What i Found In You (27 page)

              "June told me about the night Alik told you what he did for me, she said you threatened to kill him."

              "Alik understands me better than June. It is partly my fault she watches Araya for me so closely. Ario and Ayara were listening to what happened after they left. It was a ploy to save face in the midst of all of this. Still this story brings up a very good point, in that Alik injured me that night. Not on purpose of course but in the moment we put on our show for Araya and Ario, the fact we are vampire ruled to our core by our instincts. It was natural for him to fight for his existence when he was the only thing keeping you alive that night. Considering it was the first time Alik had done anything so reckless in his existence as vampire it was all very delicate." Lilith rubbed the bridge of her nose as if she was tired, the most human thing I have ever seen her do. "Loyalty is rare where vampire are concerned. June, Alison, Alik, and yourself are the four I trust to show any form of weakness around. And I think it's catching up to me. You have no idea how comforting it is to talk with you like this," she smiled.

              “Has Alik told you that he would change me himself?”

              “Does that mean you will be joining us soon?"

              "I'm not sure just yet."

              "I see." There was disappointment hidden in that reply. "Well, has he told you he hates me despite understanding why I am who I am?” She was looking for information now.

              “He has done things that he would have never wanted to do and seen things he would not have wanted to see. He warned me that a life around you wasn’t a life I would want,” I said looking down, but she moved next to me and lifted my head, smiling. "Never has he said he hates you, he loves you for all you have done for him." A single red tinged tear spilled from her eye.

              “Then when you do become one of us, do you now understand that there may come a time where I would have to ask something of you that you may not wish to do if you do not take Alik far from wherever I am?”

              “I understand, but I don’t think I could do that to Alik. It would be easier for us to fight for our lives by your side than to ever leave you.” I tried to keep the confidence in my voice.

              She smiled. “Alik has never been so protective of anyone around me; it warmed my cold heart to see him with you. Even June has taken to you more than you could know. For a human, no offense, you have an odd effect on the vampire around you.” Her smile brightened.

              "This might sound like something a child would say, but when I become a vampire, I want to be like you."

              "Even with all my defects?"

              “I’ve seen you walk into a room and instantly take command, listen to how much you care for your children, and face one to fifteen odds and come out after the fight covered in blood and your biggest worry was that you got some blood in your hair. I think if I could be half of who you are, I would be doing pretty good.” She hugged me for a long time and I hugged her back.

              I spent the rest of my winter vacation with Alik and Sam until I had to go back to school and my blan human life reinstated itself. Alik seemed happier that I was now at school and away from all the vampire turmoil, but he had been oddly distant with me. Even when he was near, there wasn’t that same feeling between us. One night, it became too much for me to handle as we were walking the campus by moonlight.

              "Okay, what the hell is it, Alik? I’m tired of your foul mood," I said, stopping him.

              "What mood?"

              "This distance you put between us. It’s driving me insane. You don’t hold me like you used to and you don‘t look at me the same either. What is it? Do you not love me anymore?" He turned to me and for a long moment, the distance was replaced with pain.

              "Don’t ever think that. How could you even consider that?" he said a little hurt.

              "Then what is it? You’re not giving me many options here," I started raising my voice.

              "Don’t you just hate when that happens?" he said back at me and I remembered what I put him through with Phil. I wouldn't forgive myself for that, but he didn't have to remind me of it.

              “This isn’t the same as that, so stop with the bullshit.”

              “This is the same, you just don’t understand. I could have lost you then, just as easily as I could have that night in Africa. How could I have been so fucking stupid to take you there in the first place?” He pulled free of me and started to pace in the snow.

              "Not possible; you were there protecting me."

              "It’s not even about me protecting you that night. Vanessa, this isn’t normal. We are not normal. It drives me crazy to think that one day it will all be too much and that you will want out. It is fear of what I am; the fear of you saying you couldn't love a monster, that you never wanted to see me again.”

              “DO NOT stand here and question my love for you. I don’t care what you are, or whatever stupid foul mood you’re in. I will not forgive you for doing that.”

              “I’m sorry, that came out wrong, but how can you love a monster?”

              “I love you, so deal with it. Not even death will change that.”

              “You were very close to meeting my friend that night.”

              “You were watching over me; I was perfectly safe,” I tried to soothe him.

