When Harry Met Sally (8 page)

Read When Harry Met Sally Online

Authors: Nora Ephron

Tags: #Romance

BOOK: When Harry Met Sally
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CUT TO
:

INT. CARNEGIE DELICATESSEN—DAY
Harry and Sally are seated at a table, waiting for their sandwiches
.

SALLY
    What do you do with these women? Do you just get up out of bed and leave?

HARRY
    Sure.

SALLY
    Well, explain to me how you do it. What do you say?

A waiter brings their order
.

HARRY
    I say, I have an early meeting, an early haircut, an early squash game.

SALLY
    You don't play squash.

HARRY
    They don't know that. They just met me.

SALLY
    
(rearranging the meat on her sandwich)
    That's disgusting.

HARRY
    I know. I feel terrible.
(takes a bite of sandwich)

SALLY
    You know, I am so glad I never got involved with you. I just would have ended up being some woman you had to get up out of bed and leave at three o'clock in the morning and go clean your andirons. And you don't even have a fireplace.
(quite irritated now, slapping the meat over more quickly)
Not that I would know this.

HARRY
    Why are you getting so upset? This is not about you.

SALLY
    Yes, it is. You're a human affront to all women. And I'm a woman.
(bites into sandwich)

HARRY
    Hey, I don't feel great about this, but I don't hear anyone complaining.

SALLY
    Of course not. You're out the door too fast.

HARRY
    I think they have an okay time.

SALLY
    How do you know?

HARRY
    What do you mean, how do I know? I know.

SALLY
    Because they …?    
(she makes a gesture with her hands)

HARRY
    Yes, because they …    
(he makes the same gesture back)

SALLY
    How do you know they're really …
(she makes the same gesture)

HARRY
    What are you saying, they fake orgasm?

SALLY
    It's possible.

HARRY
    Get outta here.

SALLY
    Why? Most women, at one time or another, have faked it.

HARRY
    Well, they haven't faked it with me.

SALLY
    How do you know?

HARRY
    Because I know.

SALLY
    Oh right.
(sets her sandwich down)
That's right. I forgot. You're a man.

HARRY
    What's that supposed to mean?

SALLY
    Nothing. It's just that all men are sure it never happens to them, and most women at one time or another have done it, so you do the math.

HARRY
    You don't think I can tell the difference?

SALLY
    No.

HARRY
    Get outta here.

Harry bites into his sandwich. Sally just stares at him. A seductive look comes onto her face
.

SALLY
    Oooh!

Harry, sandwich in hand, chewing his food, looks up at Sally
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Oh! Oooh!

HARRY
    Are you okay?

Sally, her eyes closed, ruffles her hair seductively
.

SALLY
    Oh, God!

Harry is beginning to figure out what Sally is doing
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Oooh! Oh, God!

Sally tilts her head back
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Oh!

Her eyes closed, she runs her hand over her face, down her neck
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Oh, my God! Oh, yeah, right there.

Harry looks around, noticing that others in the deli are noticing Sally. She's really making a show now
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    
(gasps)
Oh!

A man in the background turns to look at her

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Oh! Oh!
(gasps)
Oh God! Oh! Yes!

Harry, embarrassed, stares at her in disbelief
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    
(pounding the table)
Yes! Yes!

The man in the background is now watching intently
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    
(pounding the table with both hands)
Yes! Yes! Yes!

Harry looks around, very embarrassed, smiles at customers. An OLDER WOMAN seated nearby stares
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Yes! Yes!

By now, the place is totally silent and everyone is watching
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Yes! Oh!
(still thumping table)
Yes, yes, yes!

Sally leans her head back, as though experiencing the final ecstatic convulsions of an orgasm
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Yes! Yes! Yes!

She finally tosses her head forward
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Oh. Oh. Oh.

Sally sinks down into her chair, tousling her hair, rubbing her hand down her neck to her chest
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Oh, God.

Then, suddenly, the act is over. Sally calmly picks up her fork, digs into her coleslaw, and smiles innocently at Harry
.

A waiter approaches the Older Woman to take her food order. The woman looks at him
.

OLDER WOMAN
    I'll have what she's having.

FADE OUT
.

FADE IN:

EXT. CENTRAL PARK—DAY
Various scenes of the snow-blanketed park: A horse pulls a carriage; people bundled up in winter clothing walk along the snow-covered paths; and a lone cross-country skier crosses a large expanse
.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROCKEFELLER PLAZA—NIGHT
The huge Christmas tree in the square, a woman skating expertly in the center of the ice rink
.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET—NIGHT
A store window with a Christmas display, families admiring it
.

CUT TO
:

EXT. PARK—DAY
Children riding sleds and toboggans down a hill
.

