Read Welcome to Last Chance Online
Authors: Cathleen Armstrong
Tags: #FIC042040, #FIC027020, #Self-realization in women—Fiction
Lainie turned to Steven, who had found the remote and was settling into the armchair. “So what's going on? Everything okay?”
Steven didn't look up from his channel surfing. “Yeah, Manny's bringing the tow truck when he closes up the garage. He said he'd be here about eight.”
“What about the diner? Did it get opened okay? Did you call your grandmother to make sure she wasn't worried?”
Steven turned to Lainie with an irritated sigh. “Look, I said everything was okay, didn't I? Manny said he'd try to close up early, so let's just relax, all right?” He turned back to his remote.
Lainie curled up in a corner of the couch and gazed out the window. Had she changed as much as Lindsay said she had? It was
hard to tell. She could hardly remember herself before she landed in Last Chance. Only passing moments, like seeing Lindsay head out for a night of partying in her short skirt or hearing that Nick was still out there, stirred the sleeping memories of her abandoned past. And they left her feeling sick inside.
“Well, I'm off.” Lindsay breezed out of her room and headed for the door. “If you leave before I get home, just make sure the door is locked and pulled tight shut.” She bent over the sofa and offered an awkward hug somewhere in the vicinity of Lainie's head. “I'm so glad I got to see you, Lainie, and I'm sorry I was such a witch. I'm just not feeling my best right now. Do you have a phone number where I can reach you? I don't want to lose track of you again.”
When Lainie hesitated, Lindsay rushed on. “Just write it on that pad on the counter. I've got to go. If I'm late again, I'm dead.” She blew a kiss at Steven. “Loved meeting you, Steve. And don't forget, you promised the next night out is on you, so call me.” The door slammed behind her, and her quick steps faded down the concrete stairs.
Steven went back to his TV watching without saying a word to Lainie. Usually she had to beg him for five minutes silence, but those cartoons certainly had his attention. Something was up, but it was clear there was no way he was going to talk about it.
“I can't just sit here and listen to that television. I'm going outside.” Lainie jumped to her feet and grabbed her jacket.
“Don't get lost.” Steven switched the station without looking at her.
A cool wind blew a fast-food bag down the street, and Lainie pulled her jacket around her. She dropped to the step where she had waited for Steven and Lindsay and leaned against the railing, watching Saturday afternoon unfold around her. Even though she had never seen the neighborhood before last night, there was a
hopeless familiarity in the barred windows and dusty streets. Down the block a group of boys, not much older than Matthew from the looks of them, leaned against a parked car, laughing and calling out to some girls, who turned around in fury and yelled something Lainie couldn't hear. She didn't have to. She knew what the boys said; she knew what the girls answered; she knew what the car cruising slowly down the street was looking for. This had been her world. And it would be her world today if that red warning light hadn't shown up on her dash last summer. “Lucky break, I guess.”
A half smile crossed her face as Elizabeth's indignant voice popped into her mind. “Luck had nothing to do with it, young lady, and you know it.”
Maybe not luck, then. Maybe Elizabeth was right and God was in control, even when you didn't even know who he was. Tears stung her eyes.
“God, did you really see me last summer? Was it you and not my dumb car that got me to Last Chance? I want to go back there, God. I want to go home. I mess things up so bad when I try to make my own plans. Will you take over for me? I like your plans so much better.”
She closed her eyes as a warm peace filled her until she wanted to burst out singing. “And, God? I'm going to bring Ray to church with me. It's time he came home too.”
Manny arrived in his tow truck just past 7:30. Lainie saw him pull up, and she and Steven met him on the walk as he ambled toward the stairs. Never had Lainie seen him without a joke or a smile, but he was almost grim as he turned on his heel and headed back to the driver's side of his truck.
“Come on, let's go get my car. I need to get back. The girls are
sick and Patsy was not happy I was taking off after work instead of coming home to help her.”
“Sorry about the car, dude.” Steven opened the side door and slid in after Lainie. “The guy that hit us has insurance, though. I've got all his info.”
“Yeah, we'll see.” He started his engine. “Now, where's my car at?”
“Is everything okay at home?” Lainie moved her knee so Manny could shift gears. “No one was worried, were they?”
Manny looked at her, exchanged a glance with Steven, then returned his attention to the road in front of them. “Ask him.”
“I told you everything was fine, didn't I?” Steven dropped the arm he had stretched across the back of the seat to give her shoulder a squeeze. “Now stop worrying, okay?”
Lainie waited in the truck while they hooked the wrecked car to the tow and then settled between Manny and Steven for the ride through the darkness to Last Chance. Neither man was inclined to talkâcertainly a change from the norm for both of them, but Lainie relished the silence. She'd stop by the garage Monday to try to make amends with Manny for the wrecked car, and as for Steven, well, it would be a while before she had anything more to say to him.
