When Smiles Fade (18 page)

Jay pulled out the schedule and put his glasses on. “Let’s see…how about if we start you guys next Thursday?”

“No,” Emma said firmly, “we need the money now. Can we start on Saturday?”

Jay laughed. “No, I can’t give you Saturday until you get some experience. How about Sunday?”

“Sunday is fine,” Emma declared. Then relaxing a bit, she added, “Thanks, Jay.”

Back again in the dressing room, they walked over to Alessa, who was applying her makeup. She looked up at them with a smile. “Told you that kissing was good,” she said.

Emma gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks, Alessa,” she said gratefully. “We owe you one.”

“Now we need to try and get this makeup off our faces,” Brianna reminded her.

“There’s a shower down the hall,” Alessa told them.

“Really?” Emma asked, elated that the two of them would now have a place to shower. Things were looking up. “Um, Alessa,” she now asked, “how much money do you make here in a night?”

Alessa had started from scratch, like these two girls she had befriended. She knew they had no money.

“Well, I earn about fifteen hundred dollars a week,” she told them. “I work six to seven nights a week, depending on how Jay schedules me. I asked him for as many nights as he can give me. If the guys like you, he’ll give you what you want. That should be your goal—to make the guys like you. Once you make some money, you can buy different costumes. That way you’re always changing your get-up. They like everything from the nerdy librarian look to the total-slut look.”

Emma’s head was still reeling from the figure Alessa had quoted. One thousand five hundred dollars a
week
! She was barely able to listen to the rest of her words. She didn’t care what obstacles she had to overcome to achieve her goal; Emma was determined to make Jay love her—and Brianna. She and her friend would learn how to work the crowd, no matter what it took.

After the girls had finished talking to Alessa, they took turns showering. Two showers in one day was a dream come true for them. That night, as they drove back to Ambler, they both had reason to hope.

By the time Sunday came around, they had already spent the money they made at Double Visions on food and gas. Back at Doubles that night, they made their way downstairs to the dressing room to put on the outfits they had worn on Thursday. While they were changing, Shiver approached.

“Hi, girls,” she said. “Did you bring other outfits with you?”

“No,” Emma told her, “these are the only ones we have right now.”

Shiver felt sorry for them. “Well girls, they were good for amateur night,” she explained, “but you’re going to need to buy some other things to wear.”

Alessa had overheard the conversation and came over. “Listen,” she suggested, “I have two outfits I can share with you guys. But I can’t let you keep them, because I don’t have that many yet.”

Shiver gave Alessa an understanding look and turned to the other girls in the dressing room. “Ladies,” she announced, “we have some newcomers here and we all know how that goes. If you have any outfits you can spare for Emma and Brianna that would help them out.”

The other dancers eyed up the two girls, but most of them were already put off by Emma’s beauty, which triggered jealousy and competitiveness that worked against the two girls.

Shiver gave them a hard look. “Come on now,” she said, her tone both stern and coaxing, “I know that some of you have old costumes you don’t use anymore. Be nice. You never know when you’ll need the favor returned.”

One of the girls, Angelica, a very tall, tight, curvy brunette, walked over and handed Emma and Brianna a couple of costumes. “Here you go. These catty fucking bitches here don’t ever want to help anyone but themselves. They’re just jealous ’cause you’re hot,” she said, looking only at Emma.

“Thanks,” Emma replied gratefully.

“Besides,” Angelica said and lit a cigarette, “I figure if you bitches go out there before me, you can loosen up their pockets. Anyway, I have this ass shaking thing I do.” She turned her back to them and wiggled her firm, round ass in their direction. “That makes me all the money I need. Good luck,” she stated as she pulled a drag from her cigarette and walked back to her makeup table, bopping to the music that spilled into the dressing room from the floor above.

Angelica had given them two outfits: one, a very skimpy light-blue stewardess number that was made of spandex and had a matching cap; the other, a teeny-weeny maid outfit. Both were the type of costumes popular at adult Halloween parties with women who pretended to be prim and proper all year long before suddenly taking on the role of sexy vixens, using the pretext of Halloween to live out their secret fantasies without inviting raunchy criticism.

