Western Ties: Compass Brothers, Book 4 (9 page)

Leah squealed as a cold wave crashed around her bare feet. The sea breeze lifted her auburn hair, blowing it around her porcelain face. He used to stare at her in gym class, wondering why all the other guys seemed oblivious to the hottest girl in school.

It was a gorgeous day. The sun was shining brightly with enough wind to keep them from getting too hot. Sawyer yanked his T-shirt over his head, dropping it in the sand behind them where they’d left their shoes.
 

Leah’s gasp had him spinning toward her.
 

“Leah?”

“Your tattoo. Turn around.”

She hadn’t seen it yet. He’d risen before her this morning, throwing on his clothes and venturing downstairs to find them coffee and breakfast. After that, they’d made out like teenagers for nearly an hour before he told her to get dressed for their outing. He hadn’t pressed for more sex, afraid she might be too sore from the previous night.
 

He angled his back toward her, curious about her response.

“Wow. That’s incredible. Who did it?”

“Snake.”

Her fingers traced the ink on his skin. “I figured it had to be someone from home. It’s so realistic.”

“My brothers have the same one.”

“All of them?”

He nodded. “Each of us has small variations. On mine, the W is larger than the other compass points. The Pacific Ocean has been calling me since I was a kid. Seth opted for a bigger S, Sam has a fancy E and Silas started it all with a big honking N on his back.”

She continued caressing his back. “The tattoo as a whole is impressive, but it’s the details that are really amazing. Is there significance to all of it?”

“Yeah. Most of it is there for a reason. The ranch and brand obviously represent home, the smaller compass points are there for my brothers. I had Snake ink in a JD and a V for my parents. They’re intertwined there in the center of the compass. See them?”

She touched the spot, her voice sounding a bit choked up. “That’s so sweet.”

He chuckled. “Christ, rose. Don’t say that too loud. I got the tattoo to look tough.”

She placed a soft kiss on his tattoo and he closed his eyes, wondering how such a simple gesture could pierce his heart like an arrow. “You know what I mean.”

He was confused by the comment and the sudden sadness in her tone, but he dismissed it when her fingers began tracing the pattern again. “I like this the best.”

“Which part?”

Her finger drew a W on his back. He understood what had caught her interest. “The way Snake designed the W. Is it made up of dandelions?”

He swallowed heavily. “Yeah.”

He shifted before she could look too closely at the rest of the tattoo. He wasn’t ready for her to study all the details. If so, she’d realize there was a rose growing out of the ranch brand. That part of the tattoo had been added at the last minute—a silly whim he thought he’d regret later. As the years passed, the rose continued to be his favorite part of the whole tat.
 

He kissed her, cutting off any more conversation about his tattoo. She welcomed his embrace, wrapping her hands around his waist.

He pulled away. “I’m glad you like it. It’s pretty big. More than a few women turn their nose up at it.”

“I think it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

He grinned and kissed her again, a short, hard press of his lips against hers. Then he twisted her until they faced the ocean together, enveloping her in his arms.

They were silent for several minutes as they studied the white caps and listened to the mighty roar of the sea.

“I can see why you’ve chosen this life, Sawyer. There’s something very hypnotic about it all, isn’t there? The constant, soothing rhythm of the waves, the endless horizon, the gentle way the water and sand work together to massage your feet. It’s incredible.”

He nodded. It was, but it wasn’t enough.
 

“I’m leaving the Coast Guard.” He wasn’t sure why he’d blurted it out like that. Though his decision had been ninety-five percent made, he hadn’t taken that final leap to say aloud,
I’m going home
, to anyone.

Leah took his hand in hers, giving him a sad smile. “I’m not surprised. I mean all your other brothers have done the same. I’m really sorry about your dad, Sawyer.”

Her comment caught him off-guard. “JD?”

Leah tilted her head, confused. “About his cancer. I can’t imagine Compton Pass without him.”

Sawyer stared at her, trying to process what she was saying.
Cancer? JD?
“What the fuck are you talking about?”

He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh, so angry, but pieces fell together, adding up to something he simply couldn’t—wouldn’t—believe.
 

Leah paled, dropping his hand. “Oh God. I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?”

She bit her lip, shaking her head slightly. “I shouldn’t be the one to say—”

“God dammit, Leah. Tell me.”

Tears formed in her eyes, and he briefly wondered if he’d frightened her. When she spoke again, he understood what was driving the tears. “JD has pancreatic cancer. He’s dying.”

“No.” He shook his head. “That’s not possible. There’s no way Sam would have kept that from me. You must’ve heard wrong.”

Leah didn’t respond. Clearly she wouldn’t criticize his brother for doing exactly that. Sawyer recalled Sam’s phone call last night. There’d been something in his voice. He’d thought there was a complication with Silas. Now…

“How long have you known?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe a month. Or actually, more than that.”

Sawyer’s head exploded. “Are you kidding me?” He ran his hand through his hair, trying to understand. He pulled his cell out of his pocket. “I need to call Sam.”

Leah nodded, but didn’t say more.
 

Sawyer clenched his fist when he heard his brother’s casual answer. “Hey bro.”

“Sam.” He didn’t bother to hide the coldness in his tone. If Leah were telling the truth…

“What’s up, man? Didn’t expect to hear from you this early. Not since you were so busy.”

“Yeah, that’s me. The brother too fucking busy to come back to Wyoming.”

There was a brief moment of silence on the other end before Sam tried to take cover from the torpedo about to blow his ass out of the water. “Sawyer, I can explain—”

“Tell you what,” Sawyer interrupted. “Why don’t you start with the part where you tell me what the fuck is going on with JD?”

