“Done,” he said and pulled his phone from his pocket. “Wait here and I’ll get the car.” He lightly kissed her temple as she nodded and watched him walk away.
Without his support, her knees felt weak and tears threatened to spill at any moment. She leaned against the stone wall of the stairs and while her eyes followed Patrick, she wasn’t really seeing anything. She glanced back at the front door and wondered whether she should tell Michelle, Grayson, and Veronica good-bye. With an icy certainty, she felt sure things weren’t going to go smoothly at home. Her mind allowed a brief thought as to what Richard might have in store for her, but she quickly shook it away, knowing she’d lose her nerve if she thought about it.
“Kelsey!” Patrick called from the bottom of the steps.
She stood and quickly joined him. He opened the door and silently helped her in, then raced around the car and climbed in, barely getting buckled before he sped away. Kelsey focused on the road in front of her, not trusting herself enough to speak.
“There’ll be a plane ready to take off as soon as we get there.” He took her hand and squeezed it. Kelsey mumbled her thanks then turned to the window. Patrick glanced at her often but didn’t ask any questions. His silence was almost enough to break her, but she refused to say anything, afraid she’d unleash a floodgate if she did.
She knew that what she was about to do was probably close to suicide. Richard’s anger had been escalating over the past year and she was no longer sure what he was capable of or willing to do. There was no doubt in her mind that he had every intention of killing her when she arrived. If Patrick knew that, he wouldn’t let her go. Not alone anyway, and she wouldn’t put him in that kind of danger.
They arrived at a small, private airport and hurried to the waiting plane. They made their way out to the tarmac and Patrick tossed her suitcase to the attendant before he put his hands on her arms.
“Let me come with you,” he pleaded again.
“No.” He refused to let her wiggle free. She knew he could see the tears pooling in her eyes, but she managed a faint smile. “I’ll call you as soon as I can, I promise.”
“You’d better,” he said weakly. She gave him a quick kiss then turned her feet in the direction of the plane. He grabbed her hand and she froze as he took a step closer, resting his forehead against hers. “I love you.”
She looked into his eyes and her heart clenched. She was afraid that what she was about to put him through would change that. “I love you.” She laid her hand on his cheek for a moment, then quickly stepped back and ran to the plane.
From her seat, she watched him through the window. His expression was troubled but surprisingly calm. He waved to her and she held her hand up to him, studying everything about him and hoping she’d see him again.
The plane slowly taxied to the runway and Patrick watched them pull away. Kelsey watched his expression change as he faded. When she saw him reach into his pocket and pull out his phone, she was both excited and afraid he’d stop the plane.
They were airborne when it finally crashed down on her. She’d just said good-bye to the man she loved without being completely honest with him. She’d made him send her on a trip that her gut told her would end badly. And she knew, deep down, that all of it was because she’d kept Zach a secret for so long. Richard had never hesitated to use that secret against her when he wanted something from her. The gravity of her actions finally sank in, and her tears were uncontrollable.
It was overcast when Kelsey’s plane landed and drizzling as she walked out to her rental car, thankful she’d changed into jeans and a t-shirt on the plane. She called Janelle as soon as she was on the highway headed for home, and they hypothesized on where to find Richard. He refused to tell Janelle exactly where he was, afraid she’d call the police, but he’d been kind enough to drop a few clues. Together, Kelsey and Janelle had come up with his family’s lake house, nestled on a fairly unpopulated, treeless piece of shore front property.
Once she had the directions entered into her GPS and had hung up her phone, she turned the radio up. The song was upbeat but did nothing to lift her spirits. She turned the volume back down and stared at the road in front of her, her mind drifting to the first memory she had of Richard and she smiled.
It was senior prom night for Janelle, who’d only been dating Richard for a month. It was the first time Kelsey and the family had actually gotten to meet this guy who made Janelle giggle all the time. Kelsey was almost thirteen and had thought Richard was possibly one of the most handsome guys she’d ever laid eyes on.
His brown hair was thick and a little curly in the back. His blue eyes were so crisp and happy, the color of a clear spring sky. He sat at the dining room table while they waited for Janelle. He easily won Kelsey over by talking about things she was interested in, pretending he liked them too. He was especially supportive of the play she was practicing for and promised to go to it. He’d kept his promise and gave her a bouquet of daisies after it was over.
The memory faded. Kelsey wiped a tear away and forced herself to stop thinking about that. She checked to see how much longer until she reached him. Thirty minutes. She turned down city streets, focusing on the directions, making herself ignore the happy, smiling mental snapshots she had of her brother-in-law.
As she drove, she started to remember Sean’s funeral. She could feel Richard standing between her and Janelle, strong and supportive, almost stoic. Sean’s death had greatly affected him, but if he’d cried, Kelsey never saw it. He’d taken care of Janelle, flattered Mary with stories of some of his times with Sean, and still managed to make sure Kelsey was okay.
