We'll Meet Again (31 page)

‘Seeing you is the best medicine. But you must not come again, sweetheart. It’s too dangerous.’

She brushed his hair back from his forehead. It had grown during his illness and the natural wave softened the chiselled outline of his face, giving him the look of a poet rather than a soldier. She smiled. ‘You can’t get rid of me that easily.’

At that moment the ward door opened and a staff nurse bustled into the room. She stopped at the first bed to examine the patient’s temperature chart.

‘Go,’ Rayner said, squeezing Meg’s hand. ‘Go now.’

Picking up the basket of cleaning materials, she glanced over her shoulder to make certain that the nurse was still occupied with her patients, and blowing a kiss to Rayner she hurried from the ward. It was surprisingly easy to replace the overall, cap and basket in the maids’ room and to stroll casually out of the hospital. Once outside she found that she was trembling from head to foot, but she had done it; she had seen him and she would do it again. She had to force her legs to move, one step at a time until she was walking briskly, heading homeward.

After that day, Meg went to the hospital at least twice a week. She had only a matter of minutes with Rayner on each hazardous visit, but it was worth the risk just to see him, to speak to him and occasionally to touch his hand or on one occasion, when the nurse had left the curtains drawn around the bed, to snatch a kiss that was so full of longing that it physically hurt. She had the satisfaction of seeing his condition improve almost miraculously, so that after a few weeks he looked very much like his old self. She was almost caught out on several occasions when surprised by an early ward round or given a direct order by one of the nurses who took her for a genuine ward maid, but luck seemed to be always
on her side. She existed only for her visits to the hospital. Afterwards, if there was time, she called in at the house on the Grange to see Pearl and Gerald, who had now recovered completely and was becoming bored, restless and grumpy.

‘You’ll have to speak to him, darling,’ Pearl said, taking Meg aside. ‘He’s talking about coming back to the manor or trying to get to France so that he can join the British Army. I can’t reason with him.’

‘I don’t suppose he’ll listen to me,’ Meg said, fondling Buster’s silky ears.

‘I’m afraid he’ll do something rash. You must try.’

‘Where is he now?’

‘In the garden. He works out there all the daylight hours. He says it gives him something to do.’

‘I’ll try,’ Meg said doubtfully. ‘Come on, Buster, let’s go and find him.’

Gerald was at the bottom of the Tostevins’ large garden, hoeing weeds in between rows of straggly-looking cabbages and yellowing turnip tops. He looked up as Meg approached and grinned. ‘Meg, it’s good to see you.’

She eyed him speculatively. ‘You look well, Gerald.’

‘I am, but I’m dying from boredom stuck here in town. I wanted to come back home but Mr Tostevin thinks that Dressler would have me locked up again.’

Meg plucked a stray dandelion clock and twirled it between her fingers, watching the downy seeds float up into the still summer air. ‘He’s right. And
Nordhausen is still around. He doesn’t bother me too much but I hate to think how he would be if you turned up again.’

Gerald threw the hoe down onto the sun-baked soil, wiping his hands on the seat of his trousers. ‘Then I’ll have to think of something else.’

‘You won’t do anything silly?’

‘Pearl told you?’

‘Yes, and you mustn’t even think of it. If the Germans don’t get you the sea almost certainly will.’

‘I can’t stay on the island any longer. You know perfectly well why.’

‘You didn’t know we were brother and sister.’

‘Feelings don’t change overnight, Meg. At least when I was helping the saboteurs I was doing my bit to fight the enemy. I must try to get back to my regiment if I can.’

‘Is there nothing I can say that will stop you?’

‘I know you’ve been seeing him again. Pearl told me.’

‘I love him and I always have. But I love you too, just as I love David.’

‘I don’t want you to love me like a brother,’ Gerald said, bitterly, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. ‘That’s why I must leave the island, whatever the risk.’

‘How will you go?’

‘Simone has arranged a meeting with Hugh and Tom. I’ll know then.’

Meg bit her lip; she knew there was no dissuading
Gerald. He had the mutinous, stubborn look in his eyes that she had seen so often in Simone’s expression. ‘I still think you’re mad, but good luck anyway.’ She held out her hand but he turned away.

‘Goodbye, Meg.’

‘Don’t leave like this. Can’t we at least be friends?’

