What We Found (27 page)

And see if I could answer his challenge to letting him know what I wanted.

Ricky couldn’t keep still as we drove out after work. “I want to take pictures. And video.” He bounced and fidgeted in his seat. “Do you think she’ll let me?”

“Probably. But make sure you ask permission before you share anything online.”

He jumped out to open the gate. As he closed it behind us, I watched him in the rearview mirror, smiled, and started pulling ahead. He ran after the car, laughing. I parked down by the house and got out as he came panting up. “I thought you needed to burn off some energy,” I said.

He tried to poke me in the side but I dodged, slung an arm around his shoulders, and turned him toward the house. The door opened and Nancy waved to us. “Well if it isn’t two of my new favorite people! Come in, come in.” Her beaming smile suggested she had a good idea of my developing relationship with Kyle. I wasn’t sure whether to be embarrassed, or flattered that she obviously approved.

My heart speeded up as I looked for Kyle, but Daniel was the only one in the kitchen. I suspected he was responsible for the mouthwatering smell of chocolate chip cookies, which was enough to make anyone feel welcome. I could hardly blame him for my disappointment.

Nancy said, “Kyle will be home any minute.” Obviously he’d inherited his ability to read my mind from his grandmother. “Which first,” she asked, “cookies or falcon chick?”

Ricky hesitated, eyeing the plate of oversized cookies on the table, but finally said, “The falcon chick, please.”

I expected Nancy to head back outside, to the building where the birds lived, but instead she led the way down the hall and into a small room that had the same zoo-like mustiness as the bird building, though fainter. She crouched by a rubber tub, lifted the lid, and pulled out something. She set the thing down on a towel. It was a scraggly bit of white fuzz about four inches long.

Ricky and I knelt beside her. The thing twitched, proving it was alive, but it looked more like something you would sweep out from under the bed than a living creature. When it shifted I finally spotted a tiny beak. This little thing would eventually take to the skies as a powerful hunter?

“Born this morning,” Nancy said proudly. “We’ll keep it in here for three days, to make sure its insides are working properly, and then take it back to its mother. It’s time for a feeding. They get fed five times a day.” She rummaged in a mini fridge and came out with a dish of chopped meat. She scooped up the falcon baby in one hand, holding it in a loose fist so the little head poked up. She took metal forceps in her other hand, plucked a tiny piece of meat, and held it over the chick.

“What does it eat?” Ricky asked.

“Quail meat. You have to keep it sterile because they don’t have an immune system yet.” She leaned closer and made a repetitive keening sound.

The little falcon gave a faint, high screech and opened its miniature beak. Nancy dropped in the meat. “Falcons use sound to attract the baby to food, so I do the same. Hawks use motion, so you wave the meat over its head.”

“Can I take pictures?” Ricky asked.

“Of course!”

He started taking photos with his phone. I wouldn’t have called the little thing cute, exactly, but it was certainly fascinating, especially when you knew how it would grow up.

I caught motion out of the corner of my eye and glanced over to see Kyle. My heart bumped, and a quick flush warmed my body. I rose and crossed behind Nancy and Ricky to him. “Hi,” I whispered.

“Hi.” He glanced at Nancy and Ricky and then motioned down the hall. Halfway down, he pulled me into a room and closed the door behind us. I barely had time to recognize the room as a bedroom before he backed me against the wall. “Hi,” he said again, his voice rougher. His arms enclosed me and we kissed.

I leaned against the wall as my legs went weak. His hand slid around the back of my head as he deepened the kiss.

Some time later he leaned his forehead against mine with a sigh. “I need you. I didn’t realize how much I need—”

He broke off and stepped away. “I’m sorry, that’s not fair.”

“What—what isn’t?”

He sank into a chair. “Putting that burden on you. Making you responsible for my happiness. You were good enough to accept me as I am, to give me a chance, and I want more. I’m demanding too much, too soon.” He gave a long sigh. “I know I have to find happiness and peace inside myself. I want you in my life, but I don’t expect you to make everything better. I’ll take what you’re ready to give, and I won’t ask for more.”

I watched him as he cradled his arm against his stomach, covering his stump with his other hand. His impairment obviously bothered him more than he sometimes let on.