              “No, I was not. When Aaliyah spoke to me, I forgot everything. June, my mother, and even you; all of it was gone. All I saw was Jack and my fury; I didn’t even remember why I was angry. That anger grew with every drop of vampire blood I took. Then, the feeling as Jack’s soul left his body, and when I crushed it in my hand… it was intoxicating.” He closed his eyes and squeezed his fist together as if remembering the sensation caused him some sort of internal struggle. “So much more so than the strongest of alcohol to an alcoholic or the virgin blood to a starving vampire. There were sixteen vampire that fought with us that night, and there were twenty-eight that lay bleeding on the ground just barely alive after I destroyed Jack. That’s forty four souls; forty four more times that I could have enjoyed that pleasure again and again and again. For a moment, before you touched me, I thought to make you the first. My mother or anyone there could not have stopped me. The self-control that it took for me to stand there while you raised your hand to my cheek was more than I thought I could handle. I wanted to more than kill you, Vanessa. How can you look at me the same now that you know I wanted to kill you?"

              "We go against everything, Alik. A love like ours should not exist, and yet we do. Your cool, smooth hand has never left my warm one. Not ever. Even through all of my nonsense in the beginning," I said, gently taking his hand.

              "It did, just for that moment." He turned away from me, letting my hand go.

              "So what now? Are you going to leave me?" I asked, placing my arms around him and resting my head against his back.

              "I couldn’t, not even if I wanted to. You are too much a part of me, Vanessa."

              "Then what’s the problem? Are you blaming yourself for something you didn't even do?" I accused him and turned him around. "Well, I’m not angry. Look at me." He turned his face. "I said look at me." I placed my hand on his cheek and forced him to look at me.

              "I will be the death of you, Vanessa.”

              “I’ve been hoping for that.”             

              “That’s not funny.”

              “You know what I meant.”

              “Are you taking your offer back to turn me yourself?”

              “No, but still.”

              “But what?”

              “Why do you even love me like this?" I noticed that he changed the subject, but I let it pass.

              "Everyone always seems to need to ask ‘why do you love me?’. Why does my love need a reason?"

              "Can I tell you why I love you?"

              "Why?"

              "Ever since that first night at Masteria, when I looked into your eyes, they sparkled like nothing I had ever seen in life or death. Since you asked me that first question, your voice was the realest thing that I have heard since the nightmare I now inhabit started. Since that first kiss, your touch was the softest and kindest thing I had felt in eleven hundred years. I have not felt alive for a long time, and when I saw you that day, you made me feel alive even when my heart is silent. I know my heart is cold and dead so it’s not much, but it’s yours forever." He looked at me the way he used to and his touch was like it used to be.

              "Those are the eyes of my Alik," I said with my hand on his cheek.             

              "Sorry, I took a wrong turn." His smile was my Alik's smile

              "Like all men, you couldn't have just asked for directions?" He laughed, taking my hand as we walked like we used to.             

              "Please, lead on."

Vanessa Stanton

Chapter 37.0

              My first year of college came and went faster than I would have thought. With a whole summer break looming over me, I was just at home watching a movie with Sam as she was braiding my hair when I heard a car outside. It wasn’t a car I had ever heard before. I got up and went to the door and saw Alik next to a new white car.

              “What is this?” I asked as I walked out the door to greet him with a kiss.

              “A new toy,” he said, smiling.

              “I can see that. I mean what is it called?”

              “The Aston Martin V12 Vantage. Want to go for a ride?”

              “Sure, but what about Sam?”

              “She can follow us, she would like the excitement.”

              I went inside and told Sam about Alik’s idea, and of course she was all for that. I don’t see how these two could be so happy about driving in New York City. There are police, pedestrians, and traffic to get in your way. We got in the cars and it was like they both knew where they were going to go. The sun was setting and in about ten minutes, it would be dark in the city, yet the big thing was that there was no traffic. It was like there was some invisible signal and I was slammed into the back of my seat as both cars took off down a narrow back street. I had never been in a car that was moving this fast and so close to other objects. I could hear Sam getting further back and it wasn’t that Alik was a better driver, I think Sam was his equal even being completely human. It was just that this car was so much faster than her BMW. I figured that she knew where Alik would stop and just enjoyed the speed. Soon, cargo containers were flashing by the window and in between them, I could see a narrow strip of water. Then there was a loud screech and the sound of another engine. I thought Sam might have lost control somewhere, but there was no sound of a crash, just the other engine revving higher and higher. Soon, I saw a car between the cargo containers. It was black with all of its windows blacked out. It kept pace with Alik until we ran out of dock. Alik slid the car to a stop at the foot of a crane and we got out with the car ticking itself cool.

              “Do you know who that was?” I could still hear the other car’s engine.

              “Yeah, I saw her face in the mirror.”

              “Her? How could you? The windows were all blacked out?”

              “To you they were, but to me and Ceil, they were clear as glass.”

              “Ceil was in that car?”

              “Yeah.”

              The other car slowed to a stop and a young girl got out carrying a long staff that I remembered all too well.

              “I figured you would drive an Aston. Lilith told me you lived in this city,”  Ceil said.

              “You know, a simple call would have done it.”

              “Too easy,” she smirked.

              “Supercharged Jag XFR?”

