War of Wings (3 page)

L
ucifer stared down from the top of the Rolling Hills of Peace just west of the Great Mountain at the sixty-six angels constructing his throne. They were carving ornate designs out of gold, chipping away pieces of the legs and armrests, shaping cushions from a gelatinous material, and sewing intricate details into various pieces of the throne’s cloth. The cushion of the seat was made with red velvet and had white trim. It looked old and predictably like something God would have, not something he would have chosen. Yet he felt it was nothing compared to God’s. Not even on the same level. The angels were wasting their time.

Saraquel caught his eyes and immediately labored up the hill in his direction. Lucifer noticed that Saraquel’s stringy, dark hair was long now. It flopped from side to side as he walked, and Lucifer remembered what that felt like; his own hair had been long until recently. Saraquel’s forehead wrinkled as he opened his eyes wide for a welcome greeting. He must want something.
Lucifer glanced over the creature so different from him.
He looked frail and uneven because his arms were unusually long for his body, yet his hands and feet were small. His skin wasn’t pristine like most angels. It was dry and scaly.

He approached Lucifer, head lowered, and slowly raised it after Lucifer acknowledged him. “Your throne is turning out to be quite magnificent, great Lucifer.”

“I am looking forward to commenting on the finished product, Saraquel.”

“We will work on it until we have pleased you.”

“Will this be worthy of sitting next to God’s throne on the highest tier of Heaven?”

Saraquel’s expression made it apparent the answer was no. “We will do everything we can.”

Lucifer stared into the distance. “Your hair. It has changed.”

“I grew it long to match yours from the ceremony.” All angels could will their hair to grow, but most kept it short for convenience.

Lucifer felt it looked nothing like his. He read the words engraved on Saraquel’s chest:
Ab uno disce omnes
. From one, learn all.
What could he possibly learn from this sad angel? “The long hair suits you well.”

“Oh thank you, Lucifer!”

“I will be back soon. I expect you will have the throne ready upon my return.”

“Yes, sir. Will you have time to speak to me about some of my questions when you come back?” Saraquel’s eyes were hopeful.

“I will do my best to make time.”

Saraquel smiled ear to ear. “Before you go, please tell me your thoughts of the news.”

Lucifer slowed the opening of his wings. “What news?”

“The news of God’s equal. You haven’t heard? I just know it will be you.”

“No, I haven’t heard. Tell me.”

“God is declaring a Son. I figured you will be promoted and that is why we are constructing this throne for you. All of the angels have been talking about this.”

His promotion. Finally. He could barely contain himself. “I will be back, Saraquel. Thank you for the news!” Stretching his massive wings, Lucifer flew straight down off the mountain. He propelled himself south, soaring over the glorious fields on his way to the rocky cliffs at the Marble Falls.

As he flew across the Field of Tranquility, it turned a magnificent shimmering yellow. He stared at the brightness of the field with joy. He’d never seen that color in this field before. He halted abruptly at the very edge of the Marble Falls and stood on the tips of his toes for a moment. A cloud of dust traveled in front of him over the edge and climbed up around his sixty-six-foot wingspan as he looked down. He took in the majestic beauty and great depth of the roaring river below, took a deep breath of the cool, perfect air, and leaped off headfirst. He plummeted toward the water, gliding past the four waterfalls. There were four tiers that fell over seventy miles on each level, making it almost three hundred miles from top to bottom. Marble made up the rock faces, with each level lighter than the next. It started with deep shades of brown, black, and gray, and ended with light variations barely above white. As he entered the river, his speed parted the water so easily there was hardly a splash.

He quickly covered thousands of miles through the depths of the sea. On the other side, he emerged to view the never-ending black of the cosmos. The infinity of its area was inconceivable. This place was very familiar to Lucifer. He’d spent countless days there already.

