WestwardWindsV2Arebooks (12 page)

She whirled and entered the kitchen. Tessa marched to their bedroom and packed up her belongings in her suitcases. Dean watched silently as she finished.

“I’m not leaving the house. I’m moving back upstairs. I don’t want to leave the children and I’ll do my wifely duties, all but one,” Tessa said, giving him a meaningful look. “I can’t share a room with a man I don’t know.”

Dean began to get angry. “This is ridiculous. You’re blowing this way out of proportion.”

“Really? Am I?” Tessa’s eyes blazed with pain and anger. “I don’t think so. Now, if you’ll move out of the way, please.”

Dean could see by the stubborn set of her jaw and stiff posture that she wasn’t going to budge. “Fine. Have it your way,” he said and left the house.

Only when she was in her old room upstairs and had deposited her things on the floor did Tessa let the tears come. She shut and locked the door and lay down on her bed. She sobbed quietly into the pillows. Tessa was hurt because Dean had essentially lied to her and he couldn’t see it. He didn’t think it was a big deal, but to her it was. Had it not been for what was said in those letters, she would have never left home to come west. She would not be married to a man who had deceived her and thought she didn’t have a right to be hurt.

Suddenly, she wanted her mother just like she had when she was a little girl and had suffered some kind of hurt. She needed her mother’s strength and comfort, but could not have it. Tessa cried herself to sleep as she realized how alone she was and how foolish she had been to come to Montana all alone.

When Lydia and Charlie brought the kids back a few days later, Lydia could tell that something was going on with the newlyweds. She waited until after Sadie and Jack had a chance to visit with them before asking about it. Charlie had gone out to the barn with Dean and Sadie and Jack had gone upstairs so Lydia took the opportunity to bring it up.

“Is everything all right?” she asked Tessa.

Tessa smiled. “Of course. Things are fine.”

Lydia cocked her head. “I’m your friend, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then tell me what’s wrong,” Lydia said kindly.

Tessa bit her lip, undecided if she should talk to Lydia about it. It was true that they were friends, but she was family to Dean and Tessa wasn’t sure who Lydia would side with.

Lydia wasn’t going to let it go. “Tessa, I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”

As Tessa down at the table, her shoulders slumped in dejection. “He lied to me, Lydia. Dean lied to me.”

Lydia’s brows drew together and her brown eyes held puzzlement. “About what?” Dean was one of the most honest people she knew and it was hard to believe that he’d been dishonest with Tessa. However, she also knew that Tessa didn’t lie, so she was ready to hear her out.

“You know that we exchanged quite a few letters,” Tessa began.

“Yes.”

“His letters were wonderful. He told me about Montana and your lives here in great detail and it was splendid. We discussed so many things and I first began having feelings for him based on those letters or I would have never come here,” Tessa said.

Lydia smiled. “I can understand that.”

Tessa sent her a sad smile. “I came to find out a few days ago that he didn’t write them. Marcus did.”

Lydia’s smile faded as Tessa’s words sank in. “He didn’t write them? Marcus wrote them? Why?”

“He says that Marcus writes and speaks much better about things, that he doesn’t describe things the way Marcus does. So he read my letters, told Marcus a basic way how to answer them, and then just left the rest up to Marcus. Marcus read my letters, Lydia. My privacy was invaded. I said things in those letters that were meant for Dean alone. He never even looked at the letters Marcus wrote back to me.

“That’s how I found out that he didn’t write them. I was asking him questions about what he’d written and his answers didn’t add up. I confess that I tricked him a little. I’m not proud of it, but I had to know the truth,” Tessa finished and took a steadying breath. She didn’t want to have the children come into the kitchen to find her crying.

Lydia was stunned. It was something she never would have expected of Dean. She saw both sides of the issue. She knew Dean had trouble talking about his feelings and that neither he nor Seth had Marcus’ head for reading and writing. Lydia could understand why Dean would get Marcus to write the letters, but he could have handled things differently.

“You think I’m being silly, don’t you?” Tessa asked anxiously. Lydia’s opinion mattered greatly to her.

