What She Wants (64 page)

‘Champagne? What are we celebrating?’ asked Hope in astonishment. ‘Sisterhood,’ said Mary-Kate firmly. ‘Or maybe it was varicose veins. I forget. Never mind, let’s go.’ After the champagne they moved on to wine and Mary Kate pointed out that they’d have to leave the car and get a taxi home when they were finished. ‘I hate getting Teddy Taxi,’ Delphine said as she put her knife and fork together after some incredible scallops. ‘He goes so slowly. He should be driving a hearse.’ ‘If he hadn’t been going slowly, I’d never have seen Dinky looking bedraggled on the side of the road that night,’ Virginia pointed out. ‘She’s a little pet,’ Hope said fondly. ‘Toby and Millie love playing with her. Maybe I should get a dog. Something to sleep on the bed at night…’ she trailed off miserably. ‘Now, let’s not get maudlin,’ Mary-Kate insisted. ‘Everything’s going to work out fine.’ ‘I don’t know that it is,’ Hope said. ‘Matt hasn’t been in touch since he left, I haven’t worked for the last week and I am not going back up to the hotel anyway,’ she added with a shudder at the thought of meeting Christy De Lacy again. ‘The only thing going into the bank account is the rent for the house in Bath - which is going straight out again for the mortgage. Without my earnings and the money Matt got for his contract work for Judds, we’re broke.’ Delphine put a hand on Hope’s. ‘We’ll help out,’ she said. Hope smiled at her. ‘That’s so kind of you, Delphine, but I can’t ask that of you.’ ‘You need to get more work,’ Mary-Kate insisted. ‘Next week, we’ll start looking. Have you told Sam?’ Hope nodded. ‘She’s coming for the weekend.’ ‘She’ll cheer you up.’ ‘I don’t know,’ Hope said gloomily. ‘I feel incapable of being cheered up, not to mention incapable of working ever again. I feel so useless.’ ‘Nonsense, work is what you need.’

‘Talking of Teddy Taxi and hearse drivers,’ Virginia said, adroitly changing the subject, ‘I was driving along the Killarney road the other day and this big black car overtook me at about eighty and guess what? It was a hearse.’ ‘Without a coffin, I presume?’ Hope was wide-eyed at the thought of a high-speed funeral. ‘Absolutely. But he was belting along, he must have been doing ninety.’ ‘Can you blame him?’ Delphine asked. ‘Imagine always having to drive at ten miles an hour, sure it must be torture.’ ‘So says the next would-be driver for the Jordan team,’ teased her aunt. ‘Since you got the new car, you’re like a maniac’ ‘Would you care for dessert?’ inquired the waiter. ‘No,’ said Delphine, with a mischievous twitch of her mouth, ‘but we’d like to have the thrill of looking at the dessert menu.’ Naturally, looking wasn’t enough and the sight of something described as a Chocolate Orgasm made them all order it. ‘What’s in it?’ Mary-Kate wondered. ‘If you have to ask, you’ll never find out,’ Virginia said sliding her fork into the mound of dark chocolate. It was nearly three when they left to pile, giggling, into Teddy Taxi’s waiting vehicle. ‘Afternoon ladies,’ he said nervously. This lot of mad women scared him a little. When they were leaving those strange arts and crafts nights they had, they were always roaring with laughter and acting wild. He was only waiting for the night one of them would make some manner of improper suggestion. A man didn’t feel safe with such women. Virginia, who’d been given the honour of sitting in the front, was about to close her door when a pair of long legs in cream trousers ironed to a knife-edge appeared beside it. ‘Virginia, how lovely to see you.’ Kevin Burton squatted down until he was at the same level as Virginia. He was tanned from the golf course and

his grey, intelligent eyes were warm in the lean, dark face. In the back seat, the other three began to giggle like naughty schoolgirls on a day trip who’d just caught sight of their first builder’s bum. Vowing to slap them later, Virginia graciously inclined her silvery head at Kevin and said hello. She hadn’t seen him since the disastrous recital. She’d deliberately stayed away from golf club functions she thought he’d be attending and had played golf only with her lady friends. ‘How are you?’ he asked. ‘Fine,’ she said. ‘We really must go, Kevin. Delphine is late for an appointment.’ Delphine, who, after a glass and a half of champagne and three glasses of wine was only fit for an appointment with the couch and the TV zapper, began to giggle uncontrollably. ‘May I phone you?’ asked Kevin, formal as ever. Virginia felt one of the women in the back kick the back of the passenger seat in an unmistakable ‘go for it, woman!’ gesture. ‘Yes, of course,’ she said to Kevin. ‘Thank you,’ he said politely, then, ‘goodbye ladies,’ before shutting Virginia’s door for her. ‘Lovely man,’ said Mary-Kate innocently, before Virginia shot her a warning glance that said ‘not in front of Teddy.’ When the others had been dropped off, Hope and Teddy the Taxi drove by Hunnybunnikins to pick up Millie and Toby, who’d had a wonderful day of finger painting. Hope didn’t know what sort of protective garments the children wore for this but they must have been like space suits: there wasn’t a spot of paint anywhere on their clothes. ‘We were very careful,’ Giselle said as she waved them goodbye. ‘I wish you’d teach me how to be so careful,’ Hope laughed. ‘When we paint at home, the only things that escape being covered in paint are the hensI’ When she got home, the green light on the answering machine was flickering, a sign that someone had left a

