Authors: Ed Lin
In March, we jacked the room rates back up and the old men moved out to God knew where. I watched them pack their beat-up suitcases into the backs of their beat-up cars. They handed in their room keys at the ofï¬ce, standing and talking to my mother as she endured one last conversation with each of them.
I walked into the ofï¬ce and I saw her kiss Frank over the counter. It bothered the hell out of me, seeing her kiss this sprout of white hair and wrinkles. She and my father never kissed.
“Sorry to see you go, Frank,” I said sarcastically.
“Jerk kid!”
“Frank's going to Los Angeles,” my mother said.
“Hope you die on the way,” I muttered as Frank limped out the door.
“Why did you kiss him!” I shouted as soon as he'd gone. My mother looked stunned, taken aback by her son yelling at her.
“He has cancer!” she said. “He lift his neck and show me all tumors on his throat. It look disgusting!”
“But why did you kiss him!” I yelled again. My anger surprised me. This time, she frowned and waved her hand at me.
“Don't bother me! I work hard all day! Who buys clothes for you? Who buys food for you? You owe me everything! You stupid!” At that moment, I thought about my father. Where was he? In the workshop? Under the hotel?
I found him sitting on the steps at the entrance to the crawlspace. His left hand was wrapped in a wet towel.
“What happened?” I asked him.
“I thought pipe was cooled down, but it wasn't.” He unwrapped the towel and showed me an angry red slash across his palm.
He shook his head and wrapped his hand up again.
“You know, ah, I just saw mom kiss a customer. In the ofï¬ce.”
“That's part of business. Doesn't matter to me. Down here is where man's job is. I have to replace plumbing circuit. I have to replace all electrical wires. Then all ï¬oors have to be replaced.”
“All of them?”
“All.” He thought for a minute. “When you get older and help ï¬x more things, it will be better.”
For homework that night, I had to write a creative essay on how spring was coming in, like a lamb or like a lion. I said it was coming in like a lion because people were getting meaner.
At about 10 p.m., Lee Anderson called the hotel to talk to me. We only had that one phone line, and my parents were concerned about potential business lost, so they listened in on all my conversations with extreme scrutiny. There was no privacy in the living quarters and the phone cord only stretched from the end of the couch to behind the ofï¬ce desk.
“Tell me you love me,” Lee said. She was talking on the extension in her own room. My parents would never understand paying for more than one phone per family.
“I love you,” I mumbled quickly.
“You're only saying that because I told you to.”
“No, I'm not.”
“Do you always have to work on the weekend?”
“I have to work here every day. Weekends are the worst.”
“I can come over there. My brother can drop me off.”
“Hey, I gave you a chance. My parents are almost always here.”
“So what?”
“We can't do anything.”
“We can just hang out or something.”
“There's nothing to do here.”
“We could go see a movie. I want to see âPsycho 2.'”
“I can't go anywhere. I have to help out here.”
“Just for a few hours.”
“I can't. I just can't.”
“Are you ashamed of me or something? Am I not good enough for you?” she asked.
“It's my parents,” I said, curling my entire body around the receiver to mufï¬e as much sound as possible. “They're weird about some things⦔
“They want you to have a Chinese girlfriend, right?”
“They don't want me to have any girlfriend at all. Not until college.”
“That's weird.”
“I know, they're really weird people.”
“So you should tell them you love me.”
“I don't even love them.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really. That sound funny to you?”
“Yeah, it does. But I'm sure they love you.”
“Lee, Chinese people don't care about anybody else.”
“You only want to fuck me.”
“That's not true.”
“All these older boys try to pick me up after school, but I tell them I have a boyfriend.”
“Well, if I'm your boyfriend, shouldn't you fuck me?”
“You're not being very romantic,” she said and hung up.
When I got into school the next day, I ripped out a piece of paper from my spiral notebook and wrote “LEE I LOVE YOU” on it inside a lopsided heart. I folded it twice and slipped it into the upper vent of her locker. The note was ugly and stupid, but it worked. Later that day, we hugged in a stairwell and I squeezed her ass. I wondered how long it would be before I got her in bed. Thinking about the hand job from Anne-Marie didn't even get me hard anymore. I had to go to the next level.
I was getting off the bus at the hotel one day when some kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Have a Happy Easter!”
I yelled back, “Shut up, faggot!”
I got about halfway up the driveway when a big Fairlaine pulled up next to me. Roy leaned out of the driver's window and waved me over. I went over to him, but he said, “No, get in the car!”
I went around to the passenger's side and got in.
“What was that you yelled at the boy on the bus?” asked Roy, after I closed the door.
“I called him a faggot.”
“Why did you call him a faggot?”
“Because he told me Happy Easter.”
“Easter's about a month away.”
“He was making a joke, because Chinese people have teeth like Easter bunnies.”
“They do, don't they?” he said, smiling. “So anyway, I just wanted to say goodbye. I'm going.”
