Authors: Matt de la Pena
Flaca didn’t say a word the whole time I talked. She just sat there on her swing, rocking back and forth, staring at me, nodding sometimes. And when I finished it got mad quiet between us. Only thing making any sound was the crickets chirping away in the bushes. And how weird is that shit, I thought in my head. That there’s such a thing as crickets, these little bugs that hide in bushes at night and make crazy sounds together, who knows why. I know it’s just a small part of the world, but for some reason it made me wonder about
everything
. Being alive and God and if me and Flaca were maybe even meant to be and would get married someday and I’d introduce her to my moms.
When I couldn’t handle Flaca being quiet anymore I turned to her and said: “You ain’t gonna call the cops on us now, right?”
She shook her head, staring right back in my eyes. “It’s just so weird,” she said.
“What?”
“You totally don’t seem like that. My whole life I been around kids who get in trouble. And they’re all a certain way. You seem so different.”
I didn’t say anything back, just looked at the bushes thinking what she meant by that.
She pulled her cell halfway out her pocket to check the time, shoved it back in and said: “What’d you do, anyways?”
I picked up a stick off the ground and didn’t look at her.
“To get arrested in the first place, I mean,” she said.
I looked in front of us at the bushes where the crickets were hiding and thought for a sec. And I swear to God, man, I almost told her the truth right there. I almost said what happened out loud for the first time ever.
But I couldn’t.
I opened my mouth to talk and the words just vanished into thin air.
“Well?” she said.
Maybe it was ’cause I’d already told her so much, or because of everything that happened at the party, or ’cause I just didn’t want to say anything more about what I did, but right then I leaned in and I kissed her.
And she kissed me back.
And when we separated I thought how maybe we were together now. In the real way. Boyfriend-girlfriend. Like no matter if we got in an argument or disagreed on something she was still gonna be my girl. And I could just kiss her like this, anytime I wanted.
I leaned in and kissed her again, tilted my head, put my hands on her sides and kissed her as good as I knew how.
After a few seconds like that Flaca pulled back. She smiled at me and pulled her cell from her skirt pocket. “Hang on one sec,” she said. “I just gotta call Jules.”
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
She slid out of her swing and went over near the cricket bushes to make her call. I watched her trying to think what Diego would say about me telling a girl my business like that.
Or leaning in to kiss her. I picked up a stick, broke it in half and tossed both pieces to the ground. Then I felt around my neck for Mong’s tooth necklace tucked inside my sweatshirt. His good-luck charm was now
my
good-luck charm. It’s probably how come a girl as fine as Flaca seemed like she was feeling me so much.
When Flaca came back she sat right on my lap and we locked into a nice little making-out rhythm, our best so far. I wasn’t thinking random things this time either, I was just thinking about what we were doing. How hyped it was getting me.
She pulled away and touched my face with her hand. “I really wanna be with you, Miguel. Like
so
bad. But I gotta make sure my girls get home okay.”
“It’s cool,” I said, trying to think if “be with you” meant us having sex.
’Cause I was pretty sure she was saying sex.
But I didn’t know for sure.
But the way she said it …
“I got an idea,” she said. “Let’s make a pact.”
“About what?”
“Let’s meet here tomorrow night at exactly ten p.m. Just me and you. And this time I won’t have to go anywhere. I promise.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she said. “We’ll stay together the whole night.”
“Okay,” I said, my heart already beating faster. Now I
knew
she was meaning sex.
She ran her hand up my arm and bit her lip. “You can wait for me, right, baby?”
“I could wait,” I said, thinking if Diego would say he could wait or not.
“Okay, come on,” she said, hopping off me. “Walk me back to the baseball field.”
We left the playground together and walked back to the field. After we all said bye to each other, and Flaca winked at me, I watched them hurry off together. When they got up the hill they even started running, which seemed weird, but then I thought how Flaca’s girls were still scared about what happened with Rondell at the party.
I grabbed me and Rondell’s bags and carried ’em over to the dugout where Rondell was sleeping. I pushed ’em under the bench, then stood there looking at him for a while. He was sleeping like a damn baby. I wondered what kind of kid could do all the shit he’d done earlier, beating the hell out of three people, and then just go to sleep like nothing. I actually felt worse for him than ever ’cause of what just happened with Flaca. I mean, here I was having an actual relationship with a girl, something that happens to normal people, and Rondell was just laying here asleep after beating people up. Totally alone.
I went to the other end of the dugout and sat on the bench. I balled up one of the shirts in my bag for a pillow, laid down and closed up my eyes. But I couldn’t fall asleep right away. I kept thinking about Flaca, and how it would be the next night when she stayed with me. How maybe she could even chill with me and Rondell for a while, until we figured out how to get the money. Or maybe we could stay down here. In National City. It didn’t really matter where we were that much.
I tried to think if I’d ever met a girl as pretty as Flaca.
After tossing and turning a bunch of times I gave up on the whole sleep thing and sat up. Sleep just wasn’t gonna happen. My mind was going too much. I stared across the dark baseball field and thought about me and Rondell. And the money we needed. What was gonna end up happening to us. I thought about Flaca. Our pact for tomorrow night. And
then for some reason I started looking up into the cloudless sky, touching Mong’s tooth necklace and listening to the cricket sounds again. Thinking how weird it was to be alive to actually hear it. But not just alive like I was yesterday and the day before. Alive like I
knew
I was alive. Like I could feel the breaths coming into my chest. And I knew I was the person inside my own body.
August 2
Me and Rondell slept half the next day.
