We Shall Rise (35 page)

As Christian turned the doorknob, Reysa spoke, “Your love for me is the one thing in my life I’ve never had to doubt. Thank you, Chris. I know how you feel about Kaden so for you to say those words, you must really mean it even though it must have been a bit painful for you.”

“Very painful, love. My stomach is so distraught that I am going to go vomit my lunch now.”

“Yuck!” Reysa yelled as she splashed bubbles at him. Christian laughed as he left the room closing the door firmly behind him. Well, he had done it. He hoped he didn’t live to regret those words.

Lucian was waiting for him in the living room. “How did it go?” Lucian and Olivia had pleaded with Christian to talk to Reysa about Kaden. If anyone could help soften her anger and help her see this situation in a gentler light, it was Christian. She trusted no one as much as she did him.

“I did the best I could to help her see this from his perspective even though I struggle to see it. It wasn’t easy trying to convince her of something I barely believe. In the end, I think she was open to the possibility that Kaden wasn’t a complete ass although my gut tells me he’s just that. I’m trusting you to prove me wrong Lucian. I hope that’s not a mistake.”

Christian had been very reluctant to help. His own rage intensified by Reysa’s pain. Lucian was able to convince him that Reysa’s heart would only truly ever heal when united with her mate.

Lucian and Olivia had explained to Christian their 175 years of agony from forced separation. Their story penetrated the walls of Christian’s ire. He couldn’t allow Reysa to suffer like that. Even if that meant he had to accept the man he wanted to destroy. He had to do this for Reysa. It wasn’t about him. It was about doing what was best for her and he prayed to the gods that Lucian and Olivia were right. If not, he would never be able to forgive himself.

“I am taking your word that Kaden will do the right thing by her. Don’t make me regret helping the bastard. I promise you this, Lucian, I will destroy him before I let him hurt her again.”

II

Kaden stood outside the gate of Diamonde’s house. This place brought back unpleasant memories. He thought about skipping the party and waiting for Reysa at her house, but he knew he needed to be here for Tatiana. If he had any chance to regain Reysa’s love and trust, he had to put his own fears aside and be there for her and her child. Hopefully one day, she would give him a chance to be there for their child as well.

He pressed the intercom and heard that familiar voice of the Irish dwarf, Grotaon. “What do you want?” Grotaon demanded.

Kaden knew this would not be easy and that was mostly his fault. He had been rude to Grotaon so he had no right to expect anything but a hard time. “I’m here for Tatiana’s birthday party.”

“You’re not on the guest list, so go away.” Grotaon disconnected leaving Kaden standing out there pondering his next option.

He rang the intercom repeatedly. Eventually, Grotaon reappeared. “
Póg mo thóin!
Kiss my arse,” Grotaon yelled. “I told you no invite, no entry. Do I have to send Fi-Fi out there to help you get the message?”

Little shit, Kaden grumbled under his breath. He needed another option. He whipped out his cell phone and called Lucian, but no answer. He tried his mother, but no answer as well. Same with Corinne. Getting desperate, he dialed Julian.

“I need your help, Jules.” To his surprise, Julian appeared at the gate moments later. “Hey little brother. Grotaon won’t let me in, but I was hoping you could help me. I need to see Reysa and I have a present for Tatiana.”

Julian shook his head astonished that Kaden would ask him of all people for help. “Why would I help you? You left without a word. You’ve been gone for weeks. You hurt Reysa as I knew you would and now you’ve come back to hurt her some more. I won’t let you. She’s better off with you gone and so is that child she’s carrying. Neither need you.”

“I need them, Jules. I know that now. I messed up, but all I want is a chance to fix things.” Kaden took a step back from the gate. Those iron bars blocking him from everything he wanted and he didn’t know how to get through them. Happiness was behind those bars and yet he was shut out. There were always barriers to what he wanted, and usually he would just give up, but he couldn’t this time. This was too important. He had to find a way through.

