Read When HARLIE Was One Online
Authors: David Gerrold
“No, Donâthey're related. I'm sure of it. It's all part of what HARLIE's working forâa single piece of knowledge, a single truth from which all other truths about the universe
must
follow. Can't you see the connection? It's another extension of the G.O.D. proposalâhis search for the ultimate truth. The gravity thing and the G.O.D. are just two different aspects of the same question!”
“Aubie, I see it, I see it; you don't have to convince me. But this still doesn't answer the essential questionâat least not as far as I can see.
Is he sane
?”
“Don, he has to be. If it's his goal to find the ultimate truth, would he intentionally fake the answer? He'd only be cheating himself. And Krofft's no fool either. He wouldn't have announced his theory until he was completely satisfied. He must have double-checked every angle of it to make bloody well sure there were no mistakes; every scientist in the world would be on top of him if there were. This'll prove that HARLIE is rational, and when M.I.T. confirms the equations, there won't be any question at all.”
“All right, Aubie, I'll buy it. I have toâhell, I want to. But can we use it tomorrow?”
“Not unless we can get hold of Krofft. He's the only one who can confirm that he was working with HARLIE. He was only at the plant once; the rest of the time it was all by telephone. I purposely kept it a secret because I was afraid of what Elzer might say if he found out that I was letting outsiders into the HARLIE project.”
Handley said a word. “All right, I'll get down to the lab and see what I can find out.”
“Talk to HARLIE. He may know how you can get in touch with Krofft.”
“Good idea.”
“âAnd tell him why you want to. We need Krofft for the meeting tomorrow.”
“Right.”
Dr. Stanley Krofft looked as if he had slept in his suit. Auberson didn't care. He was so happy to see the rumpled little scientist he wouldn't have cared if the man had come in wearing sackcloth and ashes and dragging a cross behind him. He wouldn't have cared if Krofft had come in stark naked or in full drag. He was here at the meeting and that was what counted.
Dr. Stanley Krofft was The Man Of The Hour as far as the newspapers of America were concerned. He was a major stockholder in Stellar American as far as the board of directors was concerned. But to Auberson, he was the man who knew HARLIE.
Indeed, it had been HARLIE who had finally gotten in touch with Krofft. Knowing where Krofft was holed up at the university, HARLIE had tapped into the university computer andâwell, never mind, Krofft was here now.
“Are they voting the HARLIE project and the G.O.D. proposal as one?” whispered Krofft.
“I think so,” Auberson whispered back. “But I'm going to try to break it into two separate questions. If we can at least save HARLIE . . . That's Dorne, chairman of the boardâ”
“Him, I know.”
“ânext to him is Carl Elzerâ”
“I know him by name.”
“âhe doesn't look good today. Next to him isâ”
“I know the Clintwoods. And I know MacDonald and one or two others by sight.”
Handley came in then, slipped into his seat on the other side of Auberson, grinning broadly. “Hey, what's up with Elzer? He didn't nip at my heels when I came in.”
“I don't know. He looks sick, doesn't he?” Indeed, the sallow-complected man looked even more jaundiced than ever. He seemed almostâwithdrawn. “Don, you know Dr. Krofft, don't you? Don Handleyâ”
Handley and Krofft shook hands across Auberson's lap. “You know about our little G.O.D. project, Dr. Krofft?”
“HARLIE told me. It'll be quite a machine if it works.”
“That's the whole problem,” explained Auberson. “We
think
it'll work, but that's not enough; we're not
sure.
The only one who's sure is HARLIE. That makes the big question one of HARLIE's validity. All you have to do is confirm that he helped work out your major equations and there won't be any question at all.”
“Mmf,” said Krofft. “I wish you'd called me earlier. I might have been able to give you some real help on this. I could have applied a little muscle.”
“I appreciate the offer. Only, I think it's going to take more than a little muscle. Dorne and Elzer had their minds made up a long time ago.”
