What a Boy Needs (16 page)

"
Jaden
.
Hi
.
How
are you?
"

"
I
'
m cool.
"
I cross my legs.
"
Just thought
,
you know
,
you might want me to check in or something. Thought maybe you
'
d wonder how far we got or want to make sure we
'
re all safe
.
We are
,
if you
'
re interested.
"
Heat simmers inside me. Why did I even call her? I should have known all it would do is make me mad.

When she speaks
,
she has the nerve to sound offended.
"
Of course I
'
m interested. You
'
re my son
,
.
"

But I
'
m not Mike
'
s
.

Why the hell do I even care? I mean
,
it
'
s not like I really do
,
but at least then I knew.
Now?
I don
'
t know anything.

"
We
'
re in Salt Lake.
"
I change the subject.

"
Good. That
'
s good
.
Have you talked to your uncle?
"
Her
voice is soft.

"
Yeah.
I
'
m supposed to call him when I figure out when I
'
m flying in. Depends on when we get to New York. He
'
ll pick me up at the airport and stuff.
"

Heat rolls
through my body
and I don’t want to tell her anything. Don’t
want her to know who
'
s picking me up or what I
'
m doing because in my head
,
she doesn
'
t deserve to know. Not after everything.

But then, hiding inside me, there’s a guy who somehow found a
damn flame-retardant suit that is soft and feels the need to tell her.

"
Good
...
That
'
s good. You
'
ll be happy there.
"

Will I? I don
'
t know. I could have been happy in New York. And maybe I can be happy in Texas. Or maybe I
'
m fooling myself into thinking I
'
ll be completely happy anywhere.

I shake my head. Jesus
,
I hate all these thoughts. I feel like such whiner.
"
Okay
.
I guess
,
I better go
.
"

"
Okay
.
Bye
. Thanks for calling
,"
Mom
'
s voice bounces back at me.

I open my mouth to say
,
bye
,
but instead something else comes out.
"
Are you
...
Are
you okay?
"
Not that she wouldn
'
t be.
Actually
,
things are probably better for her now. I
'
m sure all Mike ever wanted was me gone anyway.

Mom sounds perky when she says
,
"
Of course
,
I am. Why wouldn
'
t I be?
"

Exactly.
Why wouldn
'
t she be?

I hang up the phone and
,
my mind goes back to the stupid piece of paper in my pocket
,
wondering what the person who lives at the address is like.
Wondering
,
just maybe
,
if things were different
,
if they
'
d be the type who would call me.

We get up the next day and get ready for our rafting trip. I
'
m totally looking forward to it
,
and not
,
at the same time. It
'
s going to be fun
,
yeah
,
I know
,
but there
'
s another little
fact
that keeps jumping around in my head.

Priscilla in a bikini.

She wore one last summer and I about died. I
mean
,
sexy
,
right? I’m totally pumped to see one again
because
...
yeah
,
guys are visual creatures
,
remember? But this is
going to be hard on me
,
too
,
seeing what I can
'
t have. Hard isn
'
t even the right word.
Brutal.
Killer.
I
'
m totally going to want to touch. Which I can
'
t and it sucks
,
so yeah
,
mixed feeling on the whole raft trip.

We head up
to the raft rental building
. We
'
re going for one all of us can ride. The trip is only like an hour and a half. Bastian is bouncing around on his feet like he
'
s about to jump in the ring with Mike Tyson during his ear-biting era
,
and I can
'
t help but let it rub off on me. Adrenaline starts pumping through me as I think about being out there on the water.

"
Think you can handle it out there
,
Doc?
"
I give him a playful push.
"
I mean
,
it
'
s not like I can
'
t pick up the slack for you or anything
,
but
...
"

"
Please
,
dude. The day you have to pick up my slack is the day hell freezes over. Ninja
,
remember?
"

I laugh because he
'
s such an idiot with that ninja stuff. I open my mouth to say something
,
but Priscilla beats me to it
,
sneaking up behind him and sticking her foot out to hook in his. Bastian stumbles
,
as she says
,
"
Yeah
,
look at that stealth.
"

Now I
'
m laughing even harder.
"
Pris just went ninja on your ass
,"
I
say
as he tries to save face by pretending he did it on purpose.

"
Whatever. I knew she was there.
"

She surprises us both by sticking her foot out and doing it again.
"
Damn it!
"
he yells
,
half a smile on his face.

I almost fall
,
I
'
m laughing so hard. Aspen
,
too
,
but she
'
s actually trying to cover it up.

"
Aww
,
are you alright
,
big guy?
"
she teases
,
trying to wrap her arms around him.

He starts mumbling something about her kissing it and making it better and I don
'
t know where it comes from
,
but I hold up my hand for her to give me a high-five and say
,
"
That
'
s my girl.
"

Priscilla stumbles a little and I actually feel embarrassed. What the hell? I
'
ve hit on so many girls. Met so many girls at parties and thrown out so many lines
,
but
it
'
s
different saying things to
the
girl who means something to you. When it
'
s real
,
you
'
re out there
,
all vulnerable and shit wondering what she thinks about it or if you sounded like an idiot.

Priscilla doesn
'
t leave me hanging though. She lifts her hand and smacks mine the way Bastian and I would
,
but my heart is actually thumping
.
I can
'
t remember my heart ever thumping like that with a girl unless we were touching a whole lot more than this
,
and I
'
m sure it went wild then for a completely different reason.

Before it becomes obvious I
'
m pretty close to some kind of nervous breakdown or something
,
I grab her
,
putting my arm around her and pulling her close
,
like I would have done last year. No one needs to know I
'
m practically spouting poetry in my brain.
"
She
'
s the shit. I
'
m keeping her in my corner.
"
I play it off
,
but feel like I
'
m standing in front of a classroom naked or something because both Bastian and Aspen are looking at me with huge smiles on their faces.

I don
'
t even have to look to know Priscilla
'
s smiling too.

What is it they say?
If you can
'
t beat ‘
em
,
join ‘
em
.
I let myself crack one
,
too
,
as we go rent our raft.

***

At the risk of sounding like a Hallmark card
,
it
'
s really pretty out here. We
'
re halfway through our trip and even though Aspen is wearing a shirt over her bikini
,
Priscilla isn
'
t. I think she
'
s doing it to drive me crazy. I can
'
t stop looking at the curve of her hips
,
her legs
,
and all the smooth brown skin.

It
'
s
crazy how many places there are on a girl to explore. Does she know how incredible she looks?
All normal and happy
,
talking with Aspen or talking crap to me
and
Bastian.
It
'
s like she doesn
'
t realize how big a deal she is. What something as simple as licking her lips or hitting my leg can do to a
guy.
I wonder if girls know that
,
the kind of affect they can have. Or maybe it
'
s just
Pris
who has that much power. I don
'
t know.

Priscilla leans forward
,
the pink strands of her bikini top sliding down her back. I want to touch it.
To tickle her with it.
Do something to see if I can make her feel even a tenth of what I
'
m feeling right now.

Her
and Aspen start talking about something
,
as though we
'
re in
Normalville
and I
'
m not almost dying over here.