Read When Hari Met His Saali Online
Authors: Harsh Warrdhan
‘Fine then. Your car is going to be here,’ she said, reversing the car and flooring it.
As the car speeded away, Hari realized that this was not what he had anticipated. His car, in which he had driven to the hotel, was still at the parking lot. Soon they were on the Pacific Coast Highway, the beautiful National Highway #1 that snakes from Southern California to Northern California with the magnificent Pacific Ocean on one side and the majestic mountains on the other. Hari was fucked again, but to come out ahead from this situation he had to at least get his apology over and done with.
‘OK, OK my bad. Sorry I said those mean things to you the other night. You know I didn’t mean it,’ he blurted out.
‘Hari, what had gotten into you, the way you talked to me?’ Tia said without any emotion.
‘I am stressed,
yaar.
This is just an engagement and you are making it into such a big project,’ he said, immediately realizing it was not what he should have said.
‘OK, OK, I promise. All the wedding preparations are on me. I’ll do them single-handedly. You won’t have to do a thing. You will be like a guest at your own wedding.’ Hari paused. ‘OK, maybe that didn’t come out right. Chill babes. It’s just an engagement,’ Hari’s apology was finding traction in a weird way.
‘You are joking, right? There are ten days left until the engagement and
the wedding is a month after that. The wedding arrangements have already started!’ Tia was astonished and said it in a tone that meant ‘How could you not know that?’
What Hari said next was difficult for Tia to believe. Was he joking or not?
‘What? The Iraq war was not planned as diligently as our wedding. Who authorized this? When? Where? How and Why?’
There was absolutely no humor to it, although when Hari had run it in his head it had sounded funny.
‘OK, Hari, I think we know that everything is a joke to you. I am angry with myself because it took me a long time to see that,’ Tia said, maintaining a tight leash on the argument.
Hari was counting days on his fingers. The notification
dings
on his iPad kept embarrassing him.
‘Time flies when you’re getting married. Shit. Shit, we’re getting married in a month. Holy shit!’
‘Shit is right, Hari. You want to call it off?’
He had to throw in something emotional … and fast.
‘They should just abolish this engagement thing. It’s just a sham.’
Tia sped up the car to show her disapproval. In his zest to not let her anger and disapproval gain speed he started speaking in Hindi.
‘I mean
shaadi
is enough,
na
.
Ab
shadi karne jaa rahe hai, karne wale hai, pakki ho gayi hai, ladke ko ladki aur ladki ko ladka pasand aa gaya hai ye bhi duniya ko batane ke liye ek alag se
function
rakho, kharcha karo
, cake,
khana khilao. Purana nahi ho gaya ye
tradition?’
That sentence took him a whole minute to complete. But he sounded so sweet and innocent in his American accented Hindi that Tia couldn’t help but smile.
What he was asking was why wasn’t marriage enough? Now that we are going to get married, that we have decided, that the boy likes the girl and the girl likes the boy, why does all this also needs to be announced? And in order to announce such things, one needs to organize a separate event like engagement, invite all the guests, whom they’ll have to invite again for the actual wedding? Feed them cake and a feast? This engagement tradition is old and defunct and it should be abolished, no?
But Tia didn’t want his charm to deviate her from anger. She had a huge speech/lecture bubbling inside of her that she did not want to go to waste. So she speeded up and just missed hitting an oncoming car.
Hari shut up. He knew when to shut his trap … sometimes.
There was an awkward silence.
She’s still angry.
‘Hey, Tia, you know I love you right? Why so much stress?’ he asked, finally becoming serious.
This was her opening.
‘Ha, you have never had stress in your life, Hari! You are handicapped that way. Everyone expects you to just waltz in on things, on people, situations and at celebrations, while everyone expects me to take care of all the arrangements. All you have to do is show up!’ Tia was speaking straight, as was her car. She was back in control.
‘No one’s forcing you to do this engagement thing in such an elaborate way, Tia. It is you who want it that way,’ Hari said, stating the truth. And it was.
‘Yes, I want to. Yes, it was my decision to make it elaborate and you know why I want it so, because I want to build memories, Hari. I want to build memories with you. I want every milestone of our life to be memorable. When we slow down in our twilight years and look back I want to see a life strewn with sweetness and happiness and … and …’ Tia was crying, still determined, but crying. And driving.
