Read What the Moon Said Online
Authors: Gayle Rosengren
She swallowed. It was cowardly, she supposed. But it was the only way she could bring herself to go inside. She shoved the envelope back into her book.
Ma was knitting in the parlor when Esther walked in. Esther pulled out her blue ribbon and waved it in the air. “Look what I've got!” she said.
Ma stopped her knitting and looked. She nodded and smiled. “Very good,” she said. Then she started knitting again.
Tears stung Esther's eyes. That was all Ma had to say? Didn't she know what a good speller someone had to be to win a blue ribbon? Well, Violet would know. Her excitement would tell Ma how special the award was.
“Look, Vi,” Esther said, thrusting the ribbon in front of her sister. “Isn't it splendid?”
But Violet was hunched over the sewing machine. She barely glanced at the ribbon. “Just a minute, Es . . . Ma? How do I refill the bobbin?”
Ma stood up and limped slowly across the room. “I will show you,” she said.
The two had their heads together, murmuring over the machine. They seemed to have forgotten Esther was even there.
She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “I'm going to my room,” she said. And when neither Ma nor Violet said anything, she climbed the stairs.
In her bedroom, Esther yanked her birthday ribbon out of her hair. She'd worn it for luck. Well, luck she'd had, but more bad than good. Esther buried the ribbon in her dresser drawer and slammed the drawer shut.
She thought of the wish she'd planned to make on her birthdayâif Violet had not burned the cake. “I wish Ma would love me and hug me like Mrs. Rubinstein hugs Shirley,” she would have wished with all her might. But she hadn't gotten to make a wish. And once Ma saw the note about Esther cheating, no wishes on earth would be powerful enough to help Esther win her love. But she still had the weekend. If school ribbons couldn't impress Ma, she would just have to think of something else.
Esther paced back and forth next to the bed. Maybe she should ask for sewing lessons. Since Violet had been staying home, Ma had taught her how to use her machine. Just the night before, Ma had told Pa what a fine seamstress Violet was becoming. She had smiled at Violet with real pride.
Esther ran back downstairs. “Ma, will you teach me to sew, like Violet?” she asked. “Please.”
Ma shook her head. “You are too little,” she explained. “Your feet will not reach the treadle yet. When you are older, then I will teach.”
Esther trudged back upstairs. It might be years before she was big enough to sew, but all she had was two days.
Esther plunked herself onto the bed. “I have to think of something,” Esther said to Margaret, taking the doll on her lap. “But what?”
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That night, Esther showed Pa her ribbon. He told her it was the finest blue ribbon he had ever seen. He told her he'd never known a champion speller before, and he smiled at her proudly. Esther felt a little better. If only Ma could have been as enthusiastic as Pa.
Still, Esther was determined to impress Ma, if not with ribbons, then with hard work.
She was the first one up from the supper table that night. She carried more dishes to the sink than Ma and Violet did together, and she dried them until they squeaked. After supper she swept the kitchen floor, and when Ma didn't seem to notice, she called, “I'll just sweep off the porch, too, while I'm at it.”
But when she came back inside, Ma was talking to Pa. She didn't say, “Thank you, Esther. What a fine helper you are!” She didn't look at Esther with pride glowing in her eyes. She didn't say anything at all.
Esther was tired. She went up to bed early. But alone in the darkness, all she could think of was the note from Miss Larson. She kept imagining how horrified Ma and Pa would be when they read it. She hadn't wanted to cheat. She hadn't meant to bring shame to Ma and Pa. She hugged Margaret to her chest and sobbed into her pillow.
Maybe she should have just given them the note and gotten it over with. Putting it off was only stretching out her misery. But maybe tomorrow would be different. Maybe she would be able to make Ma and Pa proud of her for at least a little while before they found out what she'd done.
The next morning, after Esther did her chores, she brought in wood to fill the basket by the stove. She set the table for breakfast and cleared it afterward. Then she dusted the furniture in the parlor without being told. She dusted the legs and the feet of the furniture, too, not just the tops. But all Ma said was, “Shake out the cloth when you are done.”
