We Shouldn't and Yet... (7 page)

“Maybe y…’’ But his sentence never ends when his face lights up. I don’t need to turn around to know she’s walked in.

I stiffen in my chair, and I’m not talking about my shoulders. I’m thankful for the table and my sitting position because I don’t think my board shorts would hide much of what is going on in my crotch region.

“Hi!’’

Her cheerful voice sounds fake to me and one look at Hal lets me know that my gut feeling isn’t that far off. He seems confused and I’m starting to get nervous. More so than I should be considering that
nothing
happened.

I look over my shoulder as she walks in the kitchen and pours herself a cup of steaming coffee, a forced smile stretching widely on her lips. She’s already dressed in dark skinny jeans, a short-sleeved button down opened just enough to hint at her generous cleavage. She also has her purse shouldered.

“Ready for more visits?’’ I ask nonchalantly.

Her fake smile is now directed at me, but it’s obvious she’s a nervous wreck. I don’t know how I should take this.

“I hope to find something. There’s one place I think looks promising.’’

I nod and stand up, sidestepping Hal and Aideen to rinse my mug and put it in the drainer to dry. I’m fucking pussy footing around and I hate that. And mostly, I can’t take the thought of Hal making a move when I’m fighting off my own needs for this woman. I’m right in the middle of a gigantic mess and I don’t know how to get out of it. I don’t even know if I really want out.

“Don’t take the first thing mildly acceptable because you just want to find something,’’ Hal says seriously, his voice dripping desperation. For his own sake I’m real close to pinning him with a glare to calm him down. He’s being way too obvious when it comes to her. Now, if he wants her to open her eyes to his feelings for her, then he’s playing his cards right but I’m not sure this way will win her over. She seems way too on her guard for it.

I can’t believe I’m both rooting for him and crossing my fingers that he’s going to fail. I knew being a father would be messy, but I never thought it’d be this kind of mess. I grit my teeth, take another deep breath and face them.
I can’t fuck this up.

Aideen’s eyes are already on me, but she quickly looks away. Her cheeks have a light pink hue that makes my dick stir. Just because she’s moderately flustered. I’m dead. How can I not make another move when she’s being so…cute and sexy? It’s a deadly combo.

“I need to go, and for your information, Hal, I want my living arrangement settled before I start on Monday. It’s already Saturday. I have to focus on my job and not on anything else.’’

“As if we wouldn’t help you find an apartment,’’ I mutter to myself under my breath.

My son shakes his head and watches her leave, his eyes briefly falling on her pert heart-shaped ass before he blushes and looks back at me. I want to deck him for letting his eyes wander like this and in turn I want to knock some sense in my damn head at the thought. Aideen isn’t my girl. She is supposed to be nothing more to me than my son’s friend.

She waves over her shoulder and we’re back to the two of us, single males, father and son attracted to the same woman. It would make a perfect plot for a TV show. The mess would last for a whole season of entertainment.

“Don’t you think she’s acting weird?’’

I feel my eyes widening for an agonizing second before I find my composure again. I close one of my hands into a tight fist and shrug. “Don’t know her enough to tell. Why?’’

“I’m not sure.’’ He frowns and heads back upstairs to get ready for his volunteer work at the rec center.

I let my head hang between my shoulders, eyes downcast and chest tight. I can’t just act like this obsessed fucker. I don’t want to hurt the son I’m just starting to know. He knows her too well to not pick on what I’m doing to mess with her. And honestly, she’s probably not interested in an older man like me. There are too many things preventing her from actually wanting me. Also, it’s obvious she’s the relationship kind and I’m not. She deserves my son, not his messed up father.

I grab my phone from the counter and quickly type a text and hit send before I change my mind again.

See you tonight after work? Your place. - J

Another weight settles on my already heavy shoulders as I walk back upstairs to get dressed for my security job at the mall. By tonight I need to be in the mood for Cassie. Maybe I just need to get laid to push away Aideen from my dirty thoughts.