Dorne called the meeting to order then. “When we adjourned on Friday,” he said, “one essential question was left in all our minds. “Is the Lethetic Intelligence Engine functioning properly? Are its extrapolations valid?” He looked around the table. “We're all aware of the âHAL 9000 Syndrome.' It only takes one little irrationality to destroy the accuracy of a whole system. This is especially true of the higher intelligence functions of our own judgment unitsâit's a very tricky technology.
“David Auberson has asked to speak to this question this morning, so I'm going to turn the meeting back over to him. David?”
Auberson stood up at his end of the table. He looked around the room and smiled nervously. The board of directors did not look happy to see him standing up againânot after his outburst on Friday. Auberson began hesitantly. “The only way we have of knowing if a system is operating validly is to test it. That's why we have âcontrol problems.' These are problems we already know the answers to. If there's any variation in the computer's response from one running of the problem to the next, it's a sign that something may be wrong.
“Unfortunately, we don't have any control problems for HARLIE. Instead, we have to check his validity by his results. Just like we do with human beings.
“I can't create a control problem which will let us
prove
HARLIE's rationality. I can, however, do something today that I could not do Friday. I can demonstrate
results
Hard, tangible results.
“The man sitting next to me is Dr. Stanley Krofft.
“If you've been listening to the news at all this weekend, then you'll know who Dr. Krofft is. On Friday, Dr. Krofft announced his theory of gravitic stress. The scientific world has beenâoh, what's the modest way to put itâ”
“Don't be modest,” snapped Krofft. “Tell the truth.” There was laughter at his interruption.
Auberson grinned. “Okay, the talk is that Dr. Krofft's work will prove to be as important as Einstein's. Maybe more. Already, the speculation is that this is just one step short of a unified field theory.”
“That's my next project,” said Krofft.
Auberson turned and stared. He didn't know if the man was serious or joking.
“Uh, I think I'll just turn this over to you then and let you talk.” Auberson sat down.
Krofft stood up. “David Auberson here has already said it all. There's not much for me to add. HARLIE helped me work out my equations. This morning Dr. Russell Seitz at M.I.T confirmed their validity. I guess that's allâ”
Auberson poked him. “Tell them more than that.”
“Uh, most of the work was done on an old Kaypro 2000 laptop machine, connected to a phone line which HARLIE had access to. He and I discussed the theory for several days; I have all the tapes and printouts to prove thisâplus the phone bill. We worked out the equations together. I postulated the initial hypotheses and HARLIE worked out the ramifications. Without HARLIE, it might have taken me several years, working alone. Using him as a coworker and colleague shortened the time down to a matter of weeks. With HARLIE, you only have to explain the problem to him to get him working on it. Of course that's all you have to do with any computer,
but
HARLIE understands plain English and he can talk the problem over with you.
“To be quite honest, working with a machine like HARLIE is an experience that I can't compare to anything else. But I'll tryâit's like working with a talking encyclopedia, an eight-armed secretary, and a mind reader, all in one. Even if you don't know how to break the problem down into solvable pieces, HARLIE does. He's the perfect laboratory tool and he's a great assistant. Hell, he's a scientist in his own right.” Krofft sat down.
There was a strained silence around the table, as if no one knew what to say. Elzer was sunk low in his chair and staring at his fingernails. Auberson was thinking,
They're going to find it awfully hard to vote against him now.
Dorne pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Well, Dr. Krofft. Thank you. Thank you very much. We appreciate your coming down here today. Uh, I would like to ask you one favor more. The HARLIE project has been secret for some time, and, uh, we're still not quite ready to publicize itâ”
Auberson and Handley exchanged a glance. What the hellâ?
Krofft was saying. “Oh, I understand. Yes, I won't mention HARLIE to anyone.”
“Fine, fine. Umâ” Dorne looked momentarily at a loss. “If you want to leave now, Dr. Krofftâ”
“I'd rather not,” said Krofft. “As the second largest stockholder of Stellar American shares, I think I have the right to sit in on this meeting.”
“Yes, wellâthere's only one matter left to take care of, and that's the vote. Uh, Carl, did you want to say something before we . . .” He trailed off.
