When Do Fish Sleep? (42 page)

Pot pies, vent holes in

Potato chips

bags, impossibility of opening and closing

curvy shape

green tinges on

price of, versus tortilla chips

Potato skins, restaurants and

Potatoes, baked, and steak houses

Potholes, causes of

“Potter’s field”

Power lines

humming of

orange balls on

Prefaces in books, versus introductions and forewords

Pregnancy, permanents and

Pregnant women, food cravings of

Preserves, contents of

Press conferences, microphones in

“Pretty kettle of fish”

“Pretty picnic”

Pretzels, shape of

Priests, black vestments and

Priority mail, first class versus

Prisoners and license plate manufacturing

Prohibition, liquor production of distilleries during

Pronunciation, dictionaries and

“P’s and Q’s”

Pubic hair

curliness of

purpose of

Public buildings, temperatures in

Public radio, low frequency numbers of

Pudding, film on

Punts, measurement of, in football

Purple

Christmas tree lights

paganism

royalty and

“Put up your dukes”

Putting, veering of ball toward ocean when

“Q.T.”

“Qantas,” spelling of

Q-Tips, origins of name

“Quack [doctor]”

“Quarterback”

Quarterbacks and exclamation, “hut”

Quarter-moons versus half moons

Quarts and gallons, American versus British

Queen-size sheets, size of

Rabbit tests, death of rabbits in

Rabbits and nose wiggling

Racewalking, judging of

Racquetballs, color of

Radar and police speed detection

Radiators and placement below windows

Radio

beeps before network news

FM, odd frequency numbers of

lack of song identification

public, low frequency numbers

Radio Shack and lack of cash registers

Radios

battery drainage

lingering sound of recently unplugged

Railroad crossings and “EXEMPT” signs

Railroads, width of standard gauges of

Rain

butterflies and

fish biting in

measurement container for

smell of impending

Raincoats, dry-cleaning of

“Raining cats and dogs”

“Raise hackles”

Raisins

cereal boxes and

seeded grapes and

Ranchers’ boots on fence posts

Razor blades, hotel slots for

Razors, men’s versus women’s

“Read the riot act”

“Real McCoys”

Rear admiral, origins of term

Rear-view mirrors, day/night switch on automobile

Receipts, cash register, color of

Records, vinyl, speeds of

Recreational vehicles and wheel covers

Recyclable plastics, numbers on

Recycling of newspaper ink

Red

color of beef

eyes in photographs

paint on coins

“Red cent”

“Red herring”

Red lights, versus green lights, on boats and airplanes

“Red tape”

Red Wings, Detroit, octopus throwing and

“Red-letter day”

Redshirting in college football

Refrigeration of opened food jars

Refrigerators

location of freezers in

smell of new

thermometers in

Relative humidity, during rain

Remote controls, men versus women and

Repair shops, backlogs and

Restaurants

coffee, versus home-brewed

vertical rules near entrances of

Restrooms, group visits by females to

Revolving doors, appearance of, in big cities

Reynolds Wrap, texture of two sides of

Rhode Island, origins of name

Ribbons, blue

Rice cakes, structural integrity of

Rice Krispies

noises of

profession of Snap!

“Right wing”

“Rigmarole”

Rings, nose, bulls and

Rinks, ice, temperature of resurfacing water in

“Riot Act [1716]”

Roaches

automobiles and

position of dead

reactions to light

Roads

blacktop, coloring of

fastening of lane reflectors on

versus bridges, in freezing characteristics

Robes, black, and judges

Rocking in zoo animals

Rodents and water sippers

Roller skating rinks, music in

Rolls

coldness of airline

versus buns

Roman chariots, flimsiness of

Roman numerals

calculations with

copyright notices in movie credits and

on clocks

Roofs, gravel on

Roosevelt, Teddy, and San Juan Hill horses

Roosters, crowing and

Root beer

carbonation in

foam of

Rubble, Betty

nonappearance in Flintstones vitamins

vocation of

Ruins, layers of

Rulers, vertical, in restaurant entrances

Run amok

Runny noses

cold weather and

kids versus adults

Rust, dental fillings and

RVs and wheel covers

“Rx”

S.O.S Pads, origins of

“Sacked [fired]”

Sacks, paper

jagged edges on

names on

Safety caps, aspirin, 100-count bottles of

Safety pins, gold versus silver

Saffron, expense of

Sailors, bell bottom trousers and

“Salad days”

Salads, restaurant, celery in

Saloon doors in Old West

Salt

and pepper, as table condiments

in oceans

packaged, sugar as ingredient in

round containers and

storage bins on highway and

versus sand, to treat icy roads

Salutes, military, origins of

San Francisco, sourdough bread in

Sand

in pockets of new jeans

storage bins on highway and

versus salt, to treat icy roads

Sandbags, disposal of

Sardines, fresh, nonexistence in supermarkets

“Sawbuck [ten-dollar bill]”

