What The Heart Knows (18 page)

She
opened her eyes, looking down into his, deep and unreadable as she
slowly slid against him, feeling him press against her front wall as
she moved her hips backward. James watched her ride him, her eyes
never leaving his as she stroked their desires.

Emily's
moans were coming out as airy whimpers. Her hands reached down toward
his stomach, trying to steady herself as she felt her orgasm pressing
closer. James reached down, squeezing her hands once, then slowly
lifting his body off the mattress. His arms went around her, one low
on her hips, the other across the back of her shoulders. His face was
even with her neck and he buried his face there, breathing her sweet
smell in, trying to commit it to memory.

Emily
leaned her head down, resting her cheek against the top of his soft
hair, both her arms around his neck. She kept the same punishingly
deliberate pace, feeling the pressure building up slowly, somehow
stronger. Deeper. Like she was going to shatter in a million pieces
when the climax slammed through her.

She
slid upward, her body grabbing onto him too tightly. As she slid down
again, the world exploded. Shattered. She opened her mouth to scream,
but nothing came out but a strangled gasp as her orgasm worked its
way through her whole body, making her pull him more tightly to her.

James
felt her cum, a slow but powerful pulsating around him, rolling over
and over. Her fingers digging into his shoulders, her body trembling.
He came powerfully, thrusting upward into her as his hands pulled her
firmly down.

Emily
held onto him, his arms going around her and holding onto her
tightly. Their heartbeats were frantic, their breathing unsteady as
they clung to each other.

The
perfection of that silent moment was somehow better than a million
mouthfuls promising forever.

Fifteen

The
morning had continued in silence, but it wasn't the same as when
their bodies were entwined. It was forced and awkward. It was full of
the understanding that what had just happened between them was more
than just sex. It was more than bodies enjoying each other. It was
more. And they were each mutely dealing with the repercussions.

Emily
packed all their things up into separate bags, shrugging into her new
heavy winter jacket and lacing up her boots for the snow. James
collected the key cards, stuffed his wallet into his jacket, and
grabbed the car keys. When Emily stood up, he nodded once at her and
they both moved into the hall single file.

James
went to the desk to check out while she grabbed them coffee for the
road. Her thighs felt stiff and achy but it was nothing compared to
the unexpected swirling sadness situated somewhere in her chest. The
tears sprang unwanted but persistent to her eyes as she turned away
from the hot chocolate cart, a gray cardboard tray holding their
disposable cups. She caught sight of Maude who had been walking
toward her but paused when she got a look at Emily's face. Her head
tilted to the side as if wondering if Emily would accept her sympathy
or advice.

Emily
shook her head, blinking rapidly, thankful that for once... Maude
wasn't going to push the issue. She walked instead over toward the
desk to wait her turn to check out. Emily took a steadying breath and
made her way outside, needing a moment alone before being stuck in
the car with him.

She
didn't want to admit to herself that she finally realized there was a
depth of emotion. That there was a moment that morning where she
swore she felt a part of him seeping into the cracks in her heart,
filling them, making her feel a comfortable completeness she had
never felt before. And she knew that it was going to hurt all the
more when the parts of him drifted away and left her incomplete
again. And acutely, painfully aware of her brokenness for the first
time.

The
door opened behind her and she didn't need to turn to know it was
him. There was a long silence followed by James clearing his throat.
“Ready?” he asked, making his way toward the car without
waiting for a response.

They
sipped their coffee, James keeping his eyes on the road, Emily
looking out the side window. Everything was beautiful. Cloaked in
sheets of shiny white snow. Fresh. New. Untouched. Soon it would turn
muddy and droopy. Ugly even. But right then, it was perfect.

Stars
Landing seemed even more storybook than usual coated in new snow.
Emily got out of the car slowly, knowing that the second she got
alone she was going to break down. Big, ugly, shameful sobs were in
her future.

She
had just stepped out of the way when arms landed on each side of her
body, slamming the door. He moved close to her, pressing his body
full of memories against hers, pushing her back into the cold car.
“You can silent treatment me all you want,” he said,
ducking his head down and smirking slightly. “but this,”
he said, gesturing between them. “whatever this is... this
isn't over,” he said, turning and walking into the inn.

–

Emily
went straight to the kitchen, finding Meggie sitting on the counter
humming a Christmas carol with a book of holiday recipes in her
hands.

“Well
finally,” Meggie said as Emily threw herself into a chair. She
looked over at her, snapping the book closed. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing,”
Emily said, forcing what she hoped was a halfway convincing smile.

Meggie
turned her head to the side. “I saved you an apple turnover
from Lena,” she suggested.

“No
thanks. I'm fine,” Emily said, the idea of anything sweet
turning her stomach in a nauseating way.

Meggie
jumped off of the counter. “Whoa. Did you just turn down one of
Lena's masterpieces? Something is seriously up.”

Emily
rubbed her tired eyes. “Everything is fine,” she said.
Maybe if she denied it, pretended nothing happened, she might start
believing it too. “It's just been a long couple of days.”

“Okay,”
Meggie said, not quite believing her but knowing it was useless to
press the issue with someone so stubborn. “Where is Mr. Boss
Man?

Emily
was mid-shrug when Devon walked into the kitchen, his brows drawn
together. “He's in the office... working.”

