Watch Me (13 page)

“Robert’s screwed up. That’s what I realize,” he said and didn’t speak again the whole ride home.

Amy had to do something to get Cain to react. If he couldn’t love her, she wanted him to hate her. Anything had to be better than the complete indifference with which he treated her now. He hadn’t been with a woman for three years, yet he
still
wasn’t tempted to touch her? What was that about? She wasn’t even good enough for a casual screw?

Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back against the couch, remembering what it’d been like in the old days. The first time he’d touched her, they’d been out behind her parents’ barn. He’d forgotten to take home the notes he needed to study for a test, a test he had to pass or he’d flunk the course, and he’d called to see if he could use hers. She’d had him come over, told her parents they were going outside to study and went into the barn, where she’d shown him what she was willing to give him. After that, she invited him over after parties, brought him home during school hours when her parents were working, even called and woke him up some nights so that she could sneak in through his window.

If only she hadn’t lost his baby…

God obviously hated her. Or He wouldn’t have taken the one thing that would’ve allowed her to keep some part of Cain, a part he could never take back. Having nothing was killing her. And it’d been killing her for years. When would the pain stop?

She couldn’t go on like this.

“What’s wrong?” Tiger wanted to know.

Amy slipped her bare toes under the blanket. Hot and humid as it was outside, she had her air-conditioning cranked high so she could cover up. It was too muggy to be close to Tiger and the heat his body generated without some air. “Nothing. Why?”

“You’re fidgeting,” he complained. “Sit still so I can watch the movie.”

She gazed blankly at the screen. They were probably fifteen minutes into some terrorist DVD Tiger had chosen, but she didn’t have a clue what it was about. People and cars were getting blown up. That was it. After the movie, Tiger would want to make love, and in order to get into it she’d pretend he was Cain. Then he’d go to sleep and snore until she was tempted to smother him to stop the noise. And, in the morning, she’d drag him out of her bed just in time for them to make it to work.

It was the same routine every day. But being with Tiger was better than being alone. When she was alone, she thought of Cain nonstop, drove up there even more often. Sometimes her presence made his dogs bark, but not always. They knew her. And, if it was really dark, she’d toss them each a dog biscuit so she could get close enough to see through the windows.

“Amy, stop it!” Tiger snapped.

She was fidgeting again. With a sigh, she got up and went to the kitchen. She knew she shouldn’t eat. She was getting fat, which would make her even less appealing to Cain. But food seemed to be her only solace. And what did a few pounds matter if she didn’t see any man other than Tiger? He was fat himself.

“You hungry?” she called.

“No, but you could bring me a beer.”

Another
beer? If he drank too many, she’d never be able to pretend he was Cain. Cain could be emotionally distant, but he was no bumbling, sloppy lover. “I’m out,” she lied.

“Wanna run to the store?”

“Hell, no,” she retorted, appalled that he’d even suggest it. But then she reconsidered. The prospect of seeing Cain had whetted her appetite for another visit to his house. She wanted to know what he was doing out there with Sheridan, wanted to see if he’d started using those condoms she’d left in his truck.

The thought of him in bed with Sheridan made Amy’s stomach ache. Sheridan, always the golden girl, had managed to land on her feet—again. “Lucky bitch.”

“What’d you say?” Tiger yelled.

“I said you’re lucky. I’ve decided to go out and get you a six-pack. I have a few things to drop off at my brother’s, too, so I might be a while. Hang out here and enjoy the movie, okay?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

She wasn’t worried. She’d have to undress in front of him just to get him off the couch.

“D
on’t do it.”

Sheridan frowned at Cain, who sat across the table from her, then studied her cards again. They were playing poker, something she’d suggested they do. She wasn’t strong enough yet to move around a lot, but she was tired of lying in bed and needed a diversion. Should she ignore him? She was about to raise her bet, but the caution in his voice made her hesitate.

Then it made her suspicious.

“What kind of poker player warns his opponent when he has a good hand?” she asked.

