Warped (26 page)

Tessa watched and listened, trying to figure out which of these choices appalled her the most. It was a toss-up. “What—what were you leaning toward?” she said lightly.

For the first time that evening Will smiled, his teeth flashing at her in the near dark. “I had thought to leave my decision up to fate, mistress.”

When Tessa said nothing, his smile faded. He leaned across the table, his expression intent. They stared at each other. Tessa felt her chest tighten; it ached with every breath she took. At that moment she felt they were alone, adrift in a black sea of dreams. There was no castle, no world. Nothing existed beyond this small pool of light and Will.

She must have trembled or made some small sound, because in the next instant Will stood and rounded the table.

“You’re cold.” He scooped her up in his arms and walked closer to the fire, her heavy skirts trailing. He sat in a chair, holding her so close that she could feel the steady drum of his pulse. He looked at her, and Tessa felt the cold melt away in the heat of the fire and Will’s gaze. She watched the firelight reflected in his eyes and then rested her head against his shoulder. Every part of her was warm: her feet, her hands, her heart.

The storm had stopped. A beam of light sliced across the floor.

“The moon,” whispered Tessa. She could see the pale globe through the window. “It will be full soon, won’t it,” she said.

“Tomorrow night,” said Will, following her gaze.

“That’s when the Norn said my father would . . . ” Her voice trailed off as she tried to picture her father, to imagine what was happening, what he was feeling. She should be there.

“Is his illness painful?” Will asked quietly.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. But it’s just . . . it’s awful not knowing what’s happening. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

That wasn’t exactly true, she told herself. She had to return the threads that Gray Lily had stolen before the full moon. And she hadn’t told Will everything.

Will was watching her. “Perhaps you won’t know what to do until the time is upon you,” he said. “There must be a reason for all this.” There was an expression of grim determination on his face. Or maybe hope.

“You were the one who released me from the tapestry,” he finished.

He said it as if it were some feat she had accomplished, had planned. “But—” she began, protesting miserably.

“I know,” he interrupted with a weary smile, and dropped his head back to rest on the chair. “It was an accident. But just consider the possibility that it
wasn’t
. That there is a
reason
you were able to release me.” He angled his head to look at her.

“Okay,” Tessa whispered helplessly. “Give me a reason.” Will pulled her close and kissed her.

Chapter 39

S
weet. The taste of honey from Will’s mouth. The smell of fire and flowers. The feel of his hands holding her. Touching her. Tessa lost herself in the kiss. Everything she had, everything she was, she offered to Will. Nothing mattered but tonight, she told herself. The fierce need to be close to him, to love him, drove everything else out of her head. Her purpose in life was to kiss Will de Chaucy. It was a calling, she decided.

They slipped to the floor, pulling down fur pelts and cushions to make a soft, if haphazard, bed against the cold stone. The warmth of the fire seemed nothing to Tessa compared to the heat of her own skin. Somehow, the bodice strings of her gown were loose. She threw her head back as Will traced kisses down her throat and eased the velvet from her shoulders.

She loved him. As impossible as it was, she loved Will de Chaucy, and at that moment, she could believe in anything. She
would
believe in anything. Karma, destiny, fate or invisible leprechauns.

She loved him. She had to tell him everything.

Tessa drew back from Will’s arms. “Wait. Please. I have to tell you something more,” she said, and brushed back her tousled hair. “You were right. It was me. I was the girl who trapped you.”

“I don’t understand,” Will said, his voice ragged. He pulled her closer, taking her hand in his own and putting her palm to his chest.

“It was another life, but it was me,” Tessa said slowly. “And lately I’ve been remembering what happened. And Gray Lily says if I—”

Will’s face was flushed, and Tessa could feel the wild beat of his heart in her hand. But he went very still and his gaze slid away from hers. “If you what?” he asked in a low voice.

“If I—” Tessa’s mouth had suddenly gone dry. “If I bring you to her, help to capture you as the unicorn, she’ll give me my life back.” She raised her eyes to his. “And my father’s life.”

Will let go of her and stood. “Why did you not tell me this before?” he said.

