When Happily Ever After Ends (13 page)

“What did you tell your grandmother?” Zack asked as he led Shannon across the street toward the parking garage.

“Just that I was feeling a little sick to my stomach and that I wanted to go home.” She didn’t tell Zack that her grandmother had wanted to have one of the doctors attending the ball look her over. Grandmother had finally agreed to let her leave when Shannon had insisted that her problem was emotional and not physical. On her way out the door, Shannon had made an excuse to Heather, who looked to be having fun with Wade Nelson.

When Shannon reached Zack’s motorcycle, she strapped on the helmet he handed her, hiked up her dress, and straddled the machine. “Hang on,” he said. She slipped her arms around his waist and as the bike gathered speed, she tightened her grip. His body felt warm and solid against hers as they drove up the mountain. When they neared the stables, he cut the engine. The sudden stillness left a ringing in her ears.

Light from the moon was so bright that she didn’t have to turn on the barn lights. Black whinnied
softly, nuzzled her neck, and nibbled playfully at her tousled hair. “Take Pippin,” she told Zack as she slipped a bit into Black’s mouth.

“Don’t you want to change your dress?” Zack asked.

She kicked off her heels and shimmied up on the horse’s sleek bare back. “I don’t care about the dress. Let’s go.”

“Which way?” Zack had shed his jacket, tie, shoes, and socks. His bare feet hung below Pippin’s round belly.

“Across that pasture.” She pointed toward a wide-open field bathed in moonlight. Once in the field, she didn’t wait for Zack, but dug her heels hard into Black’s side and felt him bolt forward. They crossed the field at a canter, the breeze ruffling her hair and blurring the sounds of Black’s hooves thudding the earth.

Shannon breathed deeply. She willed the wind to blow away the false glitter of the ball. Unexpectedly the phantom of her father again marched through her thoughts. She saw him as she remembered him best, smiling and happy. Not morose, dejected, and tormented as he’d been during his final weeks.

She saw his hands, strong and sure, playing along a horse’s withers and down its legs, searching for mars and blemishes. She saw his face, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners from too much exposure to wind and sun. She heard his voice, telling
her stories about horses, and jokes that made her giggle even when she tried not to.

She began to think that she was the only person in the universe who had known him in his childlike, unguarded moments. How was it possible for the world to keep on turning without him? How could his friends have forgotten him so quickly? Her throat ached from holding in her tears. The earlier thrill of riding in the moonlight with Zack faded. She felt alone. Cut off forever from her daddy.

At the far end of the field, Shannon saw a split-rail fence that marked the edge of their property on the side of the mountain. She urged her horse toward it.

“Shannon!” she heard Zack call from behind her. She didn’t stop, but hurtled headlong for the barrier.

Blackwatch took the fence in a perfect leap, his forelegs lifted high, his hindquarters well above the wooden rail. When he landed on the other side, Shannon reigned him in and dismounted.

“Hey, wait for me,” Zack called from the other side of the fence. Shannon watched him dismount, loop Pippin’s reins over the railing, and climb through the rails.

“Did you see Black take that jump?” she asked. “It was
perfect
. That’s the way it should have been at the Knoxville meet.”

“I saw it all right. For a minute, it looked like you were going to grow wings. Where the heck are we anyway?” Zack came alongside of her. “Whoa!

Looks like the edge of the world.” He leaned out and peered downward. He whistled, awestruck, then told her, “Shannon, it’s got to be a thousand feet straight down.”

They stood on a smooth granite ledge, a giant rock that jutted off the top of the mountain. A half-mile below lay the city of Chattanooga, sparkling with lights, sprinkled like diamonds over black velvet. Zack stepped closer to her. “You could have gone right off the edge,” he said, sounding alarmed.

“I knew how much distance I had,” she insisted.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and continued to gaze out over the valley below. “I’ve never seen this view from the mountain before.”