Something shifted in my heart. He was right when he said he wasn’t a hero. He was a man, and that was better.

If he thought I pitied him, that would make matters worse. But I couldn’t let him back away from the fragile bond we had out of some mistaken sense that he was making things easier on me.

I took a step closer. “You said I needed to practice saying no. How can I if you won’t ask for anything?” He looked up and I held his gaze. “I’d rather you ask, or tell me what you want, than make me guess. I’m no good at guessing.” I took another step.

I read longing in his face, but the hesitation lingered, too, and his voice came out low and raw. “You make me want to be the best man I can be.”

I eased myself down onto his lap. “I’m glad. But I don’t want to wait until you get there. I’d rather help you along the way.” I pressed a kiss to his temple and felt him relax. But I couldn’t stop yet.

“You once told me not to make you a hero. Don’t make me a saint. I’m as flawed and messed up as you are. Maybe more. I’m trying to figure out how to be an adult, how to handle my mother, how to help my brother. When to do things on my own and when to ask for help. Who to trust. I don’t have the answers, just a lot of questions. But maybe we can figure things out together?”

“Yes.” He put his arms around me and rested his head against my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m in some pain today. It makes me cranky and discouraged. It makes me doubt myself and the people around me.”

He nestled me close with a sigh. “But being with you makes me feel like I’m home.” He gave a short laugh. “Maybe I should clarify that, since you’ve met my parents. It’s the feeling I had when I got back to American soil. When I flew into Albuquerque and saw the mountains and desert spread out below before we landed. When I got back to town and knew this is where I belong, after trying so hard to get away. It’s how I feel here, with Gran and Daniel.”

I rubbed my hand over his chest and shoulder, needing to touch. “I’m flattered. But….”

He shifted so we could see each other better. “What?”

I glanced away and then met his eyes. “You do realize that may be why you like me. The girl next door, so to speak. A memory of home.” I stopped myself from adding, “nothing more” and prayed it wasn’t true. I forced myself to hold his gaze. I could feel my heart beat, but I couldn’t breathe.

Finally he spoke. “It might have started like that. But there’s always been something about you that called to me, even in high school. A sweetness, an honesty. Your face shows everything you’re thinking.” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I bet you’re a terrible liar.”

I made a face. “So I’m told.”

He chuckled. “I like that. I’m tired of secrets and being careful of what I can say and how I can say it.”

“You mean the military?”

“Yes, and before that, my parents, and high school. I’m tired of trying to fit in, keeping things buried, pretending everything is okay when it’s not. I can’t do that anymore if I’m going to stay sober. I have to be honest with myself, so I need someone who will be honest with me.”

I brushed my fingers down his cheek. “Apparently I’m not capable of being dishonest, at least for long, so I guess that works. And I need someone who will encourage me to talk, to say what I really think. Otherwise I tend to freeze up and keep quiet.” I cradled his cheek in my hand, enjoying the faint rough stubble against my palm. “You do that for me.”

“Then maybe we can make this work.” He squeezed me tighter and a glint lit his eyes. “And besides, you’re really pretty. Plus, breasts. Can’t go wrong there.”

I chuckled and leaned in to nuzzle his neck. “And you smell really good. That drives me wild.”

“What more could we ask for? It sounds like the perfect basis for a relationship.”

Everybody went to the big game hunt day. Mom and Ricky, Nancy, Daniel, and Kyle, Eslinda and Nascha, and a good portion of the town.

Well, maybe not everyone. I didn’t see Jay, his father, or Rodrigo. When I asked Eslinda if she’d heard anything, she said Jay and Rodrigo had officially been fired, and Jay’s father was taking vacation time. Nascha added that Jay and Rodrigo had been arrested but Jay at least had been released on bail.

I scanned the crowd again, glad that Jay was tall and would stand out. “Great, now I’ll be looking over my shoulder all the time.” I wanted to believe that Jay would back off, but his prior behavior made it equally likely he would try to get revenge.

“He can’t afford to harass you,” Nascha said. “Not with the police keeping an eye on him.”

“I hope he realizes that,” I muttered.