“One with a conscience, I guess,” he said, shrugging.

She studied the pile of money in the center of the table. They’d each put in about $50—not a fortune but she couldn’t afford to lose a lot of money. On her salary, she didn’t
have
a lot to lose. “You? A conscience?” she teased. “I think you’re bluffing. You’ve probably got a lousy hand, and you’re hoping I’ll fold so you won’t have to.”

A crooked smile curved his lips as his index finger tapped the table. “Do you want the truth?”

“Yes.”

“I’m actually doing my best not to take advantage of you.”

“You don’t have to warn me. I can take care of myself. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a big girl now.”

His eyes slid over her, making her heart pound. “I’ve noticed.”

“But…”

He laughed. “But I’ve also noticed that you’re a shitty poker player.”

Stung, she muttered, “We’ve only been playing for fifteen minutes.”

“I could tell in the first three.”

“That’s such bullshit!” She tossed a red chip into the center of the table. “I’ll raise you ten.”

“Suit yourself.” With a sigh, he promptly threw in a blue chip.

“Wait. Don’t you want to think about it? Obviously, I believe in my hand.”

“I’m satisfied.”

Damn. Now she was into the pot for another ten dollars, he’d just raised his bet by twenty, and she was facing the same decision she’d faced a moment earlier. Should she fold or raise again? “You think I should cut my losses.”

He rubbed his jaw. “That’s exactly what I think.”

“But you could be bluffing.”

“I could be, but I’m not.”

She eyed him over her fan of cards. She was holding three eights, which was the best hand she’d had so far. She wanted to use it to win; if only to show him he didn’t know everything. “I quit now, I lose sixty bucks.”

“If you don’t quit now, you’ll lose more.”

She bit her lip in indecision. “Oh, fine,” she snapped and, with a sound of impatience, laid down her hand.

He glanced at the cards she’d revealed, smiled as if he’d expected as much, and fanned out his own hand. He had a full house.

“You weren’t lying,” she said as he raked the chips toward him.

“Nope.”

“So why’d you warn me? You could’ve won a lot more.”

“I don’t want to financially cripple someone who reminds me so much of my mother.”

She stopped kicking herself for not listening to him sooner. Cain rarely mentioned his past. “I remind you of your
mother?
”

“Yep.”

Julia Wyatt had been beautiful. Sheridan would’ve been flattered if he’d said she looked like her, but she couldn’t see how the two of them resembled each other at all. “In what way?”

“Everything you feel registers on your face. I don’t think you could tell a convincing lie to save your life.”

That was a problem. She was attempting to lie to him every day, wasn’t she? By pretending he didn’t affect her on a sexual level. By pretending she wasn’t consumed with the thought of letting him touch her again. “It’s a good thing when the people around you can tell how you feel. It means I’m not dark and moody, like you.”

“Dark and moody?”

“Maybe not dark and moody, but…unreadable.”

He cocked his eyebrow at her while dealing the next
hand. “Sorry, if you want to know how I feel, you’re going to have to ask.”

“Okay,” she said. “I will. I have a few questions already.”

“Like…”

“Like how did your mother and John Wyatt get together.”

“What does that have to do with expressing my emotions?”

“I’m getting there.”

“We were talking about poker.”

“You have something else to say on the subject of poker?”

“I was about to express my emotions about it.”

She folded her arms. “Fine. Go ahead.”

His smile turned naughty. “I feel bad taking your money from you.”

“That’s…nice,” she said, but she could tell there was more. “But?”

His smile showed more teeth. “But I wouldn’t feel at all bad about taking your clothes.”

“And this is you being honest about your emotions?”

Finished dealing, he put the rest of the cards in the center of the table. “I just wanted you to know that I’m capable of saying what I feel.”

She couldn’t help laughing. “Your depth amazes me.”

“That wasn’t the angle I was going after, but I’ll take it. So what do you say?”

“If we changed to some other prize that made you feel less conflicted, I doubt you’d be warning me not to raise my bets.”

