What to Expect the First Year (83 page)

Wearing your baby snuggled against your chest is undeniably yummy (just smell that sweetness!). It's also convenient (or more like indispensable) when you'd like your baby close and your hands free. What's more, those snuggles are important for your baby, both emotionally and physically.

But at some point, your baby may signal that he or she is eager for a little more freedom of movement and a lot more perspective—at least, more than a parent's chest can offer. The inward-facing position, as perfect as it is for young babies, may get old fast after 6 months or so. Especially when there's something interesting to see—say, at the aquarium, the zoo, or the park (dog ahead! birds overhead! flowers on your left!). Enter the front-carrying position—which, depending on the carrier you've been using for inward-facing, may mean flipping your baby to front-facing, or, if your carrier doesn't offer a facing-out option, investing in a multipurpose carrier that does.

That is, unless you've heard some unsettling reports on carrying a baby facing forward—in which case you may be understandably hesitant to make the switch. Maybe you've heard that carrying your baby facing forward in a baby carrier is unsafe for your little one's hips and spine. Or that it could be overstimulating. Or under-nurturing.

Happily, there isn't any scientific evidence to support those theories—at least, once a baby is old enough (usually at about 5 or 6 months) to appreciate a front-facing view of the world—and smart enough to tell you how much front-facing is too much. To set the record straight, here are some front-facing facts:

Myth:
Facing forward in a baby carrier places too much stress on your baby's crotch and lower spine because it shifts his or her center of gravity.

Fact:
A baby's body isn't like an adult's. In fact, baby's head is much larger relative to body size, making the weight distribution very different from that of an adult. Consequently, what may seem uncomfortable (or dangerous) for an adult (being “dangled by the crotch”) doesn't apply to an infant. In fact, with a baby, the brunt of his or her body weight isn't felt in the seat, but rather is distributed throughout the upper back, neck, and head. There are no studies demonstrating that forward-facing carrying puts too much stress on a baby's spine when baby's legs are spread out and hips are spread apart, as per the manufacturer's instructions. And despite the increase in parents using forward-facing carriers, there has not been a corresponding increase in spine and crotch injuries among infants.

Myth:
Forward-facing baby carriers can cause hip dysplasia.

Fact:
Hip dysplasia, a condition where the bones of the hip joints do not align correctly, is congenital (meaning it's present from birth), though it usually isn't diagnosed until later in infancy. The theory that baby carriers cause
hip dysplasia is not supported by any studies or scientific evidence, and most experts agree the carriers don't (and can't) cause that condition. And again, even with an increase in the use of front-facing baby carriers, there hasn't been a corresponding increase in hip dysplasia cases. In fact, when used properly (making sure your baby is held in the carrier with his or her legs spread out as per the manufacturer's instructions, and/or choosing a carrier that has a structured bucket seat, ensuring that the correct squat-leg sitting position is maintained even in the front-facing position), the hips are abducted (held apart), and that's the ideal way to keep your baby's hips developing properly.

Myth:
The best way to prevent hip problems in a baby is to wear baby in a sling.

Fact:
Slings come with a slew of benefits—but they, like other carriers, can do harm if they're not used correctly. Studies show that when babies are carried papoose-style (with legs together) or in a sling with their legs straight and together, or when babies are swaddled tightly with their legs pulled straight and together, there's an increased risk of improper hip development. Luckily, minimizing that risk is as easy as proper positioning. When you put your baby in a sling (or swaddle), make sure you leave room to allow the hips and knees to move freely. Also remember, switching positions ensures not only a different vantage point for baby, but an opportunity for him or her to flex different bones, muscles, joints, and ligaments—so they all get the workout they need.

Myth:
The forward-facing position can result in baby being overstimulated by the view and unable to nuzzle into your body to avoid looking at something overwhelming. Plus, you won't be able to tune in when your baby's upset or stressed out because he or she is facing out.

