When Smiles Fade (27 page)

Hours later, not knowing what time it was, she woke up to find Ethan having sex with her. She didn’t fight him, because she knew that would only lead to another, more serious brawl. Rather, she lay there like a lifeless doll, letting him do whatever he wanted. But a slow, grinding anger was building up within her and she welcomed it this time, letting it course through her veins and reach her heart, its flames red-hot, obliterating, and turning to ashes any love she might have once felt for him.

While Emma’s relationship with Ethan had turned rotten, her closeness with Salvatore ripened. He had been at Doubles almost every night since he first met Emma. Within a couple of weeks, they had fallen into a routine. She would give him a lap dance and he would reward her with a hundred-dollar tip. Over time, Salvatore and Emma became friends. After she performed her lap dance, they would sit and chat at the bar. He was a kind man. Yet he commanded respect from everyone who talked to him. She was turned on by the aura of power and authority he exuded and couldn’t quite understand where its source lay. All she knew was that when Salvatore talked, people wanted to hear what he had to say. He always came to the bar alone and showered all of his attention on Emma, a fact that made her feel flattered and reassured her that she had something that made her stand out from the others.

Eventually Emma confided in Salvatore about her past. She told him how she had been beaten as a young child by her father, pointing out the scar on her right breast from the cigarette burn and that the slash marks on her lower back were a permanent reminder of her father’s relentless beatings. It was as if God never wanted her to forget the pain that abuse can cause. She told him about Jake and all that he had done to Gracie and her. Salvatore felt his anger flare at the injustices she had suffered and wished Pepper and Jake were still alive so that he could kill them with his bare hands. Yet his anger was dimmed by his fascination with the courage and resilience that this seemingly innocent young girl had shown to survive such horrors in her life.

Emma told him about some of the ways in which Ethan treated her, but was too mortified to share all of her stories or go into detail. She did tell him that whenever her boyfriend was aiming to launch into a jealous tirade against her, he would create an opportunity for himself by yelling, “Don’t make me lose my head!” as though she had provoked him in some way and was, therefore, responsible for his loss of temper.

“Ethan has been taking my money. Just last night he was angry with me and he well…” She stopped, noticing his clenched jaw.

“He what?” Salvatore demanded.

“He choked me until I passed out. Then while I was out cold, he started having sex with me. With all the arguing and jealousy, he’s become a real pain in the ass,” she shared nervously.

Enraged by Ethan’s violent behavior, Salvatore suggested giving the dickhead a much-needed visit, but Emma urged him to stay out of it and mind his own business.

“No, I can deal with it,” she stated confidently, assuring Salvatore that she wasn’t afraid to fight back in self-defense.

Emma and Salvatore enjoyed a rapport she hadn’t shared with anyone. He was full of wisdom and never seemed bothered by anything. He listened to her stories patiently and never once accused her of any wrongdoing. On the contrary, he became more protective about her, something she began to sense over time. He rarely spoke about himself, giving his full attention to her every time they were together.

That same night, while Emma sat at the bar with one of the other dancers, Foster came over with two beers.

“These are from Salvatore,” he told them.

The girls lifted their beers to toast him from across the bar and he lifted his shot of grappa, toasting them back.

“Em, he also wanted me to give you this,” Foster said, sounding concerned.

Emma took the paper from his hand. It had a phone number written on it. “What’s wrong with you, Foster? It’s just a fucking phone number,” Emma said mockingly.

“Yeah, well, Salvatore doesn’t give his phone number to just anyone,” Foster replied. “You get me?”

“Not really.” Emma looked at him, puzzled. “Why are you being so mysterious, Foster? Can you just speak English, please?”

“You’ve been dancing for him for months. Giving him lap dances almost every night. And the two of you have been talking for a long time. You do know who Salvatore is, right?”

“No, I don’t,” Emma shot back. “He’s just a nice guy who comes in and wants to spend time with me. What the fuck, Foster! Tell me what you know!”