“Hell, no,” he said. “You can take care of yourself, remember?”

She remembered that she’d only won a single hand. “No, thanks.”

“It’d make things interesting.”

No, it’d make things dangerous. Sheridan wished it was her competitive spirit that was goading her on, but she knew the temptation came from farther south than her brain. “I’m not about to risk sitting here buck-naked with you sitting over there, wearing all your clothes and an ‘I told you so’ smile.”

“There’s that.”

And there was also what would probably happen if she succumbed to the temptation. “What made your mother marry John Wyatt?” she asked.

Sobering, he sat back. “I was enjoying the other subject so much more.”

“I’m curious.”

“I think she loved him. At first. I also think she saw it as a way out.”

“From…”

“From the life we were living. She was waitressing at a strip club in Nashville. It wasn’t a good environment, but it was the only work she could get that paid enough to keep a roof over our heads and let her be with me at least some of the time.”

“What about your father?”

“What father?”

“You’ve never heard from him?”

“Not a word.”

“And your mother’s family?”

“Her parents threw her out when she got pregnant with me, so she didn’t have them to rely on, either.”

Sheridan wondered if Julia was ever tempted to strip in order to make bigger tips, but she wasn’t about to ask Cain that. “Have you met her family?”

“No. She was adopted as a baby, but the couple who took her in conceived right afterward, and she always felt overshadowed. If they could throw her out like that and never even try to track her down, I don’t see any point in making contact.”

“So John frequented a strip club?” Sheridan remembered that he’d attended church services as often as her parents did; the two images didn’t seem to mesh.

“He tells everyone they met at a restaurant.”

Sheridan tucked her hair behind her ears. “I’ll bet your mother was excited that you were going to have a father.”

“Some father,” he said with a bark of derision.

“Did
she
feel she’d made a mistake?”

“I think she figured that out soon enough. The first year or two went smoothly, but John acted like a big baby most of the time and it became a serious problem. He demanded all her attention, which made him resent me. I’m sure she would’ve left him, but then she was diagnosed.”

“So she hung on.”

“She hung on because he wasn’t abusive, as irritating as his self-pity and emotional rants could be. She didn’t want to leave me alone, didn’t want to die knowing I’d have no one, and she trusted that Marshall would do what he could for me, provided she stayed with John.”

“What about John? If the marriage wasn’t working,
why did he hang on? Why’d he take care of her all those months? Was it out of compassion?”

Cain picked up his cards and stared down at them, but Sheridan knew he wasn’t really seeing them. “He was well aware that Marshall would cut him off if he walked out on her at that point. Marshall had already sold the hardware stores rather than letting John take over. He needed the money to provide for his retirement, but John didn’t see it that way, so the relationship was strained. Besides, John liked coming across as a hero. Everywhere we went, someone clapped him on the back, applauding for his selflessness.” He shook his head. “Letting us continue to live at the house was a small price to pay for the ego boost. It didn’t cost him anything. Marshall helped out with the bills since my mother couldn’t work, and John just went on about his business as if she wasn’t even there.”

“How sad for her.”

Cain narrowed his eyes. “I hate him for treating her the way he did.”

Sheridan wondered how Jason, living in that same house, remained so unaffected. She’d had a class with him. Occasionally, they’d met at the library to do homework together. Sometimes he’d called just to talk. He was popular and went out with a lot of girls, but she could sense that he was interested in her—maybe more interested in her than any of the others. She always had the impression that he was waiting for her to let him know she was ready to take their relationship in a new direction. But until she got involved with Cain, she was careful not to do that.

When Cain didn’t call her after the camper incident, she’d cornered Jason and flirted with him just a little. And that was exactly the trigger she’d expected it to be. He’d asked her out, she’d agreed and everything had gone horribly wrong from that point on. But during all their conversations, Jason had never even hinted that there was any stress in the household. Cain’s behavior was what told her that.

“Jason always acted as if everything was fine,” she said.