Tessa shook her head. “I don’t know. I was confused. I didn’t think it mattered, because I would never
do
that, Will.” She gathered the gown over her bare shoulders. She was suddenly cold. She turned away from Will, stepping closer to the fire, which had burned down; the coals glowed a dull and angry red.

Will shot out a hand and gripped her arm. “So. What is it you plan to do now?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You have to trap the unicorn to save your father. That’s why you came here.” He placed himself directly in front of her, raised his hands briefly and let them drop. She wasn’t sure if it was a gesture of challenge or defeat.

“No. You don’t understand,” Tessa said faintly. “I don’t know what to do. I just wanted to find you.”

They stood facing each other as the silence grew. Will looked at her as if she were a stranger. As if there were worlds between them. Just as there always had been, Tessa thought.

“You wanted to find me,” he repeated to himself. “And so of course, you have. I am a complete fool,” he went on, shaking his head. “It was as I thought. You are here only to trap me once more.”

Will’s lips curled in a faint, mocking smile. His eyes swept over her and down to the rumpled furs where they had been lying only moments before. “You are still the virgin in the wood. Virtue dangled as bait.”

Tessa stared at him. “What?”

“No more lies, Tessa!” he shouted. He gave a suspicious glance around the darkened room. “Where is she? Where is Gray Lily?”

Tessa shook her head. How could he believe that? When he kissed her, when he spoke to her, his lips grazing her ear, she could swear that he loved her. In fact, they had just been very close to making—

The thought struck her like a freight train. She felt the world twist away.

She put a hand to her throat. “You never trusted me,” she whispered, barely breathing the words. “You told me before that I was the one who trapped you. You even used the same words. The
virgin
in the wood.”

“Yes,” he said, his eyes unreadable.

She stared at him, replaying in her head every word, every glance, every kiss. “You never trusted me,” she repeated. “Not even after . . . ”
Not even after I fell in love with you
, she said to herself. She thought of all the times when he had distanced himself, kept himself apart. Cool, aloof. He had been protecting himself. From her?

A virgin in his haunts
, Tessa thought. Only a virgin could lure the unicorn into the snare. Only a virgin. And then the obvious finally sank in.

“And what if I wasn’t?” she asked.

“What?” Will asked.

“What if I
wasn’t
a virgin?” She said each word distinctly, slowly. “You’d be safe from me if I wasn’t a virgin. Is that what you thought? Is that why you kissed me? Why you would have—” She stopped, daring him with her eyes to deny it, to lie to her.

“Don’t be absurd.” Will’s face looked ashen, but Tessa wasn’t going to be fooled again.

“How stupid am I,” she said to herself, turning away and covering her face with her hands. “Stupid. Stupid.”

She heard Will mutter a curse under his breath, but she didn’t look back until he grabbed her and spun her toward him.

“Stop it,” he said. He was breathing hard. “Tessa. It is not that way.”

She shoved him away as hard as she could with both hands. “Leave me alone!” she cried, and ran across the dark hall.

“Where are you going?” he demanded.

“Don’t you know already?” she said sarcastically. She swiped at the tears streaking her face. “I’m going to set a trap for you.”

Tessa ran through the darkened hallways, her bare feet pounding hard stone. She didn’t care where she went or what happened. She just ran. The tears felt cold on her cheek as she made her way deeper and deeper through the dark. She climbed a passageway so narrow that the walls seemed barely wide enough for her to pass. She had to slow down finally when it became too dark to see. Her hands scrabbled against rough, unfamiliar forms as she came to the top. She spied a small room to her right, lit from a narrow window with a faint streak of moonlight. A low wooden bed stood in one corner.

Tessa collapsed onto it, exhausted.

Chapter 40

T
he thin mattress was stuffed with feathers—mostly the pointy, quill part, it seemed. Tessa opened her eyes. Between the crying and the goose feathers poking her all night, she felt raw, inside and out. She rose and went to the window. Outside, the low hills rolled away in a soft, rich palette of greens and browns. The day had dawned crystalline blue, with no hint of the ravaging storm the night before.

“It’s beautiful,” she said to herself. But beauty didn’t particularly impress her this morning, and she turned away, only to see Will standing in the doorway watching her.

Silently he came and stood next to her.

