Webster's New World American Idioms Handbook (26 page)

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Getting Revenge
and Related Idioms

Getting revenge
and
taking revenge
mean to punish someone or make someone suffer for a past offense or hurt. This can also be expressed with one of these idioms:

get back at someone

to get revenge. This idiom can also be said as
get someone back
. ♦
I was given the promotion instead of Jim, and now he’s trying to
get back at me
by being cold and unpleasant.

He insulted my team in the meeting, but I’ll
get him back
when he needs help from my department.

make someone pay

to get revenge. In this expression, “pay” doesn’t mean to pay money; it means to suffer. ♦
I’m going to
make him pay
for the rotten way he treated me.

She’s determined to
make me pay
for forgetting her birthday.
Note:
A variation of this idiom is
someone is going to pay,
which you can say when you’re not sure who is responsible. For example, “I don’t know who broke the vase, but
someone is going to pay
.”

teach someone a lesson

to get revenge; implies to make someone remorseful ♦
He tried to cheat us, but we
taught him a lesson
by telling everyone about it. Now, no one will do business with him.

I’m going to
teach him a lesson.
He’ll never steal from me again!

Shame and Guilt

Shame and guilt are powerful, and painful, emotions. They can make a person feel regret or feel very bad about him- or herself. The expressions in this section are used to convey these feelings.

Putting Someone to Shame
and Related Idioms

Putting someone to shame
means causing someone to feel shame, which is intense embarrassment or a mixture of embarrassment, guilt, and remorse for something one has done. The classic statement to make someone feel ashamed is
Shame on you!
Today, this expression is typically said jokingly.

Someone who looks ashamed is said to be
shame-faced.
To feel shame is also expressed with one of the following idioms. These idioms refer to the ways that people react to shame—lowering their head, covering their face, or hiding:

hang one’s head

Those boys were
hanging their heads
after they got caught eating the cake for Grandpa’s party.

hide one’s face

I wanted to
hide my face
when she told everyone at the table about my surgery. That’s private!

not show one’s face

Ever since the scandal was discovered, he
hasn’t shown his face.

When people feel that their shame will last for a long time, they might say “
I’ll never live it down!
” It’s also put as
never
going to live it down,
and here’s an example:

  • My sister told everyone at school that I sleep with a stuffed toy. I’m
    never going to live that down!

[See
losing face
in Chapter 13.]

Look Sheepish
and Related Idioms

Feeling guilty means feeling remorseful, feeling bad for having done something wrong. When people suffer from extreme feelings of guilt, they are said to be
guilt-ridden
or
consumed with guilt.
People can also feel just a little guilty for doing something that is bad for their health or costs too much money. Here are a few more expressions that mean someone looks guilty:

look sheepish

When he came home
looking sheepish,
I knew that he had bought another expensive power tool.

have guilt written all over one’s face

I know he’s seeing another woman. He
has guilt written all over his face.

Note:
One difference between shame and guilt is that people can feel shame, or be made to feel shamed, even when they haven’t done anything wrong. For example, one could feel shame about living in poverty, or about a physical feature that he or she is embarrassed about, such as large ears or excess weight. But feeling guilty generally means that the person has done something wrong, either deliberately or accidentally.

CHAPTER 11

CHARACTER TRAITS

Some people say you are born with your personality or character. Others say that you develop it during your life and that your environment or home life helps to shape it. This argument is part of a larger debate called the
nature-nurture argument
(is your character
natural,
inborn, or is it
nurtured,
learned and acquired in life?).

Whatever the answer, people are often described by their character or personality traits, such as generosity, honesty, and patience or selfishness, dishonesty, and impatience. Character affects how we act or behave, so idioms that describe character traits often describe specific behaviors too. This chapter is filled with idioms and expressions describing people’s character and behavior.

Idioms That Express Generosity

To convey that a person is extremely generous you can say “She would
give you her last dime”
or “He would
give you the shirt off his back.”
Here are some other idioms that express generosity:

a giving person

(n)
a person who gives his or her time or attention to others; this idiom does not necessarily refer to giving any material object ♦
He’s
a
very kind and
giving person;
he does a lot of charity work.

generous to a fault

(adj)
be too generous; overgenerous, giving more than one should ♦
She’s
generous to a fault.
Because of her generous nature, people are always asking her for money and other favors.

put others first

(v)
to think of the needs of other people before oneself; often said as
put one’s family first, put one’s kids first,
and so on. ♦
My mother always
puts her family first,
ignoring her own needs.