‘Not while you’re with him.’ Gerald hunched his shoulders and kicked a clod of earth so that it burst into a cloud of dust. He walked off in the direction of the house.

Summer storms prevented Meg from going to the hospital for a few days and she worked in the greenhouses picking and packing tomatoes, none of which would get to market but would all go to feed the desperately hungry German Army. When she was certain she was not being observed, she hid a few of the smaller or misshapen tomatoes in a hole dug just outside the greenhouse; later she would smuggle them into the house. Food was even scarcer now that the sea links with France had been cut and the whole island, including the Germans, was on the brink of starvation. Meg had heard horrific stories about pets being stolen and killed for food and she was glad that Buster was safe in the town house, never allowed out except in the garden and then only when Pearl or Gerald was there to watch him. Being separated from Rayner, even for a few days, left a gaping hole in her heart, but she comforted herself with the fact that he was safe in his hospital bed. She
would go and see him as soon as the last tomato was picked, regardless of the weather.

News filtered through that the German garrison at St Malo had been captured by the Allied troops and the family celebrated quietly. The German officers were even more edgy these days and easily irritated. No one wanted to get on the wrong side of Nordhausen or von Eschenberg.

Meg set off for the hospital unchallenged. There were no sentries on the gate and no need for a permit to leave the grounds, but the starvation diet had sapped her energy and walking any distance took a great deal of effort. She found she tired easily, having to stop every so often and sit down to rest. She was late arriving, and having changed into the maid’s uniform, she hurried to the ward but to her horror she found it empty and the beds stripped down to bare mattresses. For a moment, she stood dazed and uncomprehending. Only a few days ago this place had been a hive of activity with nurses attending the sick and injured.

‘What are you doing here?’

She spun round to face a stern-looking ward sister with a faint shadow of a moustache on her long upper lip. ‘This ward is closed.’

‘Sorry, sister. My mistake.’ Meg ducked her head and sidled past the irate nurse.

‘I’ll report this to your supervisor.’

Panicked and desperate to find Rayner, Meg broke
into a run. More by luck than judgement she found Simone in a tiny ward kitchen making hot drinks for the patients.

‘What are you doing here?’ Simone demanded angrily. ‘And why are you dressed like a ward maid? What have you done, you silly cow?’

Meg wrenched the mobcap off her head, allowing her hair to fall loose around her shoulders. ‘He’s gone. They’ve all gone,’ she said breathlessly. ‘Where have they taken Rayner?’

‘There was a suspected case of typhoid. They’ve taken the lot of them back to the underground hospital.’

The white walls spun in dizzying circles and Meg grasped the edge of the table in an attempt to steady herself.

‘Don’t you dare pass out on me,’ Simone hissed in her ear. She thrust the mug of hot milk into her hands. ‘Here, drink this. Then you’d better get going, and keep away from here in future.’

The milk slid down Meg’s throat. She could feel it warming her empty stomach and almost miraculously she began to feel better. ‘Thanks. But I don’t want to get you into trouble.’

‘Never mind the apologies, just go.’

‘I will, but first tell me if there’s any way I can get a message to Rayner.’

Simone snorted with laughter. ‘D’you think I’m a bloody miracle worker?’

‘You have your contacts.’

‘I can’t help you.’

Meg put the mug down on the table. ‘Then I’ll just have to do something myself.’

‘If you’re caught hanging around the underground hospital you’ll bring the Feldpolizei down on the lot of us.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘They’ll make you talk. You won’t be able to help yourself but they’ll drag it from you.’

‘What? I don’t know anything.’

‘You know about Gerald and his friends. That’s enough.’ Simone cocked her head on one side, holding her finger to her lips. ‘Someone’s coming,’ she whispered. ‘Get out of here now before they start asking questions.’

This was not the time to argue. Meg shot out of the kitchen, ignoring the outraged protests of the orderly who was about to enter the room and whose toe she trod on in her haste. She ran towards main reception, tearing off the overall and dropping it on the floor. Even when she was safely outside the hospital she kept running until she reached the Tostevins’ house, collapsing over the threshold as Hannah opened the door.

The pungent odour of sal volatile brought her gasping to her senses.

‘Take it easy, Meg.’ Pearl’s voice and face floated somewhere above her head.