When we finally got up both of us had headaches from drinking, so we went straight to a cheap taco stand and ate dollar tacos and took turns sipping warm water from this hose they had outside, next to the curb where we were sitting. The whole time I was thinking how I could have a talk with Rondell about what happened the night before, but I never said anything.
After lunch we went and sat in the park watching these little kids playing with their parents. This one Mexican girl with a bow in her hair and patent-leather shoes was in the exact swing Flaca was in the night before. As I watched her smiling and swinging back and forth, butterflies went into my stomach. It made me think what might happen later on with my new girl.
By the way, just that alone was tripping me out, having a “girl.”
Flaca was my girl.
Yo, I’m gonna go chill with my girl.
Nah, I wasn’t at the party, dawg, I was layin’ low with my girl.
I’m telling you now, that dude better not step to my girl.
Wait, you never seen my girl? Hang on, I got a picture in my wallet.
Finally, after I was daydreaming for like an hour, I turned to Rondell and told him how he should try not to do that anymore, fight random people for barely no reason.
“Wha’chu mean?” he said.
“You scared the shit out of the girls,” I told him. “And what if the cops would’ve come? And who knows how bad them dudes were hurt, right? They probably ended up in the hospital. We got enough problems as it is, right?”
Rondell looked at me, then he turned his eyes to the ground.
“It couldn’t have been that bad is all I’m sayin’. You could defend yourself, I’m not sayin’ that, but you don’t gotta keep going after the person after they’re already on the ground. The shit just ain’t worth it.”
Rondell didn’t say anything.
“Not when they could take us back to Juvi, man. Or not even. This time we’d probably go to
real
prison.”
He nodded his head some.
“And you got this look in your eyes, man.” I smacked him on the arm so he’d look at my impersonation of the psycho look on his face. “It wasn’t my boy Rondo anymore, it was someone else. Trust me, man, nothin’ is worth losing yourself like that. You gotta keep your shit centered.”
Rondell looked down at the ground again.
I felt like I was his counselor all of a sudden. Like I was Jaden and he was me. Plus I really meant it, though. I didn’t want him to need to be in prison. He should be able to have a normal life too.
“So you get what I mean, then?” I told him. “You ain’t gonna fight no more?”
Rondell looked up at me and shrugged. “I can’t let nobody say nothin’ ’bout you like that.”
I looked back at him, trying to think what that meant. “What’re you talkin’ about,” I said.
Rondell shook his head. “The white one, he said you was a punk and he would take your girl. I told for him to better take it back, but he wouldn’t, so I knocked him down.”
I turned away from Rondell. It hit me right then how he had my back more than anybody besides Diego. Even after all the shit I’d given him, right to his face. Telling him he couldn’t read and making fun of him looking at the Bible and how he thought I was gonna leave him after what happened to Mong. Still. Rondell had my back. He wouldn’t even let people
say
something about me.
I didn’t know what to think or say about that, so I just sat there nodding, went back to watching the kids playing in the park.
After a good ten minutes I cleared my throat and said: “Still, man. You can’t just be fighting over that. Maybe you just have to put it out of your mind. Even if they’re talking about me.”
Rondell didn’t say anything back, but when I snuck a peek out of the corner of my eye I saw he was shaking his head, like he couldn’t.
Getting Ready for Flaca:
First thing I did when it came close to when I was gonna meet Flaca was set Rondell up in an all-night coffee shop with enough cash to eat twice. I’d pulled two twenties and a ten from the petty cash for the party and both Jacksons were still in my pocket. I gave him one and put his Bible on the table and told him not to roll back to the field until after two in the morning. Told him he had the close dugout, and me and Flaca would take the far one.
He nodded at everything I said, but when I was getting ready to be out he got this big goofy smile on his face.
“What’s so funny?” I asked him.
He shook his head and laughed at me.
“Come on, Rondo.”
“What?”
“Why you gigglin’ like a girl?”
“Nah, I just never seen you like this, Mexico.”
“Like what?” I said.
“All happy.”
“You’re crazy, man.” I waved him off and turned to watch some couple get seated in the booth across from us. What the hell did Rondell know about someone being happy? The girl handed the guy a shopping bag and they both picked up their menus. An old guy in the booth next to them was doing a crossword puzzle.
Rondell pulled his Bible toward him, said: “I could tell by people’s faces, Mexico. When they’re happy. Your face never been like this ever since I met you.”
“I’m as happy as I always am,” I shot back. “Ain’t no different than any other day.”
He just shook his head, still smiling ear to ear.
I repeated my rules: “Not till after two, all right, man? The close dugout.”
He put a fist to his mouth, cracked up some, and I left the diner.
Second thing I did was hit this community pool me and Rondell stumbled across earlier, on our way back from getting something to eat. The gate was chained like I figured, so I had to scale over the tall fence. I dropped down on the other side, looked all over to make sure I was the only one around, then
stripped off all my gear. I unwrapped the bar of soap I’d picked up at a liquor store, and eased into the water on the shallow end, but it was way colder than I expected. When the water got up to my stuff, man, I almost couldn’t do it. Everything shriveled up and begged me not to go in even one more inch. I looked down between my legs and said: “Sorry, yo, but we gotta do this. Now, come on, man, on three.” I held on to my whole situation, gritted my teeth, counting, and then dove my ass under the water. When I came up I shouted “Goddamn!” Then I soaped my entire body, head to toe, and rinsed off by swimming around for a couple laps.
And I’m not gonna lie, man, when I grabbed onto the side after rinsing off I thought how weird it was to be skinny-dipping solo. What kind of schizo does
that
shit, right? But at the same time, it was mad cool too. I didn’t have to think about impressing nobody. Plus how many people get the chance to have an entire pool all to themselves?