“Shit! His name is Salvatore Morano. Ring any bells?” Foster asked.

“No, it doesn’t ring any bells. What’s the big deal?” Emma persisted, beginning to lose patience with him.

“Salvatore’s father is Johnny Morano. He’s the head of the Mafia family here in Philly. You know, his dad is
the
Godfather
. I’m sure you’ve seen the movie.
Now
do you get it?”

“Oh my God! Oh my God! I didn’t know!” Emma said, more to herself than to Foster.

Anxiety suddenly overwhelmed her. She had told Salvatore so much about Gracie and her. He knew just about everything there was to know about her life, including where she lived.

When Emma got up from the bar to leave for the night, Salvatore stopped her.

“That number the bartender just gave you is my cell number. If you ever need me, call me. Understand?” he said, planting a small kiss on her forehead.

“Yeah, Salvatore, I understand.” Emma turned to walk away, but stopped abruptly. “Thanks,” she said and kissed Salvatore on the cheek.

On the drive back to her apartment that night, as Ethan rambled on about the Eagles losing another football game, Emma was submerged in her own thoughts. The evening’s events, the time she spent with Salvatore, lulling her into a false state of security.

The next day, Emma went to see Katie. As the two women chatted over coffee and Emma poured herself another cup, she handed her friend the piece of paper with Salvatore’s cell phone number.

“I need you to put this number in your cell phone,” she told Katie. “Ethan checks my cell phone all the time. He keeps worrying that I’m cheating on him, the moron! Anyway, put it under the name Sal M., all right?”

“Sure, but what’s going on?” Katie asked, intrigued and a little excited by her friend’s need to keep the number a secret from Ethan. “Who’s Sal M.?” Was Emma about to dump Ethan for a new boyfriend, she wondered, hoping that she would.

“He’s one of the regulars at the bar,” Emma confided. “A powerful guy. I want to keep his number, just in case I ever need it. Don’t tell anyone.”

“You know I won’t, Em,” Katie promised. “So what’s up with you and Ethan? He’s been a bit of an asshole lately, hasn’t he?”

“What do you mean an asshole?” Emma asked, wanting her friend to validate her decision that he was no good.

“No, nothing, really,” Katie replied. “I’ve just been getting a bad feeling about him. He just isn’t the nice guy he used to be when the two of you met. And why the fuck isn’t he working anymore? He’s taking advantage of you, Emma.”

“I know. I’m going to tell him he has to move out,” Emma assured her.

However, there was something in Katie’s tone that caused Emma’s stomach to turn. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else going on?” she asked her friend. “You know you can tell me. Right, Katie?”

“There’s nothing wrong, Em,” she reassured her, not wanting to reveal that she got a bad feeling every time she watched Ethan when Gracie was around. It was almost as if he was jealous of the young teen.

Over the next couple of days, Ethan’s jealous rages grew completely out of control. He yelled at her for trivial things, such as spending too much money on food at the grocery store. The morning she was going to tell him to move out, things between them deteriorated to an all-time low.

Ethan entered the bathroom while she was showering and ripped back the shower curtain. “What the fuck is this?” he demanded.

Standing in the shower, wet, naked, and unprepared for yet another argument, Emma felt vulnerable. She focused on allowing her suddenly accelerated heart rate to slow down.

“I don’t know what you have in your hand, Ethan,” she said calmly. “Let me get done here and then we can talk.”

“Don’t make me lose my head!” Ethan warned. “I’m holding a bill for birth control pills. Ninety fucking dollars! Are you taking them so that none of the guys you’re fucking at the bar get you pregnant?”

His expression was ugly as he shoved the bill at her. Then he pushed her face against the wall of the shower with brute force.

“Fuck you, Ethan! You know I’m on birth control. That’s what we agreed on right from the start, remember? You know what? It doesn’t matter anymore. I want you out of here!” Emma demanded.

