Authors: S Jackson Rivera
“Wouldn’t something—anything, be better than these scrubs?” His frustration showed in his tone. “You said you were tired of them. Why are you making this so much harder than it needs to be?”
Rhees’ shoulders sagged. “I can’t bring myself to pay so much money for something I don’t even like.”
“Would you forget about the money aspect? Please?” he begged. His anxiety level continued to rise.
“I can’t. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to just throw money away.”
“It’s not throwing it away if you’re buying something you can wear to get by for a while. You need clothes!”
Rhees shook her head, disheartened at his souring mood.
“This reminds me of our wedding ring and dress shopping fiasco,” he said under his breath.
“So you think I’m being uncooperative, on purpose?” She remembered his reaction that day. He’d said her contrariness turned him on. She’d feared he’d take her right there on the street that day.
Her heart skipped a few beats thinking about how worked up he seemed to be getting. She could use that if she had the courage. She thought of the secret weapons in her purse and took a deep breath, trying to ward off the light-headedness creeping over her.
“No.” He looked down at her out of the corner of his eye. “But I should have left you back at the room and just bought you some things myself.”
“Yeah. Maybe you should have.” She tried to sound snotty even though she didn’t really feel it.
“What about this one?” Paul said with a sigh, pointing to the store they stood in front of. She’d stopped paying attention, convinced they weren’t going to find the kind of stores she liked.
Rhees looked in the window and Paul waited for her to come up with some excuse as to why this store was a bad idea, just like all the others, but she didn’t. The store was cram-packed with inventory. Each rack had one big price tag on the top, indicating the bargains to be found.
“Now that looks like my kind of store.” She practically ran as if she couldn’t wait to get inside and begin rummaging through the racks.
“This is going to take a while, isn’t it?” It’d taken Paul a minute to realize what he was in for. He thought about why he’d liked the other stores. Fewer options meant less time making decisions. Rhees didn’t pay attention to him but started handing him clothes to hold so her hands could be free to scour the racks, one piece at a time.
“Do you like this one or this one?” She held up two pairs of shorts.
“If you like both—buy both.” He didn’t understand the dilemma.
“They’re the same length and almost the same color. It’d be a waste of money to buy two of the same thing. Which one is the cutest?”
“Rhees,” he sighed. “If we can afford to spend thirteen thousand dollars on a vacation we didn’t take, we can afford to spend—” He affectionately mocked her as he reached for the tag. He rolled his eyes and looked at her like she was crazy. “—Six dollars and ninety-nine cents on a pair of shorts—that
you like—
when you really need new shorts.”
He couldn’t help his grin. He didn’t remember for sure, but the dress he’d bought the night before at the hotel had to have cost at least a couple hundred dollars. Not a good time to tell her that, though, especially now that she might never be able to bring herself to wear it.
“I’ll try them both on. Maybe I can decide then,” she said, disregarding his sarcasm.
She continued to look at each and every item on the rack—every rack. Paul finally accepted that they weren’t going to be leaving the store anytime soon. He tried to ignore how much her shopping habits made him want to pull out his nose hair and reminded himself to think on the bright side. Concentrating this hard on choosing clothes and getting the most for her dollar meant her mind wasn’t dwelling on the unpleasant memories that’d had them both stuck in hell.
Chapter 14
“I
f you divorce me,” Rhees said out of the blue, “I’ll fight for custody of the shop.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Paul felt blindsided by her comment. “Why would you say that?”
She just shrugged.
“Rhees?” He tried not to get worked up—not an easy task considering the toll the last couple of weeks had taken on him. They’d argued far too much the last few days. He normally didn’t mind a little contention, but he hated the topic of their recent disagreements. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
“Nothing.” She looked to be concentrating on her shopping as though the topic was just normal chit-chat for a day out on the town. “We’re married—it’s half mine now.”