message. Barely daring to hope it might be Matt, Hope pressed the button and listened.

‘It’s me,’ said Matt.

Hope felt her heart lift with joy.

‘I know you’ve been looking for me. I was talking to Dan and he told me you’d rung. I didn’t want to stay with him and Betsey so I’ve been staying in a hotel in Bath.

‘I just don’t know if I can talk to you at all, Hope,’ he continued bleakly. ‘I can’t cope with what’s happened and I need time to sort it out in my head. Give the children my love, will you? We’ll have to talk about access, obviously, and my mobile is on now so if there’s anything wrong with either of them you can reach me. But don’t phone to ask me to come home because I won’t.’ He hung up.

Hope’s sliver of joy crashed into a thousand pieces. Access? What did he mean? Surely, the only people who needed access to their children were people in the middle of murderous divorces. Was that what Matt wanted?

That was when she began to get angry. Typical Matt, he’d made a unilateral decision without giving her a chance to make her point or put her side of the story. How often had he done that in their marriage? Scores of times, thousands of times. Matt made the decisions and she followed blindly. Well, not any more. If he wanted a divorce, he could have one. Only she’d file first. That’d show him.

At Kilnagoshell House, Virginia stripped off her crimson silk shirt dress, threw on a pair of rust cords and a sweater and brought Dinky out for a second walk in order to clear her head after an unheard of three glasses of wine.

‘Disgraceful to be drinking in the daytime, Dinky,’ she said.

Dinky danced around her mistress’s feet happily, grateful to the wine for this second walk. Most days they only had one long walk: two was a canine thrill.

Virginia walked briskly along the avenue down to the road, pausing only when Dinky scampered far into the

woods. She knew the little white dog would know how to follow her but Virginia loved her new friend too much to want her to rush out onto the busy Blackglen road and possibly fall under the wheels of a juggernaut. Virginia paled at the thought that her beloved dog could easily have been killed that wet night she’d been abandoned on the side of the road. ‘She’s such a little pet,’ Virginia had told Jamie on the phone the other day. ‘I don’t know what I did without her, although I feel a bit ridiculous to be so crazy about a dog. You’re only supposed to love people that way.’ ‘Don’t be silly,’ Jamie said warmly. ‘It’s good for you to have Dinky,’ he said. ‘We all need someone in our lives, whether it’s man or beast. Anyway,’ he added wickedly, ‘you’re not the only member of the family to love a dog. Laurence does.’ ‘Jamie,’ remonstrated his mother, scandalized. ‘That’s a terrible way to speak about Barbara. You’re not too old for me to give you a slap on the ear,’ she said. Jamie, secure in the knowledge that his mother had never ever hit any of the children, merely laughed. ‘Will you slap Laurie too, then? That’d bring him to his senses.’ She was so engrossed in thinking about her future daughter-in-law that she didn’t notice Kevin’s car approach until he was almost beside her. He got out of the car and petted Dinky, who responded joyfully to his touch, even going so far as to lie down and roll over so he could stroke her belly. ‘Good girl, Dinky,’ crooned Kevin. Oh well, Virginia reflected, a man who loved dogs couldn’t be all bad. ‘I came to apologize,’ Kevin said, still petting Dinky. ‘For what?’ asked Virginia. She was determined not to let him away with this. ‘For taking you out with the Smarts and letting Glenys away with being so rude to you the whole time.’

