Werewolf Academy Book 5: Lost (8 page)

Chapter Eight

“I just couldn’t get Kalia out of my mind,” Alex said quietly. He leaned against the edge of the roof and studied the street below. “I had to do something, or I was going to go crazy.”

Jericho held Cherish’s cellphone which showed the news article from the girls Alex had rescued. They looked much better in clean clothes and back with their families.

“You saved all of those girls,” he said from his seat next to Alex on the roof.

“I’m tired of bullies and people who think they can control anyone else out of fear,” Alex replied. He fought back the urge to shiver. The hoodie shouldn’t even have been necessary, yet if he let his guard down, the cold crept in.

“Those girls were lucky you came.”

“They were brave,” Alex told the Alpha. “Braver than they should have needed to be.”

“Same with you,” Jericho said, his gaze on the horizon. “You’ve been through a lot.”

Alex’s chest clenched. He wasn’t in a stable place of mind to talk about those things. He forced a light tone. “You and Cherish seemed to hit it off.”

It was Jericho’s turn to hesitate. When he met Alex’s questioning gaze, the Alpha couldn’t fight back the smile that spread across his face. “She’s a nice girl.”

“She’s a great girl,” Alex agreed. “You couldn’t find better if you tried.”

“She said she was determined not to find a guy until she earned her doctorate.”

Alex shrugged, fighting back a small smile. “Sometimes these things happen. Don’t fight it. I can tell by the look on your face that you’re smitten by her.”

“But what if she doesn’t feel the same way?” Jericho asked with the first hint of concern in his voice.

“I know what I saw,” Alex told him. “She likes you, but give her time so you don’t scare her away. Werewolves can be pretty darn persistent. Once a werewolf finds the person who completes them, they don’t give up.”

“Like you with Siale?” Jericho asked.

Siale’s name sent a surge of want through Alex so sharp he could barely breathe. He had to call her, to talk to her, to do anything that would let him be near her again.

"Like me and Siale,” Alex agreed.

“She’s one of the reasons I’m here.”

That surprised Alex. “I thought I was the reason you’re here.”

“Trent told me you went on some hero vigilante bender and he was worried about you.” He shrugged. “I might still feel a bit of responsibility for you because you were my Second and would probably still be if it wasn’t for the crazy new term rules.” Jericho’s smile faltered and Alex felt the first shadow of worry. “But Siale’s the one I’m really concerned about.”

“What’s going on?”

“She wanders around aimlessly, like she has nowhere to go. She doesn’t laugh or smile anymore. It’s like with you not around, she’s lost her purpose.”

The Alpha’s words sent a rush of apprehension through Alex so sharp he could barely breathe. When he had spoken to Siale at the funeral, she acted like nothing was wrong. The thought that she may have been pretending she was fine to give Alex the time he needed to get through his own problems made his heart ache. Had he truly been so selfish?

He stood. “I need to call her.”

Jericho chuckled. “I’ll give you some privacy.”

“I don’t want to be rude,” Alex hedged.

The Alpha held up a hand. “You look like you’re ready to jump off this roof if it will get you to her faster. Call her before we have to fix your broken legs or something.” Jericho tossed him the headset Cherish had taken from the motorcycle helmet.

Alex waited for Jericho to head back downstairs before he pushed the button on the headset.

“Trent, you there?”

“Of course,” the werewolf replied immediately. “I’ve been on pins and needles waiting to hear whether you died or not.”

“I haven’t died,” Alex told him with a begrudging smile. “I’m feeling a lot better, actually.”

“That’s good, because according to Jericho, you looked like death warmed over when he got there, and it sounded like he was putting it lightly for Cassie’s sake because she was in the Wolf Den when he called.”

The thought of his sister worrying made Alex uneasy. “Please tell her I’m okay.”

“I already have,” Trent reassured him. He cleared his throat. “Now I assume you’ve called for a reason.”

“Can I talk to Siale?”

“There it is,” Trent said triumphantly. His voice became muffled as he turned away from the microphone. “I told you less than five minutes.”