“Don’t worry. When I reported the drugs, I told the police that Jay had been bothering you. They promised to warn him to keep his distance. He knows he has to be a model citizen to have any chance of avoiding jail. Plus, they’ll be asking questions about cut brake lines and Bethany Moore. That should keep him busy. And it’s the same with Rodrigo.
His
best chance is to pretend he was following Jay’s orders and either didn’t know the plants were marijuana, or didn’t know about them at all.”

I relaxed a little, though my shoulders still felt tight. “So I only have to deal with Jay’s father.”

Eslinda put her hands on her hips. “Lewis Preppard will be busy trying to hold onto his job and keep his son out of jail. It won’t be easy to do both. If Lewis defends Jay too strongly, people are going to wonder if he was involved, too. The directors are already hinting that an early retirement might be appropriate.”

My shoulders dropped a little more. It wasn’t over, but at least I had friends—and the law—on my side. “I hope you’re both right. But I still can’t quite figure out how I got into all this. Each step seemed logical enough at the time, but when combined with what other people were doing and some random events, suddenly I’ve uncovered a murder and a drug ring.”

Eslinda frowned. “Is it a ring if there were only two of them?” She came across as a little flaky, but I’d seen how she orchestrated big events, keeping on top of a thousand details and handling glitches with a smile.

“I bet people underestimate you all the time.”

She giggled. “It makes it easier to get what you want. Anyway, this whole thing. Murder and drugs and getting involved. You do what you have to do. You can’t do more, you shouldn’t do less.”

She smiled, her round face cheerful and comforting “It reminds me of a song I like. ‘Did you stand up for what’s right? Can you sleep at night? To your own heart be true, or regret what you failed to do.’ I think of that when I’m tempted to be lazy or take the easy way out.” She put her hand on my arm. “You didn’t back away from trouble. You don’t have to regret the things you didn’t do—which is often harder than regretting the things you did.”

I’d have to think about that. For the moment, I gave in to impulse and hugged her. “Thanks.”

“You’ll be all right,” she said. “Now on to more important things. I want to meet that interesting lady with the bird.”

We wove our way through the growing crowd. The fair looked like the summer festival the week before, with lots of food stands smelling of hot grease and cooking meat. Kids lined up for the duck shooting carnival game. A big tent provided shade for vendors advertising guns, ammo, and tour packages, and nonprofit groups or government representatives giving out information on wildlife conservation and hunting regulations.

Tribal members from the Reservation answered questions about their displays of traditional weapons, animal pelts, and blankets woven from turkey feathers. A wall of hay bales had been set up along the trees, and volunteers were helping kids and a few adults attempt to use atlatls, ancient spear throwers.

All in all, the event had a nice family-friendly feel, more educational than “let’s go kill things.” Nancy had set up under a small shade tent, and she had a crowd of admirers taking pictures of her beautiful rescued falcon.

Kyle kept a low profile but always seemed to be where he was needed, fetching an icy water bottle or answering visitors’ questions while I took Nancy into the side entrance of the resort so she wouldn’t have to use the portable toilets.

He joined Mom, Ricky, and me for a lunch of buffalo burgers and withstood Mom’s probing with a quiet humor that didn’t escape her notice. When we finished eating and rose to join the fray again, Mom turned to me and nodded once. I took that as a sign of approval. Disapproval wouldn’t have stopped me from dating Kyle, but this made it easier.

Kyle and I stole a moment together while Nancy let Ricky try on the falconer’s glove and Mom watched. “You’re probably going to be exhausted tonight,” Kyle said, stroking his hand lightly down my arm.

I leaned closer instinctively, even though I wanted to avoid obvious public displays of affection while on the job. “Yes. But I’d still like to see you. Just don’t expect brilliant conversation.” I could think of a few things we could do that didn’t involve talking at all.

“How about a quiet dinner at my place, followed by some quiet cuddling?”

The energy sparked between us. “I have a feeling that might not stay so quiet. And that wasn’t a complaint.” I glanced at Mom, Ricky, and Nancy. Daniel had wandered off to talk to friends. As much as I cared for all of them, I wanted to be alone with Kyle that night—completely alone. They might suspect we were fooling around, but that didn’t mean I wanted to advertise it.