When Girlfriends Step Up (20 page)

***

The following morning we decided to take the kayaks out for a while. The previous night was fun, and, as expected, no real luck was found in the male department, but we still had a great night out. Today’s late morning weather and conditions were ideal for kayaking: not much of a breeze, the water still and not as congested, because most of the holiday goers were making their way home, and the sun wasn’t blazing as badly as it had the day before. The relief from a few passing clouds was refreshing, and the juxtaposition it created overhead on parts of the water were idyllic.
 

Kayaking is something I’ve loved doing since I was a kid. It’s as much a second-nature sport among locals in Seattle as windsurfing. You can paddle around, solo or in a group, and be one with nature. Paddle into small coves or a beach briefly to take a break in a quiet patch of grass, or have a picnic. Even paddle as far out as the lake or the sound will allow, alone and in peace.

I ventured out a ways on my own, heading towards a jutting piece of land. It looked like the perfect spot to temporarily beach and stretch my legs. My endurance in a kayak wasn’t what it used to be, being four months pregnant and all. I cautiously maneuvered my watercraft up the pebbly beach, careful not to strain my back or make any difficult movements that might prove harmful for the baby.

I’d brought along my sketchbook, and I managed to fit it snugly between the inside of my life vest (that I had a heck of a time snapping closed) and my back. It would be a peaceful treat to do a little sketching out in nature, by myself and with no clock reminding me it was time to get to bed.

I took up the patch of wildflowers and grass off to my near right as composition, and started to make sweeping motions and brushing lines with my pencil. Then my mind started to wander to the conversation I’d had with the girls about Bobby last night. About how under the right circumstance I
would
be interested in pursuing a relationship with him.
 

I’d smelled Bobby Holman’s cologne and been swept off my feet by the intoxicating scent for years. I’d caught myself taking sporadic peeks of him at his desk when I made my way from my office to the break room. Recently, I’d been getting butterflies in my stomach when he came up to talk to me, and I was sure it was partly due to being worried about what I
thought
I was feeling for him (and wondering if he felt for me), and partly due to actually feeling something for him. And, Bobby had recently started to play a prolific role in my daydreaming…in my thoughts. Bobby definitely had a hold on me, but I couldn’t let that hold become tight, and I couldn’t let it grow into something that it wasn’t. I knew how I felt. I conjectured how he felt. He had a girlfriend. I had a baby on the way. I was only being absurd.

I finished with a couple of flower heads, and made a few more brushes and a small amount of erasing in one of the grass sections I sketched, then decided to call it a day. Enough daydreaming about the man who had suddenly become the object of my desire. Seriously, since when did that happen? Why must everything sneak up on you?
 

Such fantasies…only fantasies. Putting them out of my head now. Reality here, Robin.
 

I got into my kayak, securing my sketchbook one last time to make sure it was intact, and paddled my way back to home shore.
 

Under different circumstances, sure. But this is reality. In reality the pregnant girl can fall in love with the co-worker who has a beautiful girlfriend. It is only in dreams, though, that the co-worker would reciprocate the feelings and fall in love with a woman and her fatherless baby. There are dreams, there is reality, and sadly the two don’t tell the same story.

***

“The fish is really good,” Sophie said, taking another bite of her fresh salmon, straight from the grill compliments of Chef Chad.

“And the chicken is amazing,” Lara said, enjoying the succulent lemon pepper chicken that I was also eating, again, compliments of Chef Chad.

“Hey, what can I say? I’m the master of the grill.”

Sophie rolled her eyes, then said, “Totally random subject, but guess what?” We all looked at her. What was the sudden news?

“Claire and I were talking today. And…” Sophie looked to Claire, who was seated right next to her around the enormous table by the pool. “…And we decided that it’s about time I get my own place.”

“Decided to kick her out,” Claire joked.
 

“No, it’s time. I’ve been living there for, what? Like three and half months or something? It’s time I pick up my feet and get going. Get myself my own place and get out of Claire and Conner’s hair.”

“You haven’t had a place of your own in forever,” Jackie said.

“Thanks for reminding me.” Sophie smiled slyly at her. Sophie hadn’t lived more than a few weeks in her own apartment right after college when she moved in with Brandon. And now she was with Claire.