Lucifer let out the most jubilant yell of his life. At last, it was his moment. He would finally be able to take what was rightfully his, the highest seat in all of Heaven. He would soon know all the secrets God kept from him. The reasoning for the cosmos itself troubled Lucifer. He had many questions about creation, but this one weighed heavily on his mind. Where did the cosmos come from? Why was it there? Where did it truly start and where did it end? Why didn’t God tell the angels about it? Lucifer always went to the cosmos to challenge his own understanding. The more he was in the midst of something he could not explain, the more he burned to know about it and everything else that didn’t have an immediate answer. It helped him prepare himself to approach God for the answers he didn’t have. Truthfully he hated having to ask God, but he pretended to enjoy the open discussions and to be gracious of God’s willingness to answer every single question. Now he wouldn’t have to. He would be God’s equal. He would know everything.

After a few hours of thought and flight through the infinite space, he noticed something very tiny but light in the far distance. His powerful senses allowed him to perceive it, but before he could get to it, there was a tremendous explosion. It was not like some of the heavenly displays of fire put on by the thrones in celebration and worship of God. No, this was an explosion within itself. It seemed impossible, but it shook the very emptiness of its surroundings. Lucifer had never seen anything like it.

He stared, frozen. The massive explosion seemed so far away. If he hadn’t seen it with his own two eyes, he would have never believed it. In mere seconds, the sound of the thunderous blast assaulted his ears and thrust him backward with an unreal force. He was shocked by what was happening and awestruck at the newly formed objects flying around. One of them smashed into him hard enough to be broken by his body like butter parted by a hot knife. The mass broke off into many pieces, but Lucifer was injured. Though his shoulders took the main brunt of the blow, his left side was extremely bruised. Still, he would heal quickly. Not even this could spoil the news of his promotion.

Lucifer quickly realized he was in harm’s way. He rushed back along the pathway he had come, through the water, up the waterfalls, and over to the Great Forest of Harmony, just south of the falls, where he crashed to the ground. He was confused, amazed, and completely exhilarated. He stopped under a large apple tree to try to figure out what had happened. He went over the event in his head and attempted to make sense out of it with logic and mathematics.

He had a firm grasp on how energy and matter worked together, so he tried hard to figure out a way they could have related to each other in order to cause such a tremendous explosion. He started to weigh all possible explanations without factoring in any divine intervention. He was sure he was the only angel who ever considered the nature of things first. He picked a large golden apple from the tree above him and bit into its juicy flesh. Could God have caused this explosion?

He sat under the tree for hours trying to figure it out, but he could not. It frustrated him, and he couldn’t let it go. He got up and paced back and forth. He would figure it out no matter what. He was determined not to ask God for this answer.

Lucifer headed just a bit north of the forest to a transparent bridge made of exorbitant golden boulders that floated on the air and stretched for miles across the river. Although the bridge was unnecessary for crossing because the angels could simply fly, it actually received much use because of the views it offered and its comfortability. He could nurse his injuries there. When he sat on the golden bridge in one place for more than ten seconds, it slowly loosened and formed to his backside and even his wings. He lay on it with his wings fully expanded, for it was rejuvenating his joints. He decided to stay there until he came up with the answer he was seeking about the cosmos or God came calling to announce his promotion.

“I can’t believe it. A Son is coming soon!”

Lucifer opened his eyes to see three angels huddled together on a boulder a hundred yards away.

“He will be as glorious as our Father.”

“I wonder what he will look like. I’m sure he will look like the great Lucifer.”

Lucifer smiled, closed his eyes, and sank into his boulder to stay hidden. Of course, he would look like Lucifer. He was the one being promoted.

“No, I heard he is even greater than Lucifer in every way. I heard he is like the Father Himself and we will be able to look upon Him! His name is Jesus.”

Lucifer’s eyes shot open. He struggled to get up from his boulder, but the sudden movement didn’t allow the gold to expand. He was trapped. The motion sent a sharp pain through his entire left side, and in an instant his injuries were back.

“When will we be able to gaze upon him?”

“It was announced by the cherubim that the Son of God will be arriving in Heaven soon!”

Lucifer gasped, and the perfect air turned thick and traveled through his chest like a viscous liquid. His head tingled and his vision blurred as a sudden blackness consumed him. How could God have betrayed him? Was his performance at the Ludus Paradisus anything less than worthy of a promotion? What other angel could have done everything he had? How could He do this to Lucifer? How could He look past him? This couldn’t be true.

