WAR: Opposition: (WAR Book 3) (17 page)

“Not. Another. Word.” Hurt and fury put a waver in her voice. “That was an amazing kiss. You did not take advantage of me. I wanted it. I initiated it.” She took a deep breath. “I do not regret it, but I swear, if you say one more more word you most certainly will.”

Seth raised his brows, then held up his hands in surrender. Amusement slowly replaced the complex mix of negative emotions that had sparked her temper.

So. There’s someone else in the world who can spark my temper as fast as Dev. Figures it would be another dominant male.

When Seth remained silent, she gave an approving nod. “That’s right.” Shoving down her emotions, she reached for her backpack. Only then did she realize that the bird had gone silent. She turned and found that it had flown away. Smart move. She was angry enough that she’d have probably focused on him—or her—next.

She shouldered her pack and waited for Seth to gather his things and take lead.

Obeying her warning, Seth didn’t speak. Still, it took Kirra a long while to calm down. Finally, she admitted that her anger wasn’t directed so much at Seth, as at herself. She had a bad history of dating the wrong men. Didn’t it figure that she’d finally show interest again in a man who didn’t want to want her?

Because he wanted her physically. She’d felt the tension in his body and the press of his arousal against her hip. But the regret and self-recrimination he’d shown made it clear that he had no interest in exploring the attraction between them.

“Is it because the attack tainted me?” she demanded of his back.

Seth slammed to a halt and spun to face her. “What?”

Nerves jumped in her belly. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. But now that she had, she needed to know. “Is the reason you don’t want me because I was the victim of violence?”

He swore viciously. “No. Kirra, how could you think that?”

“Some people believe I got what I deserved for hanging out with the wrong people.”

His faced darkened and his hands clenched into fists. “Who dared to blame you for the attack?”

She glanced away. “My parents,” she admitted with a bitterness that time hadn’t softened. “My brother never came right out and said it, but it’s clear he thinks an attack had been inevitable because of the work I did.”

Seth stepped forward, grabbed her shoulders, then shook her lightly. “Kirra, look at me.”

She bit her lip and met his eyes.

“No one, no matter what choices they’ve made in life, deserves to be attacked in such a brutal way.” His eyes blazed with anger. But not at her. For her.

His unexpected support caused her throat to tighten.

“Never think that it was your fault or something you deserved,” he continued. “Jesus. How could your parents say such a thing? If anything, it’s partly their fault for ignoring you after your twin died.”

Her lips parted in surprise.

Seth held her gaze. “Surviving such an attack makes you even more attractive. There’s nothing sexier than a strong woman.”

“Then why do you regret our kiss?” She wanted desperately to kiss him again, but was too afraid of being rejected.

His hand rose and he touched her lips briefly, before dropping away. “Because, if I’m going to protect you, I have to have my head fully in the game. I can’t do that if I’m thinking about stripping you naked and sliding deep inside you.”

She gasped.

“Yeah, that’s right. I want you. But this isn’t the time. And frankly, I’m not the man for you. You deserve better.”

The expression on his face broke her heart. “What? Why?”

Seth shook his head, turned his back to her, and marched away.

Kirra narrowed her eyes and followed. He’d warned her that he was no white knight, but she thought learning about her attack would put them on more even footing. Instead, he seemed to have put her on a pedestal.

Well, that would have to change. She hadn’t felt attracted to any man since the attack.

Careful. Your relationship with Franz started with strong attraction. You thought you could trust him to keep you safe, and look what happened.

She knew that little voice was right. Yet a small, stubborn part of her refused to bury her attraction to Seth. If she didn’t explore this, she’d regret it.

You might regret it more if you pursue him.

Ignoring her inner voice, she ducked underneath a branch Seth held out of the way for her and threw him a smile. The contrast between his aura of imminent danger and the gentle consideration he’d shown her made him doubly attractive to her.

Plus, thanks to his words of praise, she felt lighter now. Retelling her story had drained her, but her nap and the kiss had helped restore her equilibrium. She hadn’t realized that holding back the truth from those she met had become such a burden. But Seth not only didn’t judge her for being a thief or for the attack, but he admired her for surviving. That meant more than she’d ever be able to explain.

