What Lies Inside (A Blood Bound Novel, Book 1) (51 page)

The severity of my words barely registered. The trembling continued throughout Ty’s entire body, becoming more violent by the second. The crack of new bones breaking erupted like a nail gun firing constant rounds. Time was running out. I knew what I had to do, the only thing that could calm the beast.

Amelia, NO!”
Kendrick’s voice screamed.
“It’s too late. Run!”

But I was already moving. My arms coiled around Ty’s waist, forcing his quaking body against mine. “Ty, I love you!” My lips connected with his, forcing them apart.

For a moment Ty struggled against me, shaking so violently it was hard to keep hold of him. Then I felt a sudden change, quick as a gust of wind. Ty’s resistance stalled and his strong hands flew to my cheeks. Our kiss deepened with desperate ferocity as his tongue found mine. The cracking of his bones ceased with a single, full-body convulsion. With a rough scrape of his hands, he released my face to slide them forcefully down my back. They found my hips and his grip tightened before he slammed my pelvis against his. “Say it again.”

Finding words between our connected lips and ragged-breath, I uttered, “I love you, Ty. I will
always
love you.”

The unabated emotion I felt for Ty was suddenly tainted by sickening revulsion. I broke from Ty’s lips and flung my arms across my chest, backing away.
Not my freaking feelings
. The emotion was so embedded through me, it was hard to split the two apart. Almost impossible to convince myself that Kendrick’s revulsion was not my own.

I looked up. Ty was breathing hard, his face a puzzle of hurt and confusion. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… It’s just…”
How can I tell you that my mind and soul belong to someone else? How could you ever still want me after knowing that?

“Amelia, what’s going on?” Ty demanded. The crippling quake had released his body, but a light tremble was still visible.

Still I couldn’t force my lips to reveal what I knew I needed to say. Not yet. Not when we had barely reunited. Not when I had just tasted the sweetness of his full lips, and felt the hard touch of his calloused hands. After everything I had been through, I deserved a moment of blissful happiness, just a few seconds of delusional perfection. There was nothing wrong with that, was there? I wasn’t sure. But I needed this almost as much as I needed to breathe. I needed to show Ty how much I wanted and needed him, and how irrefutably I loved him. There was no way to know how he would react to what I would eventually have to reveal. This shared, intimate moment could be our very last. That knowledge alone sent a flood of agitation pumping adrenaline through my core.

I pushed past Kendrick’s emotions and darted forward, pressing my body hard-up against Ty’s. My free hand caught the back his neck, forcing his lips to meet mine. For the purest moment, Ty kissed me back, lips and body hungry for more. His hands pressed into my back, trapping me against him. Then the revulsion I had so desperately pushed to the back of my mind resurfaced, twisting into total desolation. I knew my time had run out. Even more than that, I realized something with complete and horrific comprehension. Everything I was doing was directly affecting my best friend. He was aware of every single thing I was thinking and feeling. And worst of all, everything I was doing with Ty. In his mind it was like he was himself, kissing and touching and pressed against Ty’s bare chest. In this moment he felt physically sick.

I pulled from Ty for the second time and gripped his forearms. Silently I sent an apology to my best friend. Then I took in a few deep breaths, buying time while an owl hooted from a nearby tree. In the gloom of a cloud-blotted sky, Ty’s expression looked more severe, lacking warm emotion. He struggled for level breath. Panicky jitters rose up from my gut, and I gulped. “There’s something else you need to know. But you have to promise me you won’t run off to kill anyone.” It may be Kendrick that I was bound to, but without Caius the bond would never have been created. “Not even Caius.”

Ty’s hard breathing had begun to slow. He sighed, a long and rattling sound. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

At the shake of my head, Ty took my hand and led me to the fallen log over the frozen river. He pulled me down next to him. “Okay. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. Let me have it.”

I entwined my fingers through his, and bit my lip. “I wish I didn’t have to tell you this. I wish it wouldn’t change us.”
Or the way you feel about me
, I thought silently. “But you deserve to know everything.” With a long, drawn-out breath in and out, I began. “When Kendrick saved my life, it bound our minds and souls…”

When I had finished talking, Ty sat staring up at the starless, black sky. His expression was set with ground-shattering understanding. For every second he remained mute, a deeper, burdening anxiety filled me. This was more information than any one person should have to endure. More than I could ever expect him to accept. I was bound to Kendrick for all eternity. This was the end of us.

Finally, Ty tilted his head back down. I breathed out, realizing I had been holding my breath the entire time. His eyes didn’t meet mine. Instead they looked down to our entwined fingers. “So, when you kissed me, he felt it? He knew what was happening?”

Surprised that his response wasn’t the instant death of out turbulent relationship, I nodded without speaking.

“And you feel his thoughts? You know everything he’s thinking too?” I nodded again. “So you know how much he loves you? How much he wants you?”

I wanted to shake my head in denial. But I couldn’t lie, not about this. Through the eerie nature of our bond, I could access every conflicted and pure feeling Kendrick held for me. There was no doubt he truly loved me.

Ty glanced up with strained eyes, awaiting my response. I swallowed past the acid rising up my throat. “Yes, I know.”

Ty turned his head away and shook his hand free from mine. “And how do you feel about him?”

“I love him too,” I whispered. Ty stiffened, fingers pressing into his scarred thighs while hope from Kendrick twined through our bond. My next words rushed. “But not in the way you think. He’s my best friend and I would die for him. We will always be connected. And I know my feelings for him will never change.”

Ty twisted his head back to me, expression riddled with uncertainty. I collected his hand and clutched it to my heart. “Ty, I’m in love with
you
. Not him.”

Deep down Kendrick had known what my heart held. Still, utter misery scarred him, scorching a channel through my core. It was all I could do to keep breathing, to push the pressing weight of Kendrick’s emotions down.

“Ty, I know this is too much to accept. I’ll totally understand if…”

“No.” Ty’s quiet but determined voice cut me off. His free hand cupped my neck and he pressed his hot lips to mine. “Don’t act like this is the end, like it breaks us. It doesn’t.
Nothing
ever could.” He peered deep into my eyes, thumb grazing away a single fallen tear. “I love you, Amelia. As long as there is still breath in my body, I will
always
love you.”

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If not for the endless support and encouragement of my family and friends, this book mightn’t have spun full-circle to meet its culmination. Thank you all so much for keeping me sane while stoking the kindled fire that was originally lit in my belly.

Special thanks to my husband for offering inspiration and problem solving ideas when I ran into any inescapable dead-ends. Your support and advice means the world to me, even when it was to take a step back and have a break once in a while.

JESSICA L MYERS was born to Dutch parents in Melbourne, Australia, and as a toddler travelled with her parents to many parts of Europe.

As a child Jessica’s vivid imagination and quiet demeanor led her to the imaginary worlds of books. Even at a young age her love for the supernatural was prevalent, with her first loved books being R.L. Stine’s
Goosebumps
series. Following that she took an interest in other non-fantasy fiction, including Virginia C. Andrews series
Flowers in the Attic
.

In her teen years Jessica spent many private school hours writing poetry and dark short stories, and took up sketching some of the terrifying things that came from the graphic nightmares she’d grown up with.

As an adult and after meeting the love of her life, Jessica moved to Brisbane, Australia, got married and started a small construction business with her husband. With the birth of her son, Jessica suffered PPD and found escape in her books and their fantasy landscapes. It was in this time that her need to write flourished. In 2009 the decision was made and the first words to her YA novel
What Lies Inside
were written.

When she’s not writing, Jessica balances being a stay-at-home mum with her family’s business needs while making time to get to the gym and take family vacations.