Tessa gazed out across the landscape, afraid to look at Will. He didn’t seem willing to speak about what had happened the night before. Or what hadn’t. Tessa knew she had overreacted.

Overreacted? She’d gone crazy, she thought, remembering her outburst. Will de Chaucy wouldn’t sleep with her to save himself. That was crazy. But what
wasn’t
crazy was the fact that he didn’t trust her. The idea hurt so much she could hardly breathe.

“Tessa,” Will said. “Look at me.”

“It’s all right,” she said quietly. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” Tessa pointed to a small figure approaching. “She’s here. Gray Lily is coming.”

“Then we had best prepare to meet her,” Will said shortly. He turned away.

Will gathered weapons from the wall. He selected a long wooden bow and quiver of arrows, both of which he slung over one shoulder; then a short, bone-handled dagger went into a sheath on his belt. He grabbed a huge sword in a heavy leather scabbard and fastened it around his waist. He was perusing a variety of round, hammered-metal shields when Tessa’s impatient huff finally caught his attention.

“Well?” she said pointedly. “Aren’t you going to give
me
something?”

Will looked taken aback but then surveyed the choices and passed a critical eye over her. “I don’t suppose you have ever used a crossbow.”

Tessa set her jaw. “Just show me.”

“Here,” he said as he handed the hefty and archaic-looking weapon to her. The weight of the crossbow surprised Tessa, and she threw Will an uncertain look.

“Don’t worry. You only need to aim and fire.” He strode to a chest, from which he took a handful of short arrows. He gave her one.

“Pretty heavy for an arrow, isn’t it?” Tessa said.

“It’s called a bolt,” said Will. “And it’s iron. Now watch.”

He took the crossbow from her. He bent over, put a foot into a leather stirruplike piece and, holding the bow steady, straightened himself and pulled the bow upward until the string caught in the notch and the bow seemed taut to the point of snapping.

“Lock it here,” Will said while Tessa watched intently. “The bolt lies here in the groove.” He slid in the sharply pointed, ugly-looking missile. “Keep your fingers clear of this.” He pointed to a firing mechanism. “This is a short-range weapon—it’s best to wait until your target is close, but it fires true and can pierce armor at fifty yards.

“Unlock this only when you’re ready to fire.” He indicated a small wooden catch. He put the crossbow in Tessa’s hands and guided the padded end to her shoulder. “Aim along the body and release this trigger to unloose the bolt.”

“Okay,” said Tessa, feeling her hands quiver. She frowned, straightened up, tightened her hold and sighted along the path of the bolt. “Like this?”

“Good.” Will nodded.

She took the extra bolts from him. She didn’t have a belt, so with a shrug she tucked them into the embroidered sash at her waist.

“Okay,” she said with a satisfied nod. Then, sensing Will watching her, she looked up at him. “Do I scare you?” Tessa asked coolly. She wasn’t sure why. Maybe to provoke him, to make him feel as unsettled as she did. Though he didn’t look afraid, Tessa decided.

“You always have,” he murmured.

They climbed the stairs to the battlements of the guard tower. They could see Gray Lily standing on the grassy slope, about a hundred yards distant. She began to walk toward the castle. Tessa squinted against the bright sunlight.

The old woman advanced to the grass near the edge of the moat and peered up at the battlements. She was dressed in a long gray dress and cloak.

“You! Girl! Send down the young master,” she called imperiously, “and you can go back to your world unharmed. I only want my unicorn.”

Will snarled a curse.

“You thought this would be a quaint, pretty place, eh, girl?” Gray Lily went on. “Welcome to reality. Actually, reality would be much worse. Now send down the young master,” she growled. “Or I will come fetch him.”

Tessa and Will looked at each other. Something strong and sure passed between them in that moment. Something that didn’t require words or promises. Tessa grinned. She was suddenly stupidly happy.

Will gave her an answering smile, then nodded and turned to Gray Lily. “Be on your way, old woman,” he shouted. “Perhaps you can peddle your wares farther down the road.”

Gray Lily let out a slew of profanity in reply. But she didn’t leave. She pointed a finger toward the distant horizon and began to speak. The sound was horrible. Tessa stepped back from the castle wall.