What to Expect the Toddler Years (62 page)

. . . will probably be able to:

“feed” a doll

use 6 words

walk up steps

. . . may possibly be able to:

build a tower of 4 cubes

identify 2 pictures by pointing

. . . may even be able to:

name 6 body parts (by 18½ months)

wash and dry hands

*The nineteenth month begins when a child is eighteen months old and ends when he or she is nineteen months old.

“Our daughter has been in a big bed since her new brother arrived, and now she wanders around the house in the middle of the night. We’re worried about her safety. What should we do?”

Whether she’s learned how to scale the walls of her crib or has been having an easy time escaping from the minimum security of a big bed, the toddler on the prowl at night is a toddler at risk. Minimize the risks by taking these precautions:

Make her immediate surroundings safe.
Survey your toddler’s room or sleeping area to be sure it is child-safe (see page 622). Hot radiators, electric fans that aren’t childproof, and other dangers should be
completely
out of reach (remember, your toddler is a good climber). Move out of the way furniture she can bump into, rugs and toys she can trip over, cords she can stumble across (especially if they’re attached to lamps she can pull over). Install window guards on all windows, and secure cords from window blinds out of reach. Unless she is more likely to stay in her bed in a darkened room, add a night-light to help your toddler see her way around in the dark and to prevent nocturnal collisions.

Close the escape route.
To keep your toddler in her room, you can either close the door or use a gate across the open doorway. The gate arrangement is probably less frightening to a child because it allows her to see out and doesn’t cut her off completely from the rest of the family. You could start with one gate (be sure it meets safety standards, page 634), but the odds are that a toddler who can climb out of her crib can also clamber over a gate. By adding a second gate directly above the first, you eliminate this possibility. (The gates are easy to set up and are removable in seconds if you must get to your toddler in a hurry.) With an older child you can make a deal: If you stay in your bed, we will keep the door open (or the gate down).

Be sure there’s a night-light on in the hall, a gate across any stairs, no access to the kitchen, and a hook-and-eye locking the bathroom door, in case your toddler should somehow slip from her room. (Once a child is out of his or her diapers at night, the route to the bathroom will have to be opened. Then safety precautions will have to extend to the hallway and any other accessible spaces.)

Go to her instead of letting her come to you
. It often seems easier to allow a toddler who is frightened of staying alone (or who just doesn’t want to stay alone) to come into your bed than to risk a major middle-of-the-night battle. But in the long run, since it rewards the child for waking up (and waking you), it could cause more trouble than it prevents. So if your toddler gets out of bed or climbs out of her crib in the middle of the night, return her with little comment, and tuck her back in. Sit near her bed for a bit if she seems frightened, patting her back, and reassuring her that everything’s okay. But don’t start a conversation, turn on lights, or lie down with her. (If you can, take turns with your spouse to make it a little less wearing.) Your message is that nighttime is for sleeping and that’s what you expect her to do. Act as though you believe she can do it, even if you secretly have your doubts.

For the toddler experiencing nightmares or night terrors, see page 312; for a sleep walker, see page 315.

“Our son is very tall for his age and very agile. Now we’re afraid he will try to climb out of his crib in the middle of the night. Is that a possibility? What should we do if it is?”

Although the average nineteen-month-old is 32 to 34 inches tall, some toddlers of this age are much closer to the 36 inches usually required for a successful escape from the crib. If your child has reached 36 inches or is quickly inching toward it, such an escape is possible any time now.

Since scaling the crib’s railing can result not only in freedom for the escapee but a large bump on his head (or worse), you’re wise to start thinking about protective measures now. Be sure that the crib mattress is at the lowest setting and that the sides are always safely locked in the “up” position. Never leave in the crib anything (a pile of toys, pillows, even a large stuffed animal) that your toddler might use as a stepladder to help him scale the sides of the crib. As an added precaution, pad the escape route with something (an old quilt or sofa cushions, for example) that will soften the landing should your toddler make it over the side. If he does manage an escape, it may be a good idea to dis-mantle the crib and remove everything from the room but the mattress. Place the mattress on the floor, one side wedged up against the wall, until you get a bed set up. Another option is to make the crib escape-proof with a net-covered tent, available through some catalogs and juvenile furnishings stores. The contraption fits over the sides of the crib and contains the toddler while allowing adult access from the outside through a zipper opening. Some toddlers will relish being secured nightly in this cocoon-like setting (especially if you emphasize its “coziness” and “little-house” qualities), but others will resist the confinement.

A more permanent option is to move up graduation from the crib to a bed. While most children make this transition at around age two, a child who is on the verge of climbing out of the crib is a good candidate for earlier graduation. If you decide to take this option, see page 318 for how to make the transition a happy one.

For the toddler who’s given to night wandering, a tent-like covering for the crib can provide safety and a comfortingly snug environment.