What the Heart Takes (9 page)

He’d been a screw-up for as long as he could remember. None of it mattered until she came into his life. Becoming her Keeper gave him direction and purpose, two things he’d never had before. Too bad it brought a ton of other shit he couldn’t handle.

Gripping the steering wheel, he stretched his neck, trying to relieve the kink that formed. It spread from his shoulders to the back of his skull, accentuating the thump in his head. A few more hours in the car and he’d go nuts.

The rearview mirror came back into his sight, reflecting one last glimpse of the bridge they’d passed over. Rolling hills appeared to swallow it a second later. He’d never been so happy to cross a river in his life. Probably wouldn’t have been this time had he not seen the
Welcome to Ohio
sign.

He gazed around at the terrain, noting the hillsides sheltering the interstate. An occasional house popped into view, but most of the area contained bare trees. Not that he could see much with the moonlight. The lights from the small city they bypassed had faded as well.

Maybe there was a chance to keep Heaven safe in Ohio, as long as Brightsville was the little remote town that she described to him before. Dylan seemed to think so. That should have made Layne feel better, considering how protective Dylan was, yet it didn’t. A slight sense of danger lingered in his gut. He couldn’t ignore his senses when Heaven’s life depended on him and his abilities. If something happened to her…

Dylan wouldn’t have a chance to kill him. He’d do it himself.

As a green glow drew his eyes to the center dashboard, he stared at the clock, blinking at the digital numbers. It couldn’t be two in the morning. That would mean he’d spent the last few hours driving in a complete daze.

A groan rumbled in his chest. Nine hours in the driver’s seat made for a rough trip, especially since none of them slept much after they left the cottage. He may have squeezed in an hour after they crossed the Georgia state line, only because Heaven had too. The moment he heard her voice, sleep was long forgotten.

She’d spent the rest of the time keeping Dylan awake. Inadvertently, she did the same to him because he hadn’t missed one glance she gave Dylan, nor had he missed a single touch. It was hard to ignore the silent sentiments in such a confined space.

The few times she’d checked on him made his heart kick up a notch. He wondered if she’d sensed the shift in his energy. She never mentioned it, but her eyes revealed a lot of things she tried to keep to herself—her worry for him, her curiosity, and something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

Hours dragged by before he decided he’d had enough. The only way to escape was to focus on something else. So he took over driving in South Carolina. Good thing he had too, because Dylan came close to falling asleep at the wheel. Still, it was at that point when the awkwardness began. All the disgruntled looks Dylan gave him from the backseat.

At least there was a plus side to being the driver. Most passengers fell asleep at some point, as had Dylan, right after they passed through Charlotte. Since then, it had been peaceful, not dealing with his friend’s bullshit.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t say the same for his inner demons. They’d taken him on a journey, forcing him to reflect on the last twenty-four hours of his life. Even at this very moment, he questioned everything.

He had the worst luck with women. Had spent most of his life using them for his gratifications. This was his payback, meeting a woman who he cared for more than anything but not being able to tell her, not being able to act on his instincts to touch her, or kiss her, or feel the warmth of her body under his.

Gazing at the mirror, he stole a glance at Heaven before refocusing on the road. Her head rested on Dylan’s shoulder, eyes closed, face free of worries. Maybe she and Dylan were in a dream together, being happy and all that other shit his friend had spouted. How come the moment he was involved in the dream, it all went to hell? At least the last part of the dream had. Before that, he’d…

Damn it! He needed to quit thinking about the dream. All it did was remind him how close he came to baring his soul to Heaven.

This connection to her unnerved him. She possessed his every thought, made him feel things he didn’t want to feel. He needed Delia’s help in finding some sort of balance. Without it, he’d end up with the same life sentence that Nate had—crazy with the intent to kill.

“Layne?” The sound of her voice made him flinch, but the bond between them pulsed to life, washing away the irritation. “What time is it?”

“It’s just past two.” His eyes flashed to the mirror as he drank in her reflection. It didn’t matter that she had sleepy eyes or curls pressed to the side of her face, she still sent his soul into overdrive.

