Wheel of Misfortune (2 page)

“May we have some food to take along?” asked Angus. “And some for Bragwort, too, I suppose.”

“And please, sir,” Wiglaf added, “no lumpen pudding.”

“What!” cried Frypot. “Insult my lumpen pudding, will you?”

“I did not mean to...” Wiglaf began.

“I make the best lumpen pudding this side of Camelot,” Frypot muttered. “But it’s not good enough for you picky eaters.” He grumbled darkly to himself as he banged jars and flasks around.

“Nice going, Wiglaf,” said Angus, who took matters of food quite seriously. “Now Frypot will fix us something awful.”

At last Frypot handed them four packages wrapped in parchment. “Jellied eel with a side of eel fries,” he said. “And for dessert...”

“Yes?” said Angus eagerly.

“Eel custard,” Frypot said. “Baked it just last week.” He frowned. “Or was it the week before?”

The DSA team made faces behind Frypot’s back. But they took their food and hurried from the kitchen. They ran out into the castle yard. Daylight was fading fast.

As they headed for the gatehouse, Wiglaf heard a voice calling: “Iglaf-way! Ait-way!”

Wiglaf squinted into the dusk. He saw his pet pig, Daisy, trotting across the castle yard toward him. Daisy had traveled with Wiglaf from his father’s cabbage farm in Pinwick. On the way, a wizard had put a speech spell on her. Now she could speak, but only in Pig Latin.

“Hello, Daisy old girl,” Wiglaf said. “You have come just in time to see us off.”

“Oing-gay ow-nay?” asked Daisy. “In-yay ee-thay ark-day?”

“Yes, we’re going in the dark.” Angus nodded. “We must be at KNC by tomorrow evening. »

“Et-lay ee-may ome-cay ith-way oo-yay,” Daisy suggested.

“Come with us?” Wiglaf said. “Oh, Daisy, I think not. For we are to match wits with other lads in a brain-power contest.”

“I-yay an-cay ee-bay our-yay oach-cay,” Daisy said.

“You? Be our coach?” said Angus.

“But what does a pig know about answering really, really hard questions?” Erica asked.

“Enty-play,” said Daisy. “Other-bray Ave-day ings-bray ee-may ooks-bay om-fray ee-thay ibrary-lay. I-yay ead-ray all-yay ay-day.”

Erica turned to Wiglaf. “Is this true?” she asked. “Does Brother Dave really bring her library books?”

Wiglaf nodded. “Daisy reads three or four books a day.”

“Then perhaps she can help us,” Erica said thoughtfully.

“She could quiz us as we walk,” said Angus.

Wiglaf smiled. “We shall be glad of your company, Daisy,” he said. “Let us be off.”

They walked to the gatehouse.

“Took you long enough,” Bragwort said when they reached him. “I, myself, am never late.” He frowned at Daisy. “Be gone, swine!”

“This is my pet pig, Daisy,” Wiglaf told Bragwort. “She is coming with us.”

“To be our coach,” Angus added.

Bragwort’s mouth fell open. “A pig for a coach?” he cried. “I don’t think so.”

“Let us take a vote,” Erica suggested.

“I am team captain,” said Bragwort. “And I say no pig.”

They stood outside the gatehouse, arguing.

At last Daisy said, “Old-hay it-yay, Agwort-bray. Et-lay ee-may ive-gay ou-yay a-yay ain-bray etcher-stray.”

“What did she say?” asked Bragwort.

“Daisy wants to give you a brain stretcher,” said Wiglaf.

“No, thanks,” said Bragwort. “My brain is already stretched. It’s huge!”

Daisy pretended not to hear. “Ou-yay and-yay ee-thray iends-fray are-shay a-yay ie-pay. At-whay action-fray of-yay e-thay ie-pay oes-day each-yay iend-fray et-gay?”

“Huh?” said Bragwort.

Wiglaf spoke up. “Daisy said, ‘You and three friends share a pie. What fraction of the pie does each friend get?’”

“Easy,” said Bragwort. “I get the whole pie, and my friends get nothing!” He laughed loudly.

“Ome-say enius-gay!” Daisy said, rolling her eyes.

“Is she saying how smart I am?” asked Bragwort.