Brianna moved closer to Emma as they began to change into their chosen costumes. “I’m scared,” she confessed. “What if we fuck up? I feel like a total freak on display. I don’t know if I can do this, Em.”

Emma was about to talk Brianna off the cliff she was on when Shiver approached. “Emma,” she said, “you have the next set. So you need to head upstairs.”

“What about me?” Brianna asked nervously. “I’m going to dance with Emma, right?”

“No, sweetie,” Shiver told her, “that was fine for amateur night. But now that you’re here as a regular, you won’t always dance together. One of the girls here will be on the other stage when you’re out there, but it won’t always be Emma.”

Realizing Brianna’s fear was escalating to new heights, Emma pulled her aside and whispered, “Look, just chill the fuck out! It’s no big deal. Just do what you did before. We need these jobs, Bri.”

Brianna badly wanted to be as brave as Emma, but didn’t share her boldness in this situation. She knew her friend was right. They did need the money. But for the first time since they had left Chain Street, the thought occurred to Brianna that she could actually go home. Unlike Emma, she wasn’t running from anything. Pam clearly wasn’t a great mother, but she gave her daughter the freedom she needed and didn’t make her work. Brianna loved Emma and Gracie, but her nerves in this moment made her question why she had run away with them. She had thought it would be an adventure, but was realizing over time how difficult it was to live on her own. She wasn’t so sure any more about the choice she had made to leave home with her friends.

Emma could feel Brianna’s fear. “Look, Bri,” she said reassuringly, trying to talk her down from her rising panic, “it’s going to be fine. It’s just dancing, you know. It’s not like you’re selling your soul to the devil.”

Brianna didn’t respond. She only stared at Emma with watery eyes. Her heart was already racing and she was sweating profusely at the thought of stripping in front of a room full of men. Leaving Brianna panic-stricken and looking wretched in the dressing room, Emma went upstairs to dance her set

Alessa noticed and approached Brianna. “You know, it’ll be all right,” she stated soothingly, trying to make her feel at ease. “It’s a little scary at first, but it’ll get easier every time, I promise.”

Brianna’s tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. “But I thought Emma and I would be dancing together,” she mumbled. “I don’t really want to dance without her.”

Alessa tried her best to help Brianna calm down as she finished getting ready for her own set. A few minutes later, Shiver gave her the signal that it was time for her to head upstairs, leaving Brianna to manage on her own.

Emma was already on the second stage, and Alessa gave her a wide grin as she entered the bar area. Emma, having flung off her maid outfit and stripped down to her thong, continued to sway her hips, trying to swat away the feeling that she was an inferior dancer compared to Alessa.

A few minutes later, Alessa stepped off her own stage and up onto the stage where Emma was dancing. She positioned her body behind Emma’s and leaned into her, placing her hands on her hips. As she swayed to the music, her movements forced Emma to follow the same rhythm. In less than a minute, the two girls were dancing in perfect harmony. Once Alessa felt that her new friend had the groove, she went back to her own stage and finished dancing to the song on her own.

While Emma went around the bar for her tips, Alessa moved to the second stage and noticed Brianna stepping onto the empty one. Brianna stood motionless as the music began to play with her arms crossed over her chest. Before Emma could react, Alessa started to move off her stage, but stopped short. Emma followed Alessa’s fearful gaze to her sinister-looking manager, Harlin, who appeared ready to lunge at her. Alessa turned and continued to dance on her own stage, leaving Brianna on her own.

The men around the bar were all focused on Brianna now. At first, they cheered her on to dance, thinking her stage fright was an act. But when they realized she wasn’t going to dance, they started yelling for her to leave the stage. Jay stepped into the bar at that crucial moment and helped Brianna down off the stage. Emma felt sorry for her, but finished collecting her tips nevertheless before going back downstairs to find her. She dreaded what was coming next.