Sam sucked in a deep breath for what was coming next. “Sounds like you already know.”

“I want to hear it from you. The person who should’ve told me to begin with.”

“JD forbade us to say anything to you.”

The overpowering need to hit something churned in his gut. Where was a sturdy oak when you needed one? He bet he could break every bone in his hand and still not feel the pain over the one growing in his chest.

“And being the good little son, you did exactly what your daddy told you to do. Say the fucking words, Sam.”

“It’s cancer. JD’s dying.”
 

Sawyer doubled over. He put his hand on his knee as he fought a wave of nausea.
 

“I’m sorry, Sawyer.”

Sawyer’s vision went red. He didn’t need his brother’s fucking pity. He’d needed the truth. He forced himself to stand upright, took a deep breath and struggled to hang on. He could do this. “I’m coming home. Tonight if I can swing it. If not, on the first available flight.”

“I’ll pick you up at the airport,” Sam offered.

Sawyer glanced at Leah—her face rife with anguish. “No. I have a ride. I don’t need any favors from you.”

“God dammit, Sawyer, you’ve got to let me explain—”

Sawyer exploded. The time for discussion had long since passed. “When I get there, I’m kicking your ass. Explain it to my knuckles. Might take a piece out of Silas’s and Seth’s hides for good measure. Share that message with them, will you?”

He clicked the phone off before Sam could reply. He’d heard all he could stand from his twin, uncertain which hurt worse—his father’s cancer or his brother’s betrayal.

He stared at the waves and dragged air into his lungs. The ocean, which had sounded so loud earlier, was nothing but a quiet din in the distance compared to the sound of his heart pounding mercilessly loud and fast. He wasn’t sure he’d ever experienced true terror until this moment.

Leah gently touched his arm. “Sawyer?”

He cleared his throat, unable to face her. Part of him yearned to fall into her arms and cry like a fucking baby. He wouldn’t do that. He sucked in another deep breath. Fought for control.
 

“I need to go home.”

“I know.”

When his raging emotions were locked away once more, he looked at her. “JD’s dying. They didn’t tell me.”

“Did Sam give you a reason?”

He shook his head. “Not a good one. All my brothers are home?”

She nodded. “Sam came home a couple months ago. Right after Seth moved back. You didn’t know that? When’s the last time you spoke to your family?”

He considered the question, trying to remember. “I’ve been at sea for the past eight weeks. I was out of contact a lot and then I dropped my last damn cell phone overboard.” It didn’t matter. None of that was relevant. His brothers had had plenty of opportunities and ways to reach him. They simply hadn’t.

The shock and pain at JD’s diagnosis gave way to rage so bone-deep it almost shattered him. Sawyer welcomed it. Anger he could channel, use to his benefit. He might be helpless in the face of his father’s illness, but by God, he wasn’t some weak-minded boy. His brothers had always considered him the baby of the family. They were about to get a rude awakening to exactly how much of a man he’d grown up to be.

His fists clenched as he plotted retribution. He was going to kick every single one of their asses from Wyoming to Kansas.

Leah wrapped her hands around one of his, trying to loosen the tight grip. “Give them a chance to explain, Saw. You’re angry and hurt, but violence isn’t going to change what’s happened.”

She was wrong. Violence was exactly what he needed.

Chapter Five

They reentered the bedroom they’d left only a few hours earlier. Dead silence. Sawyer closed the door,
snicking
the lock into place. Pain was etched in every line on his face and Leah ached to take some of it away. He’d managed to snag the last seat on the same flight home as her, but it wouldn’t leave until morning. Waiting one more night was going to be hard for him.

“Sawyer—”

He raised his hand, halting her attempt to talk. “I need—” He was breathing rapidly, his eyes dark with anguish. He paused as if fighting with himself.

He didn’t say more. He didn’t have to.

She knelt slowly before him, the action visibly jarring him. Her gaze never left his face as she assumed the submissive pose. “I know what you need.”

He reared away, pressing his shoulders against the door. For a moment, she thought he might unlock it and run.
 

“I can’t be gentle.” His warning confirmed her suspicions. He’d held back. He hadn’t been honest about his own desires.

That thought touched and infuriated her simultaneously. It was so typically Sawyer to try to shelter her. Even when she didn’t need his protection.

“Last night, you said the only thing that would anger you was if I hid my feelings.”

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Did you?”

“No. You did, though.”

He started to deny her assertion, but she cut him off.

“You wanted more from me, Sawyer, but you didn’t take it. You acted like last night was enough.”

“It was.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”

His chest rose and fell rapidly. She wondered if she was wrong to taunt him, then she decided he might welcome a distraction, something to take his mind off the tragedy awaiting him at home. It was clear he’d been devastated by what he viewed as his brothers’ betrayal. Her Sawyer was a man who prided himself on being strong, in command of his own destiny. His brothers had taken that power away, stripped away his right to decide what was best for him.

“I don’t regret a single minute of last night, Leah. You’re new to this lifestyle. I had to take it slow.”

She flung her hair over her shoulder. “Stop treating me like some weak little girl who can’t take care of herself. If you don’t think I can be what you need, maybe I should find someone else.”

She started to rise, but he halted her, his strong hands pressing on her shoulders. “Don’t test me on this, Leah. Now isn’t the time—”

“Give me the white wristband back. I want the chance to find a Dom who isn’t afraid to take off the kid gloves. I told you last night, Sawyer. We have too much history. This just proves my point.”

Sawyer gripped her hair tightly in his fists. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

“I’m not staying.” She was trying to provoke him, but her threats were working some sort of magic on her as well. Last night, they’d only scratched the surface of her desire for pain and dominance.