What You Do To Me (Unexpected Love) (42 page)

             
“Best friend forever, which is a high honor with that child. You must be one lucky guy.”

             
“You have no idea. I’ve been telling myself
that,
since the night I ran into you at the hotel bar, after you disappeared.”

             
“You sure are a sweet
talker,
aren’t you?” I was melting at his words and
I
was worried my real feelings would slip out if
he
continued to talk to me like that.

             
“Well, I am the Candyman.” I could hear him laughing on the other line.

             
“I never should have told you that, but
some things
just slip when I’m with you.”

             
“Like your panties? Because I don’t mind those slipping off.”

             
“Good night, I’ll talk to you tomorrow if
you’re
lucky.” Alex was still laughing on the other end when we hung up.

             
I put the girls to
bed, curled up in bed,
and pulled out my iPad to read my book. Josie came running in and curled up next to me. I set my iPad
down,
cuddled
her, kissed her head and breathed in her scent. “What’s
wrong,
Baby Girl, can’t you sleep?”
She shook her head no. “Want to sleep here with me tonight? You know I love when you sleep with me.” She
nodded
her head yes. I reached
over, turned the lamp off,
and curled her up into my arms.

             
“Mommy,
do
you love Alex?” I was surprised by the question, but
I had
never lied to my girls, not about anything like this and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to start now.

             
“Well, I like him a lot and I think
that
I
might be
starting to love him. Do you like him?”

             
Josie rolled
over,
placing her head on my chest. “He’s my
BFF;
he said he has never had one before. Plus, he tells me secrets.” I wanted to ask her what those secrets were, but knew that those were between her and Alex and it wasn’t my place to question her
about them,
even though it was killing me.

             
I kissed her head, “
He’s
lucky
you
picked
him
to be
your
BFF. Now, let’s get some
sleep, because
we need to get up early tomorrow.”

             
The week was going by slowly and I couldn’t wait to see Alex in a few days. I had been keeping myself busy with the girls and catching up with Lexi. I even tried to spend more quality time with my mom. She even went to the beach with us, which I think she enjoyed, but I
didn’t
think she was ready to admit it yet. That would be a big step for her.

             
When I was working t
he pub with Daryl, Bruce and my
dad came in holding a magazine. They looked like they were up to something and I wasn’t sure what it was, but I knew that look between them. “What sort of trouble are you two up to tonight?”

             
“Well, we should be asking you
that,
sweetheart.” I looked at
Bruce.
He
had
never called me sweetheart in his life.

             
“Why did you just call me that?” My dad laid down the magazine and slid it over to me.

             
“
Oh,
my fucking God, no, no, no,” I couldn’t believe I was looking at pictures of
Alex and me
. One of him licking sweat off my chest, another of him holding me with my legs around his waist at the Lincoln
Memorial.  Another was
of
him with Josie on his
shoulders,
holding my hand at the zoo. All the pictures looked
grainy, as if
they were taken with a cell phone camera. The title over the pictures was
Bad Boy Alex Maybe Settling for Small Town Sweetheart
. The article told about our trip in DC and
about the things that
we did at the zoo with the kids. It even mentioned that it was rumored that Alex left the band because of a fall out over me. I couldn’t believe this. It never occurred to me that the girls and I could be dragged into his life. I was one thing, but I didn’t want pictures of the girls plastered all over magazine and tabloids. I didn’t know what to say.

             
I put my head in my hands. My dad was the first to speak. “I thought I raised you better
than
to
make
out with guys in public.” I looked up at him through my fingers.

             
“That was the first time and obviously the whole fucking nation will see and think I’m a skank.” I was not happy
, actually I was embarrassed people would see this.

             
“
Watch your
language;
you know
I raised you better. Anyway,
I was upset until I saw that picture of him and Josie. They seem to have taken a liking to each other and
that’s
hard with that child.” He was right; the picture did look like they both were happy, with the smiles on their faces.

             
“Yeah, they are BFF’s,” My dad and Bruce gave me a puzzled look. “Best friends forever,” I
said
like
,
‘
Duh
, you should know that.
’

             
I sat at the table with them a little longer and they filled me in on the town gossip. They told me who was rumored
as being
linked to
whom
, but it didn’t
matter,
because I was the talk of the town with my new budding romance with a rock star.
They told me that
some company out of New York bought the historical Anderson house on the bluff
and a few different construction crews were working on remodeling and winterizing it. They said it was rumored to be a used as a corporate retreat. I was sad about
that, because the
house was always my favorite house in town and turning
it
into a corporate retreat would kill the character of the place.

