What the Lightning Sees: Part One (9 page)

She smiled at me and went back to her laptop.

“So you weren’t thinking about earlier?” I asked.

“Earlier?” she asked as if she was genuinely unclear what I meant.

“In the parking lot earlier,” I said.

“Oh, you mean, am I worried about the chlamydia thing? Don’t worry, I’ll get tested and get antibiotics if I need to.” She grinned at me.

“Haven?” She was funny, but it was killing me. I wanted to know what she was feeling. Her reaction, or lack thereof, to our kiss had been completely unexpected and it bothered me. I wanted her to tell me that she wanted it to happen again.

“What?” She sounded exasperated.

“Should we talk about it?”

“What, that you can’t keep your hands off me? No, we should not talk about it.”

I tried to think of a witty comeback but I couldn’t. So I didn’t say anything.

Haven managed to secure lunch in Sandy’s trailer with her manager. Hopefully, it would give her the time with her that she needed.

“So, it’s so exciting to be on a movie set,” Haven said, smiling at Sandy. “Are you enjoying it?”

“Yes, I’m having such a great time. I’ve always enjoyed shooting music videos, but this is different but super-fun. But obviously it takes way longer.” Sandy was in a good mood and I was pleased for Haven.

“Do you have a lot of creative input into your videos?” Haven asked.

“Sure, loads. The one for
Shout If It’s Love
, I completely styled myself and I worked with the director on different ideas before we started shooting,” she replied.

“Is it tough, not having the same control in a film?”

“No. I trust the director.”

“You grew up singing and dancing. You’re first public performance was at the age of three. Did you ever want to do anything other than what you’re doing now?”

Sandy narrowed her eyes slightly, as if she was trying to process a question. “I can’t remember there ever being a time when I didn’t want to be famous, to perform, to sing. I love it. There’s never a time when I don’t feel incredibly lucky to have had my dreams come true, but I knew it was going to happen for me, like it was my destiny or something.”

Haven smiled at Sandy and nodded.

Sandy turned to me. “And did you hear that we’ve got the date for Paris? You’re coming to that Harry, right? Spring in Paris is so romantic.”

“So, it’s the first Tuesday in April, for three days, two nights” Phil explained. “You don’t have to come for the whole shoot, or at all if you don’t want to. It’s to film the proposal scenes.”

“It will be so fun, Harry! Promise you’ll come,” Sandy said, whining.

“This is the first I’ve heard of it.” I looked at Haven and she shrugged. She clearly hadn’t known about it either. “We’ll have to check the schedules. I may be in the US. It depends on a few things.”

“Please try.” Sandy was pouting.

“We’d love to come, and we’ll make every effort,” Haven said. It seemed to placate Sandy, for the moment. “Paris is beautiful. You must have travelled all over the world. Do you have a favorite place?”

“Dubai, I think. The Atlantis Palm hotel is completely amazing. I loved it there, didn’t I, Phil?”

Phil nodded. Of all the places she’d been to, she picked a hotel. She reminded me of Millie.

I got the feeling that it wasn’t the answer that Haven had been wanting, but she was pretty good at covering it up. Better than I’d expected her to be in any event.

“Do friends and family join you when you’re touring?” she persisted.

“Of course. Phil here is like an uncle to me. And Patricia comes with me everywhere.” Sandy replied. “I’m very lucky to have them.”

“Patricia?”

“My assistant. You’ve met her, right?”

Haven shook her head.

“Phil, can you introduce Patricia to Haven?” She turned back to Haven. “She’s lovely. We’re so close, we’re like sisters. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

“It’s good to have someone who has your back.”

Phil excused himself to take a call and was soon ushering Sandy out of the trailer and back to the set. Of course, we followed.

“Holy crap,” Haven said as we took our chairs in our designated spot. “I can’t exactly write about what a lonely, vacuous existence she has, can I? This is Rallegra, not the fucking Times, but that’s the bit I find fascinating. That’s what I
want
to write about.”

“Paris might help,” I replied.

“I doubt it, I’m not sure Sandy’s the problem. Robert might not even let us go,” she mused.

Haven

By some miracle I’d managed to pull it off. I’d played it cool, pretending I thought him kissing me was no big deal, when of course, I thought it was a huge deal. I’d done it more successfully than he had. He’d kept asking if I was okay and if I wanted to talk about it. I brushed it off, but wondered if his concern masked regret. As soon as he drove out of the car park at the end of the day, I collapsed onto the steering wheel.
What the fuck happened?
We were fighting, then kissing, and then he was moaning and panting and I was feeling things between my thighs that I’d only read about in books.
Shit.

Why had he kissed me? To prove that he could? To demonstrate he could have everything he wanted? Did he want me?

And now it was the weekend and I was going to have to wait until Monday to see him again. A weekend he was probably spending with the glamazon, racing around London in his Aston Martin, tan and gorgeous, drinking champagne, and eating caviar.

I needed to bury the very thought of him. He wasn’t my type. I didn’t like men like him. I liked men who were ambitious and successful, kind and funny.