Lydia laughed. “No, I don’t. It’s understandable why you’re hurt. He should have asked your permission to have Marcus help him. Dean should have explained the situation, but that’s male pride for you, Tessa. I’m sure you’re used to dealing with men who have a lot of education, but out here it’s different. As you know, we don’t have a school near here, so it was a good thing the boys’ father was fairly well educated. My mother was a teacher, so I was lucky, too. Marcus was a natural born student, much the same as Sadie, but Seth and Dean were not and had to work at it.”

“I see,” Tessa said. “I sometimes forget that it’s not as settled here and that schooling is scarce. I can understand, but it’s the principle behind it. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset about it. I feel as if I was brought here under false pretenses. I wanted to connect with
Dean
and no one else and I feel as if that didn’t happen. I moved back upstairs. I can’t sleep in the same room with him.”

Lydia put a hand over her mouth. “Oh, my. I would ask that you don’t do anything rash, Tessa. It might take some time, but do you think that there’s a chance of forgiveness?”

“I don’t know. That might be up to him, Lydia. I’m just so hurt right now,” Tessa said.

Sadie came into the room then and the subject was dropped.

Evening had come and Dean sat on the small porch of Seth’s bunkhouse explaining the situation with Tessa to his brother. He valued Seth’s opinion and needed a sounding board.

Seth let out a low whistle. “Boy, you really stepped in it, Dean.”

Dean’s face took on a stubborn scowl. “I told her why I did it and it didn’t seem to matter to her. I wasn’t trying to lie. I just didn’t want her to think I was stupid.”

“Hmm. Seems like that’s what happened anyway,” Seth said with a smile.

“This isn’t funny, Seth. She moved back upstairs.”

Seth said, “Well, I can’t blame her in a way.”

“Why?”

Seth shifted in the rocking chair on the small porch of his bunkhouse to look at his brother. “Dean, the only woman you’ve ever been romantically involved with before was Sarah. You two knew each other as youngsters and fell in love early. She was a sweet woman and I loved her very much,” he said. “But take it from someone who’s been … uh… involved with a lot more women. There are things that matter most to women and honesty is number one. Even if they don’t like what you’re saying, if you’re honest, they respect you. You weren’t completely honest with her and she thinks that everything was a lie. She’s not going to want to share a bed with someone she thinks she doesn’t know.”

Dean sighed. “There were no lies in those letters. Everything Marcus put in those letters was what I told him to write. He just says it better, that’s all. I didn’t know this was going to be such a big deal.”

“Yeah, you’re right about Marcus being smart like that. He’s like Pa. Ma was a smart woman, too, don’t forget. Just in a different way,” Seth said. “As far as lying goes, I’m not
sayin’ you meant to trick her or anything, but you should have let her know that someone was helpin’ you. I didn’t know Marcus was or I would have mentioned that part to you.”

“I know. Tessa comes from a whole other world, Seth. She’s got an education and I figured that she wouldn’t keep writing to someone who sounded like I would have. How was I
gonna compete with those letters?” Dean said.

“Yep, I get that, too.”

Dean shot Seth an exasperated look. “You get it, but I’m still wrong somehow. That’s what you’re
sayin’. She wouldn’t even listen to me or try to understand.”

Seth chuckled. “Well, that’s typical. When anyone’s feelings get hurt, it’s hard to listen to reason. You know what that’s like. Maybe just give her some time and let her temper cool.”

Dean said nothing more. He may not be a man of many words, but he was a man of action. He was danged if he was going to let this go on. Dean wasn’t going to let the woman go on thinking the worst of him.

Marcus sat out on his porch that same evening, whittling like usual. Roscoe sat beside him. The dog’s ears perked up and he barked. Marcus looked up and was surprised to see Tessa riding Zip up to his porch.

“Hey, there, Tessa. Did you come for your whittling lesson?” he asked with a smile.

As Tessa came up on the porch and sat in one of the chairs close to him, Marcus could see that something was troubling his sister-in-law.

She looked him in the eyes and said, “Marcus, it has come to my understanding that you were the one who wrote back and forth with me.”

“Yeah. Well, sort of. Dean responded to what you wrote, but I just made it a little more polished,” Marcus said.

