Water Lily (19 page)

Shin and Sam whispered together at a comer table. Their faces were animated as if they were sharing a piece of amusing, malicious
gossip. She moved toward them. They greeted her with smiles and welcomed her. She wanted to tell them her story, to hear them
say that she should marry Ralph or that there was another answer, something she didn’t know about. Perhaps, if she befriended
Sam, he could help her find her way in China. But they were engrossed in the karaoke menu, selecting songs for themselves,
and bickering about the titles. Runa was frustrated. Since first meeting them she felt she was on the edge of becoming a friend
yet somehow could not come close to them. Sam glanced at her often, but Shin would keep distracting him with some comment
or suggestion that seemed intended to provoke a snapped response. They were perfectly pleasant to Runa, but too wrapped up
in themselves to let her in.

The two friends stepped up to the microphones, and Runa was alone at the table. She watched as Sam punched numbers into the
karaoke machine with an expression of glee. Shin shuffled around behind with his arms folded. They sang a duet, a bouncy pop
song that Runa had never heard before. She tapped her foot and waited for them to finish but when the song ended, they started
another. Shin’s voice was deep and rich. Above it Sam’s was metallic and tuneless. Runa bought herself a beer and drank it
steadily. She aimed to reach the bottom of the glass just as the song ended but the beer finished first. When her glass was
empty she stood to go to the bar, but Sam grabbed her and put the microphone into her hand. The song was an old one that she
remembered her father listening to, a man singing to his wife on their wedding day. It was an odd choice and she felt strange
singing along. She couldn’t see the words very clearly on the screen and wondered if her eyes needed testing. She lost her
place and began to laugh. She knew she sounded terrible, but without Jun Ikeda at her side, she didn’t want to sing well or
to enjoy it particularly. She finished a line and let Shin take over. No one in the bar paid much attention. She forgot about
her second drink and returned to her table. She didn’t plan to sing again but enjoyed the colored lights on the ceiling, the
warm feeling that the passengers had come alive at last and were making the at their own.

Would she soon be married to one of them? When Nanao married Hiroshi, Runa was delighted. They were the perfect couple, both
so attractively clever and gentle. She couldn’t have wanted more for her sister, but Runa had been scared, too. She never
admitted it but she was afraid that Nanao might not have time for her anymore, and she would be lonely. It turned out not
to matter because Hiroshi was sent abroad by his company for months at a time, and when he was at home, he was friendly to
Runa, always helpful and never minded the two sisters going off together. After a year or two, Runa went to the mountains
to be a teacher and only saw them every few months. So she became used to Hiroshi and liked him but still, she felt the family
had expanded enough and she never thought of marrying. Nanao told her to think of the future, but Runa couldn’t. And here
was Ralph. As long as she thought of the marriage as a bargain and nothing more, it would be all right; she could stand him.
Ralph would have what he wanted, for a couple of years. And no one was ever promised a happy marriage. Even her parents—who
did their very best to be happy and succeeded for many years—couldn’t prevent tragedy from rotting them away. What she was
about to do was no different from compensated dating, just an arrangement, just longer term.

When Sam and Shin were singing, she noticed that the wound on Sam’s temple had opened slightly and was glistening as though
it had only just stopped bleeding. She tried to avert her eyes—it was rude to stare—but he was singing with such enthusiasm
that she couldn’t look anywhere but at him. Blood began to drip down his cheek. She focused instead on his mouth, as if the
rest of his face wasn’t there, watched it open, shut, make shapes around words, but soon the red snake slipped onto his lips,
changed shape, and spread over them. The song ended and he smiled widely. The blood smeared across his face. Runa was trembling.
She applauded, hoping he would go and attend to the wound, but he stood still. Shin helped him to Runa’s table. He was expecting
her to do something about the blood, but she had given her handkerchief to the heron so there wasn’t much she could do. Why
was she mopping up everyone’s fluids today?

“Sorry. I’m not much good at looking after people. I’m not quite sure what to do.”

“It’s his own fault. He tried to start another fight before we came in here. You know, he’s not very strong. I didn’t bother
to hit him back this time but by then his face was already hurt.”