Hari was touched by her outpouring and was getting emotional himself. But he did not interrupt her.
‘… and with love, and commitment, and fulfillment of a life spent together purposefully and deliberately. I want all those things, Hari. I have always wanted all those things in my life. My work and my life — I want both of them to be exemplary. It may sound clichéd and bookish to you, but I believe I can achieve all that. And there’s no shame in saying so, especially to someone whom you love and want to spend your life with.’
Tia took a deep breath.
Surprisingly, Hari’s eyes were moist. Leave aside their different takes on things, he should respect someone like Tia who embraced life the way she did; he should support someone who wanted so much from her life like Tia did, and Hari knew that this was no bookish talk, if anyone was capable of achieving all that it was Tia. And there was no more deserving person than Tia.
‘Now the question is, Hari, do you want to be a part of such a life?’ As Tia said it she swerved her car to the shoulder of the highway and stopped.
They sat in the car for a moment, not looking at each other.
Finally Hari turned to her.
‘Do you? Do you want me to be part of such a wonderful life?’
She wiped her tears and nodded, still not looking at him.
Hari got out of the car, walked around it and tapped on the driver’s window.
‘Step out for a minute?’ he asked her. Tia stepped out, unsure what was in store for her.
Hari took her hand and led her to the cliff. The beautiful ocean was below them. It was bathed in the golden light of the setting sun. This was a designated sunset viewing point popular with young couples. Right now there was no one there except Hari and Tia. Hari signaled her to be quiet when she was about to ask what they were doing there. They sat down and he put his arms around her, looking out at the serene view. Tia saw some kind of remorse and a determination on Hari’s face.
On her worst days, all she wanted was to lay her head on Hari’s shoulders. So she quietly did just that and closed her eyes.
‘I am so sorry, Tia,’ Hari said a few moments later. ‘I know how much it hurt you when I said all those mean things. I am sorry.’
She squeezed his hand as if to say ‘It’s OK’.
‘Remember that whenever you used to get mad at me, I used to bring you to watch a sunset,’ Hari said softely. ‘It’s my fault that lately we haven’t seen any sunsets!’
‘Shhhh… .’ Tia wanted Hari to stop talking.
And he did.
Together they watched the setting sun. They were the perfect picture of a couple in love.
‘I know you want me to shut up but I just wanted to tell you one thing,’ Hari whispered. ‘I love you, Tia. We are going to grow old watching sunsets together. At first just you and me, and then, you, me, and our cupcakes!’
Her heart melted right away and she craned her neck to kiss him.
‘See, I
was
paying attention back there at Minto’s,’ he smiled as he kissed her back.
As the sun disappeared into the horizon the moment was perfect. But of course Hari had to spoil it. It was in his DNA!
He looked at his watch.
‘Um, Tia, sweetheart, honeybunny. I gotta get going. Now don’t be mad, OK? But, but … tonight Chitthi and some friends have organized a … um … a bachelor party of sorts for me … and … and …’
Tia was jolted out of her bliss. She looked at him.
‘You are a jerk! It’s not your fault, Hari, it’s in your personality.’ Tia got up. Hari sprang to his feet as well.
She had started walking to her car. He followed, unsure.
‘
Arrey
, we can look at the sunset for a couple more minutes! Tia, Tia … I was actually asking you if I should go to the party?’ Hari was fumbling with his words.
‘I won’t go,’ he continued. ‘It’s not important. It was decided that night at Chitthi’s place, but we were all … umm … drunk. I had forgotten all about it but Chitthi told me that he had already booked … booked the … uhm … girls and had already paid them in advance.’
Hari was struggling now.
Tia was already in the car.
‘Get in the car. I’ll drop you home,’ she said sharply.
Hari got into the car. He couldn’t tell whether she was just pissed at him, or if she was super-pissed at him.
‘Tia, darling, if you don’t want me to go, I won’t, OK? As it is I have sworn off drinking, so I’ll be sober …’ More fishing to see which way she would sway.
‘Where’s the bachelor party?’ she asked, looking carefully ahead out of the windscreen.
‘It’s at Chitthi’s place,’ Hari said eagerly.
