What to Expect the First Year (93 page)

There just aren't enough waking hours in the day for a busy 8-month-old who's on the go—or attempting to be on the go. Baby's not only a mover and shaker, but a budding comedian who'll do anything for a laugh, an avid mimic who delights in copying sounds you make (warning: all sounds), and a born performer. (“And for an encore, I think I'll do another round of fake coughs—always a crowd pleaser!”) That amazing noggin's starting to make sense of complex concepts that previously caused it to draw a blank, making for more sophisticated interactions and play. Case in point, object permanence: “Mommy's not really gone when she peekaboos from behind a diaper … she's just goofing on me.” But all this new maturity doesn't come only with more fun and games—it can also come with stranger anxiety. Once happy in just about any pair of cozy arms, many 8-month-old babies suddenly become pretty picky about the company they keep. Only mommy, daddy, and maybe a favorite sitter need apply.

Baby Basics at a Glance: Ninth Month

Sleeping.
Babies this age sleep an average of 10 to 12 hours per night and take two naps during the day, each around 1½ to 2 hours long, for a total of 14 to 15 hours each day.

Eating.
Breast milk and formula are still the most important part of baby's diet, but baby's taking in more and more solids each day.

• Breast milk. Your baby will nurse around 4 to 5 times a day (some babies will nurse more often). Baby will be drinking somewhere between 24 and 30 ounces of breast milk a day, though as more solids are added to the diet, baby will drink less.

• Formula. You baby will probably down 3 to 4 bottles a day, filled with 7 to 8 ounces of formula, for a total of 24 to 30 ounces per day. As more solids are added to the diet, baby will drink less.

• Solids. As baby becomes a more experienced eater, expect anywhere from 4 to 9 tablespoons of cereal, fruit, and vegetables each per day, spread out over 2 to 3 meals. As protein foods are added, baby may eat anywhere from 1 to 6 tablespoons of meat, chicken, fish, tofu, eggs, or beans per day. More grains (like quinoa or brown rice) and dairy products (cheese or yogurt) may also add protein to baby's repertoire.

Playing.
Baby will continue to play with toys that encourage pulling up to standing (look for sturdy ones that won't tip over), sorting and stacking toys (different-colored foam blocks, for instance, or rings of different sizes), toys with buttons, levers, and dials (like busy boards or activity cubes and tables), toys that make sounds when baby presses a button or pulls on a short string, balls large and small, foam blocks, stuffed animals, and books. Toys that encourage language development (toys that “talk” or respond to words) are a nice addition at this age.

Has the novelty of feeding your baby pureed mush worn off already? You're not the only one fed up with spoon-feeding. Your baby probably is, too. Witness his willfully clenched lips … or the way she turns her head away just at the critical moment (splat!) … or how his pudgy hands intercept and overturn the spoon just before it reaches its destination (more splat!).

Happily, it's time to serve up a change—and introduce a new utensil to the feeding mix: baby's fingers. Most eager beaver babies are able to trade in that spoon and trade up for finger foods by the time they are 7 to 8 months old. And once they discover that foods of all kinds can be transported to their mouths by hand (and fingers), self-feeding becomes the name of the game … and ultimately, the only game in town.

But the transition from spoon to fingers won't happen overnight. It's a process—a process that can be messy and frustrating on both sides of the high chair. Even if your baby has spent much of his or her young life trying to take on the world by mouth, trying to figure out the mechanics of maneuvering food to mouth is challenging. Most babies start out by holding their food in their fists, not having learned yet to coordinate individual fingers for pickup and transport. Some learn to open the hand flat against the mouth, while others put their food down and pick it up again with more of it exposed—strategies that can consume a lot of time but often don't result in the consuming of
much food. As your baby perfects the pincer grasp (usually between 9 and 12 months), his or her ability to hold smaller objects (like peas and small pasta shapes) between thumb and forefinger will improve—considerably expanding the menu and the amount of self-feeding that can practically be done.

Which first finger foods should you hand over to your baby? Look for consistency that can be gummed before swallowing or that will dissolve easily in the mouth—no chewing should be necessary (whether or not your little one has been visited by the tooth fairy). Start with foods that have been well received in pureed form on a spoon, serving them up in manageable cubes or chunks—pea-size for firmer items, marble-size for softer foods. Good choices include:

• Whole-grain bread, bagel, or toast, rice cakes or other crackers that become mushy when gummed

• Cubes of whole-grain French toast, waffles, or pancakes

• Oat circle cereals, baby puffs

• Tiny cubes of cheese, or shredded cheese

• Small cubes of tofu

• Ripe avocado slices

• Chunks of ripe banana, very ripe pear, peach, apricot, cantaloupe, honey-dew, kiwi, and mango

• Blueberries (squish them first so they're not whole)