She blinked a couple times before staring out the window. “Where are we?”

“We crossed the Ohio River about eight miles ago.”

“Oh… That’s good to hear.” Her eyes swept across the car until they landed on Dylan. She adjusted the blanket on his arms and stroked his face. Even in the darkness, it wasn’t hard to see the smile on her lips. “We don’t have much further to go. Two hours at most.”

Those words were the ones he wanted to hear. He liked the idea of getting away from this car, and driving, and the intimate moments between her and his friend. While he didn’t know if Delia would be at the Lewis’s, it wouldn’t stop him from contacting her first chance he could. She had to help him get over this
thing
with Heaven. His sanity depended on it, as did her life.

The pull to Heaven resurfaced, drawing his eyes back to the mirror. He met her golden jewels for a split second before forcing his attention back to the cracked pavement. She distracted him with ease. Each look, each word, each pull of her energy accomplished that and more.

“Do you need to stop somewhere? We just passed the rest area, but I can pull over at the next exit.”

“No, I’m fine. The sooner we get to Brightsville, the better. We all need sleep.”

A soft chuckle passed over her lips, gaining his attention for another brief second. In that second, his heart caught. The love in her eyes burned as bright as the sun before they fell to her stomach. She glided her hand across it, stopping at one point to smile.

“Well, I
might
get some sleep. I think baby Mac’s awake.”

“Mac?” he asked, raising a brow when their eyes met again.

“We nicknamed the baby, since we—I don’t know the gender. Mac is for McBride.”

His ears began ringing as he broke into a sweat. He didn’t want to discuss this subject. It’s not that he didn’t care about her child. Of course he did. The baby was a part of her. No matter how sacred that was to him, it forced him down a road he didn’t want to revisit. Yet, his curiosity got the better of him. Was Dylan keeping something from her?

“I, uh…I’m not following you.”

“Before we left, I found out that Dylan has a connection with the baby. It’s similar to ours, in that he can sense our child’s emotions. I think he knows if it’s a boy or girl, but he won’t tell me for sure since I want to be surprised.”

Every word she uttered annoyed him more. Dylan was such a hypocrite, telling him to stop keeping secrets from her when he still had his own. He got a free pass with this secret, since Heaven wanted it that way, but what about the other things? She didn’t know about the newspaper clipping with the creepy message that arrived for her at Dylan’s after they announced their engagement. If he and Dylan didn’t suspect Nate’s involvement, he’d tell her himself.

No. He couldn’t cause more problems between her and Dylan. She didn’t need the stress. Despite his insistent desire to be selfish when it came to her, he had no right. She belonged to Dylan. His friend was the one who wanted a wife and kids and the picket fence dream, not him. Yet, every time he looked at Heaven, a part of him reconsidered.

“Are you okay?”

He cleared his throat, shifting his eyes between hers and the windshield. “Yeah, I’m good. I don’t feel tired.”

“That’s not what I meant. I felt your energy shift. Something upset you.”

Damn it. He hated when she did that, hated when she knew exactly what he was thinking or feeling. How could he cover his ass? He didn’t need this conversation right now. Not ever.

“I’m okay, Heaven. Just dealing with my inner demons.”

The silence gave him a false sense of security that she’d accepted his answer. He should have known better. Should never have flashed his eyes back in her direction. Then he wouldn’t have seen the hurt on her face.

“I don’t know why you’re keeping stuff from me.”

“I’m not,” he whispered, not doubting for a minute that she knew he was lying. “Why would you say that?”

Her fingers curled around the empty passenger seat as she sat forward. He caught a glimpse of her in his peripheral, though the minty scent of her breath alerted him of how close she was. “Energy doesn’t lie, Layne.”

“And I guess I do.” He didn’t mean it to sound defensive. It was more of a nonchalant confession.

“I never said that. You’re just…not very forthcoming with information. We have to be honest with each other, about everything.”

Yeah, right. She didn’t want to know half the things that went through his mind, nor did he want to share them. “Heaven, I’m going to experience different feelings from time to time. Stuff will piss me off, or make me happy, frustrated, whatever. You can’t ask me what’s wrong all the time. Haven’t I given up enough of my privacy? Of my life?”

