What about us? (19 page)

“Grace!” I shouted, pounding
towards her.  “GRACE, MOVE!”

She turned her head at the
sound of her name being called, then looked up and saw the car.  She froze and
didn’t or couldn’t move.  I heard someone scream.  Everything was happening in
slow motion and I was still too far away.

I launched myself through the
air and collided with her, my weight carrying her sideways.  We landed hard on
the road and there was the sickening sound of bones breaking.  A shot of fire
went up my arm and everything began to shift out of focus.

“Grace, are you alright?”

What came out of my mouth was
little more than a whisper, but she heard it, despite all the other noises
going on in the chaos that surrounded us.

“Yes, I’m fine.  Try not to
move.”

Her face swam in front of me,
her honey brown eyes full of concern.

In the distance someone was
still screaming and I heard someone else say that the flow of blood should be
stopped.  That made me panic; was she bleeding?

“Grace, are you ok?” I asked
again, more urgently.

“Yes, I’m fine, really I am.  Try
not to move, the ambulance is on its way.  What’s your name?”

“Jack.”

“Ok Jack, stay with me.  How
old are you?”

It was hard to speak.  “Twenty...
I’m twenty seven.”

“Good Jack.  Where do you
live?”

She was holding my hand as she
spoke.  I realised I was cold and I wasn’t able to think straight, because my
mind was full of thick fog.

There was another voice nearby,
but I didn’t know that one.

“He was in the cafe,” said the
voice.  “I thought he was trying to get away without paying.  He’s been there
all afternoon, sitting with his eyes closed, ordering stuff but then not
touching it, just sitting there.  There was a package delivered to him a couple
of hours ago, maybe that will have his details on.  Ooer, what was that...? No
wait a minute... that wasn’t him, that was last week I think... or was it? No
it wasn’t, silly me; it was on the film last night.  What am I like?”

“It doesn’t matter.  Jack, Jack. 
Look at me Jack.” Grace was saying insistently.

I tried to hear her properly,
but she was getting lost in the fog.

“Jack stay with me, open your
eyes.  Jack, can you hear me?”

I tried to open them and focus
on her face.  She appeared to be shimmering, but surely only time travellers
shimmer...

“Urrrrgh...”

The dreadful sound seemed to be
coming from me.  My lips were parched and my tongue was stuck to the roof of my
mouth.

“Easy now tiger.” said a soft
lilting voice, floating towards me from somewhere else.

For a moment, I panicked.  “There’s
a tiger?”

Where on earth was I?

“No my lovely, no tigers, only
us nurses.”

“Nurses?”

I struggled to open my eyes.  Everything
hurt, but not as much as the pounding in my head and the back of my neck.

“Easy now, don’t try to move.”
said the voice, now nearer.

My eyes began to adjust.  It
wasn’t quite light, but nor was it dark.  The light that the nurse seemed to be
bathed in had a greenish quality to it, making everything look unreal.  There
was a faint smell of disinfectant and a general hum of machines filled the air. 
Nothing was too loud or even very distinct, except the occasional beep.

“My head hurts.”

“Well it would now, that’s
quite a nasty crack you gave yourself, Sir Galahad.”

Sir Galahad? I thought about
it, or rather I tried to, but it didn’t feel right.

“I don’t think that’s my name.”
I said uncertainly.

She laughed softly.  “No, I
don’t suppose it is.”

She sounded preoccupied, as
though she was busy doing or checking something, but I couldn’t really focus on
her or on what it was that she was doing.  It all seemed such a long way off.

“I think you’ll live.” she
said.  “Try and get some sleep now, the doctor will be along shortly.”

It seemed the easiest thing in
the world to just do as I was told.

When I woke again, I was still
in that eternally green twilight place, but this time Grace was there, by my
side.  As I opened my eyes, she smiled.

“How are you feeling?” she
whispered, bending her face closer towards to me.

“Thirsty...” was as much as I
could croak.

“They said that if you could
sit up, I could give you a drink.”

Tempting though the idea was,
the effort to even try was too much and I must have drifted off again.

I don’t remember waking up
again, but I became aware that I was awake.  I seemed to be alone; just me and
the gentle background hum and I lay there for what felt like a long time, my
eyes closed, trying to get my brain to work.  It was so hard to think;
everything was jumbled and fragmented, nothing made much sense.  I felt so tired. 
Not sleepy, but exhausted.  Every part of me seemed to be lacking energy.  The
will to do anything except lay there was completely absent.

I heard a soft click, a swish
and then the sound of metal.  Chair legs, my befuddled mind told me.  Then
there was a male voice.

“Jack... are you awake? Can you
hear me?”

I opened my eyes, forcing them
to focus.

“Yes.” I said.

“Good.  How many fingers am I
holding up?”

It seemed quite a stupid
question to me; it wasn’t that dark in there.

“Three.” I replied.

“Good.”

“Where’s Grace?” I asked.

He smiled.  “She’ll be along
shortly no doubt, quite the bedside angel.  You are a lucky man Jack.”

I was confused.  Why did this
complete stranger make such a pronouncement about my life? What did he know
about me?

“Am I?”

He must have heard the sharp
tone in my voice.

“If you don’t want her to visit
we can ask her not to.”

“No,” I said, beginning to
panic.  “I wasn’t talking about Grace, I assumed you weren’t either.”

I tried to clarify things; I
didn’t want them to send her away.  They could do anything but that.