Esther shook out the cloth. Then she shook out the rag rugs from the parlor and the kitchen. Her arms ached, and when she saw Bruno in the pasture, her heart ached, too. It was sunny and warm. How much fun a ride would be! But she went back into the house. She polished the parlor mirror with a soft cloth and vinegar. She tidied Pa's stack of seed catalogs. Then she looked around for some other job to do. “Ma, I think I'll wash the floor,” she announced on her way to the pantry for the mop.
“Nu,”
said Ma, sounding a little annoyed. “I just waxed it yesterday. Can you not tell?”
“Oh, sure,” Esther said quickly. “Of course.” Although the truth was the floor was so scarred and stained that even Ma's scrubbing and waxing could not make it shiny or bright. “Is there something else I could doâto help you?” she added.
Ma frowned in thought. “I cannot think of anything,” she said at last. “You have done everything already.” She smiled. “Youâ”
The kitchen door opened and Pa called to Ma for the peroxide. He had cut his hand working in the barn. Ma hurried to help him.
Esther felt sorry for Pa. But she felt sorry for herself, too. What had Ma been about to say?
Esther looked on as Ma bathed the cut with soap and water and then with peroxide before wrapping a bandage around it. When Pa finally headed back to the barn, Esther waited expectantly. But after Ma put away the peroxide, she took out a pot and filled it with water. She put it on the stove to hard-boil some eggs. She had forgotten whatever she was going to say to Esther.
Esther went up to her room and found Margaret. “Nothing I do seems to make any difference,” she told the doll. “Maybe that's because I'm not being honest. Maybe God is angry at me for not giving Ma and Pa the note right away. Do you think that could be it?” Margaret's china-blue eyes stared solemnly back at Esther. It was very clear to Esther what Margaret thought.
Esther sighed and took the envelope from her reader. She made herself stand straight and tall. Then she took the envelope downstairs to Ma. “It's a note from my teacher,” she said in a small voice.
Ma looked surprised, but she didn't ask what the note was about or why Esther hadn't given it to her sooner. She just tore open the envelope and began to read. Esther, burning with shame, stared at the floor and tried not to cry. When she heard the rustle of the note being folded back into the envelope, she sneaked a quick peek at Ma's face. There were two bright spots of red on her cheeks. Esther gulped and looked back at the floor. Ma was furious.
“This fine teacher of yours,” Ma said, “vill she buy these eyeglasses for you?”
Esther's head snapped up. Eyeglasses? “Wh-what do you mean, Ma?” Esther's heart did a skip and a jump. Was the letter about eyeglasses? Not cheating?
Ma tore the envelope across and then tore the pieces across one more time. “Your teacher says you cannot see vell. She says ve should buy you eyeglasses. Does she think ve are rich?” Ma sniffed. “Ve don't have money for eyeglasses. Maybe after the harvest. But not now. Your teacher should mind her own business.”
“Yes, Ma,” Esther said automatically. But what she was thinking was, Miss Larson had not told on her. She hadn't told! Relief made Esther want to laugh out loud. It was all right. Ma and Pa would not be ashamed of her after all. And she would never, ever cheat again.
She felt as if she could run three times around the pasture and do ten cartwheels in a row. She felt as light as a balloon that could sail away on the tiniest breeze.
Esther's happiness continued all through the rest of the weekend. And when Monday came, she was not ashamed to face her teacher again. She knew Miss Larson had forgiven her. But even so, she was amazed by what happened that morning in school.
When it was time for arithmetic, Miss Larson came to stand beside Esther's desk. “From now on, Esther, I want you and Wesley to come up front to copy from the board. Then you may go back to your seats to do the work. All right?”
Why, that would solve everything! “Yes, Miss Larson,” Esther said happily.
“Yes, Miss Larson,” Wesley echoed.
“Good.” The teacher started to walk away but stopped and turned back only a step from Esther's desk. “Oh, and Esther, when you finish your afternoon work, you may listen to the first-graders read aloud, one at a time, in the hallway.”
Esther felt her mouth fall open. “You mean I-I can still help teach?”