Tessa’s eyes became stormy with anger. “You had no right to read the things I wrote. They were meant for Dean and no one else, Marcus. You invaded my privacy and now I feel as if I do not really know my husband. Do you understand that?”

Marcus put down his whittling and faced her. “I’m sorry, Tessa. I didn’t think of it like that. I was just trying to help him out, that’s all. He’s pretty reticent about his feelings, especially after Sarah and the baby.”

“I would have appreciated knowing that he had help with writing them, but I will be honest with you. If I had known that someone else was reading my letters, the correspondence would have stopped and I would not be here,” she said.

Marcus’ eyebrows rose. “Really? You feel that strongly about it?”

“Yes! Imagine if you were writing to someone, telling them very personal things only to find out that they were reading them to other people,” Tessa said.

“Tessa, no one ever saw those letters but Dean and me,” Marcus said. “I promise you that. Is that what you and Dean are fighting about?”

It surprised Tessa that Marcus was aware of the strife between her and Dean. “You know? Did Lydia tell you?”

“No. It’s your body language when you’re together. I’m good at reading it. I could tell that something was amiss just by the way you acted around each other,” Marcus said.

“You are obviously very observant,” Tessa said. “Yes. This is what is wrong between us. I feel as if I do not know him. He didn’t even take the time to read what you wrote in response to my letters.”

Marcus smiled a little. “That’s because Dean trusts me so much. I should have made him proofread them. This whole thing is partly my fault. I got caught up in playing matchmaker and I didn’t stop to consider your feelings about someone besides Dean reading your letters. I should have written to explain to you why Dean wanted help. But in a way, I’m glad I didn’t because you’re here now.”

Tessa said, “So you feel the deception was worth it?”

“Yeah. Dean has been miserable, Tessa, as you know. Since you came here, he started coming alive again, and seeing him happy again, well, I can’t really tell you how much it means to me and Seth to see him like that. And can you honestly say that in your heart that you aren’t glad in a way that you didn’t know? You just said that you wouldn’t have come if you’d known about my involvement. You would have missed out on a good man and gaining a good family.”

Tessa looked at Marcus with narrowed eyes. “You are very smart and very tricky. I am still very upset about this, but you are right. I am glad that I didn’t miss out on Dean. Please do not ever divulge what those letters contained.”

“You mean
contain
. He kept every one of them, Tessa,” Marcus said.

“Really?”

“Yep. I will never tell anyone what’s in them. My lips are sealed,” Marcus said with a smile.

Tessa smiled back and found that her anger with Marcus was cooling. “You really are hard to stay angry with.”

Marcus grinned. “It’s just part of my natural charm,” he said and patted her shoulder.

Tessa had learned early on that Marcus was a hands on type of person and that no offense was to be taken from it. She laughed and said, “Now, about that whittling lesson.”

Tessa walked along the road that ran adjacent to their property picking some raspberries that had just ripened. Sadie worked along the other side. If they were able to pick enough, Tessa wanted to make a couple of pies. She heard Sadie singing and smiled. Sadie had a sweet voice and Seth especially was always getting her to sing.

The sound of carriage wheels came to Tessa’s ears. She looked up to see one in the distance. They didn’t get a whole lot of traffic on the road so she was curious about who might be approaching. It was a large carriage pulled by two horses. Sadie stopped picking berries and came to stand with Tessa as it drew closer.

The driver pulled the reins and the carriage came to a halt at the entrance of their ranch.

“Hello, miss. Do you live here? Is this the Samuels place?” he asked.

“Yes, it is,” Tessa said.

One of the carriage doors opened and a man alighted. Tessa’s face paled and she gasped as she recognized him.

Sadie looked from Tessa to the man and asked, “Tessa, who is he?”

“My father.”

Geoff stood on the dirt road in his fine clothes and looked at his daughter. He knew it was her, but she was dressed as he’d never seen her. Tessa’s emerald dress was pretty enough, but there were far less petticoats underneath. Her hair was done in a long braid that reached almost to her waist. Normally Tessa wore her hair in a stylish coiffure.