Waterfront Journals (2 page)

Twenty-Year-Old Woman in Times Square

NEW YORK CITY

Hey man … I don't know what to do … I'm feelin real sick … last night I got picked up by this trick over on Eighth Avenue at about two in the mornin … we got a room in this hotel over on Forty-third and got upstairs and he was talkin okay … ya know I didn't think anything was wrong with him … so we get into bed and we start makin it and all of a sudden I see this knife and he starts mumblin all this shit and starts cuttin me … I screamed as loud as I could but like I was in shock … luckily the man workin the desk the next floor down heard me … my fuckin arms were just slit up and the door flies open and the manager takes this fuckin guy by the ass and the hair and throws him down the whole flight of stairs … the fuckin guy ran out into the street naked and disappeared … look at this … I fuckin wrapped them up but they haven't stopped bleedin … ah shit I'm afraid to go to the fuckin hospital cause I think they'll arrest me … someone gave me these penicillins … I been takin them so it doesn't get infected but I don't know man … I feel sick in my stomach … it's almost fuckin Christmas and I'm supposed to go to Chicago and see my little kids … I can't let them see me like this man … I'm a fuckin mess … this is it man … I ain't workin this fuckin city no more … I'm gonna take a bus down south … away from all these fuckin pimps and screwballs … fuck this man … I'm goin down south …

Kentucky Trucker in the Rocky Mountains

COLORADO

I make this trip a lot … I can pretty much choose my route as far as direction. I'm in between jobs right now I get tired of working so I lay off for a couple of weeks. Usually I hole up in a motel with some woman and a couple bottles of whiskey and burn it all off … you can meet some great women driving throughout this country at these truck stops. I picked up this one girl … boy was she a wild one. We were cutting along towards Chio and she kept talking like she was rounded up on mollies or some shit then she says to me: How do you know I ain't plannin on pullin out a knife or somethin and killin you for your money? So I eased this pistol I got in my boot out and waved it under her nose. I said: I've been itching to try this out. I got eight hundred dollars in my left ass pocket so when you have the mind to try it you better do the job right. She started giggling and acting like a baby. I almost dumped her off right there on the highway but we kept on and when we reached Columbus we pulled over into a motel and got us a room and had a wild weekend … we didn't leave that room except to eat a meal or two … she was like a bobcat in bed, scratching and screaming and giggling the whole time and she didn't touch that fuckin money or that gun … she was alright. See it's the ones who don't say a word that are really crazy … if you're baked upstairs you don't say a word, you just pull that knife or gun or whatever and use it … There ain't no reason to talk about it if you've got something like that on your mind …

There was this one girl I picked last year out in Arizona … real pretty and young … so I gave her a ride and we were about four miles down the interstate when she rips open her blouse. She doesn't even unbutton it she just rips it open and messes up her hair and turns to me and says: Look buddy, you give me fifty bucks right now or I'll start screamin rape. I said: Holy shit! to myself and reached over and smacked her as hard as I could and pulled over to the side of the road and smacked her again and I told her: You go ahead and scream rape. I'm gonna kick the shit outta you. She started crying and saying: No no I'm sorry just let me out. I ain't gonna pull nothing. I'm sorry. So I opened the door and pushed her out and closed the door and took off. I'll never let anybody pull that shit with me.