The way he’d reacted convinced her that he understood her trauma on a deep level. She hoped that some day she’d earn his trust so that he’d explain everything that had happened to convince him he was a bad man.

She watched a butterfly flit by. Like the butterfly, she’d emerged from the cocoon of her coma a changed woman. A better woman.

What would it take to transform Seth’s opinion of himself?

She pushed a vine out of her way. Before that kiss, she’d been trying to think of ways to contact Dev to let him know she was safe. But now she was glad she couldn’t call him. While she regretted the worry she was causing her brother, she knew that as soon as she spoke with him he’d sweep in and take charge. Dev would separate her from Seth, when what she wanted was more time alone with him. She preferred to remain out of touch for just a bit longer, even though it would definitely result in a well-deserved lecture.

She didn’t care. She had to figure out a way to break through Seth’s resolve, and that would take time. Maybe they’d find a place to stay that had a nice bed that they could share.

Yes. Getting him to hold her while she slept would be a strong start toward showing him that he had every right to touch her.

Smiling in satisfaction, she hummed a few bars of one of her more romantic songs. Sensual heat flushed through her as she watched Seth navigate confidently around protruding roots that she stumbled over.

Maybe if you paid more attention to watching where you place your feet than ogling Seth’s butt, you wouldn’t trip so often.

She shook her head. Yeah, she was definitely distracted. She needed to pay more attention to their surroundings and stay alert for danger. She wouldn’t let Seth take the entire burden of keeping her safe.

But as the afternoon progressed, she didn’t hear or see anything threatening aside from the gathering storm clouds. The jungle was actually a beautiful place. The varied birdsongs made her want to sit down and take out her recorder so that she could use them as background in her own music. She hummed a few bars of the new song she’d started when she’d been alone that night in the rocks above the beach, occasionally changing it to match the rhythm of the jungle.

A fly buzzed toward her face and she swatted it away. The insects she could do without. Also, the ache in her feet and the pounding in her head. But overall, she was too thankful at being alive to complain. What was a little discomfort compared to the fact that mere hours ago an assassin had been shooting at them?

Ahead of her, Seth cursed, then stopped abruptly.

“What’s wrong?” Kirra walked up beside him. “Oh.”

The ground fell away into a gully so packed with bushes she couldn’t see the bottom. It continued to the left and right as far as her eyes could see. “Well.”

“Yeah. This wasn’t on the map.” Seth glanced in both directions, then pulled his LED torch from its holder on his backpack and shone the light into the gully.

“Too deep. We can’t cross it.”

“What now?” Kirra asked. She looked left, toward the road. “There has to be a bridge for the cars to cross.”

“We can’t take the chance of being spotted. We’ll go right.”

“Okay.” A rumble in the distance had her narrowing her eyes at the dark gray sky. “Uh-oh.” The jungle had that silent, anticipatory air that happened just before a storm.

“Perfect. Just what we need.” Seth shrugged out of his backpack. “Do you have rain gear in case we don’t find shelter before the storm hits?”

“Yes.” She lowered her backpack to the ground and retrieved her jacket. The storm that first night had been wild and loud. Impressive. She’d enjoyed it because she’d been under cover.

She didn’t relish walking through a similar storm.

Once they were kitted out in their protective gear, Seth led her along the gully. A few minutes later, large, widely spaced drops of rain began to fall. But that quickly gave way to a heavy rain.

“Here.” Seth motioned at a thick clump of bushes. “Help me cover these bushes with fallen branches to form a tighter roof.”

Kirra set her pack down, then they piled the leafy branches on top of the bushes. While they worked, the wind picked up. It tossed some of the lighter branches away from their pile and drove the rain in horizontal bursts.

Lightning flashed, followed by the crack of breaking wood.

Seth dove on top of Kirra and bore her to the ground. She landed on her back with Seth on top of her, protecting her with his body and hands.

Something hit them, driving Seth painfully hard against her chest.

He grunted, then went still.