Without a word, Ethan slammed her into the tile wall again. As Emma collapsed in the tub, nose bleeding, he yanked her up by the hair. “You’re a worthless piece of shit!” he snarled. “I don’t know what the
fuck
I see in you!
Look
at you, laying there like a wet animal!”

Then as Ethan dragged her out of the tub, her defense mechanism kicked in and she rammed her elbow into his gut.

“Get the fuck off me!” she yelled, her voice filled with malice. As he doubled over in pain, she stood before him, naked and wet. “Ethan,” she now said evenly, “I will
kill
you.”

While Ethan had no clue as to what Emma was capable of doing to him, the way she had attacked him and announced with chilling calmness that if he didn’t back off she would kill him, he suspected that she was dead serious. But he still hadn’t gotten the message that he was being thrown out. He had underestimated Emma’s unwillingness to be controlled. In deep denial of the truth, he left the apartment a few minutes later to drink beer with his friend Pete and then go buy steaks so that he could cook her a special dinner. On his way to the market he thought to himself that she was one tough bitch who needed to be tamed.

When Gracie came home from school hours later, she found Emma huddled on the sofa, drinking a cup of tea.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked. “You look sick.”

“I’m fine,” Emma lied. “I just feel a little tired.”

“Em, I know that you and Ethan aren’t getting along that good. I’ve heard him say some pretty mean things to you lately. He’s been a real dick to me too when you’re not around. I don’t understand why you’re still letting him stay here,” Gracie confided.

“I know. You’re right. I told him today that he has to move out,” she explained.

Gracie smiled with enthusiasm and hugged her sister. “Good! I was starting to worry that you were never gonna get rid of him. It’s going to be so much better without him here, like it was before he moved in with us. He’s such a dick!” she announced with great relief.

When Ethan arrived home with his special steak dinner, he found the apartment empty. Emma and Gracie had purposely gone out so that they weren’t there when he came home. Annoyed that Emma had made a fool out of him, he threw the steaks in the sink and went into their bedroom and slept. That night, to avoid another fight, Emma slept in Gracie’s room.

The next morning, after Gracie had left the apartment, she found Ethan. “Listen, Ethan. I wasn’t kidding. You need to pack your shit and get out of here…today!”

Ethan smiled at her mockingly. “Oh, I’ll move out, but I warn you that you’ll need to keep a close eye on your precious little sister. You think you’re clever, Em. But you can’t be with her every minute of every day. I will find the right time and I will crush that little pathetic bitch,” he threatened.

Emma thought about his threats, and realizing that he might be capable of hurting Gracie, she gave in and allowed him to stay, but just long enough for her to figure out how to get rid of him for good.

Ethan smiled, thinking he had finally won.

The following day Emma began contemplating how she could get rid of Ethan. She decided there were only two options: either she could leave him and hope he wouldn’t bother her again or she would have to kill him. She wouldn’t be held prisoner by him. She was now older and more resourceful and believed herself to be a true asshole for putting up with him for so long. Just imagining the various ways she could kill him made her feel powerful.

Shortly after Ethan threatened to hurt Gracie, Emma came across an article in the local newspaper. It was about a man who killed his wife by slipping antifreeze into her drinks. This was one way she could do it. Or she could use rat poison on him the way she had with Pepper. There was one problem with those two methods: his pesky mother and sister were always calling him for something. He would surely whine about feeling sick once the poison started to affect him. She needed something that would act much quicker.

Knowing she needed a more clever way to kill Ethan, she made her way out into the living room and sat on the sofa next to Gracie. Her younger sister was maturing by the minute. She looked at the teen who had turned fifteen just three months prior. Gracie looked back at her sister, and having churned for days, she finally got up the nerve to tell Emma about her problem. The timing was the best she could have hoped for as it was rare for Ethan not to be in the apartment with them. His mother had awakened him early and asked him over to her house before the rain started that day to fix a fallen gutter.