Watching Yute (37 page)

She crawled into the tent, and
straightened out the two sleeping bags, which had been opened all
the way and flattened into one double width ‘bed’. She dragged
herself into it. All the little unimportant thoughts were pushed
away to make room for one little idea. A scent.

Cheryl’s scent had managed to linger
between these covers, laying in wait to assault Cassidy now. It
flowed through her, getting into her lungs, her mind, and whatever
passed for a soul. It grabbed her, and ripped the tears from her
eyes. She curled up with as much of the soft scented fabric as she
could, and turned over, planning to cry herself to
sleep.

It was then that she felt that thing
hanging on her hip again. With trembling breath, she reached down
her thigh, slow, as if touching a lover for the first time. She
undid her lover’s clothing, and pulled it forth slowly. This was
not the first time she’d touched this lover, but they had not…
consummated before.

This lover was smooth. Efficient. She
had spent so much time hating guns, when she should have been
hating knives. Not as smooth. Not as efficient.

How long did Cheryl have to feel the
blade, and the wound it left, before she finally died? She looked
closely at the gun. It wouldn’t help her appreciate Cheryl’s
pain.

But it was efficient.

~~~

Maxine had seen the airlimb come and
go. She looked forward to seeing Cassidy, but it could wait until
she finished her exercises. Her usual routine with her wooden spear
flowed as it always did. Of course, it had occurred to her many
times that this was not terribly vigorous exercise, with little
cardio benefit. It was almost more of a meditation. Cipriana found
sitting on her bed in the lotus position to work, Maxine had this
instead.

It had evolved to a certain routine
that hadn’t changed in a long, long time. She could do it without
thinking. Once, she did it in a dream, but in the dream, she did it
underwater, watched by a smiling fish named Hugo. She never figured
out what Hugo was smiling about. He was creepy, but kind of
frien-

Crack! A distant single gunshot, coming
from somewhere across the path. Without daring to wonder too much
about it, Maxine gripped her spear with a single hand, tight
against her forearm, and ran to the sound.

She found the camp quickly, having
poked her nose in that direction out of curiosity in the past.
“Hello?!” She called out. No reply. The tent flap was open, and
there were fresh footprints leading into it. “Cassidy…?” Maxine
hesitated to go any closer.

Cassidy’s voice came from inside the
tent. “Hang on.” She didn’t sound quite right.

“
I heard a shot!” Maxine
called back.

“
Um, yeah.” Cassidy crawled
out, her hat pulled low over her eyes. She waved without making eye
contact, and walked over to a piece of ruined stone wall about
fifteen metres in front of the tent. She picked at a hole in it. A
few loose bits of stone and a mangled bullet fell out.

“
You shot a wall? Was it
sneaking up on you?”

Cassidy giggled a little as she leaned
over to pick up the bullet. “It was really quiet. I wouldn’t trust
this wall as far as I can throw it.”

Maxine strolled towards Cassidy. “Cass,
you’re nuts.”

“
Nope.” She sniffled as she
rolled the bullet around in her hand. “Nuts is my uncle Murray who
drove around naked, because he heard that crash test dummies didn’t
have clothes, so that must be safer.” She stuffed the bullet back
into the hole.

“
What?!”

“
He was worried stuff like
buttons in his shirt would get embedded in him in an accident, and
stuff like that. Nightmares about what the metal teeth of his fly
might do to him.” Her voice was becoming more like what Maxine
would expect. She was still hiding her eyes under her hat
though.

“
Will you give me a serious
answer, please?”

Cassidy giggled “Alright, alright, I
don’t have an uncle Murray. It was me, and it was a giraffe ride in
front of the supermarket.”

“
Cassidy!” Maxine grabbed
Cassidy and forced her to make eye contact. Cassidy’s expression
went blank, and her eyes confirmed Maxine’s suspicion that she had
been crying hard. “Cass, do you care to tell me why you were