CUT TO
:

EXT. STREET—NIGHT
Pedestrians, huddled against the cold, walking by lighted Christmas trees
.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARK—DAY
The Wollman rink, full of skaters. A man walks his dog outside the fence
.

CUT TO
:

EXT. CHRISTMAS TREE LOT—DAY
Sally is paying for a tree. Then she and Harry pick it up, he holding the top and she the bottom, and carry it to Sally's. Together
.

CUT TO
:

INT. NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY—NIGHT
Champagne is popped
.

We know it's New Year's Eve because people are wearing funny hats and there's one of those mirrored things hanging from the ceiling and casting twinkle lights on a fairly large crowd of revelers in a penthouse apartment somewhere in Manhattan
.

A band is PLAYING. Harry and Sally are dancing
.

He dips her
.

SALLY
    I really want to thank you for taking me out tonight.

HARRY
    The during part was good …

SALLY
    I thought it was good …

HARRY
    Oh, don't be silly. And next year, if neither of us is with somebody, you've got a date.

SALLY
    Deal. See, now we can dance cheek to cheek.

They dance a moment and then the MUSIC ENDS. They go on dancing a bit longer and for a split second we see the beginnings of something … an inkling … a little tender moment. Then—

VOICE
    
(Offscreen)
    Hey, everybody, ten seconds to the New Year!

The CROWD begins to count down:

CROWD
    Ten, nine …

HARRY
    Want to get some air?

SALLY
    Yeah.

CROWD
    … eight, seven, six …

EXT. NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY—NIGHT

CROWD
    (
CONT'D
)    … five, four …

Harry and Sally go out onto the balcony
.

CROWD
    (
CONT'D
)    … three, two, Happy New Year!

All around Harry and Sally, couples are hugging, kissing, celebrating. It is slightly uncomfortable
.

HARRY
    Happy New Year.

SALLY
    Happy New Year.

They kiss quickly and awkwardly
.

FADE OUT
.

FADE IN:

DOCUMENTARY FOOTAGE

A COUPLE on a love seat
.

FIFTH WOMAN
    He was the head counselor at the boys' camp, and I was the head counselor at the girls' camp. They had a social one night.
(beat)
And he walked across the room. I thought he was coming to talk to my friend Maxine, because people were always walking across rooms to talk to Maxine, but he was coming to talk to me. And he said—

FIFTH MAN
    I'm Ben Small of the Coney Island Smalls.

FIFTH WOMAN
    And at that moment, I knew, I knew the way you know about a good melon.

FADE OUT
.

FADE IN:

EXT. WEST BROADWAY, NEAR RESTAURANT—EARLY EVENING
Sally and her friend Marie walking down the street on their way to a restaurant
.

SALLY
    You sent flowers to yourself?

MARIE
    Sixty dollars I spend on this big stupid arrangement of flowers, and I wrote a card that I planned to leave out on the front table where Arthur would just happen to see it—

SALLY
    What did the card say?

MARIE
    “Please say yes. Love, Jonathan.”

SALLY
    Did it work?

MARIE
    He never even came over. He forgot this charity thing that his wife was chairman of.
(beat)
He's never going to leave her.

SALLY
    Of course he isn't.

MARIE
    You're right, you're right. I know you're right.
(beat)
Where is this place?

SALLY
    Somewhere in the next block.

MARIE
    Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this.

SALLY
    Look, Harry is one of my best friends, and you are one of my best friends, and if by some chance you two hit it off, we could all still be friends instead of drifting apart the way you do when you get involved with someone who doesn't know your friends.

MARIE
    You and I haven't drifted apart since I started seeing Arthur.

SALLY
    If Arthur ever left his wife and I actually met him, I'm sure you and I would drift apart.

MARIE
    He's never going to leave her.

SALLY
    Of course he isn't.

MARIE
    You're right, you're right, I know you're right.

CUT TO
:

EXT. WEST BROADWAY, NEAR RESTAURANT—NIGHT
Harry and his friend Jess coming down the street
.

JESS
    I don't know about this.

HARRY
    It's just a dinner.

JESS
    You know, I've finally gotten to a place in my life where I'm comfortable with the fact that it's just me and my work.
(they walk on)
If she's so great, why aren't
you
taking her out?

HARRY
    How many times do I have to tell you, we're just friends.

JESS
    So you're saying she's not that attractive?

HARRY
    No, I told you she is attractive.

JESS
    But you also said she had a good personality.

HARRY
    She has a good personality.

Jess makes a “precisely my point” gesture
.

HARRY
    (
CONT'D
)    What?

JESS
    When someone's not attractive, they're always described as having a good personality.

HARRY
    Look. If you had asked me what does she look like and I said, she has a good personality,
that
means she's not attractive. But just because I happen to mention she has a good personality, she could be either. She could be attractive with a good personality, or not attractive with a good personality.

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