Western Pleasure (The Texas Two-Step Series, a Novella) (6 page)

Well, she could say that, but it seemed a little too free and easy to her, but then Jim continued, "
Then look elsewhere. Only serious-minded men need apply.
"

"Oh, I think that's a little too severe, don't you?"

"It depends," he said. "What kind of man are you looking for here? A guy who's hunting for a one-night stand or one who'll stick by your side through thick or thin?"

"I want a
nice
guy with a sense of adventure, not a stick in the mud."

"You definitely want to get marriage-minded in there somehow."

Ellen pushed back from the laptop and turned to look directly at Jim. "Sweetie, while I probably want marriage again someday, the time isn't now. I can't look for someone who's ready, when I'm not."

"You're saying you're ready to get back out there on the dating scene, but you're not ready to settle down?"

"I think I should get out there and have a little fun first, don't you?"

She reached out to lay her hand on his, but at the briefest touch, she leapt from her chair.

Chapter 7

Dread hammered at Jim's solar plexus. Did Ellen so dislike him she couldn't bear to touch him?

What else could he think with the way she yanked back from him after scarcely brushing his hand?

Judging by the way she practically catapulted from her chair and darted to the kitchen, she felt the same sort of dread or embarrassment. He silently watched her move about the kitchen, grabbing a sponge, and then applying it to the center island that she'd already cleaned. Twice.

She looked particularly nice tonight. In fact she had every single time he'd seen her lately. She always looked good to him, but lately she'd been wearing more form-fitting attire and showing a little more skin than he'd been used to seeing. Not that he minded. Not in the least.

He narrowed his eyes.

Was there a chance she'd been dressing up for him?

She'd mentioned being proud of her shapely legs, and there she was, wearing a skirt that did an excellent job of highlighting these assets. Earlier he'd noted she wore more makeup than he usually saw her in, and her hair had been carefully arranged.

But had she been
wanting
him to notice?

Maybe.

Then why was she so all fired up about online dating? All she had to do was give him the nod. Surely she knew he'd come running.

Oh, he'd come running all right.

But then, he'd never made it clear to her that he was interested. Early on, doing so hadn't been morally right. More recently, it hadn't been fair for him to rush her before she was ready. She'd said so herself. She wasn't ready for anything as serious as marriage. And most recently, he'd completely and entirely chickened out when given the chance to completely open up to her.

If he let her know he was interested, and she wasn't, what would it do their friendship? He already knew the answer. Had asked himself the same question again and again over the past few days, and always came up with the same answer.

Ellen called from the kitchen, "Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"I've got an early flight in the morning, so I should pass."

"Okay. Where are you going?" She did one of those little hair flips.

Again his eyes narrowed.

He'd never known a woman to flip her hair like that if she weren't interested in the flippee. Was it possible she was romantically interested in him? Was it possible he'd missed her subtle cues?

"I'm heading to Germany for a few days, but I'll be back by Thursday."

"The way you travel sounds very exciting."

"Not nearly as exciting as devouring one of your home-cooked meals."

Another hair flip. Followed by a girlish giggle.

Wait a minute. The home-cooked meals. The hair flips. And now a giggle? Maybe Ellen really was interested in him. Or was he reading into her actions because of his desire for her?

Too bad he had to head out of town just when developments between them promised to be interesting.

He could ask her out, but she said she wanted a
little fun
.

She'd been through so many tough times, she deserved her share.

A
fun little
plan came to mind. But he'd have to wait until he got home that night to put it in action. He had to hope the timing was finally right and his plan would work. He only had to accomplish one tiny task. To get Ellen to open her heart to him.

Chapter 8

When Lily asked Ellen to come to with her to the Fort Worth Stockyards on the following Friday, she jumped at the offer. They arranged to meet in Grapevine at the vintage railroad and take it into the Stockyards. Once they arrived at the Stockyards, Lily wanted to visit Luskey's so she could purchase boots and a pink cowboy hat for her young niece's upcoming birthday.

The small adventure would be a welcome break from Ellen's normal routine, and she really wanted a chance to talk over events of the past week with her closest friend.

Friday morning dawned clear and cloudless, with the promise of some Texas-sized heat to come. The train was scheduled to depart just after lunch hour and they'd purchased first class seating. The air conditioning in first class would be a must.

As soon as Ellen arrived, she found Lily in the parking lot waving their tickets.

"How are you this morning?" Ellen asked. They'd arrived so early the parking lot wasn't yet filled to overflowing. A couple of families with children were already in the process of boarding.

"I'm rarin' to go. How about you?" asked Lily.

"This was such a good idea. I feel like a kid with a new toy." They entered the train and headed to their assigned seats.