Paul looked away, not wanting her to see the guilt on his face. They weren’t in the States and women didn’t have the same rights. He didn’t feel the need to explain to her how different the laws were—he meant it—he wasn’t going anywhere. But the fact she’d brought it up agitated him.
“Are you drunk?”
“No.” Her head snapped up to look at him. “Maybe a little, are you?”
“No. Maybe a little,” he conceded. He forced a smile and watched her, taking her in, hoping he’d found the reason for her recent topic of conversation. “I’m thinking I’m a little less drunk than you.”
“I see a bar across the street. Why don’t you go catch up?”
“I’m good.” He’d never seen the look on her face before and didn’t understand the expression. She resumed her shopping, leaving him free to study her and try to understand what she could be thinking. Sometimes he thought he needed a freaking crystal ball.
“It would never get to that, would it—a divorce, I mean.” She finally spoke again as though the conversation never had the long silent pause. “You’re a lawyer, so you know how it works better than I do. The courts wouldn’t even recognize our marriage, would they? Isn’t annulment like saying the marriage never really even happened? You know . . . if
one
of us changed our minds and decided to just end it before we . . . you know?” She looked at all the clothes he held in his arms for her.
“I didn’t realize how many things I’ve pulled to try on. I’d better get started.” She grabbed for the clothes but he jerked them away so they’d be out of her reach.
“I’ll carry them,” he snapped. He didn’t mean to, but he found himself reeling from her comments. She headed to the back of the store, toward the dressing rooms, and he followed. “Why are you thinking about this, divorce and annulment? I said I’m not going anywhere.”
He watched her shrug her shoulders, and he sighed his frustration. He’d grab her, and try to shake some sense into her, if he wasn’t so loaded down—or kiss her silly—he’d really like to kiss her until she stopped coming up with such ridiculous thoughts.
The rooms were all empty and Paul handed the clothes off to her at the door of the room she’d chosen.
“Rhees? Are you?” He needed an explanation. She appeared a little off and he didn’t understand. “Do you have plans to—?”
“Just thinking out loud.” She shrugged again and closed the door, paying no attention to the fact that his face happened to be in the way, and he had to jump back to keep from being hit. He banged his fist against the door, venting his mounting anxiety, which as usual, looked more like anger.
Could she really consider calling it quits? Could she really
just end it
? He moved to the main entrance to the dressing rooms and leaned against the doorjamb. He needed to think. Rhees had half the store in the stall with her—he’d have plenty of time to do just that.
He wished he had a time machine. He was a man of action, and standing around, sitting around, lying around all this time, waiting for her to find her way back—
Yeah a time machine would come in handy about now—
right now when the storm brewing inside would help him do what he wished he could at the moment. He had an amazingly long list of people he’d eliminate before they ever set eyes on his baby—before they ever had a chance to have a single filthy thought about her. Too bad things couldn’t be so simple.
He needed Claire. He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone, but let out a string of choice words instead. His hand came out empty, and the images of the hijackers smashing all the phones came to mind. Phones—one more thing he still hadn’t taken care of, yet, because of the strain he and Rhees had been under. Next thing on his to-do list, as soon as Rhees found some clothes, they were going to buy new phones. After that, there was one more thing.
At the police station, while he’d waited his turn to be interrogated, he’d seen a phone and a phone book sitting on an empty desk. He’d made the call then. That was over two weeks ago. It would be ready by now. He nodded to himself with a hopeful smile.
That’s what she needs. That’ll get her mind off of divorce, and annulments, and what the—custody of the shop?
From where he stood, he could see the whole store. Another couple shopped together. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. The young woman who worked there rang up two girls at the counter in the front. They exchanged pleasantries and the girls walked out of the store with big smiles on their faces, pleased with their purchases. If only his life could be so simple.
“Paul?” Rhees called him, disrupting his thoughts.
“Yeah, Baby. I’m right here.”
Rhees stood in the open door of her dressing stall, wearing one of the new outfits for him to see. “Do you like this one?”
“It looks great.” She looked like heaven, actually.
“Are you okay?”