Her mouth worked to form words but nothing came out. She turned away a second later, pressing her cheek against the headrest. He didn’t need her words to know he’d upset her. The force between them said it all.

Knowing he hurt her ate at him, yet he wondered if it was for the best. Maybe he couldn’t be her friend anymore. Maybe the only reason they’d agree to it before was fate’s way of getting her to trust him. That way, she’d accept him as her Keeper. His job was to protect her, not be her friend.

Why couldn’t his heart get on board with that?

“I don’t mean to be an asshole, Heaven, but you’re not my mother. I can take care of myself. You need to worry about your husband, your child, and staying alive. I’m not your responsibility. You’re mine.”

Anger burned in her eyes when she jerked her head in his direction. It had him sucking in a breath. “You’re my Keeper, Layne. I’m supposed to worry about you and you about me. There’s a reason you feel a pull toward me. It’s your instincts to keep me safe. That’s why we have to be in sync. You can’t ignore your instincts, and you can’t pretend you don’t care.”

It was easy for her to spout such nonsense when she had no clue how being around her twisted him inside out. She couldn’t expect a deeper bond to form between them. Dylan did everything he could to make sure their time together was limited.

The little time they managed to spend together pacified the pull, but it didn’t satisfy the ache. If they became any closer, that ache would intensify. He didn’t want to do anything that would lead him down the same path as Nate. Still, if he told her his fear, she’d know the truth, that his feelings for her went beyond friendship.

“We can’t be close, Heaven.”

“Why not?”

“Because.” He glanced at his friend, wondering if he was really asleep. “Dylan is having a hard time dealing with my role in your life. I’ve caused him enough grief over the years and more recently with you. He’s the one that’s supposed to be in sync with you, not me.”

“He and I are in sync, Layne. I know he doesn’t like your role in my life, but he knows it could be the one thing that keeps me alive. He’ll work through his hang-ups. So will you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He turned in her direction, surprised to see how close she’d leaned forward. Guilt burned in his cheeks when their eyes met again, partially for his lies, partially because he wanted to kiss her. For a moment, he could have sworn he saw the same urge in her eyes. The way they lingered at his lips, slowly working their way back up.

“It means that regardless of who does or doesn’t like it, you and I are linked. So get over your ego. I’ll make sure my husband does the same.”

His eyes went back to the center line in the road. The one he almost crossed because he’d been too busy looking at her. Why did she have to be so insistent about this? It had to lead back to the day they chatted at her parents’ suite, the day he swore there was nothing more than friendship between them. He knew that lie would haunt him someday. If she knew how he really felt, she wouldn’t be pushing the issue.

“Do you remember when we came back from Aruba?”

“Yes,” he mumbled, wishing he could have said no. He’d caused a lot of damage to her and Dylan during that trip. It’s also when Delia turned his world upside by claiming he was Heaven’s Keeper

“I’m glad you remember coming back, because I don’t. I was catatonic, Layne. No one could bring me out of that darkness. Except you. Don’t you think there’s a reason for that?”

The words replayed in his mind as he thought back to that day. How she’d laid in the bed, motionless. How she didn’t respond to him until he kept talking to her. How she questioned him on rather the bond between them was platonic or something more.

He didn’t have any answers on why he’d broken through to her, nor did he want to sit around and play guessing games. This conversation had to end. This whole complicated friendship had to end.

And it had to end now.

Without saying a word, he twisted the wheel, lifting his foot off the gas. The car veered to the right, taking a slight incline up an exit ramp.

“What are you doing?”

He left her question unanswered as he pressed on the brake, bringing the car to a stop several hundred feet from the exit. A quick turn of his head revealed no passing traffic on the crossing road. In fact, there wasn’t anything to see for miles, except a few lights and maybe a barn in the distance.

While he doubted many cars would be accessing the ramp until morning, he couldn’t leave the car in the middle of the road. The extra-wide patch of gravel lining the edge of the pavement proved suitable, and that’s where he shifted into park.