Miss Larson smiled. “Yes, Esther. If you want to.”
If she wanted to! “Oh, yes. Yes, I do!” Esther had to grip the edge of her desk to keep from jumping out of her seat, she was so happy and excited. Wait 'til I write to Julia, she thought. Wait 'til I tell her I won the spelling bee
and
I'm going to help teach! Won't she be surprised!
Esther touched the birthday ribbon in her hair. She had pulled it back out of her drawer right after Ma read Miss Larson's letter. It was a lucky ribbon after all!
July 4, 1930
Dear Julia,
I hate summer. I miss school and my friends. Vi is no fun. Ma told her she can make her own school clothes if she practices making patterns and sewing. Now that is all she does! I asked Ma if she would show me how to make patterns for clothes for Margaret. She said I am too old for dolls. Thank goodness I have Mickey to play with. He fetches sticks and runs races with me. We even play hide-and-seek. Only I am always the one to hide and Mickey always finds me.
Ma has a big vegetable garden. I help her pull weeds. How come weeds grow so much faster than vegetables? I am sorry David lost his job. I hope he finds another one fast. It has been awful hot here. If we were in Chicago, we could go to the beach with you and David. Your last letter reminded me of how much fun that is. The water is so cold, but it feels so good! Or maybe we could go to Riverview and ride the rides and watch the fireworks like we did last year. But here every day is the same. Even the Fourth of July.
Esther laid down her pencil. She knew her letter was one long grumble, but she couldn't help it. The last few days had been so terribly hot, it was hard to sleep at night, so everyone was cranky. Even Pa, who hardly ever scolded, snapped at Walter for singing at breakfast. But Esther suspected it was more than the heat that was making Pa edgy.
“The crops need rain,” she'd heard him tell Ma two days ago.
“The rain will come. Do not worry,” Ma had soothed him. But the weather had continued to be hot and sunny. There weren't even any clouds in the sky.
Esther had thought their worries would be over once they moved to the farm. Pa had a job that no one could take away from him. But in the city, if he worked, he got paid. Farmers could work and work and still not earn any money if the weather wasn't right.
In the city, Pa wasn't constantly watching the sky and he didn't worry so much about signs. Just yesterday he'd come to lunch frowning nervously. “Anna, what does it mean when you see six crows on a fence but then two more land beside them?”
Ma had stopped halfway to the table as Pa spoke. But then she came the rest of the way wearing a look of relief. “You start over again, and two is luck,” she said.
Pa sagged in his chair and grinned. “Thank goodness.”
“Crows?” Esther asked.
Ma nodded and began to chant:
“One is bad,
Two is luck,
Three is health,
Four is wealth,
Five is sickness,
Six is death.”
Death! No wonder Pa had looked so nervous. If the last two crows hadn't landed beside the others . . . ! Esther felt a chill even though the day was so hot.
But good luck hadn't arrived yet that Esther could see. Just more heat and dust and a weary slump to Pa's shoulders. Esther didn't want to worry about the crops. It just made her crankier. If only there was something fun to do. She'd played with Margaret for most of the morning. And she'd tried to play with Mickey. But his tongue hung out and he panted like a tired old train, huffing and puffing. She finally sent him to his shady nest under the porch and came back into the house.
Esther eyed the two books she ownedâ
Little Women
and
Heidi
âstacked neatly on top of the dresser. They were last year's Christmas gifts from Kate and Julia. She'd already read them twice, but she could read one of them a third time, she supposed. She sighed. If only there were a library in town! With new books to read, she wouldn't miss school so much. And if Bethany lived nearer, so they could see each other sometimes, she wouldn't be so lonely. She thought of how easy it had been to visit Shirley in Chicago. It was very different in the country.
Esther looked out the window. Pa was walking back from the oat field. Every day he checked the oats, the corn, the wheat, and the potatoes. Every day he drove milk and eggs to town to sell. Every day he hauled and chopped wood to build the woodpile high before winter. And he made repairs around the house and barn.
But all the while Esther could tell he was really waiting. Waiting for rain. Waiting for the crops to grow. Waiting for the harvest.