He gave a short laugh.  “No, I
wasn’t.  I was talking about your injuries.  But I think you’re over the worst,
so we’ll transfer you to another ward in the morning.  I’ll come and see you
once you are settled and we’ll talk more about them then.  But for now just
sleep, it’s the best thing you can do.”

With that he turned away and
began to speak to the nurse hovering in the background.  I hadn’t even been
aware of her.  They spoke very quietly and it was difficult to catch any of the
words.

I must have gone back to sleep,
because the next thing I remember was waking up and feeling the sensation of
movement.  When I opened my eyes I saw the ceiling above me.  I was being
pushed along a passageway and although the lights were on, it was clearly
daytime.  As we turned a corner, a voice from behind me must have realised I
was awake.

“Nearly there mate, another
corner and we’ll be in ward 5b.”

I remembered what I’d been
told, about being transferred and tried to work up some enthusiasm.

Daylight streamed through the
windows of ward 5b and there was plenty of activity going on.  As the porter
and a nurse lifted me into my bed, I could smell food and my stomach began to
noisily remind me of its existence.

“I’m so thirsty...” I croaked.

The nurse smiled.  “You can
have some tea, but you’ll have to sit up a bit first.  Let’s get you into a
better position.”

She helped me move and put a
pillow behind me.  The effort required for such a small change in position was extraordinary
and wasn’t helped by the strange frame encasing my left arm.  The tea though,
was worth waiting for.

I sat and watched the morning
routine unfold.  In the time I was to spend there, it was one I would become
very familiar with and it always interested me.  That first morning the hours
passed in a not unpleasant stupor; another cup of tea, later a bowl of soup.  There
was much
anxious waiting for me to vomit, followed by
genuine pleasure when I did not.  Then Grace arrived.  I saw her first.  My bed
gave
me a good view of the ward entrance and of course she didn’t know
where I was.

She was shy when she realised I
was awake, but I must have smiled.  I certainly felt like smiling when I saw
her.  Anyway, she smiled back and walked towards me with a little more
confidence.

“I didn’t know they were moving
you.  I didn’t bring anything.”

She spoke hurriedly, obviously
uncomfortable at being empty handed.  I looked around and saw that other
visitors were arriving with bags, or flowers.

“It doesn’t matter, I’m just
glad you came.” I told her.

And I was; she’d brought the
sun with her.

She looked behind her and saw
the chair, but seemed to be undecided about whether to sit on it or not.

“It’s funny, visiting a
complete stranger in hospital.” she said, a little breathlessly.  “One that
saved my life though, which I suppose makes it different.”

With that she sat down and we
looked at each other a little awkwardly for a while, until I broke the silence.

“Is that why I’m here, because
I saved your life?”

She smiled self-consciously
before answering.

“Yes, not much of a reward
really, is it?”

That made us both laugh and I
asked her to tell me what happened.

“You can’t remember?” she
asked, apparently stunned by this piece of information.

“No, not a thing apart from
you.” I said, realising for the first time that this was true.

“Well that’s the really odd
thing Jack.  You called my name.  You seemed to know me, but I don’t know you
and yet...”

She leaned forward and stared
at me intently, as though she was trying to recognise or remember something
about me.

“Maybe I’m just not that memorable?”
I suggested.

She laughed and looked
embarrassed for a moment, a slight flush colouring her tawny skin.

“You know my name is Jack.” I
said, with some feeling.

It felt comfortable and I was
prepared to believe that it was my mine.

“Well yes, but only because I
asked you while we were waiting for the ambulance.” she said.  “I also asked
you how old you were.  I was trying to keep you from passing out, but I
failed.” she finished miserably, looking away.

“You didn’t fail.  How old am
I?”

I asked because I was curious. 
At that moment, I felt ancient.

“You said twenty-seven.”

There was a distinct sound of
relief in my voice.  “Ah well, not so ancient then.”

“No, not at all.”

She was laughing again, but she
looked worried.

“Tell me what happened...”

I asked again because I really
wanted to know, but I also wanted to distract her from the thoughts that made
her lovely eyes look so sad.

I learnt that it was Wednesday
10
^th
May 2000.  She even had to tell me that.  The accident had been
on the previous Friday.  I’d lost almost five days of my life in that room with
the strange green lighting.

“Does that help you remember
anything?” she asked, her soft voice breaking into my thoughts.

“No, not really.” I replied.

“The waitress in the cafe
across the street said you’d been in there all afternoon, right up until you
ran out to save me.  Can you remember that?”

“No, but that does explain why
I’m so hungry, if my last meal was almost a week ago.”

“Don’t be silly Jack.  Think.” she
said, admonishing me sternly and I had to smile at her intensity.

To make her happy I applied
myself to the task she had given me.

“There’s you and the figure of
an old man in my mind.  I’m sorry, it’s all so vague.” I said, causing her to
look sad again.

“Maybe that’s it!” she suddenly
exclaimed.

I turned to look at her.

“I work in an old people’s
home.” she explained.

I said nothing; I wasn’t following
her train of thought.

“Don’t you see? If you have the
idea of an old man and me in your mind, perhaps we met when you came to visit a
relative, although I’m sure I would have remembered you.  Maybe it was only in
passing.”

I nodded, it seemed plausible.

We sat in companionable silence
for a few minutes.  Then she hit on another idea.

“Wait a minute, maybe you have
a driving licence or something in your wallet.  Have you checked?”