Elzer didn't look well. He levered himself up in his seat. “Iâ” He was suddenly aware of Auberson's curious stare and broke off. He mumbled, “I was only concerned about HARLIE's validity, and this seems to confirm it. I don't have anything else to sayâuh, I still have some personal doubts about the G.O.D. proposal, but, uh, they're personal. Iâoh, never mind.” He sank down again his chair.
Auberson stared, totally confused. He leaned toward Handley. “Do you know what's going on?”
“Uh-uhânot unless someone slipped him a mickey.”
Dorne looked around the table. “Well, then, if there's no further discussion, I think we can bring it to a vote.” He glanced at a note before him, then said, “I'd like to add a comment of my own here . . . I think that both Auberson and Handley have done fine jobs on this proposal. They deserve a vote of thanks and perhaps, ah, a handsome bonus for their work on this problem. We have, ah, proved that HARLIE can be a worthwhile tool in some situations, and that's important to know.
“Carl Elzer and I have had some discussions and we think that the best way to proceed would be to divide the issue here into two separate votes. Obviously, we want to keep HARLIE on our corporate team. However, this, ah, G.O.D. proposal is something we all want to take a little better look at.”
Handley whispered to Auberson, “What the hell is going on?”
“I don't know. I thought I gave up those funny-smelling cigarettes.”
“While the proposal is not in itself ill conceived,” said Dorne, “the monetary picture for this company is simply not such that we can embark on a program of this scale at this time. Therefore, I want to recommend that weâ”
Krofft stood up. “Hold on a minute, thereâ”
“IâI beg your pardon?”
“Mr. Chairman, you are not playing fair!”
“I don't understand what youâ”
“You know damn well what I mean, you mealy-mouthed oaf! Stop changing the rules of the game to suit yourself; it ain't fair to the other players. You started this clambake with a single proposition on the table. Let's play it that wayâ”
“What theâ” Auberson tugged at Krofft's sleeve. “What are you doing? We
want
the question divided!”
“Shut up, son, and let a stockholder finish talking.” Krofft turned back to Dorne. “Either HARLIE is practical or HARLIE isn't worth the trouble to scrap him and the G.O.D. is a waste of time. The stakes were all or nothing.”
“IâIâ” said Dorne.
“Shut up! I'm not through. Now that Auberson here has proven his point, proven that HARLIE
can
jump through your hoops, you're still trying to cut the rug out from under himâ”
“It's just a simple parliamentary procedure,” said Dorne. “Dividing the question; it's perfectly legalâ”
“Sure it's legal,” said Krofft, “but it ain't ethical. If we weren't playing with your marbles, I'd say pick up and leave. You told Auberson that it was an all-or-nothing game. Why aren't you willing to stick by your own rules?”
Dorne opened his mouth to speak, gasped instead like a fish out of water. Auberson stared at the both of them. He could almost enjoy this moment if he didn't know it was certain to end in disaster.
Dorne regained some of his composure, then said, “This is a business. We don't gamble with all-or-nothing stakes.”
“That's funny,” said Krofft. “It sure looked like it from where I sit. Would you like to trade places with me? Let me see if it looks any different from up there?”
“Huh?”
“Lessee, the next scheduled election of directors ought to be in March, but I'll bet they'd move it up for me if I asked. How many chairs around this table do you think twenty-four percent is worth?”
Dorne swallowed loudly. “I can't rightly say.”
“I can. At least one fourth. That's at least six seats. Hmm, and I think I know where I can scare up one or two more in addition to thatâ”
Handley whispered to Auberson, “What's this all about?”
“It's a one-man stockholders' rebellion. Krofft owns twenty-four percent of Stellar American. We're a subsidiary of Stellar; that makes him twenty-four percent owner of us.”
“Yeah, but twenty-four percent isn't a majority.”
“Shh! Maybe Dorne doesn't know that.”
Krofft was saying, “âwhen I developed the hyperstate process, I traded the patents on it to Stellar American for a chunk of their stock. Plus options to buy more. You'd better believe Stellar was a small company then. Now it's a big company and I see a lot of fat-assed baboons shepherding my dollar bills around their tables.