‘Rude wasn’t the word,’ Virginia said shortly, remembering the hurt of that evening. ‘What upset me, however, was that you wouldn’t stand up for me. It’s hard for old friends to see a widow or widower with someone else, so I understand her behaviour somewhat, although,’ Virginia’s voice was cold, ‘I certainly don’t condone it. But you let her treat me like that. That was unforgivable. I was your guest and it’s not as if we’re even dating each other, so to let her assume we were was appallingly thoughtless, not to mention presumptuous.’ Kevin got up stiffly. ‘I know and I’m so sorry,’ he said, taking one of her hands in his. Virginia gently slid it away. She didn’t want to be impolite but she didn’t feel that Kevin had earned the right to hold her hand in that lover-like way. ‘Please forgive me,’ he said earnestly. ‘There was no excuse except for the fact that I wish we were dating and that, somehow, made me guilty in front of Glenys’s disapproval.’ Virginia’s upright bearing became marginally more upright and seeing her face tauten, Kevin swept on. ‘I would dearly like to go on a date with you, Virginia,’ he said, ‘both because I like you so much and also, to apologize. How does dinner in my house sound to you? That way, we’re not meeting in public to let the gossips get started and it’ll be very relaxed. I don’t mean to insult you by asking you to my home,’ he added anxiously, ‘there’s no catch, but I am quite a good cook.’ For the first time, Virginia smiled and it lit up her lovely face. ‘If there was any catch, Kevin, you would find yourself in the deepest hot water imaginable,’ she laughed. ‘Then it’s a date? Friday night, perhaps?’ ‘I shall have to consult my diary,’ Virginia said. In her day, no woman leaped at the offer of a date without consulting her diary. They hadn’t needed The Rules to tell them that. ‘I’ll phone you tomorrow to check,’ he said eagerly. ‘Till

then.’ When he took her hand to squeeze it, Virginia didn’t pull away. ‘You’re a disloyal little wretch to quiver so delightedly when he petted you,’ Virginia told Dinky on the walk home. But then, it wasn’t fair to Dinky to say that. She was obviously a good judge of character in that she adored Mary Kate, tolerated Teddy Taxi, and hated Barbara. ‘What do you think of Kevin?’ Virginia asked her. Dinky, sensing that some reaction was required, wagged her tail. ‘Dinner it is, then,’ her mistress said.

As Hope stood in the arrivals hall in the airport waiting for Sam, she couldn’t help but think of the last time she’d been there, waiting for Matt, full of guilt and angst. She’d been so terrified that he’d be able to see that she’d been up to something, as if her guilt was written in big letters across her face. She thought of the interviews she’d read with marriage counsellors who, when asked if guilty spouses should admit their affairs to their partners, always said no. That last day at the airport, she’d longed to tell Matt everything so that he could hug her, forgive her and tell her he understood that it had been nothing. If only she’d done that. Then she wouldn’t be standing here today waiting for her sister, who was coming to offer tea and sympathy. ‘Hope!’ Sam, looking radiantly healthy, threw her arms around her sister and they clung together, Sam in the role of comforter as Hope buried her head in her sister’s shoulder and allowed herself the luxury of tears. ‘How are you doing?’ Sam asked as they stood there, oblivious to the crowds milling around them. ‘OK,’ snuffled Hope. She opened her eyes to see two small boys looking curiously up at them. ‘Come on, let’s go.’ On the drive back to Redlion, Hope told her sister the story, the entire story in all its grisly details.

‘I feel so ashamed,’ she said miserably as they negotiated the bend in the road just before the village bridge. ‘I wanted to tell you all of this before but I thought you’d be disgusted with me.’ ‘Don’t be silly,’ said Sam, hurt at the notion that there was anything Hope couldn’t tell her. ‘You’re my family, you’re the closest person to me in the world, how could you even dream that I’d be disgusted by you?’ ‘Because I’m disgusted with myself,’ Hope said, tearful at Sam’s kindness. Kindness was her undoing. At any kind word, even if it was only the butcher smiling hello at her in a warm manner, she longed to burst into fresh tears. ‘I know that Matt was wrong not to let me explain - he never lets me explain - but I was in the wrong too. It really is my fault, no matter how I try and pretend it isn’t. You, Mary-Kate, everyone tells me he’s at fault and should come back to give our marriage a go, but if it was me, if Matt had even thought about betraying me with anyone else, I don’t know if I could ever forgive him.’ She’d thought about it so much and it was true: if Matt had become really intimate with another woman, Hope knew she wouldn’t have been able to bear it. ‘You don’t mean that,’ Sam said briskly. ‘But I do,’ insisted Hope. ‘I thought I could forgive Matt anything because I need him so much, but I couldn’t forgive him that. I can understand why he’s gone,’ she added, her voice bitter. Sam was nonplussed. ‘You’ve never felt like that in the past, you were perfectly happy to allow Matt to be in control.’ ‘You’re right,’ Hope replied. ‘But the most fundamental part of our marriage was that we needed each other. I can see that now. He needed me just as much as I needed him. You know what his parents are like; they treated him like a second-class citizen. What he loved about me above all was that he was everything to me and that’s why our marriage worked. To his family, he was a nuisance; to me, he