“In his mind, maybe it was. His father worshipped him, would give him anything he wanted.”

“Was John like that with Robert and Owen?”

“Not as much.”

“So Jason was his favorite.”

“By a long shot.”

Sheridan had so many other questions she wanted to ask Cain. But the telephone interrupted them. Cain’s chair squeaked as he shoved it back to grab the handset. “Hello?”

Sheridan toyed with the cards while she watched him. Her mind was still in the past, with Jason and what he must have been feeling, with Cain and Julia, with John and his selfishness. So it took her a moment to realize this call wasn’t for Cain. It was her parents.

“…Cain Granger…That’s right, Granger…She’s doing better…I’ll let her tell you about that…”

Swallowing a sigh, she accepted the phone. Her cell didn’t work—Whiterock wasn’t big enough to have its own accessory store so she still didn’t have a new charger—but she’d used Cain’s landline to leave her
parents a message at home. They refused to get a cell phone, which meant she would’ve had to contact the cruise company if she wanted to reach them before they returned, and she’d decided not to do that.

“Hello?”

“Honey, are you okay?” She heard her mother’s worried voice first, but it was only a second ahead of her father’s. He’d picked up the extension.

“Your message said you were
attacked.
What happened?” he shouted. “Why didn’t you call us?”

“There wasn’t any reason to ruin your trip.” After everything she’d been through, hearing from the two people who loved her most in the whole world nearly made her cry. She’d thought about contacting Jonathan, Skye and Jasmine plenty of times, but she’d been putting it off, probably because they’d think she was crazy for staying with Cain—and she didn’t want to explain or defend herself. She preferred to pretend that it was the smartest thing to do. Not telling them allowed that. “I’m fine—well, better, anyway. When did you get home?”

“Just a few hours ago,” her mother said. “There was an accident on the highway so we stopped to eat rather than fight the traffic. Had we known the news we had waiting for us—”

“How bad off are you?” her dad cut in. “Should we fly out there?”

“No. There’s no need for that. Leanne’s about to have her baby. You don’t want to miss is it, and I’m…all better.”

Cain had stood up to mute the television playing in the background. “
All
better?” he echoed softly, setting the remote down as he slouched back into his chair.

She shot him a quelling look. “It wasn’t as bad as it sounded,” she said into the phone.

“But you mentioned a hospital,” her father said. “If you had to go to the hospital, it was serious.”

“That was just so they could check me out. You know how cautious doctors are about head injuries.” The last thing she wanted was to make her parents miss the birth of their first grandchild—and land right in the middle of a scandal.

“So you’re really okay? You’re sure?” her mother said.

“I’m positive.” Except for significant memory loss, the knowledge that someone in Whiterock was trying to kill her, Amy’s attempts to destroy her reputation and the fact that she was staying with Cain Granger, who’d been the only boy capable of tempting her beyond her virtue twelve years ago… Except for all that, she was pretty much perfect.

“Then why don’t you come here? I know Leanne would love it.”

Not really. Leanne was stressed by the thought of having her in-laws visit from out of town. Sheridan didn’t intend to add to the pressure her sister was already feeling. She’d spoken to Leanne before coming to Tennessee, and they’d agreed Sheridan should wait until the baby was a few weeks old. After Leanne had gotten into the routine of caring for an infant and her other company had departed, they’d be able to spend some private time together. “I plan to visit soon. But I have things I need to do here first.”

“We can hire someone to get Uncle Perry’s house on the market,” her father said.

“I can do it, Dad. I’m already here, and I’m not leaving until I find out who’s…harassing me.”

“But it’s not safe for you to be alone,” her mother insisted. “And I don’t think you should be staying with
Cain Granger
.”

She’d said Cain’s name as if he were vermin. Lowering her head, Sheridan began to massage her temples. As much as she’d wanted to hear from her family, she was already beginning to regret letting them know she was having problems. “Stop it,” she muttered but, as usual, her mother didn’t listen.