“It’s finally time. Time I get on out of there and let Claire and Conner have their home back.”

“You know you’re always welcome,” Conner said.

“Yeah, and, you know,” Chad said, taking a hearty bite of chicken. “You’re always welcome to move in with me.”

Sophie only gave a snarling look.

“I’m serious, babe,” he said, taking yet another hearty bite as Conner started to roar with laughter. “My roomies wouldn’t mind. They’d love to shack up with you.” Sophie dropped her knife and fork, causing a loud clanging noise. “We’ve got plenty of room,” Chad added.

“You’re disgusting,” Sophie said, picking up her utensils.

Chad laughed and continued teasing. “Aw, come on, babe. You know my door is always open.”

“Stop it.”

Jackie was looking from Chad, to Sophie, to Chad…then she looked at me and sighed heavily.

All right then…

“I think it’s a great idea that Sophie goes and looks for a place of her own,” Lara said, trying to break up whatever it was that was going on at the table now. “While the offer is nice, Chad, I don’t think Sophie sees herself living on Lake Union. In a houseboat. With some guys.”

“Hey, the pad’s super comfy. Really sweet place. Lots of room. Got a kitchen so you can bake your little cakes.”

Sophie was about to say something most likely inappropriate and offensive, but Lara stopped her. “Nope. No houseboat for Sophie. Thank you, Chad. I think a nice apartment near work is probably what she’s thinking. Yeah? Somewhere in Belltown? They’ve got a lot of nice new apartments and condos going in over there.” Lara finally pulled Sophie’s attention in her direction, and she nodded in agreement.

“Well, like I said. My door’s always open,” Chad said, slinking down in his chair, satisfied with his meal…and with his usual round of teasing.

“As it always is,” Jackie said. She stood up, as did Sophie and Claire, and started to clear the table.

Chapter Fourteen

It’d been three weeks. Three whole long and somewhat excruciating weeks since I was supposed to have had my lunch “date” with Bobby. I was feeling under the weather when I woke up on the day we had lunch planned and couldn’t so much as drag myself out of bed to brush my teeth until after noon. I thought the worst of the morning sickness had passed with the onset of the second trimester. Lara thought it was the large amounts of food I’d had over the holiday at Chad’s, and the excessive amounts of sun were probably not in my favor.

Yet three weeks later and there was still no new “date” set with Bobby. In fact, he wasn’t acting his usual, somewhat flirtatious self with me. Don’t get me wrong; he was still very civil and nice—opening doors for me, bringing me forgotten copies on the copier, and saying the kosher “good morning” and “see you tomorrow.” But no more shared coffee (or tea) moments in the break room. No more checking to see if I wanted to join him and some of the gang for lunch. And no more random popping his head around the corner to say “hi” or to see if I needed a refill. Initially, I didn’t think my breaking off our lunch due to illness rubbed Bobby the wrong way. But after three weeks, when he still hadn’t even attempted to make new plans, I started to wonder if maybe Bobby
was
upset with me and thought I’d blown off our lunch on purpose.
 

I tried not to get too upset about it or work myself up into a tizzy thinking about the what-ifs. Lara told me to ride it out and keep cool on my end, as if there was nothing wrong, and to let Bobby do his own thing. After all, as she pointed out, he was only a co-worker with a girlfriend, and I only had a small office crush on him. No need to blow anything out of proportion or borrow trouble.

In the meantime, while my love life was pitiful, or rather, non-existent, Jackie had finally landed herself a man. It happened precisely as she had planned. She was working a late night shift at the jazz bar, and some swanky-looking, forty-something-and-single man walked in, asked her for the best seat in the house—asked her where she, the “lovely lady, would find herself seated on a fine night like this if she weren’t working.” (Really smooth.) Half an hour later he arranged with the manager on duty to let Jackie off her shift (which I’m sure cost a pretty penny). He then asked her to join him for drinks and oh, about two weeks later, Jackie was hauling her crap out of Emily’s apartment and into his swanky place in Downtown.