I can be very selfish, but I’m trying to learn to
put others first.

Note:
This idiom can also have an opposite meaning when said as
put oneself first
or as
put (something)
first,
in which case it means to make something the highest priority: “Their marriage suffered because he had to
put his work first,
and his personal life second.”

do for others

(v)
to help others; have a helping, generous attitude ♦
He was a very generous man, and spent his life
doing for others.

give of oneself

(v)
to give generously of time, skill, or whatever is needed ♦ Giving of yourself
is the best way to forget your own troubles.
♦ Give of yourself,
and you’ll be amazed at what you get back.

[For idioms that describe generosity with money, see Chapter 6; also see
do a good deed
in Appendix I.]

Idioms That Express Selfishness

People who are
self-centered
are often too focused on themselves; they can also be called
wrapped up in themselves
or described as
thinking only of themselves.
People who are
self-serving
are always looking out for their own best interests. Here are some more idioms that express selfishness:

look out for number one

to be concerned only with one’s own needs and interests. In American culture
looking out for number one
is not always considered an act of selfishness. It can also represent independence and self-sufficiency, which are respected character traits. ♦
He
looks out for number one
and no one else!

If I don’t
look out for number one,
who will?

into oneself

conceited, thinking of oneself as the best ♦
I don’t like him. He’s too
into himself.
Note:
Into
can be followed by any noun to express what a person is devoted to, as the following example shows: “Joe is really
into
baseball; it’s all he thinks about.”

it’s all about someone

when a person’s thoughts and actions are self-centered. Put as
all about you, all about him and so on.

You don’t care about my feelings.
It’s all about you.
Note:
The expression
all about . . .
can also mean that whatever follows it is extremely important. For example: “I’m not a doctor because of the money—it’s
all about
helping people.”

Me, Me, Me

Someone who thinks only of himself and rarely considers the needs or feelings of other people might be described like this:

“With him it’s always
me, me, me
.”

In other words, the selfish person thinks “It’s me who’s most important.”

This self-centered attitude is reflected in the expression the
Me Generation,
which is intended to describe people born in the 1950s to the 1970s, who live in an era characterized by materialism and self-advancement.

in it for oneself

involved in something for personal gain; to not have the best interest of the group in mind ♦
She volunteers with a charity only when she’s going to run for public office. Basically she’s just
in it for herself.

out for oneself

involved in something for personal gain at the expense of others; this idiom is similar to
in it for oneself,
but is even stronger and has a more negative connotation ♦
He acts like he’s part of the team, but in truth he’s just
out for himself. ♦
Students in this graduate program won’t help you; they’re all very competitive and
out for themselves.

Idioms That Express Compassion

A compassionate, caring or sentimental person is sometimes called one of these nouns:

a softy

My dad is just
a softy.
He always cries at sad movies.

a marshmallow

Don’t be such
a marshmallow;
you don’t have to give money to every person who asks you on the street.

an angel of mercy

Mother Teresa was considered
an angel of mercy.

a bleeding heart

Just because I support social programs doesn’t mean I’m
a bleeding heart.

In addition to the preceding nouns, there are plenty of other idioms that make reference to compassion.

Having a Heart
and Related Idioms

The heart is often considered the center of compassion, so it’s no surprise that a number of idioms for compassion and caring use the word
heart:

have a heart

to show compassion or kindness; often said to a person who is hesitant or unwilling to give help, kindness, or charity ♦
He wouldn’t even speak to the homeless man, but I said, “
Have a heart.
How would you feel if people treated you so unkindly?”

have a heart of gold

to be compassionate and generous ♦
That woman
has a heart of gold.
She’s so kind to people.

My grandmother
has a heart of gold.

warm-hearted

(adj)
to have warm, caring feelings for people ♦ S
he is very
warm-hearted.
People always feel welcome in her house.

Jerry is one of the most
warm-hearted
people I know.

soft-hearted

(adj)
to easily feel sympathy and compassion ♦
She so
soft-hearted;
she’s always bringing home lost animals.

