We Take this Man (17 page)

After the baby shower/bridal shower was over, I staggered to the car. We both were laughing about all the ghettoness that transpired in that house.

“I’m just glad I got a good man,” Danny said as she unlocked the car door.
And you know that’s wrong
, I thought. She was delusional, too; her man wasn’t shit, either. I didn’t even bother to comment. Uh-huh, your man is good, too! Whatever. I was just so happy I didn’t have to drive home so I could sleep my alcohol off. I giggled until I nodded off.

Danny tapped my shoulder once we were in front of my door. I felt as if I had been asleep forever, but it had been only twenty minutes.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, girl, thanks for asking me to go. I haven’t laughed that hard in years.”

“You’re welcome, but listen, call my brother. I don’t want to lose you as my sister-in-law.”

“I’ll think about it, Danny,” I said as I unlocked my door and waved good-bye. I came in and flopped on my sofa. It had been a long time since I was all by myself. The silence was scary. I felt so alone. I don’t know what came over me. I guess being a little tipsy had a lot to do with it, but I realized that my house was empty. Not only physically empty but really empty. I no longer had a family. I started asking myself the same questions I had been asking for months: Was I crazy for letting my husband move to another town alone? Was I being too stubborn? Was I bluffing and he called my bluff? I looked over at my alarm clock; it was three a.m.
I should call him and try to talk to him
, I thought, but I didn’t want him to hear desperation in my voice. I’ll call him in the morning when I have a clear head.

CHAPTER 22

Alicia

G
od knows what you can bear. Dwight always claims he is proactive instead of reactive. Although it wasn’t intentional, my job change was definitely proactive. There is no way I could have worked this far into the pregnancy otherwise. My feet had started to swell and I felt wiped out at all times. My new job was laid back. There were no surprises. For the first time in five years, I actually had a forty-hour workweek. I was even able to work out up until a month ago, when I was told I had a slight case of toxemia. I argued with the doctor. What did I do wrong that would cause me to have high blood pressure? I ate right. I exercised. I wasn’t stressed. Turns out that my pregnancy-induced addiction to V8 may have been a factor. He explained that a cup a day was fine, but I’d been drinking two liters. That was too much sodium for anyone. So I had to be extremely diet-conscious to protect the little guy growing inside of me.

Dwight had taken a couple of days off of work so we could pack up my condo. He’d surprised me and put a contract on a five-bedroom home in Hanover. It was a little farther from my mother than I preferred, but it was cool. I had a property manager screening possible tenants for my place. It looked like there wouldn’t be a long lapse in occupancy. After we moved out, I was going to have it professionally cleaned, and the tenants could move right in.

My mother had been the one attending all my doctor’s appointments with me, but since Dwight was off, he decided to go with me to my thirty-third-week appointment. We planned to shop for furniture when we left and schedule delivery for all the major appliances.

Dwight massaged my neck while we sat in the waiting area. I was so at peace and in my own world that I hadn’t noticed a young lady sitting across from me. She was pregnant, too, but she looked lonely. She wasn’t wearing a ring. There was a melancholy vibe surrounding her. Watching her made me appreciate Dwight more. I reached up and pulled his arm away. He frowned. He didn’t understand what was wrong, but I didn’t want us to make her feel bad.

When it was time for me to go back, the nurse sent me in for a urine sample. I handed her the sample when I came from the bathroom and she told me to get on the scale. Her neck snapped back. She flipped through the chart. “Mrs. Wilson, you’ve gained more weight than we like to see you gain since your last visit.”

We followed her into the exam room. “How’s your diet?” she asked.

Dwight answered, “She’s been really good with her diet.”

I said, “Well, I stopped working out.”

“That shouldn’t matter.”

I’d definitely been feeling like a fat slob and I attributed it to my lack of activity. She wrapped the blood pressure band around my arm and tightened it. When it released, her eyes popped out. She scribbled it down and said, “Your pressure is really high. Dr. Griffin will be with you in a minute.”

She whisked out of the room. My heart drummed. “I don’t understand. I’ve been doing everything right.”

Dwight held my hand. “You just never know what causes stuff like this.”

I wanted to ask if his ex-wife ever experienced this. Instead, I said, “When did you last speak with Tracey?”

He frowned and shook his head. He obviously didn’t want to discuss it, but it had been bothering me. I wondered if she knew he was remarried. I wondered if she knew we had a baby on the way. I wondered if she knew that we were buying a new home. And just possible, all the wondering could have brought on the stress-induced hypertension. I couldn’t think of any other reason.

