What the Heart Desires (Contemporary Erotic Romance) (3 page)

Felix looked surprised, but not at all unpleased.  “Are you sure?” he asked, as though the invitation was too good to be true.  She’d never asked him to stay over before.  In fact, they had yet to do anything more than kiss. 

In response, Kimberly grabbed Felix’s scarf and pulled him toward her.  Then she kissed him hard
, with more enthusiasm and raw, undeniable need than ever before.  When she released him, he was chuckling. 

“Whoa,” he said, wiping his mouth.  “You really are drunk.” 

“I am not!” Kimberly insisted with mock indignation.  “I’m just a little tipsy!”

They walked up the stairs to Kimberly’s place.  Or rather, Felix walked and Kimberly stumbled.  Maybe she had indulged in a bit too much wine, but who cared?  She was entitled to let loose every once in a while…

“I want you,” Kimberly announced as soon as the door shut behind them.  She pulled Felix toward her bedroom.  “Come here.” 

“Hey,” Felix protested, resisting.  “Hey.”  His tone was gentle, kind and even a little apologetic.  “There’s nothing I’d love to do more than…be with you, but not like this,” he told her.  “Not when you’re drunk.  I don’t want to take advantage
…I respect you too much for that.  Besides, it wouldn’t be right.”

That was Felix: always morally upstanding.  Kimberly knew she could always count on Felix to listen to his conscience and do the right thing.  Usually it was an endearing, admirable quality, but tonight she found it frustrating. 

“Are you serious?” she demanded, feeling a little hurt and rejected.

“Yeah,” he confirmed.  “Sorry.
”  He sat on her bed, grabbed the remote control from the nightstand and flipped on the TV.  “How about we find a movie to watch?”

Kimberly sighed.  “Alright,” she relented.  “But I’m goin
g to go take a shower first.” 

She’d saved herself.  Kimberly was inexperienced, but she certainly wasn’t unattractive by any stretch of the imagination.  She was a pretty girl with a nice figure and a sweet demeanor.  Over the years, that definitely hadn’t been lost on the opposite sex. 

In her freshman year of high school, Kimberly had dated a cute sophomore named Will.  Back then, “dating” had involved awkward group dates at the mall and walking home from school together hand in hand.  (Actually, her relationship with Felix wasn’t all that different.)  After a few months of innocent flirtation, Will had tried to get with her in the backseat of his car.

Kimberly had put a stop that before it had even had a chance to start. 

It had resulted in her very first break up.  Being dumped by a popular sophomore hadn’t been a pleasant experience, but Kimberly hadn’t regretted it…much.  If anything, it had strengthened her resolve to wait.  She wanted to give herself to someone who was worthwhile, so she’d committed herself to just that.

Now, after years of being alone and longing for companionship, Kimberly had found Felix.  She was glad they had taken it slow and she’d gotten to know him.  Felix was worthwhile.  Of that, she was sure. 

Although alcohol played a part in her invitation, the truth was Kimberly had been thinking about giving her virginity to Felix for a while. 

She’d imagined what it would be like.

What she hadn’t imagined was that he’d reject her advances.  Sure, he’d declined the invitation for noble reasons, but that didn’t matter.  Regardless of his rationale, being turned down stung.

In the bathroom, Kimberly stripped off her clothes and then stood in front of the full-length mirror.  Her skin was smooth and supple and her body was toned.  Like most women Kimberly felt she could stand to lose a few pounds, but now that she had a few glasses of wine coursing through her veins, her perception had changed.

Kimberly’s
breasts were large and firm, perky and gorgeous.  Her pink nipples were already erect, a testament to her growing desire.  Her belly was taut and the swell of her hips was both feminine and alluring.  Kimberly’s eyes travelled lower, to the plump, hairless mound between her thighs. 

She kept herself clean-shaven because she liked the way her smooth sex felt when she played with herself late at night.  She also loved how being bald down there seemed to increase her sensitivity.