He acts tough, but he’s really very
soft-hearted
and kind.

[See
cold-hearted, hard-hearted,
and a
heart of stone
later in this chapter.]

Your
Good Deed
for the Day

Nice things that are done for other people are often called
good deeds.
Many people believe that you should do a good deed every day. Doing a good deed, a simple kind or helpful act, is thought to develop character and compassion. A person might say, “I did my good deed for the day, I helped an elderly lady cross a busy street.” People also may ask, “Have you done your good deed for the day?” A good deed can also be called one of these idioms:

selfless act

She received praise for her many
selfless acts
of charity.

act of kindness

It was truly an
act of kindness
to help that old man.

You’re Not Alone

People often use the following short expressions to show support and understanding for someone who is having troubles. Sometimes two or more of these expressions may be said together:

You’re not alone.

I’ve been there.

We’ve all been there.

I feel for you.

I hear you (ya).

Here are some examples:

  • If you have ever been heartbroken,
    you’re not alone. We’ve all been there.
  • When you say that raising kids is challenging, believe me,
    I hear you!

A related expression is
I feel sorry for you,
which can also be used to show support. It is slightly different from the expressions above in that it shows stronger sympathy or pity. Also, it is generally used to refer to someone who is not part of the conversation. For example:

  • Joe: Did you hear that Amy was laid off from her job? Amber: Yes. And
    I feel sorry for her
    because she just bought a house.

one’s heart goes out to someone

to feel sorry for or sympathy for someone because of his or her unfortunate situation ♦ My heart really goes out to them
with their daughter in the hospital.
♦ Our hearts go out to all of you
who lost your homes in the fire.

one’s heart bleeds for someone

to feel very sorry and sad for someone’s misfortune; often said sarcastically ♦ My heart
just
bleeds for her.
She has had so much grief in her life.

Kelly: I wanted a BMW, but my parents bought me a Honda. Trish: Oh, gee!
My heart really bleeds for you.
I don’t even own a bicycle!

In the Same Boat
and Related Idioms

The following expressions show empathy, which is understanding and sympathy for situations or hardships that the speaker has also experienced.

in the same boat

experiencing the same challenge, difficult situation, or circumstance; often said as
be in the same boat

I have no family in this country either. I guess we’re
in the same boat. ♦
Well, we’re now
in the same boat.
I just lost my job, too.

be in someone’s shoes

to have the same experience as someone else. In this expression
shoes
means situation or circumstance. ♦
I remembe
r being in your shoes
when I was studying for my PhD. Just keep going!

The manager doesn’t know who stole from the cash register, so she may have to fire everyone. I wouldn’t want
to be in her shoes.

Idioms That Express Cold-Heartedness

In contrast to being compassionate, some people are
cold
(unfeeling, with no warmth or compassion for others). A person may also feel cold or uncaring about a specific situation.

Most idioms that express lack of compassion include the word
heart.
These idioms are often used as exaggeration or teasin
g,
as are many idioms that describe negative traits. The following idioms have the same general meaning: to be unfeeling, uncompassionate.

heartless (adj)

It was
heartless
of you to throw away her favorite toy as a punishment.

have no heart

He didn’t even call his elderly mother on her birthday. Some people just
have no heart.

cold-hearted
(adj)

He was a
cold-hearted
man and showed no affection or kindness to anyone.

hard-hearted (adj)

Her difficult childhood left her
hard-hearted
and unable to love.

Let’s forget our argument and forgive each other. Come on, don’t be
hard-hearted.

a heart of stone (n)

Don’t even try asking mom if we can keep this snake. She has
a heart of stone
about keeping lost pets.

[See
warm-hearted, soft-hearted,
and
have a heart of gold
earlier in this chapter.]

The follow two expressions mean that a person doesn’t care or is indifferent. These expressions are less harsh and insulting than idioms like
cold-hearted
,
heartless
and others in the previous group.

couldn’t (
or
could) care less

to not care at all; to be indifferent or unfeeling.
I could care less
is a common variation of
I couldn’t care less,
and means the same thing. ♦
They
couldn’t care less
about the employees.

I
could care less
if he’s dating someone. I have no feelings for him anymore.

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