Wiglaf nodded. “Daisy says you are a genius.”

Bragwort beamed. “That is true,” he said. “Oh, all right. I guess your pig can come with us if she really wants to.”

Daisy winked at Wiglaf. Then she and the others followed Bragwort through the gatehouse and across the drawbridge. They were on their way to KNC!

N
o moon shone that night. No stars, either. The trip through the Dark Forest was very dark indeed.

Strange birds cawed. Beasts growled in the brush. Hermits coughed and wheezed inside their caves. But Daisy gave the DSA team brain stretchers as they walked. This kept their minds from dwelling on the scary noises.

At last the sky grew light in the east.

“Zounds, Daisy!” Wiglaf exclaimed. “We are just north of Wizard’s Bog. This is where we first met Zelnoc. Remember?”

“Es-yay,” Daisy said stiffly. She had not forgiven the wizard for messing up her speech spell.

The party stopped for breakfast.

“Stone cold eel fries—ugh!” said Angus.

After breakfast, the DSA team walked on and on and on. By noon, Wiglaf had blisters. By suppertime, he had blisters on his blisters.

At sunset, they reached the top of a hill.

“There it is!” cried Erica, looking down. “Knights Noble Conservatory!”

“Ounds-zay!” exclaimed Daisy.

Angus whistled. “That is some fancy castle,” he said.

“I wonder if I could transfer,” Bragwort mused. “Someone as smart as I deserves to go to the finest school.”

Wiglaf stared at KNC in silence. He had seen King Arthur’s castle in Camelot. But this was even fancier. Its white stone glowed pink in the sunset. Wiglaf counted fourteen towers. Each flew a red-and-white KNC flag.

Angus straightened his tunic. Erica rubbed the dust off her boots. Bragwort spit on the tail of his tunic and scrubbed at the dirt on his face. Wiglaf tried to push his unruly carrot-colored hair under his cap. Only Daisy felt perfectly confident to enter KNC just the way she was.

The DSA team members made their way down the hill to the KNC drawbridge. Two knights stood guard at the bridge. One wore shiny white armor. The other wore armor of red.

“Ello-hay!” Daisy greeted the knights.

“Egad!” said the red knight. “The pig speaks!”

“Is the swine under an enchantment?” asked the white knight.

Wiglaf nodded. “Her name is Daisy, and she is our coach.”

“We are the Dragon Slayers’ Academy team,” Erica told the knights. “We are here to compete in the Brain-Power Tournament.”

“You may cross the bridge.” said the white knight. “See Jeeves inside the castle. He’ll show you to your rooms.”

The DSA team and their coach crossed the bridge. They walked through the KNC gatehouse and across the castle yard. Wiglaf had never seen such a green lawn. On the far side of the yard he spied several boys in red-and-white uniforms. They had mallets and were hitting a ball through little wickets.

“I hope we have come in time for supper,” Angus muttered.

The DSA team walked into the castle. Wiglaf was amazed. The stone floors shone. Portraits of famous graduates hung on the walls. The first was a portrait of Sir Lancelot.

A tall, thin man with snow white hair hurried toward them. He had on a white velvet tunic and white gloves.

“Greetings,” he said. “You must be...” He looked them up and down, and said, “...lost.”

“We are not lost, sir,” said Erica. She explained that they were the DSA team. And that Daisy was their coach.

“Oh, dear,” the man muttered. Then he said, “I am Jeeves, head butler.”

Butler? thought Wiglaf. He had never realized just how different DSA was from KNC.

They followed Jeeves down the hall to his office.

“Ah! I have just the room for you,” Jeeves said as he checked a large book. “It has a lovely garden view.”

“Oh, thank you, sir,” said Wiglaf. He thought he could get used to this grand style of living.

Jeeves rang a bell on his desk.

Instantly, a servant decked out in the school colors appeared. He bowed to Jeeves.

“Take their luggage to Suite D, Otto,” Jeeves said.

Otto frowned. “Surely, sir, you don’t mean...”

“Oh, but I do,” said Jeeves. “Suite D for DSA.” He turned to the team. “A meeting to go over the rules will be held in the Sword-in-the-Stone Gymnasium at eight bells tonight. You just have time to go to your room and freshen up.”