“Seth?” Kirra squeaked. His weight pinned her to the jungle floor. A sharp tree branch gouged her cheek. “Seth! Are you okay?”

A burst of thunder was the only answer.

She tried to take a deep breath, but Seth’s weight pressed her too tightly.

Oh, God. I can’t breathe!

Panic flooded her.

Pinned down…unable to escape the kicks and blows and cuts…pain clawing deep inside her while Franz laughed…

No!

She was not going to let the panic win. Because that would result in her doing nothing. And doing nothing equalled death.
I am safe. I am in control.

She
would
handle this. So what if she couldn’t take a deep breath? She’d just take several shallow ones.

She sipped at the air. Her chest hurt, but that didn’t stop her from continuing to draw in breath.

Lightning brightened the world. A moment later, the earth trembled under a roll of thunder. Repeating her mantra in her head, she opened her eyes to slits so the rain wouldn’t blind her and studied what little she could see of her surroundings. Seth had landed on top of her with his head turned to the side and resting on the ground. The back of his head pressed against her right ear. His arms were still bent protectively over her head.

A large tree branch had fallen across his upper back and shoulders. A smaller offshoot branch pinned Seth’s head in place.

“Seth? Are you awake?”

“Can’t…breathe…You…’kay?”

Relief flooded her. He didn’t think of himself as a white knight? Uh-huh, right. The idiot man had been hurt protecting her. That qualified as white knight in her book.

“I’m fine,” she murmured. “Hold still while I get us free.”

He grunted. Whether in protest or agreement, she couldn’t tell.

She cautiously wiggled her fingers and toes, then moved her hands and feet. She tried to only move the body part she was testing, because she didn’t want the branch to settle harder on Seth, or the offshoot to dig any deeper into her cheek. Finally she determined that although her upper body was pinned, her arms below her elbows, and her right leg were free.

Okay.

Somehow, using just her hands and her right leg she had to free herself from under Seth and the branch, then find them both shelter for the night.

Tears of fear and inadequacy stung her eyes. She didn’t want to be responsible for someone else’s well-being. She barely managed to handle her own life. What if she made the wrong move and the branch shifted, crushing Seth’s skull? One of its offshoots might even now be stabbing into a part of him she couldn’t see, while he bled to death.

“Stop it!” she muttered. “Think about this as a heist. What would you do if one of your partners had been injured? Stop. Assess. Plan. Execute.”

Okay, that helped. She took a breath and once more shoved her emotions to the side.

First things first. She felt upward until she found the trunk of the branch, then tried lifting it. It wasn’t a large branch, perhaps only as wide as Seth’s leg, but it was heavy, with lots of offshoots. Her lungs burned and her muscles protested.

Have to…do…this…

She shifted the branch far enough to let her wriggle sideways a bit. The offshoot scraped across her face before sliding free. Then dizziness and a cramp in her hand forced her to let the branch sink back onto Seth’s shoulders.

While she waited for the dizziness to pass, she planned her next assault. It took three more tries before she managed to reposition the branch such that she could get a firm grip and shove it fully away from them.

Seth groaned.

Kirra rolled and wriggled until she could scoot out from underneath him, careful to let him sink gently onto his stomach.

She’d done it! Flooded with relief, she lay on her back on the wet jungle floor and tried to catch her breath. Her chest ached when she breathed too deeply. She’d probably have a bruise from where Seth’s elbow had driven into her. Despite the soreness, she reveled in the ability to fill her lungs completely again.

Stop lazing about. Seth needs your help.

She sat up. “Seth, are you okay? Can you move?”

He gave a low, pained grunt that could have meant anything from “leave me alone, I’m dying” to “give me a moment and I’ll dance a jig.” She patted his leg. “Stay still while I figure out what happened.”

She studied their surroundings.

“Okay. Here’s what I see. A tree about twice my width crashed to the ground. A branch as wide as your thigh broke off and fell on you.” She swallowed heavily. They wouldn’t have survived if the trunk of the tree had hit them.

She fingered her guitar pick to center herself. Seth needed her to keep a clear head.