He would ask God himself. He deserved answers now. As Lucifer started back up to the Great Mountain, he began mentally preparing himself to go before God without revealing his thoughts or emotions. This would be quite a feat, but he had done it before. At least he thought he had. Maybe he wasn’t actually able to hide things from God and God just let him think he could. He shook off that thought and started refocusing. As he was approaching the gates that surrounded the heavenly city, he could feel his chest about to burst through the tiny chains of his armor.

“Open, Barterus.”

The dominion quickly opened the gate to the inner city. He bowed as Lucifer approached, and his helmet fell to the ground and stuck in the soft dirt. Lucifer did not alter course and stepped on it, driving the helmet deeper into the ground. It felt good. He stopped, picked it up, and handed it to the dominion. “My apologies.”

“No, Lucifer, I am sorry it fell in your way. Is everything all right, sir?”

“No, Barterus, it is not.”

Lucifer walked to the transparent golden ramp but did not look down. He was wrought with frustration. He crossed the seraphim bridge and it didn’t seem quite as beautiful anymore. Lucifer didn’t feel small beneath the statues this time. In fact, he had never felt bigger than in this moment. He needed to feel big since God was trying to make him small.

He crossed the courtyard. At the fountain, he washed his hands and splashed water over his hot face. He took a deep breath as he realized what was about to happen. He could do this, he assured himself. He had to. Lucifer walked up to the first step of the staircase and knew there was no turning back. He would never turn back.

He had always looked forward to the awesome feeling of euphoria on the golden staircase to the upper tiers, but this time it was wholly absent. When he noticed the difference, he stopped. He was a little disappointed but knew this was a confirmation that he was onto something. He was on a mission, so he shook it off and began his walk again toward his supposed creator. God had better not have a Son.

T
here was no darkness in Heaven because of the very light Lucifer was climbing the stairs to confront. A day consisted of a twenty-four hour period, based on God’s unique time. Lately Lucifer had been noticing that time seemed to matter to him. Now there was none left. He was inherently talented at keeping track of time, which was considered insignificant by every other angel with the exception of the record-keepers of the powers. Maybe there was a reason Lucifer was good at it. He wasn’t sure.

He looked down over the heavenly city, taking note of how the angels were always so productive. They simply enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment that came with hard work. They just wanted to please God.
Consistency and routine had always been a part of everyday existence. But for what? He felt emptied out. He was a rind with no fruit.

Lucifer arrived at the thrones’ platform. The decadence the velvet bestowed seemed absurd this time. What a ridiculous group of angels
.
He didn’t have time for them and raced upward, ignoring their bows, greetings, and questions. He had time for no one but God.

He reached the platform of his fellow cherubim. Even his own level seemed dim. The pearl wasn’t as white, the homes appeared dismal, and even his friends seemed less important. Everything he had worked for was slipping away, and there was nothing he could do about it except hear his fate directly from the One he had led the angels to worship all of this time.

Many different activities were taking place on this level. Some angels were debating in groups, some were designing elaborate construction plans, while others were sitting in pure silence with expressions of bliss. Lucifer chuckled to himself in disgust. All of the angels Lucifer passed stopped what they were doing and acknowledged him as their leader.

He caught a glimpse of Thyaterra and stopped dead in his tracks. This wasn’t her level, and for some reason she had her eyes uncovered again. She was accompanied by none other than Bretabian. Even with this awful timing, he couldn’t resist her. Her face alone made him feel that perhaps everything wasn’t lost. She approached him with an eager look on her face.

“Thyaterra.” He gave a small smile, taking her in. He glanced to her left and the smile was gone. “Bretabian.” The angel responded with a bow, and Lucifer cringed inwardly.

“It’s been a while, Lucifer. Haven’t seen you since the performance at the Ludus Paradisus,” said Thyaterra.

“I’ve had much going on, Terra,” Lucifer answered, turning his attention back to her.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I see Bretabian has taken care of you in my absence.” Lucifer fixed him with an unwavering look.

Bretabian looked uneasy. “She has missed you, Lucifer. It’s good to see you,” he said.