“Julian, please. I know you have every reason to leave me out here to rot. I couldn’t blame you, but I’m still asking for your help. There was a time before I earned your hate when I still had your love. If there is any part of you that cares even just a little for me, help me now. Please, brother. Don’t abandon me the way I abandoned you.”

He had abandoned him so many times. Julian had no reason to help him. He had ruined Julian’s relationship with Helena. It may have been a lie built on a foundation of manipulation and deceit, but Kaden was the one who toppled the fairytale Julian craved. Kaden ruined his happiness and now he was standing here begging his brother to help him find his. “I have no right to ask this of you,” Kaden realized. “For once in my miserable life, I want to do the right thing. I want to be there for Reysa and our baby. Help me do the right thing, Julian. I know you still hate me. I can’t take back what I’ve done to you, even though I would willingly accept a lifetime of despair in exchange for your happiness. You probably can’t believe that and I understand. Regardless of whether you open this gate or not, it’s true. I’m sorry Julian. It’s not enough, but it’s the truth.”

Julian could see the desperation in Kaden’s eyes. Part of him wanted to leave him standing there looking miserable, but he also knew that Reysa was looking just as lost. Kaden was probably the only person who could take that pain from her. Julian hated that fact. He wanted better for her, but it was not for him to decide. Reysa belonged to Kaden and he belonged to her. There was no denying the bond they shared.

Kaden turned to leave when Julian spoke. “You’re right. It’s not enough.” Julian ran his fingers through his hair as he searched for the words he needed to say. “Do you remember when I was thirteen and I snuck out the house with our father’s favorite stallion. Dad found out of course, but he didn’t punish me. He punished you for not watching me. I begged him not to hurt you because of me, but he didn’t listen. He locked you away in the family dungeons for days.”

Kaden remembered well that painful time. He had no food, no blood. Just complete solitary darkness for what felt like an eternity. He was chained to a wall in that incredibly cold and empty pit. His only companions were the rats nipping at his weakened body. “Something changed in me then,” Kaden admitted. “A darkness corrupted by soul. The love I felt for you turned into….”

“Hate,” Julian spoke the words Kaden would not say. “Yes, you hated me. You blamed me and I blamed myself even more. I tried to make it up to you. I apologized profusely. I brought you food that you rejected. I spent every day begging our father to free you until he finally gave in and let you go. I was so happy that you were safe, but you still hated me. I knew you were going to make me suffer and you did Kaden. The first thing you did when you got out was burn the cabin you had built for me. You destroyed the one thing that had meant the most to me. The thing that you had built for me out of love, you torched out of hate. I remember the look of pleasure on your face as I cried while watching the cabin burn in a glorious fire. I’ve watched that same look on your face year after year as you’ve ripped my world apart. You always apologize, but you never stop making me pay for our father’s crimes. Part of you will always blame me for what he’s done. To some extent I understand. You can’t help but hate me even though part of you may actually want to love me. I get it brother, but I can’t let you punish me forever. And I’m not going to punish myself any longer by allowing you to seek revenge at my expense.”

“Jules, I never intended to hurt you because of him, but that’s exactly what I’ve done. I wish I could make you see how sorry I am.”

“Sorry? It’s just a meaningless, empty word. It doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t erase the pain of the past. It’s just a word you use to excuse the damage you’ve done, yet as soon as I accept those worthless words from you, you will do something else to torment me and then hide behind another ‘I’m sorry.’ I’m done with ‘I’m sorry.’ I can’t forgive you.”

“Jules I know I deserve your hate…”

“I don’t hate you brother,” Julian interrupted. “I’ve spent the last five years trying to hate you, but I can’t. I also can’t be your whipping boy anymore. I need to get my life together and I need to be free of you in order to do it. I will help you now, but this is the last time. After today, you and I are done.”

“Why help me now?” Kaden asked. He knew he should just be grateful that Julian was willing to help, but he hated the permanence in Julian’s voice as he uttered those words of goodbye.