The doctor came in and explained that I had high levels of protein in my urine and I was in jeopardy of a stroke. I literally almost had one just hearing those words. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? He instructed me to immediately check in to the hospital.

We went straight to the maternity ward. They put me in a room and laid me on my side, hoping that would lower my pressure. Dwight stroked my back as I tried to calm down. He called my mother and I could hear her. She was hysterical. I told him to call my friends, but he didn’t think it was a good idea. He thought they’d excite me.

They decided to keep me there, on bed rest, indefinitely. I asked the nurse, “Are you telling me I’m going to be here for the next five weeks?”

“We hope so.”

“You hope so?”

“Yeah, we do our best to delay delivery until about thirty-eight weeks. Sometimes we’re successful. Sometimes we’re not.”

Hell, success to me is getting out of here. I’ll die lying in bed for the next five weeks. “So I can’t do anything?”

“Not if you want to deliver a healthy baby.”

I huffed. “What about going to the bathroom?”

She held up a bedpan and tapped Dwight. “Mr. Wilson, you’ll have to make sure your wife goes in here.”

My mouth hung open. “What about number two?”

She raised her eyebrow, confirming that I was to use the damn bedpan for that, too. This was disgusting. I wanted my mother to hurry. Damn if I wanted my man holding a pan under my ass while I shit. This is completely unacceptable. I was determined to hold everything until my mother arrived.

Six hours later, Dwight, my mother, and I had discussed every current event, every conceivable topic, watched a bunch of reality shows, and I wanted to get out of bed. I was tired of talking to them, so I called Gina. While I chatted on the phone, Dwight and my mother had come up with an overnight schedule. She’d stay over during the middle of the week and Dwight would stay from Thursday to Sunday. I was already depressed. Dwight knew it, so he tried not to leave my side for the next two days.

The only time he left was to go to settlement. Ironically, the doctor came in to do the normal check. This time of course, my pressure had skyrocketed and there was still too much protein in my urine. He told my mother to call and let Dwight know they were going to do an emergency C-section. Dwight Wilson Jr. was coming five weeks before expected. I was emotional, because I’d yet to get furniture for the new house. I didn’t have enough clothes for the baby. I was so preoccupied with what I didn’t have that I couldn’t focus on what I was having. A baby was coming out of me and coming fast.

I was so concerned that Dwight wouldn’t make it to the hospital that I think I stressed the baby more. Just when the doctor said they couldn’t wait any longer, Dwight rushed into the room. By the time they put scrub tops and masks on my mother and Dwight, I was feeling no pain. Dwight rubbed my arm. I’m not certain if it was his touch sedating me but I felt as if I were floating. Everyone in the room was a blur. I heard people talking, but mainly I heard his voice and I could see his smile. I read his lips.

“He’s a big boy.”

A big boy? Is he here? Shouldn’t I feel something? I didn’t feel anything. But I finally heard my son cry. Dwight rubbed my hair and kissed my forehead. “You were great.”

It was like I wanted to ask questions, but I didn’t have the motor skills. I wanted to go back to sleep, but I had to see my baby. My eyes rolled and I fought to stay awake, but I lost the battle. Seemingly hours later, I woke up alone in a room in severe pain. Where did everyone go? Help me!

There was a button in my hand and I pressed it. I needed a nurse to come help me, but Nurse Nasty stormed in yelling at me, “Stop pressing the pain medicine. It’s only gonna dispense a certain amount every hour. No matter how many times you press it.”

Damn lady, do you really have to talk to sick people like that? I didn’t have the energy to tell this hooker that all I wanted was someone to help me find my family. Hell with the damn pain medication! She obviously understood my slurring, because shortly after, my mother and Dwight entered the room.

I said, “Where’s the baby?”

Dwight smiled and kissed me. “He’s in the nursery making those other boys look bad.”

“Huh?”

“He’s a heavyweight. Seven pounds, four ounces.”

My mother chimed in, “Can you imagine how big he would have been if you’d gone full term?”

I felt cheated. Why hadn’t I seen him yet? My eyes shifted from Dwight to my mother as they explained what happened when he came out.
He has your eyes. He’s Dwight’s complexion. He smiled. It took a minute for him to cry
.

When the hell are they going to bring him in here? Dwight must have read the frustration on my face. He said, “I’m going to get him right now.”

“Thank you, Boo.”

He walked out, and my mother began to explain how wonderful he was in the delivery room. “He’s such a sweet guy. I hope you know how blessed you are.”

“I do.”