              “Yeah, you like?”

              “I was never into Jags or V8’s myself, but it makes a great noise.”

              “That’s why I bought it really: that raw, simplistic roar.”

              “So, what is it you really want?”

              “You.”

              “What do you mean him?” I asked.

              "It’s you, of course. No one watched you as closely as I did that night. It was more than I could stand not to jump in myself and try and kill you."

              "If you’re looking for a fight, I'm a little busy tonight, so sorry."

              "I was really hoping you would have agreed," she sighed. "I did not want to have to attack an unwilling target."

              “I'm not unwilling, but…"

              "You weren't being given a choice," she cut him off and many things happened all at once after she said that. In the time it took me to blink, Ceil covered fifty feet and was in front of me. She turned on the spot, and I felt my feet leave the ground and the next thing I knew, a silver ring was coming at me. For a second, I could see my own reflection in the blade as it missed me by less than an inch. Alik had me behind him and Ceil was flying back toward a cargo container. When she hit it, she used it as support to stop herself. "That was amazing," Ceil said, shaking with excitement. That staff she carried now had an elaborate curved blade at the end. With a click, it retracted back within the staff and she took aim and threw it at Alik’s head. She was behind him now and in between us. He just dodged her kick by dropping to the ground. He spun on his hands and knocked her feet from under her. As her staff flew overhead, she caught it and used her free hand to break her fall and pushed off the ground in a flip. In the middle of her flip, Alik landed a kick to her back, sending her flying backwards and upside down. She skipped across the water like a stone. She caught hold of a loop hanging off of a cargo ship docked on the other side of the river. Kicking off of the boat, she landed gracefully on the dock. "Ow" was all she said as she cracked her back.

              "Ceil, leave now before I kill you. And believe me, I will."

              "Please don’t think that you are better than me just off of that small display, little Alik." She attacked again, even faster now. Her staff now a scythe and a blur in the lamplight slashed at Alik and cracks appeared in the asphalt beneath them; this was nothing like his training with June. There was hate and anger here but I also sensed lust and excitement, you could feel it in the air. Again, Alik got in between her defense and sent her flying into a cargo container. She did not recover this time and fell to the ground with her hair all over her face, her scythe lying next to her. Then she started to laugh. "You are even more magnificent than I thought. I want more!" She grabbed the scythe and was at it again, her ferocity increased even more than before; the speed of her blade was so great that it began to glow red. Alik then made a move and again, many things happened at once. Shattering steel littered the ground and Ceil lay pinned by the neck under Alik. "What are you going to do? Are you really going to kill me, Alik?" she choked out, but Alik did not respond. His grip just increased slowly.

              "Alik, no!" I screamed, running over and trying to pull him off of her. "Let her go, Alik. She’s no threat anymore,” I screamed, but he didn’t respond. Then, I felt a cold hand around my neck and was looking into a pair of green eyes and felt the ground scrape my skin as I was flung across it.

              "Girl, do not interfere,” Aaliyah said in a cold voice. She walked over to Alik and placed her arms around him lovingly. "If you wish to kill her, it’s okay. She doesn’t mean anything to anyone. What does it matter? Pawns who have served a purpose have no place but destruction," she whispered into his ear. Ciel's eyes widened in fear and she stared into Alik's eyes. "You remember the feeling, don’t you? The sense of power at your fingertips? Use it again; know that her life is at your every command. Will her to die." Alik began to breathe faster and faster until he jumped back.

              "No, I can’t." I saw fear in his eyes.

              "Then kill the human girl if you do not want to kill our own kind. What use is she? There are billions of them. There is no need to keep just one." Aaliyah's voice was sweet and manipulative.

              "Vanessa," he said, looking around and spotted me on the ground a few yards away. "Vanessa!" he yelled, starting toward me.

              “Stop! Alik, she means nothing to vampire like you. You are worthy of royalty above some mere human," Aaliyah said, holding him back and he stopped fighting her and turned to look at her. "Leave the human and I will spare her life this one time. Come with me and be mine, Alik. I need someone like you beside me," she urged in a loving tone so close to him.

              "Alik, no. Please." I reached out to him.

              "Come with me and have a purpose you could only dream of; feel a power you could never imagine."

              He looked at me, his eyes filled with sorrow and hurt. "Take me away." he sighed.

              "Alik, I knew you would make the right choice." She took his hand before giving me a smile and then they were gone.

              How did everything come to this point with me laying on the ground, feeling as if every bone in my body had been broken? I didn’t know what to do as I slowly passed out from the pain. At times, it felt like I was being moved. Like there were warm soft hands that picked me up and placed me into a soft chair. I imagined that I heard an engine and felt a car weaving in and out of traffic, and a voice told me that I will be fine. Then there was silence, and then a soft bed beneath me.