Shin took Sam’s hair tenderly, held it back from the blood. Sam attempted feebly to move Shin’s hand, but gave up and let
his arm droop.

“I do hope it heals up soon.”

“He’ll be all right.” Shin was propping Sam up against the back of the seat.

“Shut the fuck up and get me a towel or some water.” Sam spat blood and saliva as he spoke. “Otherwise I won’t be all right,
will I? I’m bleeding here, if you hadn’t noticed.”

“Come on then, stupid. Let’s get you sorted out.”

“Don’t call me stupid. Who the hell are you?” His eyes screwed up in pain and more red tears trickled down his cheek. His
voice rasped. “You’re just an aerobics instructor. You’re the brainless one. I’m the high school teacher.”

“Are you?” Runa was shocked.

“Yes, for your information, I am. I teach sports and I know a thing or two about injuries so I really would appreciate some
water. Now.”

Shin led him away to the bathroom. Runa moved to a different table, one without splashes of blood. She turned her back on
the karaoke for a while and looked out at the sea. The sight tired her. After a while you started to forget what land was,
what it was like to pass a stranger on the street, to cycle through trees in the shadows of mountains, to set off on a path
and walk for miles. When she returned to Japan—whenever that would be—she would go by plane. She felt a pang of homesickness,
afraid that now she had left, somehow she wouldn’t be able to get back again. Like the school—now that she couldn’t see her
country, it didn’t exist. But where did that leave her sister?
Nanao, watch out for me. Don’t disappear
.

Shin and Sam had gone and Runa was alone. Sam was a high-school teacher. Now she could never tell him her story. She knew
what he would think of her. She might as well say, Hey,
I’m a criminal, I’m a weirdo
. She imagined Sam in the school she had come from, leading the boys across the sports field, blowing his whistle, running
tired through rain and snow. Her mind moved to the sports teachers she remembered-including Kawasaki-in the staffroom, strutting
around in their tracksuits, now accusing her of every evil, speculating on her escape.

A woman was singing a Chinese song. Her voice was high and sharp. Runa was reminded of a seagull. The music swelled around
the sound and for a moment the boat and its noise seemed to expand together. Runa thought about Sam and was scared. He would
judge her, but it was worse than that. Sam was a high-school teacher, a former university baseball captain, just like Kawasaki.
He even went to university in Yokohama, as Kawasaki had. He would be the coach of the school baseball team. Was it possible
that Sam and Kawasaki knew each other, that Kawasaki had taken the photograph and then sent Sam to follow her? Perhaps, when
they whispered together, when they fought, it had something to do with Runa.

Ralph appeared. He had a drink in each hand.

“I’ve got you a glass of wine. Nice singing back there.” His own drink was beer.

“Thank you.”

He must have been watching her from a corner or from out-side the room. She shuddered. He had been jealous before, when he
found her in his cabin with Sam and Shin, but Runa was a step ahead of the heron.

He placed the glasses on mats, a little too carefully, as if he were used to a lifetime of compensating for natural clumsiness.
He sat beside her. She could see that he was trying to think of something to say. She felt sorry for him.

“I live in a town called Carlisle.”

“I don’t know Carlisle.”

“It is a small, friendly town. It is near the Lake District. Very beautiful lakes and high mountains. I like climbing them.”
He mimed climbing a mountain and she smiled at him. He grinned back. He looked so confident, suddenly, as if he wasn’t used
to being smiled at for what he said. “Though not very high ones.”

“Near your house?” she asked, wondering if she could now admit that she spoke pretty good English. She had a feeling that
he preferred her without it, liked the game of baby talk. He was the kind of man who would take you out for dinner and try
to cut up your food and feed it to you with your own fork, but do nothing to lift a finger in his own house. It would be better
not to mention that she was a qualified teacher.

“Yes. Very near my house. Beautiful mountains and lakes. Do you like the countryside?”

“Yes. I like.”

“My house isn’t quite in the countryside but it has a big garden. And a garden shed. My house has a lot of rooms. It is warm,
too.”