             
By the time Bruce and my dad
left,
my mind was
off
the magazine cover. I just had to make it a few more days until I saw Alex and I didn’t want the pictures and the public to scare me away from this relationship with him. When Daryl and I
closed,
I got in the
car and called Lexi, forgetting
the
time
and the fact
that
she had to work in the morning.

             
“This better be good,
because
it’s after two in the morning.”

             
“I’m sorry, Lex,
” I paused for a moment,
“
Am
I making a mistake? Am I dragging the girls into something that won’t work? I
mean,
Josie is already so
attached.
If
this doesn’t work it will wreck her.”

             
“I think
you’re
doing the right thing. The pictures clearly show how much you care about each other. When you go out there, you need to talk to him, really talk. Tell him what you are scared of and tell him how you feel. You have to put yourself out there.” I let out a
sigh
because she
was
right.
We’ll
never get anywhere if I don’t
open up, but if I open up, then I open myself up to be rejected, “Now let me sleep,
and
I’ll call you tomorrow.”

             
“Fin
e
, but you saw the pictures too?”

             
“Who in town didn’t?” I heard her hang up the phone. I wasn’t sure how I felt about my personal life
and the girls
being so exposed to the world.

             
I made it home and pulled on one of Alex’s shirts. It had lost
its
smell, but there was something about wearing his shirt to bed. I picked up my phone and called him. “Hey,” I heard him say and it sounded like I woke him.

             
“I’m
sorry,
I shouldn’t have called. I just got in and couldn’t sleep.” I could hear him moving around.

             
“Don’t ever be sorry for calling
me.
I’m glad you did. I was worried I wouldn’t hear your voice tonight.”

             
“Did you see the pictures?” I couldn’t help
asking him
, it just came out. The pictures were weighing on my mind.

             
“Yeah, Sam brought the magazine in tonight, but I wasn’t surprised. Those pictures and others have been circling the
on-line
gossip sites for days now.” What, why didn’t I
know
this and why didn’t he say anything about them to me
?

             
“Why didn’t you tell
me?
A
heads up would have been
nice?
”
I was getting mad and I knew Alex could sense it in my voice.

             
“It’s not that I didn’t want to, but I was worried you would be upset and pull
away.
I can’t have you pull away again. I need you and
your
girls.
Abby,
I haven’t been this happy possibly ever.
You have no clue what you do to me.
” I could hear it in his voice and I believed him or I wanted to believe him.

             
“I’m not, it’s just a lot. I don’t mind me, but the girls. I don’t want the girls plastered all over these magazines. I don’t want people recognizing them as the daughters of the skank publicly making out with the rock star.” I was still tense and upset about the whole situation.

             
“I’m sorry and I wish I could change this, but I can’t right now, but listen
,
you are not a skank. I had to stop looking at the pictures because they were turning me on.” I could hear him smiling and
I
was excited t
hat the pictures turned him on, but I
quickly cut him
off.
I couldn’t listen to
this. With
so much
running through
my head,
I needed to think clearly
.

             
“I’ll let you sleep; I’ll see you in a few days.”

             
“Abby, promise me you won’t pull away.” I could hear the desperation in his voice and I wasn’t sure I could give him the reassurance he needed.

             
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,
okay
, get some sleep.” I wanted to promise, but I couldn’t get the words to come out of my mouth.
Alex managed a goodbye and we hung up.

             
That
night,
I didn’t sleep very well. I kept having dreams that I was with the
girls, people were crowding us,
and I lost them in the crowd. When I would find one, I would lose another. When I
awoke,
I was covered in sweat and more tired
than
when I went to bed.
I felt like the dreams were telling me
something.
If
that
became our life with
Alex,
the normal existence we
were
used to would
never be again and I
might
lose them in some way. I didn’t think physically, but possibly
emotionally,
and I wasn’t sure I was
even
willing
to chance it, not after the gains we
had
made since David’s death.

             
I spent the day with the girls. They had plans to go shopping downstate with my mother tomorrow and I had an early flight to Portland in the morning. I kept the day as low key as I could. I didn’t want to run into anyone in town and be asked about Alex and I didn’t want anyone saying anything to the girls.
When I dropped the girls off at my
parents,
my mom sent the girls in to watch a new video she picked up for them. She sent me out to the deck while she grabbed us some glasses of lemonade.