***

AIDEEN

“This one is perfect.’’ I feel the first real smile creep on my face today. I look around the simply furnished one bedroom apartment with big windows and a view of the little market on the other side of the street. “How come such a nice place is available? It’s a steal.’’ Which should maybe raise red flags.

The realtor’s smile becomes wider, stretching her ruby lips. Her brown eyes sparkle more brightly behind her fashionably challenged glasses. “The previous tenant vacated the place suddenly due to a job offer in another city. I assume you want it then?’’

I nod and excitement fills me. Not only is the furniture not outdated, but it brings a homey feel to the small apartment. It’s situated in a nice enough neighborhood, pretty close to the resort I’m going to be working at and the small building is only inhabited by older people. That means no crazy parties at all hours. This is a real improvement from college life.

“I just hope my application is going to be accepted.’’

“I wouldn’t worry.’’ She walks to the narrow counter of the open floor kitchen and puts down the paperwork I need to fill out. “My cousin is the landlord and needs the money. It’s a done deal.’’

I bring both hands to my mouth, fighting off the urge to actually hug her. “Really?’’

She nods and gives me a pen. I snatch it and diligently fill out the forms with a shaky hand. I am finally an adult with responsibilities like everybody else. I’m going to be living on my own, starting my first post-college job and that feels good. My life is starting to look up.

I finish signing and writing what is required and finally hand back the papers. The realtor checks everything quickly and takes the check I’m handing her for the deposit and the first month of rent. She puts everything away in her briefcase and then, dangling from her fingers is my keys.

“These are yours now.’’

I take them and thank her, walking her back to the door of what is now mine. Once the door is closed behind her, I let my joy explode in a girlish squeal and a few shakes of my ass and boobs.

For the first time in over a year, maybe even more, I’m full of excitement and, dare I say, happiness. I know I have a lot to do to personalize this place and actually make it feel like home, but I’m just happy that I can finally be completely independent. And, if I’m honest, it’s a relief to be out of Jensen’s house after what happened last night. Not exactly because of his behavior, but it has more to do with what I did in my room afterward. For the first time in forever, or so it feels like, I got myself off thinking of a man, someone I basically don’t know. Someone other than Yann.

I shake my head, chasing away any and all negative thoughts already quickly dampening my good mood. Now is not the time for that stuff. I must celebrate my new place. I check my phone for the time and smile again. It’s not even noon yet, and I already have everything done. I grab my purse from the kitchen counter and leave the apartment, keys tingling in my hand.

With lighter steps, I go back to my car and drive to the only place here I know they serve good beer. In fact, it’s the only place I know period. The bar where I met a very drunk Jensen yesterday. Five minutes tops later, I’m parked and pushing open the door of the bar.

The same huge man is behind the bar. Quentin, is it? I walk to him and when he sees me and recognizes me, an amused smile graces his lips. “Aideen, right?’’

I nod and sit at the first stool I find, one stool over from a sniveling lady in her late thirties. I eye her discreetly until Quentin shakes his head and leans over the bar. “Don’t mind her. She caught her husband screwing another woman. It’s only the fifth time this year and she’s still with the idiot.’’

I wrinkle my nose and shake my head. “The pig.’’ I can’t believe how some men are. If they’re not happy with their other half, they should man up and say so instead of deceiving them countless times. Also, that woman should have more self-esteem and leave the man. But what do I know? I’m just twenty-two and single. “Can I have a beer on tap?’’

He nods and promptly serves me. He keeps his hands on the bar, eyes trained on my face. I take a sip of the beer and arch an eyebrow at him as the cold liquid goes down. It’s true that there’s not many people in here, but it’s still pretty unnerving to have the full attention of a stranger. More so when it’s so blatant.

“What?’’

He chuckles and straightens up. “I was just wondering how J was yesterday when you drove him home. He’s a challenging fucker.’’