• Small chunks of cooked-to-tender carrot, white or sweet potato, yam, broccoli or cauliflower florets, and peas (cut in half or crushed)

• Flakes of baked or poached fish (but screen carefully for bones)

• Soft meatballs (cooked in sauce or soup so they don't get crusty)

• Small pieces of cooked chicken or turkey

• Well-cooked pasta of various sizes and shapes (break up before or cut after cooking, as necessary)

• Well-cooked smashed beans and lentils

• Scrambled or hard-cooked eggs

To serve finger foods, scatter four or five pieces onto an unbreakable plate or directly onto baby's feeding tray, and add more as baby eats them. Beginning eaters confronted by too much food, especially all in one spot, may respond either by trying to stuff all of it into their mouths at once or by sending it all to the floor with one high chair–clearing swipe—a good reason to serve it up slowly. As with other foods, finger foods should be fed only to a baby who is seated, and not to one who is crawling, cruising, or toddling around.

Are those yummy soft finger foods (that mango, that avocado, the tofu)
slipping and sliding in your baby's pudgy fingers? Grind Cheerios or other whole-grain cereal, wheat germ, or whole-grain crackers into a fine powder and then coat the foods with the “dust.” It'll make it easier for your little one to grab hold of and munch on (plus it'll boost the health factor of the foods).

Finger foods shouldn't be the only new delicacies on your baby's menu. You can also start to add more texture to the foods you spoon-feed your little one. You can turn to store-bought “stage 3” foods or mash baby's meals from what you serve the family: Instead of strained applesauce, consider serving the chunky variety. Serve smashed baked sweet potato instead of pureed. Spoon up thicker oatmeal instead of the thin baby kind. Think about mashed small-curd whole-milk cottage cheese or ricotta, scraped apple or pear (scrape tiny bits of fruit into a dish with a knife), mashed or coarsely pureed cooked fruit with the skin removed (apples, apricots, peaches, and plums, for example), and soft-cooked vegetables (such as carrots, sweet and white potatoes, cauliflower, and winter squash). Watch out for strings from fruits (such as bananas and mangoes) and vegetables (such as broccoli, string beans, and kale), and sinew or gristly bits from meats. And be sure to check fish very carefully for bones that might be left after mashing.

Crackers that get mushy in the mouth are perfect for newbie self-feeders.

“Whenever I sit down to breastfeed my son, he seems to want to do something else—play with the buttons on my shirt, pull up on my hair, look at the TV, anything but nurse.”

Remember the early months when your newborn's whole world seemed to revolve around your breasts? When his adorable mouth would root and pucker as soon as he caught a whiff of mama's milk? When nothing spelled bliss like being at your breast, cuddled in your arms, contentedly lapsing in and out of a sweet, sticky, smiley milk stupor? Well, that was then and this is now. While there are plenty of babies who remain passionate about breastfeeding throughout the first year and significantly beyond, there are others who begin to get a little antsy at their once-favorite milk station starting somewhere around the ninth month. Some simply refuse the breast entirely, while others nurse seriously for a minute or two before pulling away—distracted by a passing shadow, the cat slinking by, a sudden urge to practice pulling up (maybe on mommy's hair)—or just the realization that time spent cooped up in mama's arms is time not spent banging blocks, yanking cushions off the sofa, or otherwise being busy.

Sometimes this baby breast boycott is just transient. Maybe your little one is going through a readjustment in his nutritional needs (especially if he's taking more solids), or perhaps he's put off by the funky taste of your breast milk brought on by hormonal changes during your period or from the garlic bread you toasted Friday night. Or maybe a virus or a bout of teething has him balking at breast business as usual.

More likely, it's busyness that's keeping him from getting busy at the breast—with a world of distractions, breastfeeding faces a lot of compelling competition for his attention. What's not likely to be the cause of your baby's breastfeeding ban? Readiness for weaning. Even if he may think he's ready to move on—or at least move on to other, more interesting activities, especially during the day—babies continue to do best on breast milk (supplemented with solids) until at least their first birthday, when whole cow's milk in a cup can start standing in. And even then, many toddlers (and their moms) continue to make time in their busy schedules for breastfeeding—if mainly for the pure pleasure of it.

So don't automatically wave the nursing scarf of surrender—instead, stay focused on riding out this late-stage nursing strike, striking back with these tips:

• Try some peace and quiet. An increasingly curious 8- or 9-month-old baby is easily distracted—by the TV (even on mute), the sound of a text coming in, a passing siren, a dog barking next door … and of course, by just about any bright, shiny object. To maximize baby's concentration on breast business, nurse in a dimly lit, quiet room. Power off anything that might divert him, your phone included. Stroke him and cuddle him gently as he nurses, to relax him.