What Lies Beneath: Romantic Suspense (12 page)

My voice started to tremble. Theo squeezed my hands.

“Go on,” he said. “What happened next?”

“He came at me with a shovel, but then you were there, in the dark. You shot him before he could kill me.”

Theo dropped my hands and took a step back. He looked away. His eyes were dark and unreadable.

“What is it?”

Fear had returned, giving my voice a sharp edge.

“Sweetheart, I didn’t shoot him.”

A long pause stretched out between us.

“What do you mean you didn’t shoot him? Who else could have?”

“You did.”

Now it was my turn to take a step back. I relived the night’s events in my head again. There was a flash of light from a gun barrel, then Mr. Devereaux fell backwards. No. That wasn’t right. He fell to his knees after being shot in the back. Right? Images melted together in my mind, confusing and dreamlike; Mr. Devereaux’s lifeless eyes staring up at me from the mud; a cherry red blossom of blood covering his shirt; a gun in my hand. I pushed away from Theo.

“No… no… that’s not what happened. You shot him and saved me.”

“I got there too late. I was following your car, but got turned around on one of the dirt roads. When I heard the gunshots, I came running. That’s when I found you standing over his dead body, holding the gun. You were pulling the trigger over and over, but you’d already unloaded the entire clip into him.”

My fingers twitched with the memory. I looked down at my hand; it was filthy. Was it covered in gun powder? No. It was just dirt, I told myself.

“I didn’t kill him, Theo.”

My voice cracked; I started to cry. Theo wrapped his arms around me.

“You did what you had to do. It was self-defense. It’s important now that you don’t call the police. They’ll have a lot of questions. I don’t trust them to believe your story.”

“But you believe me, right?”

It was an absurd question. I wasn’t even sure what happened tonight. I couldn’t trust my own memory.

“I know you were trying to protect yourself. If you tell them this confusing story, they’ll become even more suspicious.”

I nodded and buried my face in his chest. I wrapped my arms around him tightly. I breathed in Theo’s scent deeply. He smelled of the woods. I was reminded of lazy Sunday mornings in bed with Tom. We’d lay in bed naked all day, making plans about the future.

It was then I understood that I needed Theo now more than I ever needed anyone in my life. He could be all that was standing between me and prison.

21

I let Theo lead me into his bathroom and clean me up. I stood before him, practically catatonic, as he pulled my filthy dress off. He kept his eyes respectfully- or maybe suspiciously, on me.

He gently cleaned my face and hands with a wash cloth, then slipped one of his shirts over my head. It hung loosely on me, big and comfy and smelling of Theo. After doing his best to wash the mud off me, he led me to his bedroom.

We spent a sleepless night in each other’s arms; his body curled around mine, warm and protective. I closed my eyes and tried, not to remember, but to rewrite the night’s events in my mind. Mr. Devereaux attacked me; Theo saved me by shooting him in the back. I repeated the image in my head again and again, trying to will it into reality.

The more I tried to accept this false memory, the more the truth slipped into my mind. Mr. Devereaux had a gun. I could see it clearly. He pointed it at me wildly. His eyes had been glassy like he was high- no not high; he’d been crying. He didn’t want to kill me, but he had to protect his family. I remembered him saying it over and over: “You can’t take what’s rightfully mine.”

Those words, ‘rightfully mine,’ had made me angry. Mr. Devereaux wasn’t entitled to live peacefully after helping his wife cover-up my husband’s murder. And now he wanted to kill me and make my son an orphan. Who did he think he was?

I could feel the weight of the trigger as I squeezed it. It hadn’t taken much effort; less than I’d imagined. A few seconds later Mr. Devereaux lay dead in the mud, staring up at me with lifeless eyes. Then Theo was there, speaking to me softly, though I have no memory of what he said. He took the gun away from me and helped me to his car.

I turned in bed and rested my head on Theo’s chest. He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back. Theo trusted me; he believed I was innocent. I held onto that thought like a lifeline.

22

Early morning sunlight lit up Theo’s small room. I hadn’t slept all night. Adrenaline still surged through my body. I thought about my painkillers. As soon as I got home, I was going to take a handful of them and sleep forever. The thought startled me. I sat up in bed.