The screen door banged and Esther heard Pa shout over the jingle of the fairy bells, “Everyone get ready! We are going on a picnic!”
Esther let out a whoop. She raced down the stairs. “A picnic! Where?”
“We will go to the lake and cool off for a while,” Pa was telling Ma. “Maybe I will catch some fish for supper.”
Ma's flushed face broke into a smile. She'd just come in from weeding the vegetable garden. It was hot, hard work. “I will make sandwiches,” she said. “Girls, come help.”
Violet sprang up from the sewing machine and hurried into the kitchen. Esther was right behind her. A picnic at the lake! And here she'd just been thinking there was nothing fun to do in the country.
Esther had heard about the little lake east of town, but she'd never seen it. “Ohhh,” she breathed when Pa drove into the clearing an hour later. Blue water glittered silver under the sun. “It's beautiful!” Other wagons and buggies were parked among the trees. She heard shrieks of laughter. Then she spotted Bethany hopping up and down and waving.
“I knew you'd come!” Bethany cried when Esther jumped down from the buggy. “Just about everybody does on the Fourth.” Bethany hauled Esther around blankets and baskets and small, toddling children. At the shore of the lake she tossed off her shoes and socks. “Come on!”
Laughing, Esther threw off her own shoes and socks and plunged into the chilly water after Bethany. Many of their schoolmates were already splashing and chasing one another. Esther and Bethany quickly joined in the fun. When they waded back to shore a while later, Esther had forgotten all her grumpy feelings of the morning.
“Your nose is pink,” she teased Bethany.
Bethany laughed. “So's yours.” She wrung water from her skirt.
“Let's go get something to eat,” Esther suggested. “I'm starving.”
Bethany smacked her lips. “Mama brought raspberry cobbler.”
Esther's mouth watered. “Ma brought sugar cookies,” she said. She laughed. “She baked them after we went to bed last night for a Fourth of July surprise. But even she didn't know about the picnic. That was Pa's surprise! And it was the best one of all.”
Ma was under a maple tree not far from the Heggersmiths. She had spread an old quilt on the grass. On it was a plate of sandwiches wrapped in waxed paper, a bowl of hard-boiled eggs, and a tin that Esther knew held two dozen perfect sugar cookies. There was also a small dish of plump red raspberries.
Esther reached down and plucked a berry from the dish. “Mmmm,” she said, savoring its sweet juiciness. “Where'd we get the raspberries from, Ma?”
“From Mrs. Neilson. It was kind of her. She says they have more than they can eat.” Ma, always generous to guests, nodded at Bethany. “Take some. They are good.”
But Bethany smiled and shook her head. “No, thank you, Mrs. Vogel. We have heaps of raspberries at home right now, too. Save them for your family.”
“Where are they, anyway?” Esther asked, looking around.
“Pa and Walter are fishing. Violet is with friends,” Ma said. She looked unusually content, fanning herself gently with Pa's straw hat. She raised her eyebrows at Esther's and Bethany's dripping skirts. “You two look cool enough.”
Esther laughed. “The water feels so good, Ma. You should go in.”
Ma smiled. “Playing in water is for children.”
“Mama went in last summer, Mrs. Vogel,” Bethany confided. “Of course, no one was here but us. She said it was delightfully refreshing.” Bethany grinned and pulled wet hair back from her face.
“Maybe you could do that, too, sometime, Ma!” Esther cried.
Ma was smiling. She was almost laughing. She opened her mouth to reply. Then, suddenly, she stiffened. Her laugh died. Her smile vanished.
She sat up straight and dropped the straw hat. A frown creased her forehead. “You should go to your family now,” she said abruptly to Bethany. Then she turned to Esther. “Go find Pa and Violet. Tell them it is time to eat.”
Esther stared. What was wrong with Ma? She had practically told Bethany to go away!
“You heard me, Esther,” Ma said sharply. “Go find Pa.”
Bethany looked as bewildered as Esther felt. “I guess I've got to eat now,” Esther told her friend. “But I'll see you after lunch.”
“We are not staying,” Ma cut in firmly. “Now, do as I tell you.”