His dark thoughts had obviously taken a toll on his countenance. She always read him too well. He nodded, and after a moment of hesitation, she closed the door. About a minute later, she opened it again. “Do you like this one better?”
“Which one do
you
like?”
She shrugged. “I wouldn’t be asking if I could decide.”
“I liked the other one.” He dropped his head down to hide his grin. In spite of the conflict raging inside him, she was just so damned cute. He wondered if she’d ever be able to spend money without the anxiety, pennies that their bottom line would never notice—that is, if she didn’t decide to leave his sorry ass.
“Really? I think I like
this
one better.” She closed the door leaving him to shake his head.
I should’ve known she’d pick the one I didn’t.
He chuckled, quietly. She ran him through the same drill several times, choosing the opposite of what he said, every time, and he wondered why she bothered to ask. He wanted to be helpful, but he really couldn’t understand why she didn’t just buy everything she’d taken into the dressing room. She liked it enough to try it on. He smirked, wishing she
would
just buy everything. That many clothes would last a while and save him from another shopping trip with her.
The female half of the other couple walked past him and headed into one of the dressing stalls on the opposite end of the room where Rhees was. Not long after she closed the door, the man she’d been with walked past Paul too. Still leaning against the doorjamb, Paul looked over his shoulder to watch the man knock on the woman’s door, holding an article of skimpy clothing in his hands. His lady friend opened the door.
“You should try this on,” he said in a seductive voice. She giggled and quickly ushered him in.
Paul grinned, knowing what they were probably doing inside. The walls were more soundproof than he would’ve imagined.
oOo
Rhees leaned against the door in her stall, holding the second mini bottle of vodka in her hand. She’d downed the first one already and she had two more to go, but she was having second thoughts. She knew Paul was hanging by a thread, she’d done everything in her power to get him there. She started a prayer, she’d need help from a higher power, but she couldn’t finish it. It didn’t feel right to ask God to help her do something so wrong.
She stared at the bottles of vodka in her purse. She’d emptied one already, but after one swallow from the second, she flung her hand over her mouth to stifle a sob. She couldn’t—she needed to do this—every cell in her body screamed it had to be done, but she made a new decision right then.
If she was really going to go through with it, she’d have to do it with a clear mind, at least, as clear as it was at the moment. It was the only fair way to go. She wiped her eyes with another sniff and screwed the lid back on, setting it back in her purse with the others, one empty, one full. She popped a piece of gum into her mouth to disguise the fresh alcohol scent, and hoped Paul wouldn’t suspect she’d just tried to get plastered, but changed her mind.
She finished that prayer after all, and then stood up straighter. She looked at herself in the mirror but only saw the orange silky bra and panty set she wore. She’d grabbed several sets and quickly tucked them between the other clothes, acting embarrassed to be buying such things in front of Paul. Thankfully, he’d been a gentleman and pretended not to notice.
She took a deep breath, let it out, and opened the door.
Paul hadn’t moved from his position, resting against the doorway, holding the building up by keeping that one support beam firmly in place. He heard Rhees’ door open and he glanced up, anticipating another round of telling her which outfit she
shouldn’t
buy. His mouth gaped open.
“What about this one?”
At that moment, the man in the other stall opened the door, tucking his shirt back into his pants, before he stepped out. Paul felt his heart drop to his feet and he rushed to Rhees, pushing her inside. He slammed the door closed behind them.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He almost coughed from how high his voice had just registered. “What if someone had seen you?”
“I usually like the way I look in orange, but I’m worried this one makes me look fat,” she said, ignoring his outburst. “What do you think?”
His eyes slowly skimmed all the way down and back up again, drinking her in.
“Or do you like the black one better?” She held up the other bra and panty set, still on the hanger. His eyes darted from the lingerie she held in her hand to her scantily clad body. He cleared his throat but didn’t know what to say.
“Paul? You’re not helping. Which one do you like?”