“What’s wrong?” Theo asked.

“Nothing. Maybe you should take me home now.”

“It’s still early.”

“I know, but it’s a school day and I need to pick up Aiden from Maddie’s house.”

Theo nodded. “It’s good to maintain your normal routine. It looks less suspicious.”

I rubbed my eyes. I didn’t want to think about what did or didn’t look suspicious. I just wanted to return to my normal life.

“I’ll take you home. You can change and take a shower, then we’ll drive to Maddie’s to pick up Aiden.”

I didn’t have the energy to argue. I tried to stand, but it was impossible. Sharp pain shot through my knee. I felt like a vice was squeezing it tighter and tighter. It was hugely swollen and red. I had the sinking feeling that I’d broken it again. Theo kneeled before me to examine it. He frowned.

“Don’t say it.”

“You need to go to the doctor,” he replied.

I groaned.

“I’ll help you with Aiden, then take you to the doctor.”

“Thanks.”

Having Theo around was comforting. Life felt a little less ominous when we were together. Still, I had the impression he didn’t want me out of sight. He probably didn’t trust me. I couldn’t blame him. He must have thought I was nuts. Hell, I am nuts. I’m not sure of what’s real anymore.

Theo scooped me up into his arms and carried me to his car.

“My dress…”

“Leave it. I’ll throw it away later.”

“But, it’s one of my favorites.”

“I don’t know if it’s salvageable. It’s caked in mud.”

It made me sad to think I’d never wear it again. It was one more thing I’d lost forever.

~

After taking me home and getting me cleaned up and dressed we drove to Maddie’s house. I waited in the car while Theo went to the door. I couldn’t hear what was said, but Maddie looked thrilled to see Theo standing on her doorstep. I’m sure she found it juicy. She loved gossip more than anything. Hopefully she’d tell everyone in town about it. It would help with my alibi.

Theo collected Aiden and helped him into the car. Immediately, Aiden started asking rapid fire questions.

“Why is Theo here?”

“Will he be picking me up from now on?”

“Can I go to Bella’s house?”

“Is Theo your boyfriend?”

“You’re going home to get dressed for school. We’re running late,” I replied, ignoring all his questions.

“I don’t want to go to school today.”

I was tempted to let him stay home, but like Theo said, it was important to maintain my normal schedule.

“You’re going to school today. No arguments.”

He started to protest, but bit his tongue. He wasn’t used to me being so short with him. I’ve never been temperamental where Aiden’s concerned. It’s bad enough he’s growing up without a dad. Life had dealt him a bad hand; I wanted to make things as easy as possible for him.

“You’ll see Bella at school,” Theo added. “I’m sure she’s eager to see what you’ve been working on.”

“What have you been working on?” I asked.

Aiden pulled a water color painting out of his bag and handed it to me. A red lake full of purple, psychedelic swirls sat between two black houses. Mr. Devereaux’s dead eyes flashed through my mind. A wave of nausea washed over me. I handed the painting back to Aiden quickly.

“You don’t like it?” he asked, sounding hurt.

“No, it’s great,” I said with little enthusiasm. “You’re a talented artist just like your dad.”

Aiden smiled weakly. I could see Tom’s work in Aiden’s painting. They both had a thing for psychedelic, nightmarish landscapes. Fitting, considering I appeared to be living in one.

When we reached home, Aiden jumped out of the car and raced inside.

“Get dressed and get your school work,” I called after him.

I wasn’t sure he’d heard me, but was pleasantly surprised to see him emerge fully dressed, his hair combed and his backpack hanging from his shoulder. He’d managed to accomplish it all in the amount of time it took for me to get out of the car and limp to the house.

I frowned and glanced back at the car.

“Don’t worry,” Theo said. “I’ll take him to school. You go inside.”

“Thanks.”

Exhaustion was starting to catch up with me. Nothing was more appealing to me than lying down and letting sleep take away the events of the last twenty-four hours.

I watched them pull away, then went inside and collapsed on my bed. I’d just drifted off to sleep when I was awoken by a hand, furiously shaking me. I jumped up and looked into the wild eyes of Jillian.

