What to expect when you're expecting (9 page)

Rev up the romance.
Pee-on-a-stick ovulation tests and the pressure to perform (now!) can make sex seem too much like hard work. So bring fun back into the bedroom. Turn up the heat—and not just your basal temperature—with a sexy little nightie, a steamy movie, a sex toy or two, a round of strip poker or nude twister, a new position (kama sutra will be considerably trickier once that belly gets in the way), a new location (serve yourself up on the dining table), or a new tactic (hot fudge on each other instead of on ice cream). Adventurous isn’t in your comfort zone? Ratchet up the romance with a moonlight stroll, dinner by candlelight, cuddling in front of the fireplace.

Stay on the same page.
Worried that your spouse is more interested in charting the stock market than helping you chart your basal body temperature? Get the feeling that he’s blasé about baby making? Go easy on him. Just because he might not be obsessing over ovulation or going ga-ga every time he passes a baby boutique doesn’t mean he’s not as eager as you are to get the baby show on the road. Maybe he’s just being a guy (laid-back, instead of worked up). Maybe he’s just keeping his tension about conception to himself (so he doesn’t stress you out, too). Maybe he’s focusing on the business end of baby making (he’s working longer hours because he’s concerned about providing a nest egg for the nestling you’ll be creating). Either way, remember that taking the plunge into parenthood is a huge step for both of you—but that you’re taking it as a team. To stay on the same page (even if you’re using different words), communicate as you try to procreate. You’ll both feel better knowing you’re in this together—even if you’re approaching it a little differently.

Take a prenatal vitamin.
Even if you’re eating plenty of foods high in folic acid, it’s still recommended that you take a pregnancy supplement containing 400 mcg of the vitamin, preferably beginning two months before you try to conceive. Another good reason to start taking a prenatal supplement preconception: Research indicates that women who take a daily multivitamin containing at least 10 mg of vitamin B
6
before becoming pregnant or during the first weeks of pregnancy experience fewer episodes of vomiting and nausea during pregnancy. The supplement should also contain 15 mg of zinc, which may improve fertility. Stop taking other nutritional supplements before conceiving, however, since excesses of certain nutrients can be hazardous.

Get your weight in check.
Being overweight or very underweight not only reduces the chances of conception, but, if you do conceive, weight problems can increase the risk of pregnancy complications. So add or cut calories in the preconception period as needed. If you’re trying to lose weight, be sure to do so slowly and sensibly, even if it means putting off conception for another couple of months. Strenuous or nutritionally unbalanced dieting (including low-carbohydrate, high-protein diets) can make conception elusive and can result in a nutritional deficit, which probably isn’t the best way to start your pregnancy. If you’ve been extreme dieting recently, start eating normally and give your body a few months to get back into balance before you try to conceive.

Shape up, but keep cool.
A good exercise program can put you on the right track for conception, plus it will tone and strengthen your muscles in preparation for the challenging tasks of carrying and delivering your baby-to-be. It will also help you take off excess weight. Don’t overdo that good thing, though, because excessive exercise (especially if it leads to an extremely lean body) can interfere with ovulation—and if you don’t ovulate, you can’t conceive. And keep your cool during workouts: Prolonged increases in body temperature can interfere with conception. (Avoid hot tubs, saunas, and direct exposure to heating pads and electric blankets for the same reason.)

Check your medicine cabinet.
Some—though far from all—medications are considered unsafe for use during pregnancy. If you’re taking any medications now (regularly or once in a while, prescription or over-the-counter), ask your practitioner about their safety during preconception and pregnancy. If you need to switch a regular medication that isn’t safe to a substitute that is, now’s the time to do it.

Herbal or other alternative medications shouldn’t necessarily move front and center in your medicine cabinet, either. Herbs are natural, but natural doesn’t automatically signal safe. What’s more, some popular herbs—such as echinacea, ginkgo biloba, or St. John’s wort—can interfere with conception. Do not take any such products or supplements without the approval of a doctor familiar with herbals and alternative medicines and their potential effect on conception and pregnancy.

Cut back on caffeine.
There’s no need to drop that latte (or switch to decaf) if you’re planning on becoming pregnant or even once you become pregnant. Most experts believe that up to two cups of caffeinated coffee (or the equivalent in other caffeinated beverages) a day is fine. If your habit involves more than that, though, it would be smart to start moderating. Some studies have linked downing too much of the stuff to lowered fertility.

Pinpointing Ovulation

Knowing when the Big O (ovulation) occurs is key when doing the Baby Dance (aka trying to conceive). Here are a few ways to help you pin down the big day—and pin each other down for baby-making activities.

Watch the calendar.
Ovulation most often occurs halfway through your menstrual cycle. The average cycle lasts 28 days, counting from the first day of one period (day 1) to the first day of the next period. But as with everything pregnancy related, there’s a wide range of normal when it comes to menstrual cycles (they can run anywhere from 23 days to 35 days), and your own cycle may vary slightly from month to month. By keeping a menstrual calendar for a few months, you can get an idea of what’s normal for you. (And when you become pregnant, this calendar will help give you a better estimate of your baby’s due date.) If your periods are irregular, you’ll need to be more alert for other signs of ovulation (see below).