My grip tightens around the tall glass full of beer, my fingers sliding a bit over the cold surface. “He’s…a complex man, I guess.’’

Quentin chuckles and shakes his head, handing me a menu. “You can say that, honey. Pick whatever you want to eat, it’s on the house.’’

“But—‘’

“It’s my way of thanking you for handling him when I couldn’t leave the bar unattended.’’ He winks and walks to the opposite side of the bar to a couple waiting to place their order.

I quickly make my choice—a good ol’ burger and some french fries—and check my Facebook account with my phone. It’s been a while since I’ve last tried to keep in touch with some college friends and it looks like we’re all in another stage of life. I know I won’t see most of them before a ten year reunion if there’s one and a wave of nostalgia hits me.

“Here you go. Let me know if you need anything else.’’ Quentin says, offering me a rueful smile, wiping down the already sparkling bar.

“Actually, I have a question.’’

He cringes and puts the rag on one of his broad shoulders. “Don’t ask me about Jensen.’’

“Why’s that?’’ I take another sip of beer, trying to quench my nerves at just the mention of him.

“Because whatever you want to know is his story to tell. We go way back and even though I give him hell, he’s like a brother. I’m not going to betray his trust that easily.’’

“I get it. I’m just…’’ I trail off, and shrug, unsure how to finish my sentence. My mind is in a scramble.

“You’re curious. It’s normal. Hal is too.’’

I nibble on a couple of crispy french fries, my eyes still on the man in front of me, staying busy behind the bar. “Is he always so intense with people?’’ I blurt out.

He stops mid-drying a tumbler and tilts his head to one side, his eyes serious and yet there’s also a little something, mischievousness maybe, sparkling. “It depends. Usually, he’s very intense with women.’’

I snort and go back to my plate. Yeah, I don’t think I want to know much more than that. I can already picture the kind of women he’s after and what he’s in for. I can’t compete with that having had only one serious boyfriend and the way things ended left me too scarred for much more than friendship. This weird attraction to this man is foreign for me and I’m sure it’s going to blow out soon enough. No need to get flustered when thinking of him. I wriggle on the stool, take another bite of the huge burger and push back all thoughts of him. I’m trying to, at least.

***

JENSEN

I walk in Q’s bar and immediately, before my eyes get accustomed to the dimmer lighting in here, I see Aideen. She’s at the bar, eating and sipping a beer while peeking at her phone every few bites. Instantly, my cock hardens and I get mad. A few minutes earlier, I received a text from Cassie, a graphic and dirty text, and my cock behaved. There hadn’t been a slightest twitch in my pants, but now watching this young woman eating a burger and fries with her fingers and I’m rock hard. Maybe I should go back to seeing a counselor at the vet center. There’s something wrong with me. I mean, something more wrong than I already know.

“Hey, fucker, are you going to stand there all afternoon?’’ Q’s voice booms in the relatively quiet bar.

“Shut up.’’ I walk to the bar, conscious of Aideen’s eyes now on me. I take the stool next to hers and give her a nod. “Give me a burger. I’m starved.’’

“Long morning?’’

I nod and absentmindedly touch my cheek bone. I cringe when it’s obvious that there’s going to be a bruise. The skin is tender with the lightest touch. “Some idiot punk tried to steal a video game.’’

“You work in security?’’ Aideen asks softly, her eyes on my cheek bone, a soft frown on her pretty face. She looks too darn cute for her own good.

I swallow thickly as Q puts a tall glass of homemade lemonade—his wife isn’t the best cook which explains why she doesn’t work with him, but she makes a mean lemonade—and I take an endless sip. “Yes, at the mall. I also give a few self-defense classes at the fitness center close to the library.’’

“That’s great.’’

“What, you thought I was just a drunk who doesn’t know what to do with himself?’’ My voice sounds snappier than intended, but I can’t help the annoyance I feel whenever someone is surprised that I’m not just some lowlife. And coming from her, it stings even more.