The headlights flashed on one of Rita's roadside signs. “Make Last Chance Your Last Stopâ10 Miles.” Lainie smiled into the darkness. She couldn't get there fast enough. She had a few fences to mend with Ray, and hopefully Elizabeth wasn't too put out with her, but she was going home.
T
he porch light was on and the glow of a lamp shone through the curtains of Elizabeth's front window when Manny dropped them off at the curb. Lainie took a deep breath before starting up the walk.
“Looks like she's waiting up. I hope Fayette called her before she started wondering where we were.” Lainie glanced back at Steven, who was standing with his hand on the gate.
“She's probably just watching some old rerun of one of her cop shows.” Steven closed the gate, leaving himself on the outside. “You know, I feel kinda bad about leaving Ray with the bar when I said we'd be back. Why don't you make up with Gran, and I'll talk to Ray. I should have had Manny drop me there.”
“Are you kidding me?” Lainie stared at him. “You get back here. You're not leaving me to face her alone.”
But Steven had already started walking down the darkened road. He raised a hand over his head in farewell without looking back.
“Coward!” If Steven heard her, he gave no sign. She sighed and walked up onto the porch and opened the door.
Elizabeth sat upright in her recliner, her slippered feet flat on the floor. The ever-present television was dark and silent, but what really caught Lainie's attention were Elizabeth's red and swollen eyes.
“Elizabeth? What's wrong?” Lainie dropped onto the sofa and reached for Elizabeth's hand.
Elizabeth moved her hand out of Lainie's reach as tears welled up and spilled over her plump cheeks. “Would you mind telling me just where you've been? And why you left me sitting here not knowing if you were even alive?”
“What do you mean? We called just as soon as we could to tell you what was going on. Fayette gave you the message, didn't she?”
“We didn't get any message. We had no idea what had happened to you until Manny called to say he'd heard from you early this afternoon.” Elizabeth groped for a tissue and her voice broke. “Do you have any idea how frightened I've been? You know the kinds of things that have been going on down there. Ben made some calls and said as far as he could tell you hadn't been killed, but that was all anyone knew.”
Lainie shook her head to try to clear it. None of this was making any sense. “But Steven told me he left a message on Fayette's answering machine. Didn't she get it?”
Elizabeth blew her nose. “Fayette's back in Albuquerque. She got a call right after you left that Matthew had taken a fall in physical therapy, so she had to leave.”
“Oh, Elizabeth, I'm so sorry.” Lainie put her hand on Elizabeth's arm. “Steven did call Fayette just as soon as we could. His phone only had enough charge for one call, but we did try.”
Elizabeth blew her nose. “I can appreciate that Fayette would be glad to know you were okay, but did you ever think that maybe I would like to hear from you? Couldn't you have found a phone somewhere and called me? Or Ray? He was about to head over to Juarez to look for you himself when you all called Manny today.”
“I did try.” Lainie's voice trailed away. Her mind played over her long search for a phone, but the story still sounded implausible, even to her. “Really, I did try.”
Elizabeth glanced sideways at Lainie and blew her nose again.
After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Lainie tried again. “What happened at the Dip 'n' Dine this morning?”
“When no one came to open up, Carlos called here to see if you'd overslept or something. So we real quick called Juanita and Lurlene. They managed.”
The sick feeling in the pit of Lainie's stomach grew until it completely swallowed her. “I'm so sorry. I just don't know what I could have done differently.” Tears that had been clogging her throat spilled down her face. “I did everything I could.”
Elizabeth took her hand and looked into her eyes. “You could have listened to people who care about you and not gone in the first place.”
Lainie didn't try to defend herself. The one thing that had put her in that car with Steven was Ray telling her she couldn't go, and she knew it.
When the phone rang, she started to get up to answer it, but Elizabeth waved her back. “I'll get that. I'm sure it's someone calling to see if you're back yet. The phone's been ringing off the hook all day.”
Lainie reached for a tissue from the box on Elizabeth's end table. She leaned back against the sofa and closed her eyes. It didn't help to realize Elizabeth was talking to Ray.
“Yes, she got in a little while ago . . . No, she's okay. She's had a rough time of it, though.” Compassion crept back into Elizabeth's voice. She could be as stern as she felt she needed to be when she talked to you, but she invariably took your side when someone else landed on you. Lainie could only imagine what Ray must be saying to put Elizabeth on her side again. “You know, I was so relieved to see her walk in the door that I didn't think to ask.” She put her hand over the receiver. “Where's Steven? He came back with you, didn't he?”
Lainie sat up. “He left me at the gate and went to set things straight with Ray. Isn't he there?”
Elizabeth went back to her conversation. “She said he was on his way to see you. If he's coming he should be there shortly.” Her voice sounded sad. “I can't say it would surprise me if he didn't turn up, though. Facing the music has never been one of his strong suits. I had hoped he'd grown up some these last few years.”
Lainie took a deep breath and stood up. She needed to face a little music of her own. “Can I talk to him?” She held out her hand for the phone.