As I acknowledged my blessings, he returned with our baby. My eyes watered as I reached for DJ. “Can I hold him?”

Dwight cautiously laid him on my breast. I moaned and he lay peacefully. His eyes closed tightly like he was getting the best sleep in the world. I stroked him and Dwight stroked my hair. He looked so proud and it made me happy that I gave him what he wanted. He tugged on his little cap. “C’mon, man. Wake up for Mommy.”

I was just in awe of what we had created. Not to mention, I never thought I wanted this experience. I’d been a mother all of an hour and I was convinced that it was the best job a woman could have. This little boy had my heart and I wanted to give him the world.

My mother asked, “How do you feel?”

“I’m just . . .” I paused. “I’m just so happy.”

She said, “Me, too. I’m so glad you made me a grandmother.”

As we oohed and ahed, I suddenly recalled that we were in a transition. Where was I going when I left the hospital? I said, “Dwight, how did settlement go?”

“Good. I went for the inspection right before settlement, but I didn’t get a chance to go back.”

“When are you going to move everything in?”

He smirked. My mother laughed. “He said you’d be worried about that, but I told him you guys should stay with me for a couple of weeks. That way you won’t be tempted to get everything organized and I can be there to help you.”

“But . . .”

“There are no beds at the new house and the condo is all packed up. So we concluded it was the best decision.” I pouted and he continued, “So I’m going to take our clothes over there tonight.”

I nodded, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay in my old full-size bed and cram DJ’s bassinet in the tiny space with me. Just as they were telling me the plans they made for me, my nurse came in to ask if I planned to breast-feed. I looked at Dwight. It wasn’t my preference, but he demanded that I at least do it for three months. He said, “Yeah. She’s breast-feeding. Is anyone going to help her get started?”

“I read all the literature. I know what I’m doing,” I said. I wanted to be resistant just because. I needed to at least make one decision for myself.

Dwight smirked at the nurse and she smiled back. “Mr. Wilson. The midwife will be in momentarily to discuss everything.”

My mother said, “It’s helpful to have someone refresh your memory.”

I looked at her as if to say
how many kids have you had?
Shortly after, I got my lesson in lactation. We had to interrupt DJ’s nap, and attempt to get him to latch on, which he refused to do.

We tried and tried and I wanted to quit. My bossy husband insisted that all babies do that initially. The midwife looked impressed with his knowledge. She asked, “Do you have other kids or have you been studying?”

“Yeah, I have two girls. Four and seven.”

She looked at me and suddenly despite him being my husband, I felt slighted. She said, “This is your first, right?”

I nodded and glanced at my mother. She noticed my discomfort and moved closer to the bed. “You’ll get it, honey. Don’t get stressed.”

“I don’t think I’m the one that has to get it. DJ does.”

Everyone laughed, but suddenly the pain I felt wasn’t funny anymore. I looked around for the button that was taped to my hand. “I need medicine.”

I pushed the button and prayed that I hadn’t exceeded my fix for the hour. Just as I drugged myself, my mother let me know that the girls were on their way. I’d given birth to the first legitimate kid in the crew and this was a celebration.

When the girls arrived, I was so sedated that I barely participated in the conversation. Mainly, they talked to my mother and Dwight. I floated in and out. It had been way too long and I was ready to escape the confines of the hospital walls.

CHAPTER 23

Tracey

F
orty-eight hours later I was debating my next action, but it was obvious. Dwight had asked me to move and I said no and that was crazy. I don’t need anyone to tell me I was silly. I loved this house. But I can have another house. “Operation Bring Husband Home” is officially a failure. I am abandoning all plans. Fuck it, he had won. My white
flag was raised high and I was waving it. All that my husband was trying to do was take care of his family and I wanted to act stupid like a child. I am so damn foolish. I have to make things right. I have to go and get my man. If Dwight wanted me to move I would move. I picked up my phone to let him know enough is enough. I dialed his number; I couldn’t wait to hear his voice. But I didn’t get a chance to hear his voice, because his voice mail picked up. I need to see my man now. Something came over me, like this intense need to be with him. I was going to go to Maryland right now, this moment. I was going to book a plane ticket online and get on the earliest flight they have. I turned the lights on and grabbed my suitcase and began packing. When I went online I didn’t see any available flights. No flights being available didn’t deter me at all. I would just have to make that eleven-hour journey. The girls had school the next day, but it was the end of the school year. Jordan wouldn’t be missing anything anyway. I had to go up there and convince Dwight to come home. I had to do something. I just wanted to be where Dwight was, whether it was here in Jacksonville or in Maryland.