Sawdust on floor of bars

Scabs, itchiness of

Scars, hair growth and

“Schneider”

School clocks, backward clicking of minute hands in

Schools, CPR training in

Scissors, sewing, and paper cutting

“Scot-free”

“Scotland Yard”

Scotsmen and kilts

Screen doors, location of handles on

Screwdrivers, reasons for Philips

Scuba masks, spitting into

Sea gulls in parking lots

Sea level, measurement of

Seas versus oceans, differences between

Seat belts

and shoulder straps in airplanes

in buses

in taxicabs

Secretary as U.S. government department head designation

“Seed [tournament ranking]”

“Seeing stars,” head injuries and

Self-service versus full-service, pricing of, at gas stations

“Semi,” origins of term

“Semimonthly”

“Semiweekly”

Serrated knives, lack of, in place settings

Settling in houses

Seven-layer cakes and missing layers

Seventy-two degrees, human comfort at

Sewing scissors and paper cutting

Shampoo bottles, notches on bottom of

Shampoo labels, “FD&C” on label of

Shampoos

colored, white suds and

lathering of

number of applications

Shaving of armpits, women and

Sheets

irregular, proliferation of

queen-size, size of

Sheriffs’ badges, shape of

Shirts

buttons on men’s versus women’s

men’s, pins in

single-needle stitching in

starch on

Shoe laces

length in athletic shoes

united, in shoe stores

Shoe sizes, differences between

Shoes

lace length in shoe stores

layers on

of deceased, at funerals

penny loafers

single, on side of road

tied to autos, at weddings

uncomfortable, and women

untied laces in stores

wing-tip, holes in

“Shoofly pie”

Shopping, female proclivity toward

Shopping malls, doors at entrance of

“Short shrift”

Shoulder straps and seat belts in airplanes

Shredded Wheat packages, Niagara Falls on

“Shrift”

Shrimp, baby, peeling and cleaning of

“Shrive”

“Siamese twins”

“Sic,” as dog command

Side vents in automobile windows

“Sideburns”

Sidewalks

cracks on

glitter on

Silica gel packs in electronics boxes

Silos, round shape of

Silver fillings, rusting of

Silverstone, versus Teflon

Singers, American accents of foreign

Single-needle stitching in shirts

Sinks, overflow mechanisms on

Siskel, Gene, versus Roger Ebert, billing of

Skating music, roller rinks and

Skating, figure, and dizziness

Ski poles, downhill

“Skidoo”

Skunks, smell of

Skyscrapers, bricks in

Skytyping, versus skywriting

Skywriting

techniques of

versus skytyping

Sleep

babies and

drowsiness after meals

eye position

heat and effect on

twitching during

“Slippery When Wet” signs, location of

“Small fry”

Smell of impending rain

Smiling in old photographs

Smoke from soda bottles

Snack foods and prepricing

Snake emblems on ambulances

Snakes

sneezing

tongues

Snap! [of Rice Krispies], profession of

“Snap! Crackle! And Pop!” of Rice Krispies

Sneezing

eye closure during

looking up while

pepper and

snakes and

Snickers, wavy marks on bottom of

Sniffing, boxers and

Snoring, age differences and

Snow and cold weather

“Snow” on television

Soap, Ivory, purity of

Soaping of retail windows

Soaps, colored, white suds and

Social Security cards, lamination of

Social Security numbers

fifth digit of

reassignment of

sequence of

Socks

angle of

disappearance of

men’s, coloring of toes on

“Soda jerk”

Soft drinks

bottles, holes on bottom of

brominated vegetable oil in

calorie constituents

effect of container sizes and taste

filling of bottles of

finger as fizziness reduction agent

fizziness in plastic cups

fizziness of soda with ice cream

fizziness over ice

freezing of, in machines

Kool-Aid and metal containers

machines, “Use Correct Change” light on

phenylalanine as ingredient in

pinholes on bottle caps of

root beer, foam of

smoke of

“sodium-free” labels

Soles, sunburn and

“Son of a gun”

Sonic booms, frequency of

Sororities, Greek names of

Souffles and reaction to loud noises

Soup, alphabet, foreign countries and

Soups and shelving in supermarkets

Sour cream, expiration date on

Sourdough bread, San Francisco, taste of

South Florida, University of, location of

South Pole

directions at

telling time at

Sparkling Wine, name of, versus champagne

Speech, elderly versus younger and

Speed limit, 55 mph, reasons for

Speeding and radar

Speedometers, markings of, in automobiles