“I’m not giving you my Twinkie.”

“We made a bet and I won.”

“I never agreed to it!” Brock argued.

“Fine.” Trent’s voice became louder again. “I’ll send the call up.” Alex could hear the smile in his friend’s voice when he said, “I installed a private line in her room because I figured you would call at random hours and wish to be paged through.”

“I appreciate your genius,” Alex said with only a hint of sarcasm.

“I know you do,” Trent replied.

The sound of Siale’s voice when she answered the phone a minute later made Alex’s knees weak. Hearing her talk filled him and reminded him at the same time how empty he was without her.

“Alex?”

He fought back a smile of embarrassment, telling himself that there was no one to see it. “Hi, Siale. I’m sorry. I’m just wondering how I was able to go this long without hearing you talk.”

“I feel the same way,” she replied, but her gentle tone softened the words.

Alex leaned against the edge of the roof and buried his face in one hand. “I just needed to talk to you, to remember...” He tried to phrase what he wanted to say, but he felt like it was all coming out wrong. “Siale, I miss you so much. I can’t go back, but without you, I’m just spinning in circles and if I don’t stop I’m probably going to do something crazier than I just did.”

“Which sounded pretty crazy,” Siale said, her tone softly musing.

Alex fought back a half laugh, half sob. “Yeah, it was,” he admitted. “But the girls are safe now.”

“Trent showed me what was on the news. You are a hero to them.”

Alex rubbed his eyes. “One werewolf trying to make a difference, right?”

“Yeah, but you
are
making a difference,” Siale pointed out. “I mean a real difference. You made a difference to those girls and their families. Do you think they’re going to forget that they owe the safety of their daughters, their sisters, their friends to a werewolf? Never.”

Alex hunched over, holding onto the headset as if it was a lifeline. “You make it sound like so much more than it was.”

“What was it?” she asked gently.

Alex thought for a moment. He remembered the helpless frustration of seeing Kalia’s body be lowered into the ground and him unable to do anything to stop it. He heard the sobs of her mother as she left her daughter at the cemetery.

“I was going to explode. I had to do something after Kalia...” He shook his head. “I can’t breathe without remembering. I can’t close my eyes without hearing the gunshot. There’s no escape, Siale.” The panic he felt welled too close to the surface. “What do I do? I hoped fighting the gangs and freeing girls from the Saa would help me cope, but the pain doesn’t go away.”

“Alex, I need to see you.”

Alex shook his head, but before he could deny her request, Siale said, “I need to know that you’re okay. You’ve got to give me that. I can’t just keep telling myself you’re fine. I need to know.”

“I’m not fine,” Alex admitted. The words were so hard to say, yet the second they left his lips, he knew they were true.

“I know,” she replied. “That’s why I need you to meet me.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere,” she said, the relief clear in her tone that he was willing. “What’s halfway? I’ll get the motorcycle from Trent.”

That brought a smile to Alex’s face. “You think he’ll let you?”

“I’ll talk him into it.”

The thought of Siale riding an unfamiliar motorcycle through the night struck Alex wrong. “I’ll meet you in the forest.”

“The Academy’s forest?” Siale asked in surprise.

“Yeah, Rafe’s forest. I’ll call you when I get there.”

“You’re leaving now?”

“Right now,” Alex said. He couldn’t help the smile that touched his face at the happiness in her voice. He was going to Siale, his Siale. “I’ll see you soon.”

***

Siale was already at the cliff when Alex reached the base. He could see her standing at the top. She hurried down to meet him, the smile on her face so big she practically glowed. As soon as she cleared the last boulder, Alex wrapped her in his arms.

“I’ve missed you so badly.”

“Me, too,” she replied, holding him tight.

After a moment, he realized he was shaking. Siale seemed to realize the same thing. “Alex, are you okay?” she asked, stepping back to look at him.