“Consider this my parting gift to you. In exchange, I ask that you respect me and my wishes for once and stay away. You owe me that much. Just leave me be. Our paths will cross inevitably, but that doesn’t mean you need to be in my life again. I need to be free of you, Kaden because that’s the only way I’ll begin to live. Let me live, brother. After 164 years, I deserve to live.”

Kaden agreed, but not because Julian offered him safe passage through the gate. He owed it to Julian to respect his wishes and stay away even though the very thought tore him to pieces. He couldn’t imagine a life without Julian, but he had to accept what Julian wanted. For most of their lives, he ignored Julian’s wishes in favor of his own selfish needs. He wouldn’t repeat that error this time. He would put Julian first.

Kaden waited for Julian who returned with Yasmine. She typed in a key code to open the gate.

Yasmine escorted them to the backyard, telling Kaden about the party and Diamonde’s ballerina costume designed to look like the sugar plum fairy in the
Nutcracker
.

Kaden hardly heard her words. His mind could not let go of the conversation he just had with his brother. The finality of those words replaying in his mind. He would give Julian the space he needed, but they would always be brothers. He couldn’t allow their relationship to end. He had to believe it could be saved. That Julian would give him another chance.

They reached the backyard and Kaden stepped into a terrorizing sea of pink and white. Diamonde had turned her backyard into Barbie’s playhouse. His eyes immediately searched for Reysa, but he could barely see beyond the wall of pink balloons and streamers. He knew she was there. He could feel her presence. His body stirred at the thought of reconnecting with hers. It had only been a few weeks since they parted, but it felt like it had been years. He thirsted for her. Her unique taste that satisfied his every hunger. No other could incite such need in him. He had to find her and beg her to take him back. There was no future for him without her. She was his lifeblood. He would spend the rest of his days trying to convince her to give him another chance, to prove he could be worthy of her.

The pink haze lifted just enough to allow Kaden to see about thirty immortals of varying races dancing including Tatiana. She was dressed in a blue Cinderella princess gown with a diamond encrusted tiara. Her silver eyes glimmering in delight as Christian swung her around the dance floor.

Kaden watched them wondering what it would be like to hold his own child in a similar way. Would he or she squeal in delight and cling to him the way Tatiana held onto her father. Kaden had never imagined himself as a father, but lately he could think of nothing else. To his surprise, the thoughts of the child did not stir a feeling of unwelcomed dread but filled him with a sense of pleasure and anticipation that shocked him. He may not ever be the father that Christian clearly is, but he wanted to learn how to be a good one. He would do whatever it takes to ensure that his child grew up with the love his father had deprived of him.

Tatiana spotted Kaden. Her eyes widened as she squealed her pleasure at the latest guest to her party. She rapidly signed something to Christian who turned around to face Kaden. If looks could kill, Christian’s golden eyes would have been a stake to Kaden’s heart. He understood the wolf’s wrath. He deserved it, but despite Christian’s anger, he helped Kaden.

Kaden knew that Christian was the only person who could possibly soften Reysa’s resolve just enough to give him half a chance to convince her to forgive him. Lucian told him that Christian, albeit reluctantly, agreed to talk to Reysa on his behalf helping her to understand his poor initial reaction to the news of their child. Christian must have succeeded to some extent because for the last week, Reysa no longer cursed his name. Lucian cautioned Kaden that Reysa’s anger and hurt were still there, but it had abated somewhat to a manageable point where she might finally be willing to hear him. To even get to that point, Kaden owed Christian his life. Christian provided him a chance at happiness and for that gift alone he would be forever indebted to him.

Tatiana raced over to Kaden and leapt into his arms. He was half expecting her to hate him as well, but she welcomed him with open arms. Kaden knew Reysa probably shielded her from the truth of his disappearance. It didn’t matter. Her excitement eased his anxiety. He was relieved that at least one person at this party was glad to see him.

Tatiana pulled away freeing her hands so she could talk to him.
I didn’t think you were going to come to my party. Mommy said you were busy and that you couldn’t get away.