“What?”
Emily asked, half rising out of her chair.

“Yeah,”
Devon said, sitting down across from her. “I thought it was
weird too.” A silence hung there for a second, Meggie glancing
worriedly at Emily, Devon looking between the two, confused. “So,”
he said, banging a hand on the table and making both women jump. “How
was Aria? Mouth wateringly delicious as ever?”

Emily
snorted, shaking her head. “What is with you two?”

“Nothing,”
Devon said honestly. “But, man, wouldn't that be something?”

Emily
sent him a small smile. “The lodge looks great. James was
really impressed with your renovations.”

“James?”
Meggie asked, sounding shocked. A slow look of understanding spread
across her face. “Oh,” she said, nodding, walking over to
the coffee machine and putting a fresh pot on.

“Yeah,”
Devon said, shrugging a shoulder. “There needs to be an
overhaul of the game room and the staff quarters too... but try to
tell my family that.”

“You'll
get them to listen some day,” Emily said, rising.

“Where
are you going?” Meggie asked, sounding concerned like she had
plans to go up to the roof and jump off of it.

“To
make sure he isn't making a mess of my files,” Emily said
honestly.

Why
did he have to go rifling through her office? She had a carefully
organized chaos going on and if he moved anything she would be lost
for weeks. He had left the door open and she stepped into the
doorway, arms crossed over her chest watching as he looked between
two pages he was holding, a line of concern etched between his brows.

It
struck her how good looking he was. He was always pointing it out,
but his silly arrogance always made her roll her eyes, not look
closer. But sitting there, focused on work, he looked tall and
strong. His brown hair was a little unkempt as always and for the
first time, there was stubble on his face. It made him look a little
older, a little sexier. What man didn't look better with a good five
o'clock shadow?

She
hadn't stopped to think about him working. Sure, she had seen him
running around waiting tables and washing dishes. But she hadn't
thought about what he was like at his normal job. Doing business.
Handling acquisitions. There was an aura of confidence around him. A
determination to his stiff shoulders. And it really wasn't helping
her feelings for him. It was easier to dismiss it as a stupid whim of
hers when she thought about him as some silly slacker. Seeing him as
a capable professional was doing all kinds of awful things to her
inside.

“What
are you doing?” she asked, her voice sounding foreign, too
loud, in the small space.

James
didn't look up immediately as he dropped one paper and lifted
another, looking between the two sheets again. He put his arms down
on the desk hard, looking up at her with a look she didn't quite
recognize.

“What's
wrong?”

He
took a slow, visible breath, looking down at the pages again as if to
triple check something before looking back at her. “Em...
someone is stealing from you,” he said plainly.

“What?”
Emily asked, dropping her arms and stepping into the room, closing
the door behind her. “Don't be ridiculous.”

James
rolled his eyes, sending her a small, guarded smile. “I'm
serious,” he said, holding the pages he had been looking over
out at her.

“What
am I looking for?” she asked, squinting at the pages she had
seen a dozen times before. Monthly spreadsheets. Money in, money out.
Simple. Nothing had ever been worthy of a second look. It was always
almost always the same month to month.

“Look,”
he said, getting another sheet of paper and coming toward her. “this
is a spreadsheet from five years ago,” he said, handing it to
her. “these ones are from the past couple months.”

“Yeah
I see that,” she said, looking at him like he was crazy.

“Here,”
he said, pointing to a line labeled Employee Benefits.

“Yeah,
we're a small company who... you know... actually cares about our
employees. So we give them health coverage. I know, that sounds crazy
to you big city businessmen...”

“No,”
James said, rolling his eyes. “everyone should have coverage.
That's not the thing. The thing is here, four years ago, the amount
was eighty dollars per person. But now it is over one-twenty.”

“So
the premium went up. That happens.”

“True.
Except it didn't,” James said, going back to the desk and
grabbing another paper. “this is from the insurance company.
You are still supposed to only be paying the eighty.”

Emily
felt a tightening in her stomach as she tried to think of any other
logical explanation for the difference.

“And,”
James said, as if that wasn't bad enough. “a few times a
year... it goes from the one-twenty to two-hundred or two-fifty.”

“When?”
Emily asked, looking down at the paper, feeling a deep embarrassment
for not having noticed the discrepancies.

“Christmas
for one... Easter...”

Emily
looked down at the papers, shaking her head. Not wanting to believe
him. Not wanting to accept the cold hard facts. “No,” she
said. “No,” she said more firmly, slamming the papers
against his chest. “Find some other explanation. Because this
isn't possible. I know all these people. I love these fucking people.
They're like family to me. They would never steal from me... screw
over Marion or... me. No. I don't accept this...”

“Emily...”
James said, trying to sound reasonable. She looked like she was
seconds away from flying into a rage, or falling into a puddle on the
floor.

“No,”
she yelled, wrenching open the door. “you're wrong. You're
wrong. And you need to go over everything again. Because there is no
way one of my people is fucking me over. No way,” she said,
storming off toward her room.

She
pulled the door open and slammed it hard behind her, turning around.
Her heart flew into her chest. Because there was someone in her room.
Someone who shouldn't have been there.

“I'm
home baby,” he said, smiling the spine-tingling smile she
remembered.