shooting at a wall?”

Cassidy shoved Maxine’s hands off, and
turned away. “I never fired one before, alright? I wanted to get a
feel for the recoil before I had to use it for real.”

Maxine tilted her head. “You’ve been in
the army how long, and you never fired a gun? What was your last
posting, janitor? And what about basic training? For fuck’s sake,
why did anyone even give you a gun without knowing you were
sufficiently trained with it?”

“
Armil’s guys give me
anything. And I cheated in basic.”

Maxine was flabbergasted beyond
words.

Cassidy adjusted her hat, and shifted
her weight. “Are we done here, officer?”

“
Idiot.” Maxine muttered.
“You had lunch yet, idiot?”

“
Naw, I don’t-“

“
You’re coming to the mess
with me for lunch, now, or I’m telling the den mother that you
defiled the ruins.”

“
What?” Cassidy pointed at
the damage. “It’s just a tiny little hole! On that wall over there,
Cheryl painted that big-“ Her pointing hand tightened into a
trembling fist. She stood there breathing deep, staring at the
paint doodles, remembering watching Cheryl work on them.

Maxine took her hand. “Cass. You really
shouldn’t hang out here. Come on. Lunch.”

The base was as it always was. Alan was
passing by as Maxine and Cassidy entered.

“
Cass! Hey! Good to see
you.” Alan’s voice changed slightly to a softer tone. How ya
holdin’ up?”

Crap, just the kind of question she
thought she had escaped by ditching the wake. “Hey, Alan. Yeah,
well, you know. Talk to you later, okay? I’m going to go
eat.”

“
Yeah, okay. Well, good to
see you.” Maybe he took the hint. Nah, he’s male. Maybe Maxine
would explain it to him later. The two of them continued onto the
mess, to find Wanda putting away a couple dishes.

“
Hey,” Maxine greeted
casually, opening up the freezer to browse.

“
Hey Max- Cass! Oh! Hey,
Cass, how are you doing?”

Cassidy groaned quietly as she sat at
one of the tables. “Hi, Wanda. I’m doing okay.”

“
The funeral, Cheryl’s
funeral, how was it?”

Maxine interrupted. “Cass, catch.” She
tossed a couple of Alan’s famous cookies to her, and then held up a
frozen dinner. “You like the ravioli one, right?”

Cassidy brought her hand over her eyes,
hoping it looked like she had a headache. “Yeah, Maxine. Thanks.”
Thanks for nuking lunch for her, and thanks for cutting off Wanda’s
line of questioning.

Wanda paused. “Ah, well, if you two
don’t mind, I just got off shift, and I kind of wanted to go pass
out…”

“
Sure thing, Wanda. Good to
see you too.” Wanda got the hint well enough, bless her heart.
Wanda wandered off, and Maxine stuck two frozen dinners in the
industrial microwave. “Well, I can see your reasoning for putting
off coming back to base, Cass, but seriously. Not the camp,
alright?”

Before Maxine took two steps away from
the microwave, Jim ran in, leaping onto the bench across from
Cassidy.

“
Cass! My old partner! So
much has happened, I just know there’s only been one thought on
your mind!” Jim’s intensity and energy was overwhelming, and quite
unlike him. “You’ve been racking your head, wondering ‘Gosh! What
has Jim been doing ever since his big crush shrugged him off? Have
they been able to make friends, or has Jim cursed his vile name
quietly with every breath?’” He was being careful not to actually
speak Karl’s name at such volumes..

Cassidy tried hard not to smile. “You
fuckhead.”

“
Not to be defeated, I asked
him, I asked, ‘Do you have a gay brother?’ And do you know what he
said? Ya know what he said to me? This’ll rip ya up Cass, it really
will!“

Taking a deep breath, pausing in
appreciation of Jim shutting up for a second, she eventually
replied, “No, Jim, I don’t know. What did he say to
you?”

Jim stood suddenly and dramatically,
holding his hand up as if reciting Shakespeare. “’Jim’, he said, ‘I
do have a gay brother, for you are a brother to me, and thusly
forsooth, and yea verily, if you wanted to make love to my gay
brother, you can go fuck yourself!’”

Cassidy hit her head against the table,
and stayed in that position. “Jim. Jim, Jim, Jim.” Head still face
down on the table, she lifted an arm to point at him accusingly.
