Western Kisses – Old West Christmas Romances (Boxed Set) (37 page)

The answer was plain on his face and Rosalie gasped in pain. “Winslow? Winslow, do you love me?” He’d never said it straight out, but Rosalie had always attributed that to his natural reticence. She assumed when he proposed marriage that he loved her as she loved him. Now she wondered if he cared at all.

“I am very fond of you. Surely, you know that. Our match is a good one. We will have a good marriage.”

“Winslow, that is not what I asked you.” Rosalie searched her mind for a way to make Winslow understand her feelings. It wasn’t the humiliation, though that was acute. It was the deception—and his plan to continue it.

“Don’t be a goose. Marriages are about financial considerations and social position. That is the way of things.”

Rosalie’s body began to shake and tears welled in her eyes. She blinked them back as she faced her fiancé. “I’m going to leave right now, Winslow, before I say something I might sincerely regret. I need time to think.”

“There isn’t anything to think about. The wedding plans are in place. Nothing has changed.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Everything has changed.” Rosalie turned and walked away, keeping her spine stiff. She didn’t look back.

When the maid brought tea and toast in the morning, Rosalie still felt wretched. She’d cried herself to sleep and her eyes were scratchy and swollen.

“Miss, are you feeling poorly?” the maid asked with concern.

“I suppose I am,” Rosalie responded dully. At this moment, leaving her bed was more than she could entertain.

The maid pushed back the curtains, letting in the morning sun. “Shall I send someone for the doctor?”

Rosalie pushed herself to a sitting position. “No. That won’t be necessary. Please let my mother know I need to speak with her.”

“Of course, miss.” The maid bobbed and left.

Rosalie sipped the tea and her stomach cramped painfully. She placed the cup and saucer on her bedside table.

Mrs. Weld burst through the door. “Rosalie, the maid says you’re ill.”

“No, I’m not ill but I have something important to tell you.” Her parents would be so disappointed. They’d heartily approved of her match with Winslow, but surely they hadn’t known about his moral failings.

“Whatever is the matter?” Mrs. Weld flattened her hand on her chest.

Rosalie braced herself. “Mama … I can’t marry Winslow.”

Confusion clouded her mother’s face. “What are you talking about?”

“If you haven’t heard, I’m sure you will. Winslow has sired a child with another woman.” Rosalie slumped back on the pillows.

Her mother paled and sank into a chair. “Who told you this?”

“I heard the rumor yesterday at tea, but Winslow confirmed it.” The words brought back the pain of Winslow’s indifference and Rosalie fought back tears.

“Oh my dear, I’m so sorry.” Her mother’s voice was heavy with regret.

“Then you can understand why I cannot go through with the marriage.” Breaking her engagement would certainly be a scandal.

“Rosalie, I’m sorry you found out. I’m sorry for your embarrassment. Winslow should be more discreet by far. Regrettably, you are learning an unfortunate truth about men in advance of your marriage. Many men keep,” she paused and coughed delicately, “a convenience. Frankly, you should be glad of it. If he has another outlet for his … needs, you won’t have so many children.” Mrs. Weld’s color heightened as she finished.

“Mother—” Rosalie couldn’t believe her ears. Her mother seemed to think her broken heart an inconvenience to be put aside.

Mrs. Weld raised her hand, forestalling Rosalie’s objections. “I don’t mean to be so blunt, but it is the way of things. You must demand that Winslow be more circumspect in his behavior, but don’t expect that it will change.”

“Mama, I cannot marry a man who doesn’t love me.” Rosalie had counted on her mother’s support, but perhaps she shouldn’t have expected it. They had disagreed on so many other things in the past, but this was so much more important. This was the rest of her life.

“Winslow cares for you in his own way. That is all you can expect.” Her mother waved her hand as if to wipe Rosalie’s concerns away.

“You don’t understand—”

“I understand perfectly. Your father and I have indulged your romantic notions because there didn’t seem to be any harm. You made a good match. You cannot break it off. If you jilted Winslow, you’d be unlikely to receive another offer.”

Rosalie stared at her mother, aghast and speechless.