Alex couldn’t bring himself to meet her eyes. “I don’t know, Siale.” He turned away from her. “I’m not sure about anything anymore.” He swallowed and said the next words past the knot in his throat. “Since Kalia was killed, I feel like I’m trapped in the body pit again, only this time I’m alone and no one is coming to rescue me.” Tears welled in his eyes. He blinked hard, refusing to let them fall. His voice cracked when he said, “I can’t shut the memories out. There’s no escape.”

Siale’s warm hand slipped in his. “Come with me,” she said softly.

Alex followed her numbly to the edge of the lake. He was surprised when she kept walking, leading him in the cold water until it was to his waist, then his chest.

“I want you to trust me,” Siale said quietly.

Alex watched her. One part of him, the part that was vulnerable and broken from his experiences, balked at the thought of letting his guard down. The other part of him was caught by the warmth of her gaze and the heat that ran up his arm from the brush of her hand. That part of him was ready to give up everything for her.

“Can you do that?” she asked, her voice soft.

Alex hesitated, but she was his one. He couldn’t deny her anything. He nodded.

“Good,” Siale said. She put her hand gently over his eyes. “Lay back,” she whispered into his ear.

Alex did as she instructed. He let his lungs fill with air and tipped his head back. She lifted him gently with her hand at the small of his back.

It was a surreal sensation, floating in the water with Siale’s hand as his anchor. She kept her right hand at his back and lifted her left one to his hair. With a touch so gentle shivers brushed across his skin, she began to trace little circles along his forehead and cheekbones. The water pushed against his body, making him sway gently up and down while she kept him in place.

A sigh escaped from Alex. All he could hear was the sound of his heartbeat. It was steady for the moment, a strong double whoosh that forced away all of his fears and memories. For the moment, under Siale’s administrations, Alex was able to just be, to breathe, to float, and to exist as merely the heartbeat that pulsed life through his veins.

“You’re shivering,” Siale whispered, breaking through the silence after a long while had passed.

Alex opened his eyes, lifting his head. “I can’t help it.”

She moved her hands, letting his feet lower back down to the silty lake bottom. “Werewolves don’t get cold.”

Alex gave her a small, wry smile. “I told you I was broken.”

Her eyebrows pulled together. “How do you feel?”

Alex thought about it for a moment. “Better.” For the first time since he could remember, he could think without agonizing thoughts trying to overwhelm him. He took a deep breath and let it out with a nod. “Much better.” His head cocked to the right. “How did you do that?”

She smiled at him. “A werewolf I know once helped me find my escape from memories that threatened to consume me.”

“He must have been a smart guy,” Alex replied.

Siale gave a soft laugh. “He was.”

They walked hand in hand up the bank and sat on the grass. Alex couldn’t fight the chills that racked his body.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Siale asked worriedly.

Alex nodded. “Better than I’ve felt in a long time.” He gritted his teeth to keep them from chattering. “This is nothing.”

“I think I can help,” Siale replied. She leaned over without warning and kissed him soundly on the lips.

When she sat back, Alex’s shivering had stopped.

“See,” she said with a pleased smile.

Alex made a show of shaking again. “I think I might still need your help.”

“Happy to oblige,” she said with a light, musical laugh.

They eventually left the lake and the grass and walked together back toward the Academy.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come inside?” Siale asked.

The warm light that spilled out the windows promised a welcome homecoming, but Alex shook his head. “I can’t. Not yet.” Thoughts of facing Boris and Torin and of walking halls that would still contain Kalia’s scent twisted his stomach. “I’m just not ready.”

“I understand,” Siale said. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. “I just want you to know that there are many people there who love you. We’ll be waiting.”

Alex hesitated near the gate. Jericho’s words lingered in his mind. “Are you going to be okay?”

Siale’s smile faded just a bit. “It’s not the same without you. Sometimes I wonder why I’m here.” She held up a hand before he could voice his concern. “Just promise me you’ll come back. All of this is worth it. I want you to know that.”

“I’ll be back,” he promised. “I can’t stay away too long with you waiting for me.”

“Good,” she replied with a smile. “Be careful.”

“I’ll try,” he promised.