What the Moon Said (15 page)

Julia stopped at a green painted door. It was next to a barbershop with a red-and-white-striped pole out front. The red-striped pole next to the green door made Esther think of Christmas. Last Christmas had been such a happy time. She smiled. She would always have memories of her happy times on the farm. No one could take them away.

Julia opened the door and led the way upstairs to the apartment above the barbershop. Esther sniffed. The hallway smelled of spicy shaving cream and hair pomade. Pleasant smells to come home to. Not like Mrs. Pulaski's stinky sauerkraut at their old apartment building. Ugh!

Julia set down her box and took a key from her skirt pocket. She was about to put it in the door when she stopped and offered it to Esther.

“Why don't you do the honors?” she said, stepping aside.

Esther slid the key into the lock and turned it. Then she led the way inside. It was smaller than their old apartment, and darker. But it had freshly painted walls, and the linoleum in the kitchen was new enough that it still had some shine left. Esther's footsteps echoed as she walked through the empty rooms—the parlor, the kitchen, two bedrooms, and one bathroom.

When Esther came to the bathroom, she grinned. “Violet will probably want to live in here,” she said.

“There's a little porch, too,” Julia said, leading the way to the back door and opening it.

Esther looked. There was a porch all right. The perfect place for a dog to curl up and nap in the shade on a summer afternoon. Oh, if only Mickey could come, too! But Esther knew Ma would never agree to a dog in the city. And Esther also knew that Mickey would never be truly happy here. He was used to running free through the fields.

But who would love him now? Would the new owners be kind to him? She would never know.

Esther closed the door harder than she should have. The noise startled Julia. She jumped, knocking over the box of salt she'd just unpacked.

“Oops—sorry,” Esther said.

“No harm done,” Julia said. “Just a little spilled salt, easily taken care of.” She brushed the salt into her hand and tossed it over her left shoulder into the sink.

“Why did you do that?” Esther asked quickly. “Throw the salt over your shoulder, I mean.”

Julia blushed. “For luck.
You
know.”

“I know that spilling salt is supposed to be bad luck,” Esther said. “And I know tossing it over your left shoulder is supposed to undo it. But do you really believe it?” She stared at Julia hard, waiting for her answer.

Julia ducked her head and grinned. “Not really. But I do it anyway because it's what Ma taught me. I do it . . . just in case.” She looked embarrassed. So she didn't really believe in superstitions. But she was afraid to ignore them “just in case” she was wrong.

Esther suddenly remembered how she used to walk to school in the city. She'd always been careful not to step on the cracks in the sidewalk. “Step on a crack, break your mother's back” was what everyone said. And she'd been afraid to take any chances, even though she was sure it couldn't be so. After all, many children walked the same sidewalk every day and stepped on cracks lots of times. Surely all their mothers had not broken their backs!

But maybe some things didn't have to make sense for people to believe in them. Maybe—like Julia—most people thought it was better to be careful than to take a chance. But what about the others?

“Bethany's family doesn't believe in superstitions,” Esther told Julia. “They even have a black cat!”

“Really?” Julia said. “That's brave of them.”

“No-o-o-o-o,” Esther replied slowly, some of her confusion beginning to come clear. “Because they aren't afraid. They don't worry about bad things happening, and bad things mostly don't.”

Esther thought of the wonderful afternoon she had spent on the Klause farm. She remembered how Mr. Klause had teased her and Bethany, and how Mrs. Klause had kissed baby Rose's cheek and declared her the sweetest baby in Wisconsin.

“They were the happiest family I've ever known,” Esther said.

“Mmmm,” Julia said, putting the eggs and butter in the icebox. “I'm glad you had such a nice girl for a friend.”

Esther nodded. “Me too.”

Ma and Pa arrived a few minutes later, just as Esther and Julia were leaving.

“You're early!” Julia squealed. “Welcome home!” She fell on Ma and Pa and Violet and Walter even before they were through the door. Esther, suddenly shy, hung back.

“Howard went to return the car. He will be back soon,” Pa explained when Julia finally let go of him. Then he spotted Esther.
“Liebling!”
he cried, throwing his arms around her. “It is so good to see you well again.”

Esther hugged him back hard. She was shocked at how his cheeks had sunk into his face. Hugging Pa reminded her of the first time she'd hugged Mickey and she'd felt every one of his bones. It frightened her how much Pa had changed.

And Ma looked so much older! Lines had taken the place of curves on her face. Her skin, like Pa's, was pasty white. She had dark shadows under her eyes.

Esther wanted to throw her arms around Ma, but she held herself back. She remembered how Ma had pulled away the last time she'd done that. So she just looked at Ma and smiled.