“Yeah, sorry the room rates went back up.”
“Oh, no, it's a good thing. This will get me on my way again. I don't want to get too comfortable anywhere.”
“Where are you going to go?”
“Anywhere I want.”
“Where's that?”
“You know, you got a speech problem. You always end everything with a question mark.”
“Just asking.”
“I packed everything into the car and checked out with your mother this morning. And then I waited in this car all afternoon just so I could say goodbye to you.”
I was stunned. No one ever went out of their way to do anything for me, let alone say goodbye.
“How come?”
“Because I worry about you, little man. You can't stand up for yourself in a snowball fight. You going around calling people faggots and talking about getting laid and everything. Just remember, if you have sex, wear a condom. I'm warning you.”
“I thought you said sex complicates everything.”
Roy heaved a heavy sigh. “You know, I left a son in Vietnam. His mother is a really wonderful woman. He's a few years younger than you. But I think about him when I see you.”
“Does he look like me?”
“I haven't seen him in a while. His mother, too.”
“Maybe you should bring them here.”
“I've got a wife here.”
“You're married?”
“In the process of getting unmarried. This is what I meant about things getting complicated⦔ He trailed off.
“Okay, well, I'll see you later, Roy,” I said, putting a hand on the door latch.
“Wait, let me give you a ride down to the ofï¬ce.”
“It's like a hundred feet away.”
“Please, let me. Least I can do.”
He drove me down to the ofï¬ce and watched me get out. Then his car turned slowly and he was gone.
With the spring thaw, the ï¬ow of johns came back to the hotel in full force. Ten to 15 pulled in and out a night.
“How much for a couple of hours?” asked one john.
“Twenty.”
“It's worth it to get laid, isn't it?” he asked. Not getting a reply from me, he looked into my eyes and smiled. “Isn't it worth it?” he asked again.
“Yeah, sure it is,” I said. When I cleaned out his room later. The bed hadn't been touched. It must have been one of those quickies on the ï¬oor. He left an unopened bottle of St. Pauli Girl in the bathtub, though. The label was wrinkled and peeling off. I wondered if getting drunk was like having sex.
I sat on the unmade bed and took my rubber gloves off, then opened the bottle and took a swig. It was warm and tasted lousy, like the bitter barley tea I once drank by accident when I found it in the fridge. Still, I drank the whole thing. I felt my face ï¬ush up. A rushing sound blocked out my hearing. I lay back on the dirty bed, waiting to feel something good, but it didn't even feel as good as jerking off. I fell asleep for about an hour on that hotel bed.
“Hey, you!” It was the head Benny on the phone.
“Hey, Vincent!”
“What's up there, you horny little bastard?”
“What's going on?”
“Yeah, well, I was wondering if you had, uh, if you could let me stay down there for a few days. I gotta get out of town, you know?”
“What?”
“Some guy's after me because I fucked his sister. I didn't force her, or nothing. She was drunk, I was drunk.
You understand, my man?”
“Yeah, I understand.”
“I knew you would, that's why I'm glad I got you on the phone and not your parents. We got that between us. You're my best friend down there. You can just slip me a room key and not charge me, right? I'm a little short on the moolah right now.”
“Well, I don't know about that,” I said. My mother and father would blast through the roof like a two-stage space rocket if they knew I was giving a room away. “How long are you going to stay?”
“Just a couple of weeks. Gimme a room near the end so people don't see me coming in and out. I'm gonna be down there late on Friday night. The car's in the shop, so I'm gonna take the train down.”
“Okay,” I said, just then realizing that he'd talked his way into getting a free room.
But Vincent never showed up that Friday night. I was sitting behind the desk, reading “A Modest Proposal” in my school literature book, when the police came in. There were two of them. One was tall and gaunt and kept his hands in his pockets. The other had a broken nose and a wide frame. They both looked sleepy and shufï¬ed around the ofï¬ce like they were looking for a place to lie down.
“Hey kid, you got a Vincent Bruno staying here?” asked the gaunt cop.
“No,” I said quickly, feeling my heart race. I was having ï¬ashbacks to the other cop who'd stopped by.
“Can I get a look at the registration cards?” I handed them over, even though I knew the police were supposed to have a search warrant to see them. Gaunt Cop ï¬ipped through the cards, holding them at an angle so Broken Nose could see them, too. Broken Nose shook his head at each card.
“Okay, thanks,” said Gaunt Cop, handing the cards back. “He stays here in the summer, right?”
“Yes,” I said, suddenly feeling like I'd just betrayed Vincent, the only person who would play Atari with me. “What did he do?” The cops looked at each other.
“Scumbag's a rapist,” Broken Nose said, ending his sentence with a loud yawn.
“Oh,” I said.
“Kid like you shouldn't be working here,” Broken Nose said, looking around at the far corners of the ofï¬ce ceiling.
“My parents own this place.”