“The Tennessee River’s that way,” she told him, pointing. “In the sunlight, it looks like a silver ribbon. Did you know that on a clear day you can see all the way to the Smokey Mountains?”

“We’ll have to come back in the daylight so you can show me.”

“My dad and I used to come up here,” Shannon said wistfully. “We’d sit and look out over the valley and talk for hours. Mom would pack us a picnic lunch. I always wanted peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Dad loved Oreos. He would separate the cookies and give me the side with the frosting.”

Zack brushed wisps of her windblown hair away from her face. “If I had an Oreo, I’d give you the frosting side too.”

“My father used to tell me about a winged horse
who could fly all the way to the moon. He first told me the story while we were standing right here.”

“So that’s where you and Black were going—to the moon?”

“I thought about it.” She sighed. “When I was little, I used to wish I was a bird, then I could fly all by myself. Daddy told me that riding a horse was as close as a person could get to being an animal. ‘A horse and his rider become one—a new creature,’ he always said. One time he and I spent a whole afternoon trying to figure out a name for such a beast.”

“Maybe that’s why you like jumping your horse so much—it feels like flying.”

“Maybe.” Shannon turned her face skyward and gazed longingly at the round, bright, shimmering moon. She thought back to the day when she and Zack had ridden together after the summer rain. How simple and wonderful her life had seemed that day! “Nothing worked out this summer the way I thought it would, Zack. Everything went wrong.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“I miss my father so much. I can’t begin to tell you what it feels like knowing I’ll never see him again.”

“What about all the plans you told me about? Don’t you still want those things?”

“What plans?”

“College, riding on the equestrian team, and maybe qualifying for the Olympics.”

Hearing him list her dreams filled her with sorrow. How long had it been since she’d thought about
such things? It seemed like forever. She wasn’t convinced she wanted them anymore. She wasn’t sure she could attain them by herself. She kicked at a loose pebble and heard it drop over the side. “Tonight, at the ball, when I looked around and saw people together, laughing and having fun, it made me feel even more alone than ever. Now there’s just me and Mom. Heather is always complaining about her family, but there she was tonight with
two
parents. When I saw her dancing with her father, I got sick with envy.”

“You were jealous of Heather? You’re kidding.”

“Don’t you see? I’ll never dance with my father.” Shannon’s voice caught and tears swam in her eyes.

Zack touched her shoulder gently. His hand felt warm on her bare skin. “Look, I’m not your father, but I’d like to dance with you.”

“Now? Out here?”

“Why not? We didn’t get to dance at the ball.”

“But there’s no music.”

“Sure there is … listen.”

She stood still, holding her breath. All around she heard night noises—songs of tree frogs and katydids. He held out his hand and bowed from the waist. “May I have this dance, Shannon?”

Slowly, she slid her hand into his and curtsied. His other arm came round her waist, and she rested the tips of her fingers on his shoulder. She closed her eyes, allowing him to lead her in slow graceful circles on the smooth rock. She caught the scent of pines
tinged with magnolia. Zack said softly, “You’re really beautiful, Shannon.”

“
A beautiful girl needs to know how to dance when all her boyfriends come around
.” Her father’s words echoed in her memory. Her eyes flew open and she stopped swaying. The moonlight was full on Zack’s face, making his dark eyes glimmer like the lights in the valley. Her heart hammered. She lifted her chin upward and rose on the tips of her toes.

Zack pulled her closer. She wound her arms around him, felt his breath flutter against her cheek. He touched his lips to hers, tentatively at first, then more deeply. She felt warm from head to toe and soft inside, so soft. He broke the kiss and studied her face. “I know this has been a bad summer for you, but for me, it’s been the best.”

She felt tingly all over. “Parts of it have been wonderful,” she said, her voice breathy. “Knowing you …” She let the sentence trail because she couldn’t put all she was feeling into words.

“We should go back,” he said, his voice low and husky.

She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to be in Zack’s arms in the moonlight forever. “I guess so.”