The coach was furnished in Victorian-style, giving passengers a true feel for what railway travel was like in bygone days. Ellen grinned when she read the brochure Lily gave her and learned the twenty-one mile trip would take well over an hour.

The first-class car was only half-full when "Puffy" the steam engine fired up. Although it was far from quiet, the noise and vibration wasn't uncomfortable.

As soon as the train got underway, Lily blurted, "So, I've been dying to ask, how's the online date thing going?"

Just like her friend to get right to the point. "At first I found it to be a little awkward meeting men online. And although I've had lots of winks, it seems a little impersonal. How do I know these men are who they present themselves as?"

"I've heard some stories about bad dates and misleading photos, but the site you joined is supposed to be one of the best."

"It certainly is busy. I almost felt like I was back in junior high with all of those winks and hellos."

On one hand, she'd accomplished what she'd set out to do: find eligible men, assuming they truly were eligible. And it was thrilling and a boost to the ego when they appeared to be genuinely attracted to her.

On the other hand, she had no level of trust in what she read about the men. "Several men have messaged me and I've chatted with them. Two have even asked me if I'd like to meet."

"That's fabulous," said Lily, fidgeting in her seat. "Have you agreed to meet either of them?"

Ellen fanned herself. The coach was steamy despite the air conditioning. "I told one I'd have coffee with him, but I'm thinking about bowing out. His nickname is Lonely-Texan and he sounds like a wonderful guy. His emails made me laugh so hard I was almost to tears. But—"

"Don't you want to meet him?" asked Lily while she began rooting around in her handbag.

"I'm not sure."

"Wasn't that the point of signing up? To
meet
men?"

"I don't know anymore, Lily. I feel like a complete mess." The more she chatted with the men, the less she wanted to do it. "With each man I see online, I can't help but compare him to Jim. None measure up. I'm probably not giving them a chance, but I've spent a lot of time with Jim. I know this sounds kind of silly, but I feel as though I'm two-timing him."

Lily looked up from digging in her purse and gawked at Ellen. "You're kidding me."

"I expected to feel like I was cheating on Ben, but I don't, which shocks me, given the lifetime we shared together. The thing is—the problem is—it's Jim." Ellen shook her head. "When he came over last weekend, I brushed his hand. Stars. Comets. Fireworks exploded."

"What did he do?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened. I'm afraid he'll always see me as Ben's widow and therefore hands off. But I can't get him or those darn fireworks out of my head."

"Oh, hon, it sounds like you've got it bad." Lily grinned in success as she pulled a packet of tissues from her handbag, then put her bag on the seat beside her.

Ellen sighed. "Apparently I do have it bad. I'm supposed to get out there, remember? So what's the remedy?"

"Baby steps. Take one of those men up on their request to meet."

"You may be right, which is why I haven't backed out of going for coffee yet—or closed my online account." Would it be fair to the other men if her heart wasn't in it?

"The other alternative is to tell Jim how you feel about him. I think you should." Lily dabbed her forehead with a tissue as if she had said it all.

Perhaps she had. The very idea of telling Jim made her insides quake. And it wasn't because she was afraid to reveal her feelings to Jim. His possible reaction set her heart on edge. "It could screw up everything. He's been a pillar of strength for me since Ben's passing. My life would suffer without having Jim in it. I would suffer."

"You know I'm a firm believer in truth being the best policy."

"I am, too." Ellen lowered her head, shame washing through her. Lily was right. Even if it screwed up everything, her whole life, she had to tell Jim that she only wanted to see him—no other man would do. "You're right. What should I do?"

"Meet Lonely-Texan for coffee—"

Ellen opened her mouth to object, but Lily waved her off.

"Just to be sure you don't experience any fireworks with him, too."

"But wouldn't that be leading him on?"

"No. He's there for the same reason, to see if there is any connection, any chemistry. If not, talk to Jim and tell him how you feel. It's my belief that if you have such strong feelings toward him, he already knows. And there's a good chance he feels the same way about you or he wouldn't be coming around so much."

Ellen's mouth snapped shut. She hadn't considered whether Jim already had an idea about her attraction to him. He was a confirmed bachelor who'd had his choice of a myriad of women for decades, but he'd never settled down. Which might be why he hadn't said anything. As she'd filled out the dating site questionnaire, he had kept bringing up the subject of marriage. He'd pointed out over and over that she was the marrying sort.

Well, truth was, although she was vastly attracted to Jim, she wasn't ready to settle down herself. She was just getting used to the idea of being with a man other than her late husband. And although she'd told Jim that, he hadn't appeared to believe her.

Although everyone always told her she wore her heart on her sleeve, she'd done her best to cover up her feelings for Jim. She thought she'd done a very effective job of it, so likely Lily was wrong on that point.