“You’ll need more than one.” He reached out and touched the black one, feeling the soft, smooth fabric. He would have preferred to know what the orange fabric felt like, but he didn’t trust himself not to test the skin wearing it, as well. “Even Princess Penny-Pincher cannot convince me she can get by with only one set of these.” He met her eyes, on to her little sham, but she glanced down at herself and back up again with a quizzical expression, still keeping up the charade.
He looked again, too, following her example. It was a reflex—he couldn’t help it. His eyes caught at her breasts on the way back up her body. He tilted his head to the side, staring studiously at the dark circles showing through the sheer bra as though they were a problem that needed solving. His breath shuddered, but then he realized what he’d done and averted his eyes, snapping out of the stupor induced by the blood that had abandoned one head in favor of another.
“Not again. Baby,
please
. Not here—not now.” He knew the look in his eyes didn’t match his protest. He caught himself with his tongue practically hanging out. He licked his lips to try and make it look like he’d meant for it to be there. She looked sexy—so freaking sexy—standing there in nothing but a sheer bra and matching panties.
Oh, God. Help me.
“Well?” She looked up at him through her lashes, a hint of a mischievous smile on her lips.
“Well . . .” He looked her over again, down, then up. “Huh?”
“You didn’t answer.” She really did smile. “. . . About my outfits.”
“Mm!” He grunted his approval. “Buy them both. Buy every set in the store. Please.” He closed his eyes, smiling, but trying to rein in his thoughts.
“What’s the point?” Her anger came out of nowhere, or more likely from the restraint he kept insisting they maintain. He was really trying not to traumatize her, but she’d made it clear, a
gazillion times
, she believed he didn’t find her attractive. If he did, he’d want her enough to
get it over with
.
“Baby—”
“I’m nothing but a fragile weakling to you. You like taking care of me, your
baby
, but you’re never going to touch me because I
am
nothing but
a
baby
to you, so what’s the point of buying sexy undies.”
He frowned and glanced down. “First of all, the word undies isn’t very sexy . . . even though you look very
sexy
in
said undies.” He took another leisurely look but his serious facial expression didn’t change. “Second . . .” He was aware of his
growing
interest, but he didn’t dare let his smarter head feel anything but caution. “Buy them all, and we’ll try this again at the room.”
“But it’s not helping now,” she sneered. “What a surprise!”
“Yeah, it’s helping pretty darn good, but—”
“But what?”
“Let’s finish shopping. You need clothes.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to convince himself as much as her. He had another thought he hoped would save the moment and spare him another round of knockdown, drag out, arguing.
“We need condoms,” he spat out. “Ours are in our missing luggage, remember?”
“You’re just stalling.” She didn’t understand what he was trying to do for her.
“Nooo,” he said in a sing-song tone. “We’re in a dressing room.”
“That’s never stopped you before,” she said tersely.
He frowned again. That hurt.
“You’re not on the pill. I have no condoms on me. I stopped carrying them a long time ago, as a deterrent, as a reminder to keep my hands off you.” He pressed his lips tightly together, remembering some of his not-so-fine moments.
Before he met Rhees, during his kamikaze days, he hadn’t always been so diligent about wearing one.
“I don’t know why. You don’t seem to need any reminders, now.”
He took a cleansing breath, trying to keep his cool.
“You know that’s not true. It’s just, after Costa Rica—I have a feeling I could get you pregnant just looking at you.”
“I wasn’t pregnant. It was gastroenteritis, or giardia, or something. I was the only one who had a glass of water at dinner the night we got back. Everyone else at the table drank beer.”
He made another frustrated face at his thwarted attempts to prevent another fight. He gave it another try.
“When we get to the room, we’ll try again, okay?” he said with a forced calm. “You can model your new
undies
for me, there. We’ll take it real slow this time. If I jerk—” He caught himself. “It’s been a while. If I
take care
of a few things,
first
. . . it’ll help. It’ll buy more time that I can use to take care of you.” She seemed to be listening and he thought it was a good sign.