“Thanks for showing me this place.”

“You’re the only other person in the world I’ve ever been here with. My dad and you.”

He took her hand and led her over to where Black was grazing. “How do we get the horse back over?”

“There’s a gate farther down.”

He found it, gave her a boost up onto Black, untied Pippin, and hoisted himself up. “Could we ride back slowly?” he asked.

“I’m in no hurry.”

They returned the way they’d come, only slowly, across a field studded with fireflies. They rode in silence, side by side, holding hands in the moonlight all the way home.

   Shannon was searching through a large castle filled with rooms, each barred by a closed door. She wore a flowing white gown and her hair was braided elegantly with wisteria. The halls were lit by moonlight and very quiet. Her heart began to pound as she realized she was all alone in the vast castle.

“Anybody home?” she called. Her voice echoed off blank stone walls. She opened one door and saw a coffin sitting in the center of an otherwise empty room. She screamed, slammed the door shut, and ran to the next door. But it was locked. All the doors were locked. Panic seeped through her as she ran from door to door, searching for a way out.

Her bare feet slapped against the hard, smooth stone. The walls dissolved, and suddenly she was in the center of a grassy field looking up at the outside of the castle. Far above her in the highest turret, a man stood. He beckoned to her. She strained to see his face in the moonlight, but he was too far away.

“Wait!” she cried, clinging to the rocks of the wall. “Wait! I’ll come up.” Magically, she began to climb, laboring, but slowly making progress. Yet no
matter how high she climbed, the turret grew higher, the man more minuscule. He waved to her and began to fade. “Don’t go!” she shouted. “Please!”

Shannon woke with a start, gasping for breath, her sheets drenched in perspiration. She lay absolutely still, waiting for her heart to stop pounding, telling herself over and over that it had only been a dream. Still, she kept wishing she could have reached the man. Now, fully awake, she knew that the man had been her father and realized she could never have reached him.

She thought of all the things she wanted to ask him and the things she wanted to share with him—the Pony Club camp-out, her attempts to train Black, the disastrous meet in Knoxville, how much Grandma and Mom and she missed him.

Moonbeams poured through her upstairs window across her bed and spilled onto the floor. Only hours before, she’d stood in their pale white light while Zack kissed her. She touched her fingertips to her lips and smiled. Her father had been right when he’d hinted that kissing a boy wouldn’t seem so bad to her one day. She wished she could tell him that, too.

Beneath her fingers, her lips trembled and tears pooled in her eyes. She brushed them away and conjured up images of Zack and the emotions he’d kindled in her. With his face firmly set in her mind’s eye, Shannon drifted peacefully back to sleep.

The next morning, Shannon bounded down the stairs, feeling better than she had in weeks. She saw her mother standing at the door of her father’s study. Her hand rested on the knob, but her forehead was bowed against the solid wood surface. She was crying.

“Mom, what are you doing?” Shannon cleared the last of the stairs and hurried to her mother.

Shannon’s mother sniffed, released the doorknob, but kept her eyes cast downward. “I’m trying to get up the courage to open this door and go inside this room.”

Shannon’s stomach began to feel queasy as images of the night they’d come home and discovered her father shot came flooding back. “You told me we didn’t have to go in there. Maybe it’s too soon to handle it.”

“We have to handle it sooner or later.”

“I can’t handle it,” Shannon confessed. Her mother touched Shannon’s cheek. “I’m sorry, Mom,” she added miserably.

“Forget it. Believe me, I understand. I guess
neither of us wants to go back inside.” Shannon’s mother turned away from the door.

“Sometimes I want to forget the room’s even there. I wish it wasn’t even a part of the house.”

“It’s nothing we
have
to do today.” Shannon’s mother walked into the living room and settled on the sofa. Shannon sat beside her. Her mother said, “Your grandmother called. She asked if you were feeling better. I didn’t know you left the ball early—especially since you didn’t get back here until fairly late.”