“That is appreciated, Bretabian.” He was not interested in the least in what Bretabian had to say. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Lucifer placed a hand on the small of Thyaterra’s back, just beneath her wings, and guided her to a small alcove. She put up little resistance though when she turned to face him, her eyes were wide, almost luminous.

“I’ve missed you too,” he said, “but I have been taking care of something important.”

“I’m worried about you, Lucifer. Something feels wrong. Are you upset about the announcement of God’s Son?” His insides seemed to cave in on themselves. “So it’s true?” He needed to hear it from Him. Thyaterra looked at him with those soft eyes. He couldn’t take it.

“It is what it is. You don’t seem too worried. I’m sure between God and Bretabian you keep occupied.”

“I don’t understand why you say that.”

“I’m different now. I think differently. I see things that others cannot, and I don’t like much of what I see.”

“What you are trying to say?”

“Maybe Bretabian can explain it to you since he is so accommodating in my absence.”

“Stop it, Lucifer. You are being unkind.” Two of her wings folded protectively around herself, their feathers brushing against her chin as if ready to cover her face.

“Well, you know I love your opinion on matters, but I’m not fond of Bretabian following you around.” He buried the real hurt from what had just shattered his world.

She took a step away, her wingtips now over her mouth while the glow from her skin shone through them. “He is a kind angel, but you know he does not mean what you mean to me. I have always been there for you.”

It was true, and he found himself wanting to step close to her, to draw her wings from her face. Then his reason for the trip overwhelmed his thoughts again, and he could not keep the edge from his voice. “You have, Terra. I have to speak with His Highness, but I also want to take you somewhere and discuss things soon.”

“Are you all right?”

“Yes. I have much to tell you if I can trust you to keep it from others like Bretabian.”

“Of course, you can trust me. I will help you, whatever you need.”

“You will be proud of me, Terra. As proud of me as you are of God. I’ll see you soon.”

He turned to leave before she could respond, hurrying off the platform and up to the third tier, almost too quickly—the hollow rush of feeling that had once been euphoric now made him ill and light-headed. He had to reach the throne. He had to see the so-called Maker.

The seraphim all had their eyes covered, but still they faced Lucifer as he approached as if they knew he was coming. Did they know what was about to happen? Lucifer looked around at the platform made of the finest jewels in existence. He deserved to be on this level. Every structure was covered with millions of different types of gemstones all glowing brilliantly, and they taunted him. It made him realize how unimportant he really was to God.

He had already wasted too much time. He ascended the final staircase to the throne and approached God’s blinding light. He had made it. It was time for his moment of truth. One of the four seraphs who guarded the throne slowly walked up to him with two of her wings covering her eyes, two covering her feet, and the other two standing tall and outstretched behind her back.

“The Lord our God is holy and worthy to be praised,” said the seraph passionately.

“He is,” said Lucifer, struggling to get it out.

“He is waiting for you.” Her voice was like a song.

Walking up to God sitting on His throne, Lucifer covered part of his face and got on one knee. He noticed the light was a little less blinding this time. The material and structures of the entire platform were still too hard to make out from His powerful glow, but he saw colors he had never seen before. Lucifer’s throne should reside up here as well.

All he could feel was the presence of the massive throne, and he wanted one. It occurred to him that the angels couldn’t even see God yet still praised Him. Lucifer engaged directly with the angels, but they still adored and worshipped Him. Lucifer bowed his head and kept his eyes to the ground.

“I have come to ask for your guidance and wisdom, Father. I have also come to ask you a question,” said Lucifer.

“You have come upon great knowledge, O highest of cherubim,” God said in a chillingly powerful voice.

Lucifer froze a moment before speaking. He tried to hide his mind and heart, but he felt he was not as successful as he had hoped. God knew why he was here, he was certain. “Yes, and I have become confused searching for the answer that I seek. But before that I must ask you something.”

“What is your question, my son?”

“You call me your son? Why is that?”

“Every angel is a son of God.”

“I hear you mean to have a real Son, a Son that you recognize to be on your level. Have I not done everything I can to praise you?”

“You have, Lucifer. Be careful of your own mind and where it takes you.”

“Is it true? Tell me!”

“Yes.”

Lucifer’s body instantly ached all over. His elbows hit the cold, jeweled ground below him. He reached deep inside and mustered a roar. “How could you do this to me?”