“So, you seem distracted,” Ash said, jolting me from my thoughts.

“Do I? I’m thinking that I’m twenty-seven and single, yet I’m spending a second Saturday night in a row drunk with my best friend, at home, without the possibility of getting laid.”

“I’ll kiss you later if that makes you feel better,” she offered.

“Let’s see how you’re looking after another bottle of wine.”

“Anyway, we were at Luke’s last weekend getting drunk, so it hasn’t been two Saturday nights in a row drinking at home.”

“Oh, that’s okay then.”

“How’s the Sandy Fox article coming?”

“Terrible. Urgh.” I slumped back onto the sofa. “There is just nothing interesting to say about her. Scratch that. The interesting stuff isn’t very flattering, and of course, we’re Rallegra, so we’re not going to write a take-down piece about Sandy bloody Fox.”

“If Vanity Fair couldn’t stand up to Gwynnie . . .”

“Exactly. She’s not a monster, don’t get me wrong, but really, there’s nothing much there and I want to be getting down and dirty. She spends the whole time flirting with Harry.”

“Is that what the problem is? You don’t like her flirting with licky? He is hot, from what I remember. I drank a lot of wine that night, so everyone looked good.”

“Including his glamazon girlfriend,” I said. “Anyway, why would I care if she flirted with him? I just wish that this wasn’t the article that my future depended on. I asked her about her favorite place she’d visited and she told me it was the Palm hotel in Dubai. I mean, she must have travelled all over the world. How depressing.”

“Maybe they have really good free toiletries.”

“You’re not helping.”

“No, hear me out. Maybe she likes stealing things from hotel rooms. That’s your story—Sandy Fox, superstar and thief of hotel amenities.”

“Don’t give up your day job,” I said and swatted her

“Is licky up for a slice of Miss Fox?”

Despite Sandy being gorgeous and very available to Harry, I didn’t think he was. “I don’t think so.”

“Perhaps it’s serious with the glamazon.”

“Maybe,” I replied, and focused on my wine glass.

“Haven?”

“What?”

“What are you not telling me?” I didn’t know if it was my lack of poker face or the fact Ash had known me twenty years that meant I could never keep a secret from her for very long.

“Harry kinda kissed me.” My heart started thumping against my chest as I said it. Would she think he was ridiculously out of my league?

“He
kinda
kissed you? Are you not sure? Was it ambiguous? When did this happen?”

“I’m pretty sure he kissed me. On Friday. Outside the studio.” Warmth spread over me as I remembered his breath on my skin, his tongue skimming across my lips.

“And you waited until now to tell me? So what happened? Was it a good kiss? Was it
just
a kiss? Was there groping? How did you leave it?”

“Do you want me to fill out a questionnaire?” I grinned at her.

“Come on! Tell me.”

“It came out of no-where. And it was in the car park, of course it was just a kiss.” But it hadn’t felt like just a kiss. It had felt more important.

“Wow.”

“Wow what?” Was she going to tell me I was an idiot for letting myself get into that situation?

“Wow, is it going to happen again? Do you want it to?”

My stomach tilted. I wasn’t sure how to answer that question. My body was telling me I wanted it to happen again, I wanted it a lot. But my mind was telling me Harry spelled trouble. “I’m still processing. I don’t really understand why it happened.”

“You don’t understand why people kiss each other?”

I narrowed my eyes at Ash. “You know what I mean.”

“No, actually, I don’t. He clearly likes you. I can’t imagine he goes around kissing every girl he meets.”

“I’m not so sure. He’s used to getting what he wants. With that face and his money? I’m probably the first girl who didn’t fall at his feet as soon as they saw his Aston Martin. Maybe I’m just a challenge.”

“You’re certainly that.”

I threw a cushion at her.

“You didn’t say whether or not you liked him,” Ash said.

I shrugged. “Like I said, I’m still processing. I’m not supposed to like men like him.” Harry seemed dangerous and out of my league. There was plenty of disappointment in life without encouraging it. “I’m not a glamazon like Millie.”

“No, you’re way more beautiful than Millie, you just don’t show it off in the same way. Listen, you don’t often get to the kissing stage with men. You must like him. I think you need to give him a chance. Don’t write him off.”

Ash was right, I didn’t kiss many men. I certainly didn’t feel the passion I’d felt for Harry in that moment but he had a girlfriend and so whatever I felt didn’t matter.

I did a pretty good job of distracting myself all weekend, but I struggled to get to sleep on Sunday night. I couldn’t wait to get to the office to see Harry. I wondered if he still wanted to talk about our kiss.

I tried not to seem too interested as people filed into the conference room for our Monday morning meeting. The last few meetings we’d sat opposite each other, but as I looked up from my to-do list, it was Emily who had taken the seat in front of me. I quickly scanned the faces of those around the rest of the table. No Harry. I hadn’t brought my phone with me. Had he texted? Or emailed? I tried to think back to Friday. Had he said that he would see me today? Maybe he’d left and was never coming back? He was only filling in, after all. My heart began to race and I swept my hands across my hair, smoothing the stray hair back into my bun.