The creases in Ma's face lifted into a smile, too. She took a step forward. Her hands reached out and Esther's breath caught in her throat. Was Ma going to hug her at last? Esther's heart pumped faster. She took a step toward Ma.

Suddenly Walter broke away from Julia. He pushed past Violet, right between Esther and Ma. Ma's hands fell and so did Esther's heart.

Walter tugged on Esther's arm. “Guess what? I did your chores while you were gone. I collected the eggs an' everything.”

Part of Esther wanted to shake her little brother. But he was beaming up at her so proudly. He didn't know what he'd done. And his cheeks were so thin and white. She managed to smile back at him. “That's wonderful, Walter. That was very grown up of you.”

Violet slipped her arm through Esther's and pulled her toward the kitchen. “Isn't this place nice?” she bubbled. “I can't believe we're finally back to civilization!”

Violet's arm was so thin, it made Esther wince to look at it. She felt a rush of shame. She had been pampered on custards and fruit. But Violet had gone hungry. Esther had opened her mouth to defend the farm. Instead she grinned and pointed. “There's the bathroom, Vi.”

Violet let out a shriek. “At last!” She dashed inside and banged the door closed behind her.

Esther went back to the parlor. Kate had arrived with Henry Christian asleep on her shoulder. She was shaking her head. “Oh, Ma and Pa!” she said sadly. “You both look positively ill. I'm so glad you came home from that dreadful place.”

Esther was close enough to see Pa's face clearly. His mouth smiled at Kate. But his eyes were sad beyond words.

WITH SO MANY HELPING HANDS, IT
didn't take long for the moving truck to be unloaded and for the furniture to be set in place. The dishes, pots, and pans were washed and put away. The beds were made, and clothing was hung in closets. Walter would sleep on a cot in the girls' room until they could afford a bigger place, but no one complained about having to share.

The sun was setting behind them as they all walked back to Kate and Howard's apartment for dinner.

Walter kept running ahead and then running back to them. Once he started to run into the street. Ma had to call out, “Walter, stop!” And when she caught up to him, she scolded, “You are not in Johannsen's Corners. There are lots of cars and trucks here. You cannot just run into the street.”

“Yes, Ma,” Walter said, staring wide-eyed at a streetcar that rumbled past.

Violet kept looking around as she walked beside Esther. “I can't believe we're really here!” she said. “I thought today would never come.”

Esther reached out and squeezed Violet's hand. “I missed you so much!”

For a surprise, Kate was roasting a turkey. “We never did have Thanksgiving together,” she said, “so I decided we'd celebrate now. After all, we have a lot to be thankful for.”

Pa nodded. “Yes, we do. We are all well.” He smiled at Esther. “And we are all together again—an even bigger family than we were before.” He looked down at the baby on his knee. His big hand rested gently on Henry's curly head. “We are blessed.”

Esther swallowed hard. She'd been feeling anything but blessed lately. But now, listening to Pa and having all her family around her again, she knew it was so. She missed the farm and the life they'd had there. But the farm was just a place. Home was more than a place. Home was family.

Later, when Kate and Julia were bringing steaming dishes to the table, Kate asked Esther to close the parlor curtains. Esther stood at the middle of the double window and grasped the edge of a curtain in each hand. But she paused before she pulled them together.

The moon was just coming up above the rooftops of the city, and it had a strangely pink glow. She opened her mouth to ask Ma what the pink glow meant. But then she closed her mouth without saying a word. Whether Ma would say the glow was a sign of something good or something bad didn't matter to Esther.

Signs might be important, even comforting, to Ma. But Esther would much rather take life one day at a time and be surprised as each day unfolded, the good and the bad by turns. With a last look at the pink moon, she closed the curtains.

She sat down and looked at each smiling face around the table, starting with Pa and ending with Ma. Had Ma been about to hug her earlier? Esther believed she was. Just as she was sure Ma had said “I love you” that night in the hospital. She might have dreamed it. But she didn't think so.

The memory warmed a special place in her heart, but it wasn't the be-all and end-all she'd thought it would be. Because she knew now that words were the smallest part of loving.

“Actions speak louder than words,” her Chicago teacher, Miss Monksburg, used to say. Now those words came shining out of Esther's memory. Like sunshine, they reached down to her tangled thoughts and helped the last of them give one last mighty thrust to break through into the light. Suddenly Esther saw it all so clearly!

Love was actions more than words. And not just easy actions like hugs and kisses. It was hard ones, like sticking by someone in bad times, not just in good. It was working for them, even when you were tired. It was putting their needs first, even before your own. It was taking care of them when they were sick. It was forgiving them when they disappointed you. It was protecting them and teaching them. It was all the things Ma had always done for Esther.

“I'm so stuffed, I can't eat another bite,” Walter said, sliding down in his chair.