Woman in Chinese-American Coffee Shop

SAN FRANCISCO

Oh man when I was in the joint nothin happened … I didn't get sick or nothin like I was scared I would … I was snortin and shit before I went in … and I'm thinkin Oh shit this habit's gonna come up on me cause I was doin ten bags by then … but the stuff I was snortin inside kept me goin the whole time I was there … I'll tell ya though … my lawyer knows just where I am … ya know man … he can get me for breakin parole any time he wants … he just gotta pick up the telephone and have the police pick me up … he knows where I live but he don't want to do that cause he knows I'm comin down here for the program every day for the first two years and I ain't been a problem … but I almost got picked up last week cause I was doin that shit where I'd let some guy proposition me and then I'd say: Yeah man twenty dollars and I'd take the money off the guy and the first chance I had I would split. Well this guy went and called the police on me man. I couldn't believe it and these two officers grabbed me and asked the guy what I did and the guy said: She took twenty dollars off me and tried to run away, and the cop said: Well how did she get twenty dollars offa you? and the guy says: Well I thought she was a prostitute, and the cop says: Well Miss, you got this guy's twenty bucks? I had forty dollars stuck down the back of my pants so I pulled it out and said: Hey man. I got a ten and two fives in one hand and a twenty in the other. Now you tell me which one is yours and I'll give it back like do you know the serial numbers man? And the guy says: I handed you the ten and two fives so the cop says: Give em back to him … so I don't want no trouble so I hand the money back to the guy and the cops take this man to the side and say to him: Now do you want to press charges against this woman? and the guy says: No no. I don't want to press any charges, and the cops say to him: You sure man? and the guy says: Yeah I'm sure I don't wanna press charges. So the cop says: Okay now we're gonna read you your constitutional rights you're under arrest for propositioning this lady. Wow man I couldn't believe it. Ya see the cops didn't let this guy know that they'd arrest him if he didn't press charges cause then that would mean he was wrong if he didn't … shit … I told the cops that I wouldn't press charges. I said: Hell no man … I got enough things to take care of … I got a kid comin and another one at home so I can't afford any trouble with goin to court … ya know?

Man in Portland Movie Theater

OREGON

When I was little I used to come to this movie house every chance I got … I'd sneak in through the alley … I'd tap on the door real soft until one of the people sitting here got up and opened it up for me. Sometimes I'd see the same movie fifteen times … the fun of it was hanging out in the balcony with popcorn and ice cream and watching all the goings-on around me in the seats. One time I was hanging out for the late show I was about thirteen years old and I had been to bed with a few guys but I never slept with a girl … I had been wanting to for a long time but I was never good on the rap like most of my friends … so this one night I was sitting and watching this monster movie some old Dracula film with British actors and I heard someone coming down the aisleway. It was pretty dark up there but I could see it was a woman. She was big not fat but something like six feet tall slightly heavy with big legs she had a huge bustline and she was wearing shocking pink hot pants … what a vision … every head in the balcony turned. She had these bright red painted lips and she was carrying a little black bag. I watched her enter the line of seats I was in and my heart almost fell out when she sat down a chair away from me … there weren't too many people in the balcony that night so she could have chosen a number of other places to sit down in order to be alone so I didn't know what to make of it … my mind was racing … all these fuckin fantasies … I turned back to the screen and kinda let my popcorn drop down to the floor cause it seemed childish to be chewing on popcorn. I was afraid she might see it and get turned off … I didn't really know what she was thinking but I was hoping for the best. I kept watch out of the corner of my eye for the longest while and finally let my hand kinda drift down onto the seat between us … I let it sit there after a couple of seconds she let hers drift down and slowly covered my hand with hers … my heart was racing! I got really red but I was glad it was dark so she couldn't see that. We kinda played with each other's hands and after a few minutes she got up and went back upstairs to the main aisle and disappeared. I wanted to follow her but I was too self-conscious with all those people watching from the other seats … my legs were like rubber … I watched the film for a few more minutes and then the woman came back down the stairs … she was carrying a cola and she came back into my aisle and sat down right next to me … in a few seconds she found my hand again and placed it across her breasts. I got a big hard-on and played with her tits for a while. Then I slipped my hands under her blouse and rubbed on her nipples … after about fifteen minutes I leaned over and asked her if I could go home with her … I was living at home with my parents and there was no way I could bring her there … she said her lover lived at home with her but if I wanted to make it with her we could do it down the back stairs of the movie house, it was a staircase hardly anyone used. I was delirious I said yes and we got up and climbed the stairs to the main aisle. I was aware of the guys in the balcony watching us but I was too excited to care. I mean it meant so much to me that in a few minutes I wasn't gonna be a virgin anymore so we went down the back staircase which wasn't lit too well and she took my cock out of my pants and leaning against the wall she pulled down her pants she had her stomach flat against the wall which kinda struck me as weird but I figured she wanted me to enter somehow from behind … she took hold of my cock and guided it into her ass … I didn't want to fuck her in the ass so I pulled back and tried to get it under her and she moved away … all this time I was holding on to her breasts and so then I let my hands go down to her cunt so she would get the message that that's what I wanted … when my hands got down near her crotch she gave a wild jump and moved away from me … then she stepped back to where she was standing before and took my cock and guided it to her ass this time after placing both of my hands back on her breasts … I don't know what it was but something made me suspicious … she wouldn't let me go near her crotch with my hands so I started playing with her breasts again and at the same time I moved back slowly so that in order to get my cock into her ass she would have to move away from the wall. When she did this and was far enough away from the wall to give me room I quick slipped my hands down to her crotch and sure enough there was a cock and balls there. The guy turned around with this look of terror on his face … his mouth fell open and he looked like he was afraid I was going to beat him up … I was upset … it was like some kind of fantasy that had slowly started coming true and then it was suddenly exploded. I just said: Oh fuck! and pushed him away. I pulled up my pants and rushed down the stairs and out into the street … I felt like crying but I just ran all the way home …