Fact:
Whether you're strolling down the street or the aisles of a supermarket, it's a busy world out there—sometimes too busy for a young baby, whose brand new circuits can easily be overloaded by stimuli. Once babies have clocked in 5 or 6 months on the planet, however, many are not only ready but eager to absorb more of their surroundings. Facing a parent's chest is still comforting and cozy, but it may not always provide enough of the stimulation an older baby's in the market for. Switching off between an inward-facing position and an outward-facing one allows your little one to cash in on both the comfort he or she still needs and the interesting sights and sounds he or she now wants. Stay tuned in to your baby while you're carrying him or her front-facing, and you'll be able to notice signs that he or she is uncomfortable or overstimulated, tired, or zoning out (crying, turning the head away, fussing). That's your cue to flip baby around to inward-facing. Keep front-facing time limited to periods your baby can handle, be sure to interact while he or she is facing out (point out those interesting sights and sounds, sing or chat, squeeze those little hands and stroke those chubby legs, and of course, plant plenty of kisses on that sweet head), and you'll both enjoy the ride—without any developmental downside.

The babysitter says your baby's an angel—feeds like a pro, naps like a champ, smiles for miles. Which makes the wailing that starts the minute the sitter walks out the door (or the minute you walk out of daycare with that angel in your arms) all the more disheartening, leaving you to wonder, “Is it me?”

Actually, it is you—and that's a good thing. The fact that most older babies (and toddlers … and even older children) are more likely to crank up the crankies with their parents than with other care providers is a sign of comfort and security. Your love is a sure thing—something your little one can count on receiving in spades even when those true-blue colors show through.

Timing may also have something to do with the meltdown. Your homecoming probably coincides with what's typically a baby's fussiest time of the day—early evening—when fatigue, overstimulation, and hunger can get the best of even the most cheerful cherub. After a hard day on the job and possibly a difficult commute, you may be frazzled on your return, too—something baby's keen mood radar is sure to pick up on. Your high stress level intensifies your baby's, and his or hers reinforces yours—and pretty soon you've both got a bad case of the crabbies. Add the distraction factor—understandably, you have more things to focus on when you walk in the door than your baby (like changing your clothes or starting dinner)—and you're keying up for baby's cries for attention by the time you've dropped your keys. Are you nursing on reentry? Your milk supply may be at its lowest point of the day, definitely not a high point for your hungry baby. And finally, change isn't something that all babies believe in—especially older ones—which means that this changing of the guardians may be unsettling in and of itself.

To ease the transition when you return home each night, try the following tips:

• Don't come home to a hungry, tired baby. Have feeds timed so you'll both have a chance to unwind before it's time to refill (just make sure, if you're breastfeeding, that your baby won't have sucked down a bottle right before you arrive home with full breasts—instead, have the care provider offer a solids snack to take the edge off that tender appetite without sabotaging it entirely). Same when it comes to sleep. A nap later in the afternoon may also help keep the crankies at bay, but make sure baby's not napping so late that he or she won't be able to settle down at a reasonable hour.

• Relax before you return. If you've been stuck in traffic for an hour, sit in your car and do a few relaxation exercises before you walk in the door. Instead of spending your commute on the bus or train doing last-minute work on your iPad, use the time to empty your mind of worries and fill it with thoughts that soothe you—say, the image of a frozen drink on a warm beach.

• Include baby in your to-dos. Once you're both feeling more relaxed, tackle the things you need to do—but include baby. Plunk baby in the middle of your bed (supervised) or on the floor while you change your clothes. Hold baby on your lap while you answer a text. Sit baby in the high chair with a few toys while you start dinner, chatting with your cutie as you chop vegetables.

• Relax when you return. Don't rush to start dinner or fold laundry the moment you put down your bag or briefcase. Instead, take 15 minutes to unwind with your baby, offering cuddles and your completely undivided attention, if possible. If your baby seems to be the kind who hates transitions, don't rush the babysitter out the door, either. Reinsert yourself into your baby's day gradually, so that he or she can get used to the idea that a change is about to take place. When baby adjusts to you both being there, then the babysitter can exit.

• Don't take it personally. Almost all parents who work outside the home experience the homecoming meltdown. Those who have children in daycare may experience it at pickup time, on the way home, or when they arrive home. In fact, stay-at-home moms and dads may find themselves facing a similar end-of-the-day challenge, even if they've spent that whole day at home with their babies. Happy hour … it isn't.