‘Why do you need a bachelor party before an engagement?’
‘I don’t need it. Why would I need it, but you know my … I mean our friends. They just need an occasion,’ Hari said innocently.
‘Why do you men enjoy leering at half-naked white girls, whose bodies are artificially pumped up with silicone, while drinking like pigs?’ Tia asked, because she really didn’t understand men.
Tia, that is the point of a bachelor party.
‘Just innocent fun, Tia,’ is what Hari actually said. ‘Nothing, nothing happens with the girls you know right?’
It made him uncomfortable to see Tia slow down, still looking out of the windshield.
‘What are you looking for?’ he asked her.
‘A deserted spot,’ she said.
‘Why?’ he asked.
Screech!
Tia braked abruptly and stopped the car.
‘Please step out of the car, Hari,’ Tia said, leaning over him and opening his door.
‘Now now, Tia let’s not get …’ Hari said feebly.
‘I know you want to go to your stupid bachelor party and I also know that you are going to drink there. I am not mad at you, Hari, but for the score
to be leveled you’ll have to get out of here and find a ride to Chitthi’s place. That’s your punishment for being an asshole,’ Tia smiled.
‘So, if I get out … here … now, we are even … then? Wait, don’t answer that! This is a test right? This is a trick?’ Hari was thoroughly confused.
‘No, it’s not a test. I just remembered that I have to go to the florist, to the candle designer, to see the DJ and
then
I have to go to the airport to pick up my sister, Simi, who I haven’t seen for years! And all you have to do is go home, change your clothes and go to the party.’
Tia didn’t look pissed, at least to Hari. He already had one leg out of the car. But this was a tough decision — no matter what, she was going to judge him. He thought it would look very selfish if he decided to step out and risk waiting at a deserted spot just so he could go to a bachelor party.
He shouldn’t step out. He had just mended things with Tia and he definitely should not step …
… then he stepped out.
‘You’re not mad then, huh? Cool?’ he said laughingly trying to sound pally. But by the time he finished asking, Tia had shut the door, put the car into gear and had stormed away.
‘Oh shit, oh shit!’
In the car Tia was smiling. She was not really mad and she had dropped Hari off about one hundred yards away from where he could easily get a cab. You see, after all her contrived talk with Mary the previous day, Tia had walked out of the Galhotra house feeling very confused. The talk had not at all gone the way she had planned.
Afterwards, she had sat in her car crying and had decided that she didn’t want to be the person who talked to Mary the way she had talked to her. She had even shuddered when she went over the talk in her head. She felt ashamed and believed that she was a better person than the one she had been lately. She was very fond of Mary and appreciated that she was treated like her own daughter. She had decided to listen to Mary’s advice.
Let go of such incidents — there will be more, different ones. Learn to let go of them and look at the next day as a new day. That is the key to making relationships work.
She had gone to Mary first thing that morning and had apologized. It was Mary who, while hugging her, had told her to torment Hari a little.
‘He’ll still not learn right away, but your case will become stronger,’ is what she had said.
Cindy had already told Tia about the bachelor party and had assured her that she was going to be at the party and that she would make sure that the boys behaved. Tia knew that Cindy could wrestle any of the Indian men at
the party and that made her feel secure. She even felt cool, thinking that she would be able to tell her friends that she was OK with her man enjoying strippers!
Order was restored in the universe of Tia. She was peppy and happy as her car sped towards the Los Angeles International Airport. She arrived way too early and sat in her car in the parking lot. Tia liked sitting in her car with the windows rolled up. It was quiet and allowed her to think.
She needed to think. She was nervous. She was nervous about her little sister coming to see her, coming to Los Angeles, coming into her life. She shouldn’t have been nervous. Simi was not a stranger; she was her own little sister. She was not a
parayi.
But as Tia moved the rearview mirror so that she could see her face in it, she noticed beads of sweat on her forehead.
She had to acknowledge that she was nervous because she had fought so hard to be in America and she wanted Simi to be impressed by where she was in her life, by what she had accomplished, and with how happy she was. It’s no fun coming so far in life if nobody else admires it. Especially the people with whom she had fought with to leave for America in the first place. At the time Tia did not realize it, but she wouldtry to impress her mother through Simi.