Fourteen-Year-Old Runaway Girl

WOODSTOCK

I think I need some kind of care … not mental care ya know but medical care because I think my heart's bad … I gotta bad heart I get heart attacks all the time … I just keep movin around. Ya know what I'm doing? I'm lookin for Bob Dylan. I think he's in California or maybe he's back in New York City … but I figure I gotta be in control of myself before I meet him … I don't want him to say: Hey look, you're just a little kid, real young … ya gotta grow up.

I only talk with guys that got hook noses, with noses like Bob Dylan's. I find I can usually get along with them … like they're more sensitive … I talk to sensitive guys cause they're good for me … they know what I'm talkin about … they do things for me ya know? I sometimes talk with guys with other kinds of noses, sensitive noses … like yours …

I was in a program for a while, in a hospital. They taught me to see myself … let myself come through … that's why I'm much nicer than last year. Last year I was angry but that was because people would come up and make faces at me … people play a lot of games ya know? At the hospital I went through a lot of stuff … sometimes I'd get real angry … I wouldn't get violent, I'm not a violent person but I'd get physical ya know? like I'd hit somebody but I knew what I was doing … it was like a game … I'd say to myself: I'll hit that person and then I'll say I'm sorry … but the program was good … we had to be on detroxin or destroxan or something like that … a shot every two weeks … not a shot that hurt … and I'd feel good …

I don't hitchhike, I'll hitchhike only if I know the place I'm going … like if I was goin to Jersey I'd hitchhike cause I know Jersey … but I meet strange guys on the road. One time I was hitchin in Kansas and this big fat guy picked me up … we were drivin along and all of a sudden he reached over and grabbed my arm. I said: Oh shit and tried to jump out of the car but he wouldn't let me so I quick tore my arm away and got the door opened and jumped out. He yelled out at me:
Don't you get back in this car girlie
.

I gotta get some ID so I can go to work but I don't remember what hospital I was born in and my mother died and my father retired and is somewhere in Florida and I can't get the name of the hospital … I figure maybe I should go back to the program … that's the best thing for me cause my image of myself is totally shattered … I might have pneumonia … I got this terrible cough and I'm allergic to sugar … I wanna get me a guitar and a harmonica once I start workin … then I can practice and get good at it … and I'll go down to the Village around Bleecker Street and find me some folkies and we'll all live together and get the revolution started again …

Young Guy Hanging Out on Market Street