“Love ya, fuckhead. Thanks.”

Maxine shook her head. “Where did you
come up with that?”

Jim relaxed, and shrugged. “Based on
real events. More or less.”

Cassidy lifted her head and sighed.
“Touching story, honestly.”

“
Well, I overheard Wanda,
and figured…” Jim put his hand on Cassidy’s shoulder. “But you know
we’re all here for ya, right?”

She put her hand on his, and patted it.
“Yeah.”

When Jim left, Cassidy was finally able
to eat in peace. Well, it wasn’t even her idea to eat, it was
Maxine’s. Maxine was being quiet.

Too quiet.

She tried to read Maxine, but couldn’t
get anything. “You must be good at poker.” Cassidy said.

“
Huh?”

“
Nevermind.” Another five
minutes allowed Cassidy to slip into a false sense of security,
until the stranger entered.

“
Leftenent Stanton?” The
stranger was a woman, not that much older than Cassidy. She had
brown hair, tied back in a braid, and she was dressed in civilian
clothes; blue business casual.

Cassidy turned her head to look at her.
She looked a bit too… pleasant. She looked back over to Maxine.
Maxine didn’t look surprised. This was an ambush.

Maxine tilted her head and smiled
softly. “She’s been talking with a lot of people who are having
problems dealing with the attack. When I asked for a counselor to
come, the brass said they were already lining it up.”

Poking at lunch with her fork, Cassidy
averted her eyes from both of them. “That’s nice.” Damn it. She
didn’t think Maxine had been that serious about calling in a
counselor. Maybe it’s like a lost dog. If you don’t feel it, it’ll
go away.

“
Cassidy, do you mind if I
call you Cassidy?” Damn, it didn’t go away. This was a targeted
hit. “Would you like to go for a walk?”

Cassidy sighed, and shook her head
slowly, still looking into the remains of her lunch. “No, not
really.”

Maxine glanced at Cassidy’s holster,
then kicked her foot under the table, and not gently.
“Go.”

Cassidy pushed herself up, and stood.
“Sir, yes Sir.” She walked to the door, leaving space for the
counselor to walk beside her, which she did. Better to play along,
than wind up in a straight jacket with an I.V. of happy juice, in a
padded room. “So what do I call you, Dr. what?”

“
Just call me Karen. I’m not
a psychiatrist, I’m a counselor.”

They stepped into the daylight, and
Cassidy decided on a walking route towards Maxine’s exercise yard,
away from the camp. The last thing she wanted Karen to get talking
about was the camp. It had almost turned into a private shrine to
Cheryl's memory. “So, you’re a counselor. What does that mean?”
Cassidy smirked, “You can’t prescribe drugs, can you?”

Karen smirked back. “That’s true. If
you’re concerned about my credentials,-“

Cassidy put her hand up to stop her.
“Nah, nah, I don’t care.” It’s not as if she’d be taking this talk
any more seriously if she had a briefcase full of diplomas. “So,
you talked to some of the others, huh?”

“
Yes. I made it known I was
available, and those who wanted to talk, came to me. Maxine asked
me to make it a point to see you.”

Cassidy would have to ‘thank’ Maxine
for that later. “Bet she aimed you at Cipriana, too, huh? How’d
that go?”

“
Oh, I’m not allowed to talk
about what others say in confidence.”

“
You don’t narc on people to
superior officers? Isn't that your job, in essence?” Easy, Cassidy.
Put the pit-bulls back on the leash. Give a small disarming
chuckle.

Karen took a moment to weigh the
comment. “My main focus is to be of help on a one-on-one basis. The
only time I repeat anything is if someone’s safety is at risk.” She
lilted her voice in a similar disarming tactic, and to Cassidy, the
game was on. A war of words, body language, tone of voice. A joke
was in order.

“
Well, lock me up Doc, cuz
I’m gonna give Maxine a beating for calling you down on me!” They
both chuckled; Cassidy chuckled sincerely, Karen chuckled
politely.

“
Well, you can’t hold it
against Maxine for being concerned. It’s pretty plain to me that
she considers you a good friend.”

“
True, true. Maxine is aces.
Lotta pressure on her these days, being second in command suddenly,
and with Cip…”