In the dressing room, Emma found Brianna changing back into her regular clothes. She was crying and disheveled from having run her fingers through her hair countless times to calm her nerves, which had obviously gotten the better of her.

“What happened, Bri?” Emma asked, concerned. “Are you okay? I mean, you just froze out there!”

“Look, maybe you can do this, Em, but I can’t!” Brianna retorted. “I feel like a freak. I just don’t want to do it!”

Emma knew she would not be able to talk Brianna into dancing. The deal was done. “It’s fine, Bri. Look at all the money I made for one dance!” she said, trying to infuse some hope into her friend and pushing the dollar bills toward her. “I can dance and make enough money for all three of us.”

Brianna half-heartedly agreed, but knew that she couldn’t stay in this new life they were creating. She now regretted leaving home for the first time since their adventure began. The thought continued to play in her mind that she did have a place to go back to. It didn’t seem to matter so much that her mother was a prostitute. At least Brianna didn’t have to degrade herself at home for the bare necessities of life, like having a meal or taking a shower. But she didn’t want to let Emma down either. She deeply loved her and Gracie.

She nodded and said, “Okay, Em, that’s fine. We’ll work it out.”

Emma was no stranger to lies. She knew that Brianna wouldn’t be with them much longer and began to prepare herself for what was to come. She danced two more sets that night while her friend waited in the car with Gracie. When Emma finally slipped into the front seat next to Brianna, she smiled at her.

“I made three hundred and twenty dollars tonight,” she told her. “See, we’ll figure this out, I promise.”

But Brianna had had plenty of time to reflect in solitude while she waited for Emma’s performance to end. Her mind was made up; she would wait long enough for the siblings to get a real place to live and settle in. Then she would tell Emma she was moving back with her mother.

On the other hand, Gracie was beside herself at the news. “Three hundred and twenty dollars?! Holy shit! That’s a lot of money, Em. It’s so cool. Can we stop at one of those all-night diners and get pancakes?” she rambled with enthusiasm.

“Only if Bri is willing to drive us there,” Emma bantered.

“Fuck yeah. I’ll drive anywhere if you’re buying pancakes. Good idea, Gracie,” Brianna complimented.

Over the next three weeks, Emma saved $3,800 while dancing at Doubles. She had taken on the stage name of Amme, pronounced Amy, which was her real name spelled backward. It was Alessa who had come up with the idea and Emma loved the name.

The three girls had slowly become accustomed to Ambler’s West Maple Avenue and had even formed a few friendships with some of the people who lived there. They felt at home here. One of them was a woman named Katie, whom Emma talked to every day. Katie had been beaten by her mother as a child. When she was seventeen, her stepfather had raped her and she became pregnant. Her mother had promptly thrown her six-months-pregnant daughter out on the streets claiming if her daughter wasn’t such a slut it would never have happened.

While living on the streets, Katie had met a man named Bryce. Ten years older than her, he had taken a liking to the pregnant teen. Bryce had a thing for younger girls. Katie knew he cheated on her all the time, but she didn’t care. He provided a roof over her head, which was all she really cared about. It wasn’t as if she was madly in love with him. She had initially moved in with him because she didn’t have a place to live and just never left after her daughter was born. Katie was now twenty-two years old with a five-year-old daughter that looked just like her.

A month after Emma started working at Doubles, and just a few weeks after meeting Katie, she announced to Brianna and Gracie that they were going apartment hunting. Katie had told her about an apartment for rent on Railroad Avenue. Katie knew the owner. He was the same guy that Bryce rented their apartment from. He was a slum landlord, but he didn’t ask too many questions.

The apartment turned out to be located inside a large three-story row home. Each apartment was on a separate floor. The outside of the building was covered in aged white stucco that had acquired, through years of neglect, the appearance of gray cement. They followed a cracked walkway to the rear of the house and into a small backyard that was littered with trash and a broken, rusted lawn mower. There, by the back entrance to the first-floor unit, they met the owner, a bald, stocky man who wobbled when he walked. He opened the door and told them to go in.