“That will leave more cake for the rest of us,” Julia teased. Everyone laughed as Walter quickly popped back up.

Julia collected dirty plates and brought out smaller ones for dessert. Then Kate came out of the pantry with the cake. Esther was surprised to see it was aglow with burning candles. Everyone began to sing:
“Happy birthday to you . . . Happy birthday to you . . . Happy birthday, dear Esther . . . Happy birthday to you!”

Esther looked at the pink-frosted cake Kate set before her and stammered, “B-but it's not—”

“We know your birthday's not until Friday really,” Kate interrupted. “But we thought you wouldn't mind celebrating early.” She set a pink-and-white-wrapped package on the table. And Julia put a flat blue package beside it. A book! Esther guessed happily. Maybe even another Nancy Drew mystery.

She was all set to reach for it when Pa reminded her, “The candles,
Liebling.
Make a wish before they go out.”

Esther stared at the tiny candle flames. A wish. Last year she wouldn't have had to think about it. But this year was different. She felt as if she suddenly saw things a lot more clearly even if she did still need glasses. She closed her eyes. She thought a moment and made her wish. Then she opened her eyes, took a deep breath, and blew with all her might. The candles flickered and went out. Everyone clapped. Howard whistled loudly through his teeth. Esther grinned.

“Now, open your presents,” Julia said, plucking candles from the cake so she could cut it.

“This one,” Ma said. She pulled a knobby bundle from beneath the table and held it out to Esther. “Open this one first.”

Esther looked at Ma in surprise. She took the package, slid off the string, and began to peel away the brown paper. Her heart started to beat faster. She threw a quick glance at Ma. Was it possible? Ma's eyes urged her to continue. Esther's heart lurched. She smelled the scent of lilacs—Ma's powder. She saw a tiny hand, then a fat braid—molasses brown now, not golden anymore—and finally, two china-blue eyes.

“Margaret!” she breathed. She touched the doll's pretty dress. It was made of the same red-and-white rose-print fabric that had hung at the kitchen windows of the farmhouse. Now it would be easy to close her eyes and pretend herself back there again.

But it was Margaret's face that she stared at in wonder. It had been so horribly stained. Ma must have scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. As closely as Esther looked, she could find only one small spot on Margaret's cheek. “She reminds me of Bethany.” She gulped. “Thank you, Ma.”

Ma nodded and smiled so wide, Esther felt as if she'd been hugged tight.

“Oh—I almost forgot!” Violet said. “I have a letter for you from Bethany.” She jumped up from the table to find her coat. In a moment she was back with a crumpled envelope. Esther eagerly tore it open.

Dear Esther,

I wish I could have seen you one more time to say good-bye. You are the best friend I ever had. I miss you something awful. I wanted to be the one to tell you not to worry about Mickey. Your pa brought him over and everybody here loves him already, especially me. If you write to me, I promise to write back. And maybe sometime we can visit one another. I hope so.

Your good friend,

Bethany

Esther thought she might burst with happiness. She didn't have to worry about Mickey after all. “Thank you, Pa,” she said. “Bethany will take good care of Mickey, I know.”

Pa nodded.

“Now I can write letters to Bethany like I used to write to Julia,” Esther added. “And she can tell me about Mickey and the kids at school.”

“Aren't you going to open the rest of your presents?” Walter demanded. “I want cake.”

Esther grinned. With Margaret in her lap, she opened a jigsaw puzzle from Kate and Howard. Then, just as she'd hoped, she unwrapped a Nancy Drew book from Julia. “Thank you, everybody,” Esther said. “This has been a wonderful birthday party.”

They all clapped their hands, even little Henry.

I will remember this birthday forever, Esther promised herself. Then she looked across the table at Ma and smiled, because at last she saw the love that had always been in her mother's eyes.

Esther picked up her fork and took a bite of cake. “This is lots better than the cake Violet made for me last year,” she teased.

Violet made a face but laughed along with everyone else.

The laughter was such a nice sound. It made Esther think of the wish she'd made minutes before. Not that she believed in birthday wishes anymore, or lucky ribbons for that matter, or signs or superstitions.

Good and bad things happened all the time. Sometimes good things even came out of bad ones, like when Esther had choked but Bethany saved her and Ma let her be Esther's friend again. Or like when Ma threw Margaret away but today she gave Margaret back to Esther, a beautiful memory of their time on the farm and a very special sign of her love for Esther.

There was no harm in wishing, though, and this year Esther's birthday wish had come straight from her heart with no planning at all. She had looked at all the loving faces around the table and known that all she really wanted was for her family to stay together forever.

It was a good wish, she decided, popping another forkful of cake into her mouth. Best of all, she had a feeling it was one wish that was going to come true.