Meg struggled to sit up but was thrust back into the chair. ‘I must see Gerald.’

‘Drink this.’ Pearl pressed a glass of water into Meg’s hands and helped her raise it to her lips. ‘Take your time and then tell me what happened.’

Meg swallowed a mouthful of water and choked. ‘They’ve taken Rayner to the underground hospital.’

‘He’ll be safe there.’

‘I must speak to Gerald.’

‘You can’t. He’s gone.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Don’t get upset again.’ Pearl took the glass from Meg’s nerveless hand and put it on the kitchen table. ‘He’s safe with his friends. They’re going to help him.’

‘Tell me everything,’ Meg said urgently. ‘I’m not leaving here until you do.’

‘You shouldn’t have made me bring you here, miss.’ Billy’s voice was muffled by the thick white fog that enveloped them both as they clambered down the steep wooden steps leading to the cove below. Meg could hear the soft sucking sound of the waves on the beach and breakers further out to sea as the swell encountered the jagged rocks. The cold salt air filled her lungs as she clung to the railings. She almost missed her footing on the slippery surface, and as she made a grab for anything that would save her from falling, her fingers tore at the rock face, breaking her nails and making her bite her lip to stop herself from crying out in pain. Catching hold of a slippery clump of thrift, she clung on desperately, and with a supreme effort she managed to conquer her nerves.
Moving cautiously she found a foothold, and went down, down into the swirling, choking blanket of fog. By the time she reached the sandy cove her knees had turned to jelly.

‘You all right?’ Billy’s large hand gripped her shoulder.

‘Yes, yes. I’m fine but I can’t see anything. Are they here?’

‘Shh.’ Billy clamped his hand over her mouth. ‘Sound carries on a night like this. Stay here. I’ll be back in a minute.’

Suddenly she was alone as Billy disappeared into the soup of fog and darkness. She could hear his feet squelching on the wet sand and then nothing but the rhythmic motion of the waves. Meg shivered as the dampness chilled her bones. It had been blisteringly hot for the last few days, punctuated with fierce thunderstorms followed by a sudden calm that had brought the fog sweeping across the island. Perfect conditions if an escape were to be made. Something rustled nearby and instinctively she moved forward, crashing into a warm human body. Her cry of alarm was instantly muffled by a man’s hand.

‘Meg, what the hell do you think you’re doing here?’

Gerald’s voice close to her ear made her want to cry with sheer relief. ‘Thank God it’s you.’

He wrapped his arms around her shivering body. ‘You must go at once. Billy shouldn’t have let you come.’

‘He couldn’t stop me. I had to come to try to make you see sense. You mustn’t do this.’

‘I can’t stay. It’s better this way.’

‘You’ll be killed.’

Gerald’s arms held her like a vice. Meg could not see his face clearly but she felt his breath warmly caressing her cheek. His damp clothes smelt faintly of woodsmoke and pine and she could feel his heart beating beneath the coarse wool of his guernsey.

‘If I die in the attempt it’s better than living on here without you,’ he said, tracing the contour of her face with his finger.

‘It doesn’t have to be like this.’

‘I love you, Meg. I don’t feel like your brother and I won’t stand by and watch you give yourself to someone else, especially when he’s the bloody enemy. It would be a slow death.’

‘But think about your mother and Simone and our father, who loves you deeply, I understand that now. Think of them.’

‘I am thinking of them. This is the best way out for all of us.’

‘It’s time. Come on.’ Hugh’s voice cut through the darkness.

Gerald released her, backing away. ‘Goodbye, Meg.’

‘Please don’t go.’ She ran after him, stumbling over small rocks and splashing through deep pools of ice-cold seawater, but just as she reached the water’s edge strong arms held her back.

‘Please be quiet, miss. You’ve got to let him do this.’

Leaning her head against Billy’s shoulder, Meg struggled with guilt and grief. Gerald was leaving because of her and she was helpless to prevent him going to almost certain death. She could just make out the shape of the boat as it was launched into the waves, and it was frighteningly small.

She raised her hand in a feeble attempt to wave but the vessel was swallowed up by the fog and all she could hear was the gentle slicing of the oars as they cut through the waves.

‘We’ve done all we can,’ Billy said, hooking his sinewy arm around her shoulders. ‘Best get away from here before the fog lifts.’