“This is not about you, Lucifer.”

“Everything is about me!” Lucifer screamed without thinking. God paused just long enough for a chill to travel down Lucifer’s spine.

“Listen to yourself and truly hear.”

“I have given you everything, God. Angels look up to me as their leader, and you presume to demote me by announcing a Son above me?”

“You are not being demoted, Lucifer.”

“I see it no differently! Are you surprised by this? Shouldn’t you know what I came here for as our almighty God?”

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”

“So do you know what I have seen?”

“I know much of your time is spent outside the realms of Heaven.”

He felt nervous and childlike in God’s presence, and he couldn’t stand it. It was like God knew everything he had seen and knew exactly what he came to ask and was actually toying with him. “I am often more comfortable there, alone.”

“What is it that you seek?”

“You think I am unworthy of your level. Well, I may think differently. Through the knowledge I have gained, I know that it is impossible that one could be the beginning and the end. How can you claim to be something that is impossible for everything and everyone else?”

He was surprised that he got to his point so quickly. A pause of silence, which felt like eternal minutes to Lucifer, fell between the two of them, but he was calm and longed for an answer. He stayed still, head down, knee bent, waiting for God’s answer. Maybe He didn’t know.

“I warn you—be careful, Lucifer. It is so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of philosophy and reason but in the power of your living God. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I have given you free will to make your own decisions, but that is all you need to know.”

He jumped up and stared directly into God’s light with clenched fists and venom pumping through him. Everything that had been welling up exploded in an instant. “Any fool can have faith! That is not good enough!”

“Are you challenging my authority, Lucifer?” returned God with a voice like thunder.

“And if I am? I do not fear you!”

God’s light intensified, and Lucifer squinted and fell back to a knee. His fists were still clenched as he continued. “Do you not want us to be wise, Father? How can we be wise without questioning and challenging you?”

“The fear of me, your God, is the beginning of wisdom.”

“Answer me! Stop toying with me and give me what I want, or I will leave you this time!”

God did not answer him. Had he lost his fear of God? What was happening? Lucifer felt heat pumping through his body but shoved it back down into the ball he had been holding it in. He needed to gain composure as God was obviously in charge of the conversation, not him. This was not what he wanted. A few seconds that felt like days went by before he finally spoke again. “I apologize, Father. I don’t know what came over me. I have had much going on lately. The announcement of your new Son startled me.”
Disgusted me
,
he thought
.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

He had much more to say and many more questions, but he knew God would not be pleased and that this was not the time. He would never get anything from God. He felt the pain turning to anger and resentment, but he didn’t want to give into it. Not now. He would wait until the time was right for the entire discussion, the entire confrontation, the entire war, so instead he made a huge decision right then and there.

He would no longer follow God. It broke his heart to think of the many years God loved him and he loved God, but reason was what mattered now. Not childish, ignorant, blind faith and love. God was not what He said He was, and it was time for Lucifer to expose this new truth. Faith was for the weak and ignorant.
He was neither, and his faith was gone.

God never responded.

“I thank You.” Lucifer did his best to disguise his true feelings. “There is nothing else that I need from You.”

With that, he got up and started his descent away from God, walking quickly while resisting the urge to fly away at full speed. He was overwhelmed with anger and disappointment, yet these negative feelings birthed a strong sense of power unlike anything he had felt before. He felt as if he could single-handedly change the way things were in Heaven and gain the authority and respect he was seeking. It felt strange, but it also felt good. Great actually. He felt like his own god and had reason to justify it. He had not felt the usual euphoria on his walk to God’s throne; this feeling had replaced it, and he only wanted to feel more of it. He yearned for more power, and he now knew how he would get it.

He hurried on, putting distance between himself and God. He had suddenly realized the real reason Heaven had warrior angels, guardian angels, and keepers of the laws. Although he tried feverishly to mask all of these new feelings, he knew God sensed them. He was nervous that God was directly behind him and felt he couldn’t go fast enough. Maybe God even knew Lucifer’s plans for what was to come. What would He do if He did? Lucifer kept hurrying away and was careful not to turn around and find out.