Confused and upset, Esther went. What had happened to Ma? She'd been so happy one minute, and almost angry the next. It didn't make any sense. Tears blurred Esther's eyes and she stumbled more than once as she searched for Pa. Surely Ma hadn't meant it when she said they weren't staying. They couldn't leave yet. They'd just arrived!
She found Pa fishing in a shady cove not far down the shore. Walter was digging with a stick nearby. “Pa, Ma sent me to tell you it's time to eat,” Esther said.
Pa's forehead wrinkled. “So soon?”
“All of a sudden she's in a big hurry to eat and go home,” Esther said miserably.
“I don't want to go!” Walter cried. He dangled a worm up for Pa to see. “Look, Pa, I got another one!”
“Very good, Walter. Put it in the can with the others and come. It is lunchtime.” Pa pulled his line from the water and picked up two fish from the grassy bank. He patted Esther's shoulder. “I will talk to Ma.”
But Pa could not change Ma's mind. Neither could the Heggersmiths and Nielsons. “I have a bad headache,” she told them. Esther blinked in surprise. She hadn't known Ma wasn't feeling well.
“It's not fair,” Violet said as she and Esther shook crumbs from the quilt after lunch. “Peter asked me to be his partner in the three-legged race.”
“Games?” Esther wailed. “There are going to be games?”
“And fireworks,” Violet added bitterly. “Mr. Heggersmith sets some off every year.”
Esther wanted to sit on the ground and howl.
The ride home was a silent one. No one but Ma had wanted to leave. Now they just wanted the ride home to be over. Pa tried to whistle once, but the song trailed off before he'd gotten out more than a few notes. His heart plainly wasn't in it.
Esther could understand that easily enough. Her own misery was so keen, her chest actually hurt with the strain of holding sobs inside. She was only thankful that she had managed to slip away long enough to say good-bye to Bethany. “I'm sorry about the way Ma acted,” she had apologized. “She's got a bad headache.”
Good-natured Bethany waved off Esther's apology. “It's all right. But listen to the great idea I hadâand Mama says it's fine with her. You can come for lunch, and after, we can pick raspberries. Our bushes are loaded.” Bethany was dancing from foot to foot in excitement. “Wouldn't it be fun to have a whole afternoon together?”
Esther's spirits had risen considerably. “Yes! I'll come for sure if Ma will let me.”
“Mama said to come Wednesday at noon if you can,” Bethany told her.
So the plan was made. And thinking of it was all that kept Esther from crying on the hot ride home. When they got to the farmhouse, she stopped on the porch to greet Mickey. But Ma called, “Esther, come here.”
Ma's voice sounded funny. Was she angry at Esther? Esther hurried inside. “Yes, Ma?”
Ma was unpacking the picnic leftovers. She barely glanced at Esther. “You will stay away from the Klause girl from now on,” she said.
She said it quite plainly, so Esther knew she hadn't misunderstood. But she could not believe Ma would say such a thing.
Pa walked in carrying the two fish he had caught. Esther looked to him for help. But he shook his head. He would not go against Ma.
“B-but why, Ma?” Esther finally managed. “Why do you want me to stay away from Bethany?”
“Because she is marked,” Ma said. “It is dangerous to be near her.”
“Marked? Dangerous?” Esther echoed in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Ma wasn't used to being questioned. “
Nu!
The mark on her face,” she said impatiently. “It is a sign.”
Suddenly Esther understood. “You mean the mole on her cheek?”
“Yes!” Ma nodded vigorously.
“But I have a mole on my shoulder,” Esther said. “Am I marked, too?” Her heart was beating very fast.
“No,” Ma said quickly. “No. Yours is small and hidden. But hers is large and on her face for all to see and be warned.”
“But marked by who, Ma?” Esther asked.
“By angry fairies.” Ma walked to the doorway and swung the screen door open and closed twice to ring the fairy bells. She looked back at Esther. “It is important to keep the fairies happy.”
“But why, Ma? Why would fairies do that to a little baby?”
Ma shrugged. “Who knows? As a punishment to her parents, probably.”