous prick of a man that she's probably forgotten I exist at all.'
Dennis laughed at the sudden change in her tone.
âWe'll be so happy that no one will have the power to trouble us. I ought to have proposed to you in the time honoured way, on one knee vowing my endless loveâ'
âAnd all that jazz,' she sang. Then meeting his gaze her expression suddenly changed again. Excitement gave way to an emotion that seemed to take her breath away. âDen, hold me close.' She had never been kissed like this; her heart was pounding and following her natural impulse her lips parted and she moved her tongue on his mouth. For Dennis, too, this was a new experience. Often enough when he'd woken in the silence of the night he had imagined her as he followed where nature led. But that was as nothing compared with the reality of holding her.
âYour hand,' she whispered with her mouth touching his. And the next thing he knew she guided him to press it against her small, pert breast, her own hand covering his and moving his fingers backwards and forwards across the pinnacle of her nipple.
âNo, Kathie,' he spoke more to himself than to her. âKathie, I want to touch you, every bit of you. Oh God, but I want you.'
She felt him pull his hand from her breast and moved her own with it, so that as he lowered his she still held it and together they raised her skirt then guided him to the wide leg of her knickers. Never before had he hated the narrow life he'd led as he hated it now. On leave in France he had been with some of his compatriots to what were thought of as ânaughty' shows, but never had he seen a naked woman and never had his hand explored as it did as Kathie stood close against him with one leg wrapped around him. As his finger probed he drew back his head and looked at Kathie; her eyes were closed, her lips parted and as she breathed she made a soft whimpering sound. She was as inexperienced and naïve as he was, but she wasn't ignorant. With her eyes still closed she moved the hand that had lead him to his goal and eased it into the waist of his trousers. He gave a shuddering sigh as he felt it close around him.
âKathie, no, Kathie, no.' Then, unable to stop himself, he continued, âYes, go on, harder, harder, oh God, coming . . . can't stop it.' With a convulsive movement he leant heavily on her as she felt the warm fluid on her hand, bringing her closer to filling the gaps in her knowledge and understanding. âSo sorry . . . tried not to . . .'
âI'm glad it happened. Den, I love you so much.' They had moved apart, her skirt fallen back into place and her hand retrieved. But the moment still held them; they weren't ready to let it go. He passed her his handkerchief to wipe her hand; they didn't look directly at each other. For both of them the last minutes had been a journey of discovery.
âHow soon can we get married?' she asked. âWe don't have to save up for a silly honeymoon or anything, do we? And working in the garden here I shan't want a trousseau of posh clothes.'
âBefore you go, give me your mother's name and address. I'll write to her this evening.'
âYou, not me?'
âYou can write as well if you want, of course you can. But I must ask her permission. And she'll want to know something about me.' Then with a sudden and boyish grin, he added, âWhat a fine upstanding young fella I am.'
âWhat about your people? Not for permission, but they ought to know what sort of a girl you're tying yourself up to.'
âI've told you about Grandad dying while I was in France. He was all the family I had. I can't remember my parents; they were killed in a train crash when I was about three. They'd been on an outing with the church choir they both sang in. Grandad brought me up.'