“Hold your head high. People will find something else to talk about soon enough.” Her mother swept out of the room, leaving Rosalie to her tea and toast.

Her mother’s reaction, or rather the lack thereof, stunned Rosalie. Getting married to Winslow was an impossibility. He’d as good as told her he didn’t plan to honor their marriage vows. He was having a
child
with another woman. She wanted nothing further to do with him. Anger and betrayal burned through her.
Why didn't her mother understand?

She needed to speak to her father. He was a rather gruff, reserved gentleman, but he wouldn’t want his daughter married to a man of poor character.
Would he?

~*~

That evening at dinner, Rosalie waited for an opening to bring up the subject of her marriage. He father droned on and on about business until Rosalie thought she would go mad. She barely touched her food as her anxiety rose.

Finally, her father said, “I’ve finalized a business arrangement with Albert Bonham. We should add him and his wife to the guest list for the wedding.”

“I’ll make a note of it,” Mrs. Weld responded.

“Father, I’d like to talk to you about that, if I may,” Rosalie interjected.

Her mother waved her hand. “Now Rosalie, if you’re going to bring up what I think you are, that subject is closed.”

Mr. Weld cleared his throat. “What subject?”

“My wedding.” Rosalie was not going to allow her mother to divert her.

“Your wedding? What about the wedding?” Mr. Weld’s eyebrows beetled in irritation. Wedding plans were not something that interested him.

“There isn’t going to be one,” Rosalie stated baldly.

Mr. Weld’s fork clanked against his china plate. “What? What is going on here?”

Mrs. Weld wiped her mouth with the corner of her napkin. “Rosalie heard about the unpleasantness regarding Winslow. She’s very young and we’ve sheltered her, as any proper young lady should be. However, I’ve explained to Rosalie her concerns are no cause for breaking an engagement.”

“Is this about the—”

“Yes,” Mrs. Weld interrupted.

Rosalie gasped. “You knew? You both knew?”

“Heard it at my club last week.” Mr. Weld avoided Rosalie’s stunned face.

“And you didn’t tell me?” Rosalie threw her napkin on the table.

“Not dinner conversation material,” her father barked.

“I agree completely,” her mother said. “Let’s change the subject. I’ve been thinking of replacing the drapes in this room.”

Rosalie opened and closed her mouth several times, at a loss as to how to respond. “May I be excused? I’m not feeling well.” Without waiting for an answer, Rosalie left her chair and rushed from the room. In the hall, she broke into a run and dashed up the stairs to her bedroom. She threw herself on the bed and waited for the tears to come, but they didn’t. Humiliation and misery had been replaced by anger. Her whole body vibrated with rage—rage at Winslow for not being the man she thought he was, and rage at her parents for not believing she deserved better.

Her eyes fell on a recent letter from her cousin Audra and she snatched it off her writing desk. Rosalie opened the letter again and reread it.

Dearest Cousin Rosalie —

I hope this letter finds you and your family well in Boston. My husband and I have been preparing for the upcoming winter. We have laid in our food stores and patched the roof. We deem ourselves ready for whatever may come. We have been blessed and are expecting a child around Christmas. In the spring, Lucas plans to add on to our cabin to accommodate our growing family. Our dog, Princess, had puppies again and they are the most delightful creatures, climbing around in the cabin and licking everything in sight.

The leaves have fallen from the cottonwood trees and snow is visible in the mountains, especially on the peaks. It is quite chilly—even at mid-day, but the evergreen trees look beautiful frosted in the morning. We are expecting snow ourselves any day and are surprised it is so late this year. However, we have no complaint regarding the weather, as it makes our tasks easier for the moment.

I was pleased to hear of your engagement to Mr. Dudley. I hope that you find the same happiness in marriage that I have. It must be very exciting to plan such a large wedding, though a good deal of work as well, I imagine.

Please pass my regards to your mother and father.

With Great Affection,

Audra Blake

Jealousy seared Rosalie for a moment. Her cousin had married for love and it seemed her husband doted on her. They had their own place and controlled their own destiny. A baby was on the way already.

Rosalie didn’t begrudge Audra her happiness. She just wanted some of her own.