“You have to get up now,” she said.

“What’s wrong?”

“You have to come with me. I’ve discovered something about your husband that you’re not going to believe.”

“What? If this is about the Devereauxes I already know.”

“This is much bigger than the Devereauxes. Come with me and I’ll show you.”

I jumped out of bed and followed her. The pain in my leg was gone. I was too eager to find out what Jillian knew to be bothered by it. I grabbed my crutches and followed her out the back door of my house.

“How did you get here?” I asked.

“I walked. Stop asking pointless questions and follow me.”

“I’m not sure I can. My knee is-”

“Do you want to know the truth about your husband, or not?”

“Can’t you just tell me?”

“No. I have to show you.”

Jillian walked through the back gate and into the alley. She never stopped to see if I was following her. She marched off with determination, like a woman on a mission.

I bit my lip and looked back at my house with indecision. It was a bad idea to leave the house alone. Theo would return, find me missing and worry. My instincts told me to stay home and wait for Theo, but I was dying to know what Jillian had uncovered.

I ran after her as quickly as I could. When I reached the alley, she was already turning onto the main road.

“Hey, wait!” I called.

Jillian didn’t stop, or acknowledge me. She continued down the road. A sinking feeling twisted in my guts. 

By the time I reached the road, a light mist had started to fall. The morning was chilly. I pulled Theo’s coat around me tightly. Jillian disappeared into the fog ahead, but there was no doubt where she was headed. I shivered inside my coat, then set off for the bridge.

23

I was startled by how calm the water was. I walked to its edge and stared out over the distance. Mist hung over the surface like a phantom apparition. Visibility was limited; I could only see about fifteen feet ahead of me.

I stood on the shore and listened hard. I had the feeling I wasn’t alone. I craned my head and closed my eyes. I was met with silence as if the world around me was holding its breath.

Usually, people walked or picnicked in the park surrounding the lake, but this morning it was a ghost town. I took a step. My foot sunk into the mud with a wet, sucking sound that echoed across the water. There was a light splash from somewhere in the mist.

“Hello?” I called.

My voice echoed beneath the bridge and returned with a high-pitched whisper of: “Hello?”

My echoed voice sounded like a demented little girl. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

I stepped away from the water and headed towards the bridge. I assumed Jillian had returned to her cabin. I would try and find her there. I quietly cursed her beneath my breath. Would it have killed her to wait for me?

When I reached the middle of the bridge there was a loud splash below me, as if someone had jumped in. I ran to the edge and looked over, but the water was as calm and flat as a mirror. I searched for any sign of movement, but found nothing.

As I peered down into the water, I couldn’t help thinking of Tom’s final moments. Had he leaned over the edge and looked down? Or had Mrs. Devereaux taken him by surprise and pushed him in? He probably didn’t have time to think about anything. His last moments were most likely filled with panic and fear.

Anger radiated through my body; my hands shook. The guilt I’d felt over Mr. Devereaux’s death vanished. He may not have pushed Tom into the water, but he helped cover it up.

The memory of squeezing the trigger flashed through my mind. I’d felt nothing but relief to see him fall. He’d help my husband’s killer get away with it, and he thought he could just as easily dispose of me. Mr. Devereaux learned the hard way that he can’t get away with everything.

I pushed on through the mist and came to Jillian’s house. The windows were shuttered and the house looked dark. I walked up to the front door and knocked. No one answered and I couldn’t hear anyone inside. Could she have gone down to the water? What if the splash I’d heard was her? I couldn’t imagine Jillian going into the freezing lake- not willing, anyway.

I pushed open the door to her cabin. I didn’t want to stand outside, exposed and vulnerable.

Inside was dark. Shadows danced across the walls but I couldn’t locate their origin. The room was disorienting. I felt like I was underwater looking up at the surface.

I moved along the wall trying to find the light switch. When I couldn’t find it, I moved to the windows and tried to open the shutters. I pulled hard, but they wouldn’t open. They appeared to be nailed shut from the inside.

Light drifted in from a window on the East side of the house. I went to it and was able to pull the shutter open a few inches. It was enough to cast a feint glow around the room. Through the crack I could see mist floating above the lake. The top of the bridge peeked out through the fog directly across from the window. Jillian had a clear view of everything that happened the night of Tom’s death.