That memory slowly merged into the wedding. He and Janelle were both so happy that day. The grins were plastered to their faces and he’d joked that his would freeze that way. The wedding was beautiful; he’d looked even better in his tux than he had at prom. Kelsey had thought Janelle was a lucky woman and hoped she could find someone one day who would make her just as happy.
The memories faded again as Kelsey blinked profusely and put her foot on the brake as she wove back into her lane. She started to wonder when things had begun to go downhill. After Janelle and Richard’s wedding, Kelsey only saw them at holidays, but they had always seemed happy. He only drank a glass of wine with dinner, joked with George, flattered Mary, and waited on Janelle hand and foot.
Five years after their wedding, Kelsey, as a recent college graduate and five months pregnant, moved in with them. Having her around didn’t seem to affect them at all. They still acted like honeymooners and after Zach was born, Richard was on top of the world. Soon after that, Kelsey had moved to Los Angeles.
Kelsey had come home for a week at Christmas that year. Zach was three months old, but Kelsey could already see a difference in Richard’s behavior. Janelle had laughed it off, saying they were still adjusting to the new baby and his schedule, but even she’d seemed on edge when Richard was in the room. Kelsey had tried to ignore the little arguments they had when they thought no one was around. And though she’d stayed in their home, she’d hardly seen him. He was out every night, and didn’t usually come home until she was asleep.
She checked the GPS again and saw she only had fifteen minutes left. The winding road she was on really deserved more focus than she was giving it. She turned the radio volume up and put her window down, trying to keep herself alert and focused. It worked for a little while before she flashed to the most recent memories. She shuddered as she remembered his increasingly violent behavior and her foot hit the gas.
The last part of the trip was spent going through “what ifs” and numerous other questions. What if she was too late? What if he was too drunk to reason with? What if she couldn’t convince him to let Zach go home? What if she couldn’t give him what he wanted? What did he want? The list went on and on as her tears waxed and waned with her thoughts.
It was pouring rain when she finally pulled up to the lake house and parked beside Richard’s car. She noticed new dents and scratches on it and bit her lip as she touched them, hoping they were at least a couple of days old and no one else was hurt. Kelsey pulled her shoulders back as she slowly covered the short distance to the porch.
Random trees separated the property from the lake and she could see a few house lights on the opposite shore. She looked past the house to the closest neighbor, judging the distance to be about a quarter of a mile away. The patter of rain was almost deafening as she strained to hear any sounds from the house. A muffled scream escaped from inside and her knees weakened as she climbed the steps quietly and walked to the door.
She knocked and called to him, “Richard, I’m here.”
H
e called for her to enter, and Kelsey cautiously opened the door. The house was dark as she poked her head in and reached for the light switch. Richard turned it on before she could reach it, and she saw him sitting at the small, round dining table to her right, beer bottle in one hand, the other hand wrapped around the handle of a handgun. His head was down but his eyes were focused on her. Zach’s screams and cries were loud and Kelsey almost stopped breathing when he called for his “Mommy” between screams.
She stepped into the room and quickly glanced around. It was still fairly dark; the only light came from directly above Richard, casting strange shadows everywhere. The living room to her left was in shambles and the kitchen, directly in front of her, had boxes and bags on every surface, as if someone was living there rather than only using it occasionally. There were at least a half dozen empty bottles on the counter and a few others scattered about the room.
Kelsey looked at Richard again and his lip curled, revealing crooked, stained teeth. His brown hair was thinning and gray; the curls were all gone. His cheeks were sunken, his eyes were cloudy, and he was much thinner. The realization that this was not the same man her sister had married made Kelsey sick, and the changes she saw in Richard since three months before left her too stunned for words. She hardly recognized him.
Zach continued to scream and Kelsey’s heart was trying to leap from her chest.
“Good,” Richard said simply. “Zach, you can shut up now!” he yelled over his shoulder, then turned back to her with a sneer. “Mommy’s here!”
Zach’s cries got louder and Kelsey’s eyes rounded on Richard as her jaw clenched.
“Richard, what did you tell him?” she asked softly and took two more hesitant steps into the room, toward Zach’s screams. Her eyes burned with tears as her heart continued to race.
“Just the truth,” he slurred. “He deserves that much, doesn’t he?”
“Yes,” she replied with a slight nod.
“He deserves to know he has a famous ‘mommy.’ A ‘mommy’ who didn’t want him. A ‘mommy’ who abandoned him. A ‘mommy’ who cares more about herself than she does for him.”
She blinked quickly, trying to force the tears to stop even as her lip quivered. She shook her head. “That’s not true.” She took another step, giving the table a wide berth as she tried to get to Zach. “I love him very much. I did what I thought was best for him. You and Janelle were the best thing for him.”