~*~

The next morning, Rosalie woke with a sense of calm and a plan. She would not marry Winslow Dudley. She would
not
spend her life with an unfaithful man. He would
not
pass his questionable values on to her children. She was firm and resolute in her decision, but knew her parents wouldn’t support her choice. She’d have to leave, at least for a while.

Rosalie knew exactly where to go. Her cousins, Audra and Lilah, lived in the Colorado Territory, right on the frontier. She felt sure they would welcome her for a visit. She had money left to her by an aunt in the bank, and it was in her name. She’d buy a ticket on the Union Pacific railroad and be on her way. There was much to do.

~*~

Rosalie slipped downstairs quietly but her mother heard the squeaky step and appeared in the hall.

“I hope you are feeling better this morning, Rosalie.”

“I am, thank you,” Rosalie responded. “I’ve a mind to visit Katherine today, if you have no objection.”

“Of course. I think that would be a good distraction for you. I’ll have the carriage brought round.” Her mother strode off down the hallway.

All in all, Rosalie was surprised by how easily her plan came together. With newfound confidence, she visited the bank and withdrew a large sum of money. Though overwhelmed at the busy train station, she managed to purchase a ticket from Boston to Denver leaving the next day. She wasn’t quite clear how far Cascade Creek was from Denver, but she was confident she could negotiate the last leg of her trip when she arrived.

Rosalie did stop at Katherine’s for a brief visit in case her mother asked, but said nothing of her intentions to her friend. When she returned home, she dithered a bit on how much luggage was appropriate, but finally settled on a small trunk. She packed clothing, personal items, and even a few small gifts for her cousins. She slid the trunk under her bed where it wouldn’t be sighted.

There was no time to post a letter to Audra and Lilah regarding her visit, as she would likely arrive at the same time as the mail. However, based upon their correspondence, she was sure an invitation would have been extended had she inquired. She didn’t allow herself to imagine differently.

That evening at dinner, she was silent regarding her plans. Her parents made idle conversation but seemed unconcerned about Rosalie’s subdued mood. No doubt they assumed she was still absorbing the events of the last few days.

Rosalie excused herself as soon as she was able and returned to her room. She needed to compose a letter to her parents and choosing the right words would take time.

As she prepared for bed, her anxiety rose and she was tempted to confide in her mother. Of course, the moment she did so, they would never allow her to go. Not only was her wedding in the final planning stages, but a young woman of breeding didn’t travel alone.

Rosalie tossed and turned most of the night, but was firm in her decision. She’d never defied her parents before—never knowingly done anything to upset them, but this time she could not do as they expected.

Rosalie had chosen her departure with care. Her mother had a garden club meeting every Friday afternoon and today was no exception. The maid had the day off, and with her father at the office, she need only wait until the housekeeper stepped out for shopping.

She wrestled her small trunk into the hallway and pulled it down the stairs. It thumped loudly on each step and Rosalie almost lost her footing as she tugged it behind her. When the trunk rested by the front door, she returned for her valise, which contained several books, a few pieces of clothing, and food she’d secreted out of the kitchen that morning. She fetched her coat, hat, and muff, as well as the letters she’d so laboriously written.

She unfolded the letter to her mother and father. She’d agonized over every word.

Mother and Father —

It is with a heavy heart that I have decided to leave Boston. I know you will be disappointed that I have broken my engagement to Winslow Dudley, but despite your assurances, I find myself unable to lead the life laid before me. I must choose a different path.

Please have no concern for my wellbeing. I plan to visit our relations in the Colorado Territory. I hope to return to Boston in the future with a clear mind and a mended heart.

I hope you will find it within yourself to understand my choice and forgive my actions.

Your Loving Daughter,

Rosalie

She left the letter for her parents on the hall table, confident it wouldn’t be missed in that location. Rosalie felt alternately wretched and excited. She was eager to try an adventure and see something more of the country than Boston. The reason behind her choice was a misery, and at this moment, it was hard to imagine the ache in her heart ever subsiding.

With a last look at her home, Rosalie opened the front door and dragged her trunk outside, closing the door behind her.