“Warm?”

“Yes. The heating system is new. In winter it gets dark early. I like to close all the windows and turn the heating very high.”
He was miming each action to make himself clear. “I draw pictures and read books, mostly picture books. Or I listen to music
in the dark.”

“It’s nice.”

“But I get lonely in the dark. I like to share things. People need to share.”

“I think so.”

“My house is very big for just one person, Nanao.”

“It is?”

“I’m not married. I’m single, you see. How about you?”

“Yes. Me, too.” He had asked her the same question before. He must be very nervous.

“I was married before. My wife was from Thailand.” “You are married now?”

“No. She went away. She wasn’t a good person but I’d like to marry again.”

“Me, too.”

He clasped her hand. She looked at their fingers, all scrunched together, and felt tears welling. But she didn’t know what
they were for, and she excused herself to go to the toilet. She stood and had to steady herself by clutching the tables as
she walked. Instead of rocking, the boat seemed to be pulsating, the people getting bigger and smaller, the colors growing
bright and then dimming, with each beat. Outside the bar, she found the door with a little triangular woman on the window.
She was about to push it when Sam’s head appeared in front of hers. Half of his face was covered by a paper towel, glued to
his skin with a blot of ruby red. Why were they so violent? She was certain that he must be a friend of Kawasaki’s. She recognized
the gratuitous bullying of the playing field. Kawasaki had asked them to follow her as some kind of favor.

“Are you all right?” she asked him.

“Are you all right?” he parroted, looking at Runa strangely as if noticing her for the first time.

“No, I’m asking you. Your injury looked bad.”

“No, I’m asking you.”

“What?”

“I’m asking you. You’re talking to that British guy again. It seems to be getting serious. I think he’s after you. You want
to watch out.”

“It’s fine. I like him.”

“Really? You like him?” Sam stared in disbelief.

“Yes. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing.” He shrugged. “Nothing at all. He seems a bit old for you. I thought a pretty woman like you would prefer some-one
younger.”

“I don’t see what you mean.”

His black eyes flickered, darted around her face. “But wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you prefer a younger man?”

Shin came and pulled him away. Runa went through the door and almost fell into a cubicle. She put down the lid of the toilet
and sat to think. The walls and floor were turning now, like pieces in a kaleidoscope. Yes, she would prefer a younger man
and Sam seemed to know it. There was no need for either of them to say Jun’s name now. Sam was watching her.

She returned to the bar and looked around for Ralph. A young Chinese woman had taken over at the microphone and was singing
Madonna songs. Runa stared for a few minutes, ad-miring her voice, the slinky way she moved while she sang, without quite
dancing. She watched, in fact, until a bony body obstructed her view.

The heron was back, now with a whole bottle of wine, and before Runa could twist her head to see him clearly, her glass was
full to the brim. He put his face close to hers and his lips spread into a grin. Pinheads of sweat glistened in his pores.
Runa looked down and swallowed. Then she reached out her hand and moved a strand of sticky hair from his forehead, pushed
it back. She felt herself blush. And then somehow they were talking about marriage.
When we go to England,
he was saying. And a few minutes later,
as soon as we’re married.
So all she had to do was spend some time with him, get to England, and live with him. It would be hard, probably impossible,
to marry him with just Nanao’s passport for identification, but at least she would get there and have somewhere to live for
a while. He was saying that she could start on a tourist visa and then, if necessary, he would get her a student visa, just
until they could sort out the marriage. He would pay for her to do a course. Cooking or flower arranging. Ralph had planned
every detail and he didn’t seem to require an answer. She only had to nod and smile. Still, she was a little scared by the
size of the lie.

Ralph had brought other people to their table. Shin and Sam, Wu and Mei Ling, and there were other faces behind theirs. He
clinked his glass against the bottle.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make.” He was stooping to the left and swaying slightly. A section of his
hair stuck out, like a wing, from the side of his head. He spoke slowly, concentrating hard on enunciating his words correctly.

“Nanao and I have just decided to become engaged. We’re having a little romantic drink to celebrate and I invite you all to
join us.”