“What about supper, sir?” Angus asked eagerly.

“You have missed supper,” Jeeves replied.

“But we are very hungry, sir,” said Angus.

“The kitchen is closed,” Jeeves said. “And we here at KNC do not believe in eating between meals.”

Wiglaf thought he had never seen Angus look so disappointed. He still had his eel custard left in his own pack. He would share it with his friend.

Bragwort handed Otto his pack. Otto grabbed a torch from the wall and led the DSA team down the hallway. They came to a set of stairs leading up to one of the towers. But Otto turned and began leading them down a set of stairs. The hallway at the bottom looked nothing like the hallway upstairs. It was dark, for one thing. And it smelled funny.

“Here we are,” said Otto. “Suite D.” He turned a rusty key in the lock. The door squeaked open.

Wiglaf squinted into the room. Otto’s torch lit it well enough for him to see four small cots shoved up against the wall.

“But-but-but...” Erica sputtered. “This is a dungeon!”

“We never call it that anymore,” Otto told them. “And look.” He pointed to the small, barred window way at the top of the wall. “In the daylight, you can see a bit of the garden.”

Otto lit the lone torch on the wall, which made the little room very smoky. Then he bowed and vanished down the hallway.

“They can’t do this to me!” Bragwort cried. “I am the team captain! I, at least, should have a better room!”

“Oh, pipe down, Bragwort,” said Erica.

“I shall go talk to Jeeves,” Bragwort said, storming off.

Erica began to pace up and down Suite D.

Angus sighed and sat down on a cot.

“Ow!” he cried. “This bed is hard as a rock!” He pulled up the thin blanket that covered it. “No wonder,” he said. “It is a rock!”

Wiglaf sat down on the hard stone cot next to Angus’s. He patted Daisy absently on the head.

Moments later, Bragwort stormed back into Suite D. Wiglaf guessed that his talk with Jeeves had not gone well.

“I say we go back to DSA!” Bragwort wailed.

“Quit?” Erica cried. “Never!” She kept pacing up and down. “We are going to show everyone what the DSA team is made of! We are going to stay and represent DSA in the All-Schools Brain-Power Tournament. And we are going to win!”

B
ONG BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG!

“That’s eight,” Angus said. “Let us be off. Perchance there will be snacks at this meeting.”

The DSA team hurried out of the dungeon. They ran up the stairs. Wiglaf saw a huge boulder. The handle of a sword stuck out of it. He figured they had found the right spot.

The DSA team walked into the torch-lit gym.

“No snacks!” Angus moaned.

“Here comes the DSA team,” called the red knight. “Take a seat on your bench, men!”

Four benches had been placed in a square in the middle of the gym. Three were already filled. Four boys sat on each bench with their coach. The DSA team quickly sat down on the only empty bench. Daisy plopped down on the floor beside Wiglaf.

The KNC team sat across from DSA. The KNC boys wore red silk tunics. Huge gold KNC medallions hung from gold chains around their necks. They wore red-and-white striped puffy pants, white leggings, and floppy white hats with large red plumes.

“The Knights Noble Conservatory team looks very fancy,” Wiglaf whispered to Erica.

Erica shrugged. “Fancy doesn’t mean smart.”

Wiglaf glanced at the team to his left. They wore green felt hats bearing the letters DSP for Dragon Stabbers’ Prep. Their green tunics had pockets. And in the pockets each team member carried several writing quills. All four DSP boys were thin and pale. They had ink-stained fingers. They did not look the sort to stab dragons. Rather, they looked as if they spent their time indoors. In a library, perhaps. Wiglaf thought they looked as if they would do very well in a brain-power tournament.

“Do you think the DSP team looks smart?” Wiglaf asked Erica.

Erica studied the boys for a moment.

“You can’t always tell by looks,” she said.

The Knights R Us team—four big, strapping lads—sat on the bench to Wiglaf’s right. They wore yellow short-sleeved tunics. The letters KRU had been stitched onto their sleeves.

“Attention, lads!” the white knight said. “I now present the headmaster of Knights Noble Conservatory, Sir Verm!”

The boys clapped politely.