Take your temperature.
Keeping track of your basal body temperature, or BBT (you’ll need a special basal body thermometer to do this), can help you pinpoint ovulation. Your BBT is the baseline reading you get first thing in the morning, after at least three to five hours of sleep and before you get out of bed, talk, or even sit up. Your BBT changes throughout your cycle, reaching its lowest point at ovulation and then rising dramatically (about half a degree) within a day or so after ovulation occurs. Keep in mind that charting your BBT will not enable you to predict the day you ovulate, but rather it gives you evidence of ovulation two to three days after it has occurred. Over a few months, it will help you to see a pattern to your cycles, enabling you to predict when ovulation will occur in future cycles.

Check your underwear.
Another sign you can be alert for is the appearance, increase in quantity, and change in consistency of cervical mucus (the stuff that gets your underwear all sticky). After your period ends, don’t expect much, if any, cervical mucus. As the cycle proceeds, you’ll notice an increase in the amount of mucus with an often white or cloudy appearance—and if you try to stretch it between your fingers, it’ll break apart. As you get closer to ovulation, this mucus becomes even more copious, but now it’s thinner, clearer, and has a slippery consistency similar to an egg white. If you try to stretch it between your fingers, you’ll be able to pull it into a string a few inches long before it breaks (how’s that for fun in the bathroom?). This is yet another sign of impending ovulation, as well as a sign that it’s time to get out of the bathroom and get busy in the bedroom. Once ovulation occurs, you may either become dry again or develop a thicker discharge. Combined with cervical position (see below) and BBT on a
single chart, cervical mucus can be an extremely useful (if slightly messy) tool in pinpointing the day on which you are most likely to ovulate—and it does so in plenty of time for you to do something about it.

Get to know your cervix.
As your body senses the hormone shifts that indicate an egg is about to be released from the ovary, it begins to ready itself for incoming hordes of sperm to give the egg its best chance of getting fertilized. One detectable sign of oncoming ovulation is the position of the cervix itself. During the beginning of a cycle, your cervix—that necklike passage between your vagina and uterus that has to stretch during birth to accommodate your baby’s head—is low, hard, and closed. But as ovulation approaches, it pulls back up, softens a bit, and opens just a little to let the sperm through on their way to their target. Some women can easily feel these changes, others have a tougher time. If you’re game to try, check your cervix daily, using one or two fingers, and keep a chart of your observations.

Stay tuned in
. If you’re like 20 percent of women, your body will let you know when ovulation is taking place by sending a bulletin in the form of a twinge of pain or a series of cramps in your lower abdominal area (usually localized to one side, the side where you’re ovulating). Called mittelschmerz—German for “middle pain”—this monthly reminder of fertility is thought to be the result of the maturation or release of an egg from an ovary.

Pee on a stick
. Ovulation predictor kits (OPKs) are able to pinpoint your date of ovulation 12 to 24 hours in advance by measuring levels of luteinizing hormone, or LH, which is the last of the hormones to hit its peak before ovulation actually occurs. All you have to do is pee on a stick and wait for the indicator to tell you whether you’re about to ovulate (talk about easy).

Watch your watch
. Another option in the ovulation test arsenal is a device you wear on your wrist that detects the numerous salts (chloride, sodium, potassium) in your sweat, which differ during different times of the month. Called the chloride ion surge, this shift happens even before the estrogen and the LH surge, so these chloride ion tests give a woman a four-day window of when she may be ovulating, versus the 12 to 24-hour window that the standard pee-on-a-stick OPKs provide. The key to success in using this latest technology is to make sure to get an accurate baseline of your ion levels (which means you’ll need to wear the device on your wrist for at least six continuous hours to get a proper baseline).

Spit a little
. Another ovulation predictor is a saliva test, which tests the levels of estrogen in your saliva as ovulation nears. When you’re ovulating, a look at your saliva under the test’s eyepiece will reveal a microscopic pattern that resembles the leaves of a fern plant or frost on a windowpane. Not all women get a good “fern,” but this test, which is reusable, can be cheaper than those pee-on sticks.

Cut down on alcohol.
Start thinking before drinking. Although a daily drink will not be harmful in your pregnancy-preparation phase, heavy alcohol consumption can interfere with fertility by disrupting your menstrual cycle. Plus, once you’re actively trying to conceive, there’s always the possibility that you’ll have succeeded—and drinking during pregnancy isn’t recommended.

Quit smoking.
Did you know that smoking can not only interfere with fertility but also cause your eggs to age? That’s right—a 30-year-old smoker’s eggs act more like 40-year-old eggs, making conception more difficult and miscarriage more likely. Kicking the habit now is not only the best gift you can give your baby-to-be (before and after birth), but it can make it more likely that you’ll conceive that baby-to-be. For some practical tips to help you quit, check out
pages 74
–75.

Conception Misconceptions

You’ve heard plenty of old wives’—and new Internet—tales about how best to make a baby. Here are a few that are ready to be taken off the circuit:

Myth:
Having sex every day will decrease sperm count, making conception more elusive.