Kimberly didn’t lock the bathroom door behind her.  She knew Felix wouldn’t come in – he was far too respectful and proper for that.  But she liked the thought that he
could
come in. 

As she stepped into the shower and felt the deliciously hot water wash over her, Kimberly
lost herself in a sexy daydream.  What if Felix burst in right now, unable to resist the temptation of her body for one second longer?  What if he yanked her out of the shower, bent her over the bathroom counter and pushed his throbbing erection right inside her? 

True, that probably wasn’t the way Kimberly wanted to lose her virginity, but even so, the thought was hot.  She wondered if there was an animal hiding inside Felix, waiting to be unleashed.  She doubted it, but it was still sexy to imagine.

As her hands idly soaped up her breasts, pausing to play with her perky nipples, Kimberly’s mind wandered.  For some reason she found herself thinking about the man at the Thai restaurant who’d helped them order.  She was sure he wasn’t the type to do what was noble.  No, he was the type to take what he wanted when he wanted it.

Kimberly wasn’t sure how she knew that.  Maybe it was the confident, almost arrogant way the man had thrown around curse words without a second thought.  Or maybe it was because he looked like a successful businessman and, from what Kimberly knew, to succeed in the corporate world, one had to be ruthless. 

He’d
be the type to knock down the door and ravage her. 

Kimberly’s hands traveled to her sex mound as she recalled the stranger’s casual demeanor, broad shoulders and piercing stare.  She wondered what his rough stubble would feel like against her delicate skin; Felix always kept his own face clean shaven.

She wondered if the stranger would take her virginity gently and considerately, or toss her around like a ragdoll, using her body for his own pleasure.  Kimberly had always envisioned her first time to be the former, but right now, here in the shower, she found herself craving the latter. 

She wanted primal, animalistic passion.  She wanted to be taken by a powerful man like the stranger from the Thai restaurant.  She wanted to be just a little scared in the moments leading up to that first penetration.

The water from the showerhead poured down on Kimberly’s naked body, both soothing and further arousing her.  Steam hung in the air. 

With closed eyes, Kimberly slid her fingers along the slit of her sex.  She could feel how slick her swollen, smooth gash was.  Her juices were already pouring out of her and she hadn’t even begun to masturbate in earnest yet.

One finger delved between Kimberly’s pussy lips and sought out her sensitive clitoris.  The tiny nub was already swollen and erect, poking excitedly from beneath its protective hood.  She teased the tender morsel expertly, causing it to grow even larger and harder. 

She wondered what
her boyfriend’s gentle fingers would feel like stroking her most sensitive part.  Then she wondered what the stranger’s fingers would feel like.

When Kimberly felt her arousal heighten, she abruptly pulled her finger away from her clitoris.  She always liked to tease herself a bit before the grand finale; she found it increased the intensity of her orgasms. 

Gently, Kimberly eased her middle finger into her slick, virgin orifice.  She liked the feeling of fullness and often wondered what it would feel like to have a man’s member inside her.  She was so tight down there that she wasn’t sure how something so big would fit, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to be filled up.

With care, Kimberly slid her middle finger in and out of her snug hole.  She did it slowly at first and then with increasing speed as her need grew.  Meanwhile, the fingers of her other hand rubbed her erect clitoris in a circular motion.

“Ooh,” Kimberly moaned aloud as her hips gyrated in pleasure.  She was close.  In a moment, she’d climax.  She’d feel her vaginal walls involuntarily contracting around her finger as though it were a miniature penis.  Her hips would go rigid and thrust forward in a blatant display of arousal.  Her clitoris would throb and pulsate as a tidal wave of pleasure took her out to sea…

“Yes!” Kimberly hissed as her belly tightened and a lightning bolt of pleasure surged through her very core.  “Oh, yes!” 

When it hit, her orgasm was intense.  Her entire body shuddered in pleasure as she let out a stifled moan of satisfaction.  She only wished she wasn’t alone there in the shower.