“Hon? Lainie wants to talk to you.” Elizabeth started to take the phone away from her ear then pulled it back. “Are you sure? She's right here . . . Okay, I'll tell her. Take care, honey. Looks like everyone's home safe and sound.”
Elizabeth hung up the phone and turned to Lainie, whose outstretched hand slowly drifted to her side. “Ray said he'd be over in the morning before church to talk to you. Now, I think we need to get some sleep. It's been a long two days for both of us.”
Lainie nodded, tears welling up again. “Elizabeth, I'm so very sorry about all this. I wish I could go back and do everything differently.”
“I know you do, honey. But even if there's no going back, there's always tomorrow. Things will look better in the morning.” Elizabeth's smile was weary, but she reached up and patted Lainie's cheek. “Now go on to bed.”
Dawn was just softening the early morning sky when Lainie heard Elizabeth get up and pad down the hall to the kitchen. If she had slept at all, it had been fitfully, and she lay quietly listening to the sounds of coffee being made and pans clanking on the stove.
Why hadn't Ray wanted to talk to her last night? She needed to hear his voice. Even if he was furious, as he had every right to be, they couldn't start working things out until she could tell him she knew how wrong she'd been. She got up and put her robe on and joined Elizabeth in the kitchen.
Elizabeth turned from the stove with a warm smile. There was no sign of the hurt and anger that had marred her face the night before. “Good morning, sweet thing. The coffee is just ready. How did you sleep?”
Lainie dropped in a chair at the kitchen table and shook her head. “I didn't. I feel like such a loser.”
“You put that out of your head right now. You are no such thing.” Elizabeth poured two cups of coffee and sat across the table from Lainie. She cradled her cup between her hands and looked into Lainie's eyes. “But I need to ask you something, so don't you tell me it's none of my business. You didn't do anything you shouldn't have, did you?”
When the significance of what Elizabeth was saying sank in, Lainie's eyes flew open and she sat back in her chair. “No! Steven? You've got to be kidding. Eew, no!”
The swallow of coffee Lainie took felt curdled and sour, and she gritted her teeth to keep it from coming up again. “Really? Is that what everyone thinks?”
“I don't know what most people think, but there are bound to be those who do. So you need to be able to hold your head up and look those folks squarely in the eye.”
Lainie stood up. “I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I'm just not ready for this. I can't walk into church this morning thinking that everyone is sitting there wondering if I spent the night with Steven. That just makes me want to throw up.”
“You know, I think you're right.” Elizabeth leaned back in her
chair to look up at Lainie. “It might be better if you stayed home this morning. If anyone has anything to say, they can just say it to me and I'll be happy to tell them that you are home safe and sound, resting.”
“I'm going to go shower.” Lainie headed out of the kitchen. “Do you think Ray is up? I'll call him and tell him he doesn't need to get here so early.”
The house was quiet when Lainie went into the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee and wait for Ray. No sound came from Elizabeth's sewing room, but since the door was now closed, Steven had doubtlessly come home when he thought the coast was clear. She had so much to tell Ray. He had to hear her out, to believe she wasn't the same person who stormed off with Steven. She was relatively sure Steven wouldn't interrupt them, even if he did wake up. If he had gone who-knows-where last night rather than face either Elizabeth or Ray, he was not likely to appear this morning.
“You big chicken,” she muttered at the closed door.
When she saw Ray pull up, it felt not like butterflies but like frogs jumping around in Lainie's stomach. She watched him tuck a flat, square package wrapped in brown paper under his arm and head up the walk. He was hunched into his sheepskin jacket against the wind. If only she could read his expression she would have an idea of what she was about to face, but his head was ducked to keep his battered Stetson from blowing off. She took a deep breath, pasted what she hoped was a winsome smile on her face, and went to open the door.
She had spent the night preparing her explanation, but all her words deserted her when Ray raised his head and she saw the pain on his face.
“Come on in.” Lainie held the screen door open for him. “I made a fresh pot of coffee, and Elizabeth baked a coffee cake for breakfast. Have you eaten?”
Ray set his package on the sofa and shook his head. “I can't stay long.” He glanced down the hall. “Did Steven ever turn up?”
“I think so. His door is closed, so my guess is that he's still asleep.”
The smallest trace of a smile lifted one side of Ray's mouth. “Wow, Gran went to church and let both of you stay home? She must be getting soft. Hang on, I'll be right back.”
Lainie watched him knock once on Steven's door and disappear inside. She sank onto the arm of the sofa and stared at the closed door. No sound came from the room. She almost would have preferred angry shouting. At least then she'd know what was going on.
Finally, the door opened again and Ray emerged. He couldn't have been in Steven's room for more than about five minutes, but Lainie felt she hadn't drawn a deep breath in hours. She found herself on her feet again when he stopped in front of her. Before he could say anything, she put her fingers against his lips.