“It sounds like this guy’s more of a winner than the last one,” Lara said to me one night when we were rearranging my bedroom furniture. I’d sketched out a few more ideas for the setup of my bedroom for when I bought the baby’s stuff. I found the ideal, simple yet sleek crib and matching furniture while flipping through IKEA’s latest catalog. With the measurements squared away, I wanted to test out different arrangements of my bed and furniture.

“Jackie has never had a penchant for picking out winners. We all know that.” I tried to push as little weight as I could, but my bed was quite light, so Lara could easily manage the majority of the moving on her own. “Not that this guy really needs to be all that better than the last one in order to be ‘more of a winner.’”

“She says she’s happy. Even though she always says she’s happy.”

“That’s how it is at first,” I said. “She meets a guy. Her expectations are wild. He seems to fulfill them. Then he turns into a complete jackass. She’s lost without him. Starts drinking more when she’s all depressed. They fight, he leaves. Or they fight, she leaves. Somehow it always ends in disaster and heartbreak. Always a crap load of drama.”

Lara pushed the nightstand closer to the bed and said, “Same story. Let’s hope different results this time.”

“Oh, did you hear Sophie’s all moved in to her new place now?” I changed topics.

“Damn, that was quick.”

“Apparently she’d been looking at places for a while. Found just what she was looking for—in Belltown, I think it is—and she’s all moved in. And she’s planning on having a small housewarming party.”

“When’s that planned?” Lara asked. She sprawled out on my bed, looking exhausted, and stuffed a fluffy white pillow under her head.

“She didn’t say exactly. But she mentioned some time after she gets furniture. I suggested we do an IKEA run at the same time.” Lara’s eyes lit up. I knew she loved shopping at IKEA. And, who were any of us kidding? We all loved shopping there.

“That’s a great idea!”

“That way I can get some of the baby furniture then, too,” I said. “We were thinking this weekend maybe?”

My cell phone started to ring. After I searched around the fairly messy bedroom, I hastily answered the call without even glancing at the caller ID.

“Robin, is this an okay time?” It was my sister Kaitlyn.

“Uh…sure. Hey, Kaitlyn. What’s up?” Lara got up at the sound of the name Kaitlyn, as she knew the chances of my sister randomly calling me was slim to none, so it must have been serious. She closed my bedroom door behind her.

“You feeling all right?” Kaitlyn asked me.
 

Why are you calling? This is peculiar…

“Of course I’m feeling all right. Why wouldn’t I be fee—”
 

Ah hah. Mom must have tipped her off about the pregnancy.
 

“I’m feeling great, actually,” I said. “So mom told you the big news, am I right?”

She confirmed, saying that she wished I had called her too.

“Don’t get me wrong, Kaitlyn, but it’s not like we’re all that close. We’re not exactly the best of friends. Or close siblings…” I didn’t mean for my words to sound as callous as they may have come off. “I mean, I had a hard enough time telling mom. And finally emailing dad. I honestly didn’t think of calling the whole family—mom, dad, sister, brother, aunts, uncles—”

“Don’t be silly,” Kaitlyn said. “I’m your sister. Of course I’d want to know. We may not exactly be close, but I still want to know.”

I didn’t know what to say. Then came one of those awkward silences that I’d experienced more than a few times with Kaitlyn.

“Anyway, that’s neither here nor there,” she finally said, her voice sounding chipper. “So do tell. How far along are you? What are you having? When’s the due date?”

“I take it mom didn’t fill you in on much?”
 

“Well, she told me that the father is some random guy who’s not in the picture. But I don’t think you really want to talk about that.”

I sighed. “Yeah, not exactly.”

“So, do tell me—the due date, the first ultrasound. You’ve had that, right?”

Once we’d gotten beyond the initial uneasiness of the call—the fact that we hadn’t spoken in more than half a year—we carried on in a way we hadn’t since I was, well…in high school. Kaitlyn’s mood was cheerful and welcoming. I could hear that she was actually interested in my life and had a genuine care for me and her soon-to-be niece or nephew.

Perhaps Kaitlyn could understand where I was coming from with the newly pregnant thing and all. She herself had two young children and could relate to the ups and downs of becoming a new mom. One day you feel great in your skin, then next not so hot. And then the worries about being a good parent and a good enough caretaker for your baby…whether you’ll be able to give it everything it needs and everything you want to provide for it…