If Felix had heard Kimberly pleasuring herself in the shower, he didn’t let on.  When she emerged from the bathroom wearing her white fleece robe, he was engrossed in a documentary about dolphins that had come on television.

Kimberly climbed onto the bed beside him and cuddled up to him.  He wrapped an arm around her, his eyes never leaving the TV screen.  He’d taken off his sweater and jeans and was clad in just a brown t-shirt and adorably dorky cartoon character boxers. 

Briefly, Kimberly contemplated making another move.  Maybe by now, Felix would be convinced that she was no longer too drunk to consent to sex.  But truthfully, Kimberly’s orgasm in the shower had taken the edge off. 

Now, more than anything, she really just wanted to fall asleep in his arms.

“Let’s get under the covers,” Kimberly whispered in Felix’s ear when the documentary was finished.

“Okay,” he said agreeably.  He pulled the white duvet up over them, taking care to cover Kimberly’s back and shoulders.  He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head.  “Warm enough?”

“Yes.” Kimberly could feel his heart beating in time with her own.  She and Felix had never been this close, this
intimate
before.  It felt nice.  It was what she’d been craving for as long as she could remember.

“Your hair smells good,” Felix murmured, inhaling deeply. 

In response, Kimberly kissed him, a small, affectionate peck.  As she drifted off to sleep in his arms, she was vaguely aware of Felix planting a sweet, loving kiss on the top of her head.

It was the best and worst thing that had ever happened to her.  Kimberly was a wreck.  Just when things were going fantastic in her love life, everything had to change.  Why?  It wasn’t fair. 

It was Saturday night and Felix was on his way over for dinner.  Kimberly was making pizza, but she was so distracted it would be a miracle if it turned out okay.  She kept going over what she was going to say in her mind, rehearsing it, but nothing sounded right.

There was no good way to break the news to Felix.

She fully expected to be single again by the end of the night, and the thought of Felix not being in her life anymore made her want to cry.
  He’d become such a constant, reassuring presence that she couldn’t imagine not spending time with him.  She couldn’t seem to remember what life had been like before Felix became a part of it.  She already felt empty inside.

When Felix got to her condo, Kimberly buzzed him in
with a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach.  She stood in the kitchen wringing her hands.  Her anxiety was written all over her face. 

“Hey!” Felix called as he let himself in the unlocked door.  “Is that pizza I smell?  Yum!  Homemade pizza is the best!”  He stopped in his tracks when he saw the expression on his girlfriend’s face.  “What’s wrong?” he asked, pizza temporarily forgotten.  “Are you okay?”

“Yes…no…I don’t know,” Kimberly replied, looking distraught. 

“Well what is it?” Felix pressed, looking concerned. 

“I accepted a job offer,” Kimberly told him.  “It’s in a forensics lab…it’s the sort of career I’ve always dreamed about.  I’ll need some specialized training but the employer is going to pay for me to take night classes.  And the pay is really good.  And there’s a benefits package.  It’s perfect.”

Felix’s face lit up.  “That’s fantastic!” he exclaimed, all set to congratulate her.  Then he remembered how upset she was.  He wasn’t stupid; he knew there was more to it than that
.  “What’s the catch?” he asked, looking somber. 

“The catch,” Kimberly sniffled, “is that the job is 300 miles away.  I applied on a whim – I didn’t think I’d ever get the p
osition.  But then I did.  It was too good of an offer to pass up…but I don’t want to leave you!”

Felix lowered his head.  “I can’t leave,” he said regretfully.  “I’m on track to get a full-time tenured position at the university
in a couple years.  The head of the department hinted I’m pretty much a shoo-in just as soon as I have some experience under my belt.  Normally this sort of opportunity wouldn’t come along for years, but there’s going to be an opening due to Professor Stevens retiring...  I’ve worked so hard for this, Kimberly.”

“I’d never ask you to leave,” Kimberly interjected quickly. 
She knew how important Felix’s career aspirations were to him.  “But I can’t stay...”  She’d promised herself she wouldn’t lose her composure, but she couldn’t help it.  She broke down sobbing.