“Keep it closed,” a voice said from behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder. Jillian stood in the hallway. She was in the shadows, but I could see her long hair hanging around her face. Wide eyes stared out, unblinking and dark.

“They might be watching us,” she said.

I closed the shutter, but left it open an inch. I didn’t want to be left completely in the dark.

Jillian took a step towards me quickly, then stopped as if something was preventing her from moving closer. I stayed where I was. I was too afraid to move, but I wasn’t sure what the source of my fear was. Was it Jillian? The cabin? The lake?

Everything about this left me uneasy. What if I was sleepwalking? The thought flashed through my mind out of the blue. Could this be a dream?

I peeked through the crack in the shutter and looked at the bridge. The world outside was still and dreamlike. I closed my eyes, then put all of my weight on my bad knee. The pain was immediate and intense. Stars danced in front of my eyes; a wave of nausea passed through me. If I was sleeping the pain would wake me up.

I opened my eyes. I was still in the cabin. Jillian had moved back into the shadows. I could hear her laugh in the dark.

“You’re not dreaming,” she said. How did she know what I was thinking? “I know you better than you think,” she said as if reading my mind. “I am you.”

The floorboard creaked with her footsteps. I pushed myself flat against the wall.

“Or at least I used to be you,” she added.

“I don’t understand.”

“I was in the same position as you- a cheating, abusive husband. One day, I had enough. He came home drunk and angry… I knew it was either him or me. I’m still standing…”

“That’s not what happened with Tom. He never abused me and I had nothing to do with his death. I know because Mr. Devereaux told me what happened. His wife killed Tom and he helped cover it up.”

I sensed a shift in the dark.

“Then what were you doing on the bridge that night?”

“I don’t know. That doesn’t matter right now. Why am I here? What did you want to tell me? You said this was bigger than the Devereauxes.”

“Who are the Devereauxes?”

I pushed away from the wall. She was making me angry.

“Stop playing games. You told me you saw a woman wearing a scarf on the bridge with my husband- that was Mrs. Devereaux. They were having an affair,” I admitted reluctantly.

I shouldn’t be telling Jillian this. I could see Theo’s disapproving face in my head. I didn’t think Jillian would talk to the police given her history with them, but you never know. The less she knew the better. Still, I couldn’t help telling her what I learned. Once I started it was hard to stop. It felt good to confide in someone. Though, I didn’t tell her anything about what happened with Mr. Devereaux the previous night. She picked up on this immediately.

“Why did Devereaux tell you all this?”

“I confronted him about it a couple days ago. He confessed to me,” I lied.

Jillian stepped forward. Half her body was in the light; the other in the dark. She stared at me intensely. I looked away. I felt like a little kid lying to their mother.

“That’s not how it happened. Devereaux’s dead.”

The sinking feeling returned to my gut. I was having trouble breathing.

“He’s dead?” I tried to play dumb. My voice was barely a whisper; it sounded like the creepy echo I’d heard by the water.

“Dead and gone; never to return. But you already knew that. You were there. You killed him, just like you killed your husband.”

I didn’t feel like arguing with her anymore. I wanted to leave the cabin and return home to Theo. He was probably back by now and wondering where I’d gone.

I moved towards the door. Jillian cut me off. A flash of light caught my eye. When she stepped out of the dark, she had something shiny in her hand. Now her arm was behind her back hiding the object.

“It was you all along,” she said in a singsong voice.

I backed up against the wall. Jillian tilted her head to the side to consider me.

“How did a pathetic thing like you manage to kill two men? Look at you, you’re shaking.” She scoffed and frowned with disappointment.

I pulled open the shutters. There was just enough room for me to squeeze through. I had to leave my crutches behind as I threw myself out the window. I fell to the cold, wet ground, landing on my side. In an instant, Jillian was at the window staring down at me. She had an amused smile on her face.

“There’s no running away from this,” she said. “Your husband’s dead. It was you along. He deserved it after what he did to you.”

I half dragged, half crawled away. I couldn’t stand so I dug my hands into the mud and pulled myself along while kicking with my good leg. I kept my gaze on the lake. If I could make it to the water, I’d be alright. I had no idea why I was so sure of this, but it felt right.

Suddenly it occurred to me that this had to be a dream. You can’t really die in a dream, so I was safe. This thought did little to comfort me.

Jillian moved fast, too fast for a woman her age. She grabbed my wrist and held up my arm.

“Look what he did to you,” she said. “Look at it.”

I closed my eyes and turned my head away. I didn’t want to look at Jillian’s face. I half expected to see a twisted, nightmare creature before me. Jillian grabbed my face. Her touch burned my skin.

“Open your eyes,” she ordered.

I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as I could.

“Open them or you’ll never see the truth.”

Her nails dug into my wrist; my face burned like I’d had acid thrown on me. A sharp pain dug into my arm. I knew then that the object Jillian was holding was a knife. Searing hot pain cut through my arm as the skin parted against the blade’s edge.

“Open… your… eyes…” she said angrily.

I couldn’t take it any longer. I opened my eyes. What I saw left me confused. I expected to see a bloody wound on my arm, instead there was a scar. It ran across my bicep and around my elbow. I couldn’t remember ever seeing it before.

“Open your eyes,” she said again.

“They’re open.”

“Open your eyes.”

Jillian shook me violently. Suddenly, it was bright out. I was on the ground behind Jillian’s cabin. The lake was a few feet away. The mist had cleared. A gentle breeze blew across the water, chilling the air. Jillian was nowhere to be seen. In her place sat Theo. He held my wrist firmly.

“Sabine, open your eyes.”

He was trying to stay calm, but there was an edge of fear to his words.

“My eyes are open…” I said dreamily.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked.

“Jillian wanted to talk to me. She said she knew about the Devereauxes so I followed her to the cabin.”

“There’s no one here. The place is all boarded up.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said dismissively, but I was losing faith in my own sanity. I had a horrible feeling Theo was right.

I pushed myself up and tried to wipe off some of the dirt covering me. It did little good; I was filthy. Theo tried to give me a hand, but I pushed him away. I was suddenly angry at him. I’m not sure why, but I resented the fact that he saw me for who I am. Maybe because I was afraid that the real me was a raving lunatic. I don’t think Theo saw me that way, but it was a frightening thought.

I moved towards the house to examine it closer. The window I’d fallen through was open. Boards were scattered across the ground with nails sticking out of them. I must have pried them loose when I entered, or exited the cabin.

I leaned inside and looked around. The cabin was dark and empty except for some furniture that was covered with blankets. It didn’t look like anyone had lived here for a while.

“Sabine-”

“Please tell me she’s real, Theo. I don’t think I can handle it if you tell me Jillian doesn’t exist.”

“She’s real, sweetheart. After you told me about sleepwalking and meeting her on the bridge, I looked her up. It’s like they say: she killed her husband, most likely in self-defense.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn’t completely crazy. Jillian was real; I’d spoken to her and Theo confirmed her existence.

“But she’s not here now…”

“No,” Theo said delicately.

“It looks like she left town.”

“How did you know where I was?”

“You told me you come here when you sleepwalk. And I knew there was no way you could’ve gotten far on foot especially with your knee the way it is. Actually, I’m surprised you made it this far.”

I looked down at my arm. The scar was still there. I cradled my elbow, holding it to my chest.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“No. I just…”

A memory lurked at the edge of my mind. I couldn’t quite hold onto it. I remembered raising my arm to block an attack. Cold, sharp pain shot through my arm, radiating up to my shoulder. A knife. I’d been cut. I leaned against the cabin for support.

“Sabine, I’m taking you home right now. I can tell you’re not well. I have no idea how you made it all the way up here from you house, but it can’t be good for your leg.”

Theo wrapped an arm around my waist. His arm tightened around me. Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I pushed away from him.

“Don’t fight me on this,” he said. “You need to rest.”

“I can’t…”

I clutched my chest. Theo helped me sit down.

“Sabine, look at me.”

Theo took my hand and placed it on his chest. “I’m here. I’m real and I want to help you, but you have to let me in.”

“I can’t…”